Warning to all Chicken Kissers from the CDC: "Don't kiss your chickens!"

[Towlie]

Don't Kiss Your Chickens, The CDC Says In A Salmonella Warning

It's sad that your chicken might think you don't love it anymore, but it's for the best.

[tanyev]

1. MAGAts: "I'll show them chicken fascists!"

[Initech]

14. Meanwhile on Tucker Carlson...

https://www.businessinsider.com/tucker-carlson-fox-news-cdc-kiss-chickens-2021-5

[tanyev]

17. OMG, they're mental.

[Towlie]

2. If kissing a chicken can give you salmonella, can kissing a salmon give you chicken pox?

 
←

[meadowlander]

7. When you get it from a salmon, it's chicken lox.

[Towlie]

8. Damn, I've been out-punned!

 
←

[Marrah_Goodman]

16. I do believe you just won the internet.

[Midnight Writer]

3. Kinda takes the romance out of chicken fucking.

[Kaleva]

22. give a gift of meal worms and return her clucks

[liberaltrucker]

4. Other experts say that choking your chicken is still safe

[roamer65]

11. ..

[TheBlackAdder]

5. Meanwhile, at Mar-a-Lago. . .

.




or the Minecraft version. . .



.

[Bayard]

6. Not on the first date anyway

[JHB]

9. What if it's just a little peck?

[smirkymonkey]

10. *snort*

Good one!

Seriously, is this really a thing?

[Treefrog]

12. I love my chickies.

No problems here, they get cuddles, but I’m not big on kisses anyway.

[Initech]

13. Seriously, if the CDC said "don't shoot yourself in the foot"...

Tucker Carlson would be holding nightly demonstrations literally shooting himself in the foot!

[Marrah_Goodman]

15. Big Facts!! n/t

[Hekate]

18. Chickens kept as pets (which is what small backyard flocks are) are affectionate ...

...and known to jump into someone’s lap. They just do. Never have just one hen — they are very social. They also will fairly often choose one of their sisters to gradually peck to death, and it’s not nice.

However, always wash your hands after handling their eggs, or them, or cleaning the coop. Always.

There are a lot of people who anthropomorphize any animal that lives with or near them, and those are the people who are likely to kiss their chickens while holding them. That makes them dumb clucks — the human, not the bird.

Widdle Pucker, for his part, is just asinine.

[ZonkerHarris]

19. What about your cocks?

[Angleae]

20. So what are we supposed to do to them on date night? Choke them?

[11 Bravo]

21. What advice do they offer vis-a-vis choking the chicken?

I mean, think of all the poor conservative incels out there.