❤️ A request for positive energy, prayers, etc. My husband's surgery is this morning.❤️

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

My husband, KT--one of the kindest, most generous, loving men on earth--is due to arrive at the Perelman Center in Philly at 7:30am tomorrow, Tuesday, May 25, with surgery commencing probably around 9:30am. He’s having a prostatectomy due to a particularly nasty case of prostate cancer with which he was diagnosed in late March.

Whomever among you so inclined, kindly offer up whatever variety of positive vibes and healing energy you wish: lit candles, metta meditations, prayers, incantations, etc.

My mother's sister died suddenly in October. My father died in October of pancreatic cancer. My brother died on December 26th in a tragic accident. If anyone's got any positive vibes left after sending some to my husband, I'd appreciate a few sent my way, as well.

Thank you, fellow DUers, for your kindness in times of need.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

1. Your husband will be in my prayers

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

4. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you.

[littlemissmartypants]

2. Prayers Up! ❤

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

5. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Many thanks.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. You and your beloved husband are in my thoughts, my dear Dark n Stormy Knight...

I so hope that all will go well and that you will share many more years of wedded bliss with him!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

8. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

From one coast back to another, I send my gratitude, my dear California Peggy.

[Demovictory9]

6. sending LOTS of good vibes. it will go well

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

10. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you. I strive to believe it will.

[electric_blue68]

7. The best good luck, great team, successful surgery, uncomplicated recovery!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

11. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

That's just what we need. Your good wishes are much appreciated!

[spooky3]

9. I'm sending good vibes to you. Nt

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

13. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Many thanks. Nt.

[babydollhead]

12. sending love and light around you and your husband

breathe in and feel your lungs fill with air. deeply.
breathe out and feel your lungs empty and let it all out with a sigh. right here, right now, peace to you . peace to your husband.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

16. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for that good advice. When I was doing yoga most days of the week, I knew how to breathe that way. So much has fallen away over the past year. Yoga class was one of the things I lost. But one it's possible to get back.

I will close my eyes and think back to being on my mat. I will try to breathe in that calming way.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[questionseverything]

14. 🕯

💐

Good vibes to you and hubby!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

39. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you.

[ShazzieB]

15. Sending prayers, good vibes, etc. from Illinois!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

41. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Much appreciated.

[cayugafalls]

17. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and send all the good vibrations I can muster.

Be kind to yourself. Your love for your husband is an inspiration to all.

Shower him with positivity and love, you are a hero.

Take him in your arms, look him deeply in the eyes and tell him you love him.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Know that you are loved. ❤️❤️

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

40. Your kind words are much appreciated.

And your advice is righteous.

Thank you for taking the time to comfort me and to send good vibes.


❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[salin]

18. Sent.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

42. Thank you.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[blogslug]

19. May all go better than expected.

Good thoughts for you and yours.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

43. I like that wish. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you.

[wyn borkins]

20. Wishing You and KT Most-Positive Energies

I hope for your husband as well as for you that this procedure will be without complication, and that recovery will be speedy and complete.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

44. Those are my wishes as well.

Thanks very much.

[pazzyanne]

21. Adding my prayers for a successful surgery and speedy healing for your husband,

Last edited Tue May 25, 2021, 06:19 AM - Edit history (1)

and prayers for strength and support for you. You have had far more than your fair share of family stressors in the last several months. Please take good care of yourself, dear Dark n Stormy Knight!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

46. Thank you for those kind and comforting words. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I know that many people have hard it even worse over the past year or more and I feel for them and count my blessings. But, I've had a lot of very difficult years--bad case of Lyme disease not least among the difficulties--and I have to say that what doesn't kill us doesn't necessarily make you stronger. Sometimes it just wears you down.

I will try to receive the many prayers, thoughts, vibes, people are sending. I will try to be strong.


