What a day

[vercetti2021]

I went to lunch today with my dad. Yeah this was a difficult time for me considering I'm transitioning currently. Thankfully he didn't catch on. For now at least.

But they had the TVs plastered with Fox News propaganda. Then of course he starts in with Seattle and Portland are being ruined by antifia. Amarillo is being overrun by Californians. (He is from California)

Starts in with how Starbucks is too liberal and hates cops. Like it just went on and on. Silently I'm slamming my head against the table.

Oh and this restaurant was packed and I was only the very few with a mask. Thankfully I have one dose so far.

Can I scream here now?

[bottomofthehill]

1. Please vent

Primal scream is also cathartic.

[MLAA]

2. You scream like crazy! At the top of your lungs!

You have more patience than I. Hope you don’t have to go to lunch with him again for a long time!

💕💕💕💕💕💕

[erronis]

3. Come on back and let us know how it works out. And good luck with the transition...

not sure what that means but I'll guess.

Good luck in any case!

[vercetti2021]

12. Well

Transitioning from male to female and I've been on hormonal replacement therapy for 4 months now. And it's starting to show its effects. Weight loss, voice cracking, skin and muscles changing.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

15. I hope you become the lady

You always were.

I'm halfway between F to M.

It's scary being trans these days. So many right-wing nuts hating us for being who we are.

You don't have to see your wingnut relative. You don't have to subject yourself to him. And don't hide the beautiful woman within you for the wingnut sake. The sooner you close off that " relationship" the better your life will become.

Your family does not have to be blood relatives.

My true family is not my Relatives.

My sisters remain because they respect who I am and are democratic.

I choose what people I call my family.

[vercetti2021]

25. OF course

I guess it's a weakness from childhood emotional abuse is why I can't just cut it off.

As for being trans, I'm fulling embracing it. The righties can kiss my ass because this trans can fight, kick ass and, shoot.

I won't be scared of those people.

We'll be okay. I know we will.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

26. Yes

[SheltieLover]

4. Not sure how you do it, V...

We are here for you.

[vercetti2021]

8. This comes to mind

Internally for one hour

[SheltieLover]

18. But why do this?

[vercetti2021]

24. Why do most defend their abusers?

It's just not easy for me to just cut off. It's a self fulfilling issue and weakness

[Sanity Claws]

5. Scream away

Is it possible to steer him away from his obsession on RW shit and talk about people you know or activities you did together? Maybe a stroll down memory lane.

[vercetti2021]

7. Honestly can I be honest?

I have no happy memories with him. He made my childhood a nightmare.

[Sanity Claws]

9. Now, can I be honest?

Honestly, you don't have to socialize with certain people just because they are family.
You have to do some weighing to decide whether it is worth it.

[vercetti2021]

10. Does it help that I am weak around him?

Like I was when I was a child? Even as an adult I can't feel I can shake him off me.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

17. That weakness

Is an effect abusers cause traumatized people.

He is triggering you and you are back to being a child unable to fight against him.

I would reccomend no contact until you get therapy.

I had that same issue with my tyrant father.

Until I realized what was happening and why.

[vercetti2021]

22. I had therapy

It didn't help me, I just turn off emotions as best as I could

[Hekate]

20. It's pretty common to regress in the presence of abusive or problematic parents...

And also common to think (deep down inside, even as an adult) that if you just keep trying, they’ll change and love you for who you are.

Chances of that are slim to none, this side of the grave, and I say that as a straight woman who, once I (sort of) got over my mother’s reaction to my doctoral dissertation that I delivered when I was 50 — well, I tried to make a joke to someone about how she had never in my whole life found my academic achievements up to her standards, including getting a PhD, except it wasn’t funny.

The journey you are on is huge. Love yourself, and be with those who love you for who you are and what you will become. Celebrate your achievements, and be with those who will celebrate with you. Check in with us when you feel like it — just do, okay?

DU hug

[vercetti2021]

23. That's what scares me

He didn't notice the changes I'm going through. Once I start looking more and more feminine. That's what terrifies me.

[Hekate]

27. If you are not already in therapy, I recommend it highly. A good therapist can give you tools...

Among other things, to be able to ask yourself if you want a confrontation, or if what you really want to do is walk away, and if so, how.

[vercetti2021]

29. I can't afford a therapist

I maxed out my credit card on my last therapist. Never gonna be able to pay that off until I'm dead now

[Hekate]

30. Well, damn

[vercetti2021]

31. Yeah

No good sadly

[Hekate]

28. Doggone duplicate

[OriginalGeek]

6. Since my mother died 11 years ago

I haven't had to talk to my far-right stepfather even once.

It's been nice.

I freely acknowledge that it's probably easier for me though. I presume you like your father in spite of his current beliefs. I wish it wasn't hard for you and hope it becomes easier. If screaming and venting here helps please feel free to do it. (Not that I'm in any position to grant that authority but you can count on me to back you up).

[vercetti2021]

11. I actually don't like him nor hate him

I just have no emotion for him

[OriginalGeek]

16. Sometimes I wish I didn't care...

Mine came into my life when I was 11. I am 57 now and I'm just waiting for him to die so I can piss on his grave and (hopefully?) be done with it. I live 1100 miles away but will make that flight.

My life hasn't been all bad but I have scars that may never go away. Amazing what one dedicated asshole can accomplish in 6 years (I left home at 17).

[FakeNoose]

13. Invite your Dad to send all the AntiFa he can find to Pennsylvania

There aren't nearly enough AntiFa here and we have way too many MAGAts. There's just no balance at all, once you're outside of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. I'd actually like to meet an AntiFa person sometime.



Edit to add:

(Everyone I know is against fascism, but nobody belongs to the organization called "AntiFa." )

[vercetti2021]

14. I should have said I am Antifa

I would have loved to see his reaction

[pansypoo53219]

19. luckily i don't have to see my paternal unit + step monster.

[lunatica]

21. Remember

that in the end you will win. Just keep on keeping on.