❤️❤️❤️

[canetoad]

22. I've just lit

A stick of sandalwood incense for KT. I believe it has various properties, I find the aroma reassuring.

to both of you.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

47. That's wonderful. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I was cleaning out and reorganizing some things recently and came across a couple of old incense burners and wondered where one gets that sort of thing these days. I miss that experience.

Thanks for your support.

[appalachiablue]

23. The best positive vibes and prayers

to you and your dear husband. May all go well and his recovery steady.

With many challenges lately, please try to take care and stay strong as possible. You seem like a real survivor and loving person.

Peace and Hugs at this time.

Let us know how things are when you feel like it.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

48. I don't feel strong and if my dear husband does does not recover,

I honestly don't think I will survive. But, I'll keep your kind words in mind and try to gather strength.


❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[orleans]

24. sending up a prayer to the universe

to keep you safe and well, to help your husband become well and keep him with you.
and to the spirits of those you loved and who love you--to stay with you and keep you strong

we love you. we are with you in our thoughts

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

49. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Your words warm my heart. Thank you for your kindness.

Love and all the best to you.

[AKwannabe]

25. ....

Girl POWER!
💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

50. Awwwww. That made me smile.

Thank you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[SWBTATTReg]

26. My best to you all. My great uncle, survived his bout w/ his prostate cancer and then went on to...

survive and have a wonderful and happy life w/ his loved ones (and me) for quite a few years afterwards (at least 15 years or so) and died from from other causes (in his upper 80s).

[Rhiannon12866]

27. Sending all those powerful and incomparable DU vibes that we've got

I've seen them work miracles here over the years and it's your worthy husband's turn to receive their magic...

[Ka-Dinh Oy]

28. I send good energy to your husband for his surgery.

[SheltieLover]

29. Vibes on the way, Dark! 💗💗💗

Peace to you & hubby, wisdom & guidance for his surgeons & caretakers, and a quick, complete healing for him.

Pleaae keep us posted, as able.

Hugs! 💗🌺

[Beacool]

30. Best of luck to your husband!!!

He'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Hekate]

31. ❤️ to you and KT both

[Fla Dem]

32. Sending, warm healing, supportive, positive and encouraging hugs your way.

You’ve had a difficult period of time within the past year. Take care of yourself, and all the best to your husband that he comes through this latest challenge a winner!
🥰

[FuzzyRabbit]

33. May KT's surgery be as successful as my dad's and my neighbor John.

Both were successful and they each resumed their lives as fully as before.

[DET]

34. Your Husband Should Be Fine

I signed into DU after several years of enjoyable lurking to respond to this thread. Don’t worry, DarknStormy; your husband should be just fine. If your husband is having a prostatectomy, then his PC has presumably not metasticized and is probably still curable. Assuming your husband had a biopsy (standard procedure for a high PSA and/or abnormal manual exam), then you need to ask the surgeon what your husband’s Gleason score is (probably in your case somewhere between six and nine) and his PSA, if you don’t already know it. Hopefully, you’ve also had a bone scan and a CT scan to determine if there are visible metastasis outside of the prostate. PC has a very high cure rate if it is localized; if it has metacized, however, there is at present no cure. But even stage 4 PC can be managed for a relatively long time with proper treatment. It would help if you could clarify what you mean by ‘a particularly nasty case of PC’.

I know that this is a terrifying new world for you, but I would encourage you to educate yourself as much as you can on this disease. There has been tremendous progress in the understanding and treatment of PC just in the last ten years. The standard of care for advanced PC is literally changing as we speak. I hate to say it, but you have to keep on top of this since your doctor may not be. Good luck tomorrow and please keep us posted.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

45. Welcome to DU, DET! And thank you for your loving post.

It means a lot that you signed up just to support Dark N Stormy Night.

I hope that you will find DU a home and a place to talk to like-minded folks.

Again, Welcome!

[DET]

79. Thanks!

Thank you! DU has been a haven from the insanity of the last few years.

[Disaffected]

97. All good advice and, take heart

from a prostatectomy patient of about 15 years ago. As DET mentioned, if they are doing the procedure, the docs believe the PC has not spread outside the gland itself and, if so, the prospects for a cure are very good. If the surgery does not detect any mets, the follow up will be routine PSA tests which will continue to read "Undetectable" if no remaining prostate tissue is present anywhere.

[soldierant]

99. Such great info. I have not been through this,but a friend has,

and I'll pass along advice from her ... try not to laugh if his private parts are discolored. He's suffering enough anyway and needs his dignoty as much as pissible.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

107. Thank you, DET ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I haven't been able to reply to most of the lovely posts here, but they are appreciated. I did want to respond to you in case anyone else is curious about those details.

I said "particularly nasty" to indicate that it's not one of those cute and cuddly cancers so many people seem to have heard about that sit politely in the prostate of a host who dies of something else before it can get up the gumption to cause any real trouble.

KT's Gleason score was determined to be a 9 at the time of the biopsy, which was on March 11th, though he didn't get the results until the follow-up appointment on March 31st. We wanted him to have the surgery almost immediately, but of course it doesn't work that way. So much time for it to have spread between then and now!

History of KT’s PSA Test Results compiled after the fact:
2018-10-03: GP 3.7 Ultrasound & some blood tests ordered. Not to worry, says the doc. Just take FloMax.

2020-11-19: GP's PA 5.7 PA called to order a new glucose test, no mention of the PSA. Grrrrrrr.

We had to find a new GP because that one was switching to a "concierge" model. To continue with his practice, each person would have to pay nearly $2000 annually. That on top of your health insurance premiums, co-pays, etc.

2021-01-07: 5.8 Ordered in late December by our new GP who suggested that more should have been done by our previous GP and strongly recommended KT see a urologist, which led to the biopsy, and the diagnosis.

2021-05-10: Same GP 7.2 ordered upon our request. We were bothered by the fact that in all of the appointments KT had to discuss the stage of the cancer and treatment options, they were going by the PSA from late 2020. Though, as it couldn't speed up his surgery date and only served to alarm us at the increase, we're not sure why we requested it.

Updates on surgery here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215466368

[DET]

108. Live And Learn

I’m so glad your husband’s surgery went well. My husband is a Gleason 9 as well, PSA 77 upon biopsy almost two years ago. It sounds like your husband is another man who ‘slipped through the cracks’ through a combination of doctor incompetence and a disastrous decision by a Government oversight board (US Preventive Services Task Force) to discontinue routine PSA testing for about eight years because - wait for it - it resulted in too many biopsies. The result has been a big increase in men initially presenting with Stage 4 PC, including my husband. The Task Force has finally modified their recommendations to offer men the choice of an annual PSA test. To any men or wives who may be reading this, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have a PSA test as part of your annual physical. If your doctor says don’t bother, then find a new doctor. If he says you’re too young, don’t believe it. I’ve been in contact with a number of men who have Stage 4 PC in their forties. Sadly, the youngest patients seem to have the worst prognosis.

It looks like your husband’s PSA test in 2018 came in just under the limit at which a biopsy is generally recommended. Then it took the doctor two years to order another PSA test, the results of which you apparently were not initially informed, and which should have resulted in a biopsy at the time. Unbelievable. And I am astonished that it took three weeks to inform you of the results of the biopsy.

As you and I are now aware, you have to be proactive when dealing with your doctors. It sounds like you caught the cancer before it spread outside the prostate gland, but Gleason 9 is aggressive. I would imagine you’ll be having frequent blood tests (e.g., every three months), at a minimum. I don’t know the standard of care for localized, high grade PC, but I would think that you will want to be in contact with the most highly rated genitourinary medical oncologist in your area. Urologists are fine for surgery, but they are not great for ongoing care.

One more thing...I fully understand the sheer terror that you are experiencing right now, but it would really help if you could find a way to get it under control (exercise, yoga, antidepressants, etc.), or the stress and anger will literally drive you crazy. In any case, feel free to contact me if you need support. Meanwhile, congrats on a successful surgery!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

109. I hope others will read this.

My husband says he sure wishes he would have been told to get his PSA checked as often as he was reminded to get a colonoscopy. Not to diminish the importance of colonoscopies, but ffs, so are prostate cancer screenings.

I can't recall if I said this earlier here, but I'm the type of person who would have followed up on this if I'd known to. But, after the first elevated PSA, when the ultrasound showed nothing, we were so relieved that the doc said it was basically just a slightly enlarged prostate, not unusual for men past 60, and FloMax would take care of it.

We believe the doctor should have said, Yes, the negative results of the ultrasound is good news, HOWEVER, this is something that we need to be vigilant about and follow up AT LEAST yearly with PSA checks!

As for the three week wait after the biopsy--it was just that it was the soonest appointment available at the closest office to us. And they don't give results over the phone. WHY NOT???!!!

Of course, we didn't know that at the time. My husband is such an optimistic guy that, while he'd have preferred it sooner, he didn't believe the delay was going to turn out to have been a problem. In his sweetly naive way, he said that if he had cancer, surely they would call him. I told him I didn't believe that was the case, but didn't push to say, Why don't you call them and ask about the results (which would have done no good thanks to their stupid policy) or to see if another of their offices could have seen him sooner.

Uncharacteristically, I decided to believe the biopsy would show there was nothing serious going on. The past year or more of very difficult things happening in our lives had me in kind of a daze, and having stopped doing many of the things that helped, like meditation, yoga and other exercise, impaired me in many ways.

I hate to admit this, but I also think I had some stupid belief that the odds of another awful thing happening in our lives were so impossibly low...

Anyway, of course you're right--I do need to get back to the things that helped me manage my stress. And thank you for the suggestion regarding finding a genitourinary medical oncologist for my husband.

Forgive me if I missed it, but I don't think you said if your husband had surgery and/or radiation therapy and how his condition responded to treatment. I hope he's doing well.

[bearssoapbox]

35. Adding more positive energy and prayers for both of you.

[ailsagirl]

36. Best of luck! We're all rooting for you both

[TrollBuster9090]

37. Done!

[a kennedy]

38. Will be sending you and your husband all my positive vibes, prayers and love today......

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[woodsprite]

51. Sending prayers and light to both you and your husband!

For healing, peace, and strength,and guidance for the drs and staff taking care of him.

[LiberalLoner]

52. Prayers coming your way!

🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹

I hope all goes well and he has a speedy recovery!

[electric_blue68]

53. I missed the latter part of your post! My, goodness you've

been through all kinds of hell recently.


An extra dose of )))strengh((( your way, too.

[Demsrule86]

54. Prayers and positive vibes now being sent yours and your husband's way.

I hope all goes well...good hospitals in Philly.

[FeelingBlue]

55. Prayed for him

A few minutes ago. May he be cancer free by noon.

🌺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌺

[spanone]

56. ...

[bobnicewander]

57. My prayers for both

of you have just been added to all the rest that have been sent.

[Bettie]

58. Hoping it all goes well

and he recovers quickly and fully.

[lark]

59. You and your husband just had a prayer said for you.

Hope everything goes well!

[MLAA]

60. Sending love and energy!

💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💞💞💞💞

[momta]

61. Vibes and incantations sent!

Please let us know how goes.

[Duncanpup]

62. Prayers

[lpbk2713]

63. Thinking of you and KT.

And for a full and swift recovery.

[WinstonSmith4740]

64. On it!

Walked in your shoes...positive thoughts coming your way.

[ratchiweenie]

65. I will light a candle for all of them and for you. So sorry for all your sorrow.

[mobeau69]

66. ❤️

[hwmnbn]

67. Absolutely, here you go...

[xxqqqzme]

68. Healing love to your

husband and you.

[benfranklin1776]

69. May the surgery successfully treat it 💙

You definitely deserve some counterbalancing good things to happen after all you’ve been through 🫂

[JPPaverage]

70. As a man with prostate cancer

Here's wishing him all the best. And wishing you and any children, etc. the best as well.
This is supposedly a routine operation, but cancer is nothing to be messed with. Again, best wishes and good vibes to him and you.

[seta1950]

71. My thoughts will be with you

May all that is positive guide the surgeon’s hand, and bless him and your husband.

[Omaha Steve]

72. My best friend

Gets an MRI Thursday to see how bad his prostate cancer is.

Good luck to you.

OS

[Dan]

73. Thoughts and prayers to you and husband.

[BobTheSubgenius]

74. Some kind words and warm, positive thoughs are the very least we can do for anyone, let alone...

...one of our own. Unfortunately, they are also about the best we can manage.

I really wish there was more.

[Heartstrings]

75. Healing vibes sent.......nt

[malaise]

76. Sending good vibes

[Nevilledog]

77. ...

[wendyb-NC]

78. Sending good vibes

for both of you, and lifting him up to the healing, restorative light. Blessings.

[Cha]

80. Best of Healing Energy

for your husband, Dark & Stormy Night! 💙

[chocolatpi]

81. All will go well, thinking positive for the outcome

[Magoo48]

82. May he have peace and good health.

[Magoo48]

83. May he have peace and good health.

[XanaDUer2]

84. Positive thoughts

[Niagara]

85. Sending positive vibes and well wishes to your husband.

[CaptainTruth]

86. Keeping you both in my thoughts...

[Cozmo]

87. Just saw this post, Hope surgery went well and speedy recovery!

[calimary]

88. More positive energy! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

⭐️💐⭐️❤️⭐️🌷⭐️🌞⭐️💪⭐️🌺⭐️🌼⭐️🌈⭐️🌹⭐️

[ancianita]

89. Positive vibes! I hope it goes well. You're overdue for good news.

[crickets]

90. All the best vibes and well wishes in the world

to you and your husband for an uneventful procedure and speedy recovery. ❤️ ❤️

[Unknown Beatle]

91. Prayers and positive vibes...

...kindly sent your way for your husband and for you. May your husband have a full and speedy recovery.

[Nululu]

92. Wishing a speedy recovery

[GoodRaisin]

93. Sending positive energy and the very best of outcomes.

My mom died of pancreatic cancer so I can identify with the place you are in. Best wishes for tomorrow.

[DFW]

94. May the Great Spirit guide the surgeon's hands

It sounds like the Grim Reaper has been paying you a few too many visits of late. I know the feeling. My dad was stricken by prostate cancer at age 70 (beat it) and then with pancreatic cancer at 78 (that time the Reaper won).

I hope your husband survives the battle now and the long road to recovery after. I've been there for both the sorrow and the joy of full recuperation. It sounds like you are due for a happy ending for once. Let this be one of those times.

[stage left]

95. Sending you all the good vibes

In the world. I hope everything went well for you.

[Peregrine Took]

96. I'll include him in my nightly prayers. n/t

[11 Bravo]

98. Good thoughts and prayers headed your way.

I had a prostatectomy a couple of years ago (also cancer), and I'm 100% today. I pray you and your husband have a similar outcome. (Also, knowing that he"s having surgery within two months of the diagnosis is a very positive thing.)

[barbtries]

100. I'm late and hoping it went very well

[AwakeAtLast]

101. Sending love and hugs

Wishing h a good procedure and a great recovery!

[spanone]

102. Had this surgery last October...robotic. I'm good. He will be too.

[Naio]

103. Hoping everything is well

sending 🙏 prayers.

[phylny]

104. I'm late here, just wanted to let you know my husband had the same operation and

is doing great about 9 years after. His cancer was quite bad - doctor told him if it hadn't been caught, he'd die within two years - and the operation was successful and he is well.

My best to your husband and to you.

[raging moderate]

105. Sending hugs and prayers to you both! Hang in there!

[applegrove]

106. Sending you vibes.