A plea for sympathy

[RoccoRyg]

I've been reading a lot of hateful, disgusting posts about this Amanda Todd incident on Facebook. People have been calling her terrible things and saying she deserved to die, and it was her choice and therefore not their problem. Isn't this lack of compassion for other human beings what caused the tragedy in the first place?

Hating on a teenager who committed suicide does not make you sound smart, witty or political incorrect. It makes you sound like a thoughtless, self-centered child.

People are spreading the word about this situation as an example of the psychological effects of bullying on children. It is a terrible thing and thoughtful people want to reduce it to save lives. Amanda Todd was just another tragic story out of hundreds of thousands. Nobody is trying to deify her as a martyr or anything, they just want to make other children think twice about treating others miserably. I don't understand why that is controversial or why anyone would be against it.

Let's come together as members of the human race and practice empathy and humility for each other. Be an example to the rest of your species. The least you can do is care.

[sabrina 1]

1. Nice post, welcome to DU RoccoRyg

I don't know if the heartlessness we are seeing now was always this way or if we are just noticing it more, or if our wars have made people more immune to the destruction of life, but it really is disturbing that even after the death of a young teenager like this, the cruelty doesn't stop.

I appreciate your compassion and thank you for writing this OP.

RIP Amanda!

[RKP5637]

4. I noticed after the wars started with Bush that a hardness seemed to settle in ... In this

area all of the supposed manly-men started wearing camouflage outfits all over the place and some acted like asses. And I noticed an air of cruelty and favorable feelings for destruction of life and property.

[sabrina 1]

5. Yes, I noticed that also where I lived for a while. All the flags waving, the yellow ribbons

the 'tough' talk about 'killing ragheads' etc. It was disgusting and now a generation has grown up just accepting the killing of human beings as if it was normal. Our media dehumanizes the victims, we never see stories here of the mothers in Iraq who lost their children, or the children who lost their parents. All we see are statistics about how many troops are there or whatever. We don't even see much about the impact of these wars on our own troops. So it's all been sanitized, yet people know human beings are dying. But they don't react to it at all in any normal way. It's as if we are all traumatized.

Edited to add, the flags are all gone and you don't see any yellow ribbons anymore. And many of the troops we were told were heroes, are now forgotten, many of them homeless and/or disabled and more of a burden now than anything else. As we saw when Alan Simpson told them they should not be collecting their benefits as they are 'not helping the country' the way they were when they in Iraq. Iow, 'you're only useful when you are fighting for our profits, when you can't do that anymore, we'd like you to disappear please'. It has made people very cynical I think.

[RKP5637]

6. Yep, it's all kept out of sight, out of mind, as HUGE MIC profits roll into

the profiteers.

[patrice]

2. Let''s take a stand for love.

[freshwest]

7. +1

[RKP5637]

3. I'm at a loss to understand why people would hate a bullied suicide victim, other than they are

bullies and tormentors. In my lifetime I've watched the asshole count increase and increase. Often, I'm pretty disgusted with my fellow humans. And I've watched the STUPID count increase and increase.

[whathehell]

8. Amen.

I don't even know THIS particular story, but I've heard so many others -- these poor kids

committing suicide...I'm a baby boomer, and freaking A...I don't remember ANY kid doing this when

I was a teenager. I mean, I'm sure it happened, but it was incredibly RARE...What the hell has happened to people, especially

young people?...How could ANYONE be so callous as to "hate on" a young kid that's already paid the price?

I feel like I'm living in some sort of "horror movie" version of the world I grew up in.

FWIW: For anyone who ever saw the great BBC series of the 1970's "I, Claudius", there is a scene in which

the mother of Claudius expresses complete disgust with her present society by saying: "I grew up in a world of

PEOPLE and feel now that I'm living in a kennel of dogs". That's how I feel.

[jillan]

13. Here- you should see this to keep her and other people in her situation in your heart forever.

[whathehell]

14. You realize that this isn't just about "bullying", it's about The double standard, misogyny,

Mean Boys or "Let's pick on the girl ('slut' "whore&quot whatever and it IS hideous.

I have one big "thought", or "epiphany" out of this and I hope you will read it

through before leaping to conclusions.

When I was growing up in the sixties, teenage girls, by and large, did not

"go all the way"...In fact, they were generally VERY careful..It was a whole reputation thing, okay?...Now, I'm not

saying that was all great, BUT what's happening NOW, it seems, is there is

this ILLUSION of "sexual freedom" "hooking up", "sexual revolution", blah blah

but nothing has really CHANGED in that the BOYS are still USING, Exploiting and then

JUDGING these girls, ala The Double Standard, EXACTLY like they did in my day!...The only DIFFERENCE is,

in my day we kind of KNEW not to trust boys and had pretty rigid "rules" and

yes, I know that sounds oh so fifties, but guess what?


these kids apparently have the SAME double-standard "rules" for PUNISHING these girls,

but they are just bullshitting themselves and their "girls"

that they don't. These poor girls have been led to BELIEVE that all that is gone -- The judging

the "slut shaming" and the Fucking DOUBLE STANDARD and it's NOT -- obviously!

The FACT is, generally speaking, you just can NOT trust a teenage boy when you are a teenage girl.

The concept of "the slut" still holds, sadly enough and the idea that YOU are demeaned by sex,

but he is NOT, and in THIS case, it's coming down even MEANER and HARDER

I'm SO glad that I don't have kids, especially teen girls

but I feel TERRIBLE for the poor kids.

If there was one thing I would tell a teen girl if I had one is do NOT trust a teenage boy with PICTURES

of you in ANY state of nudity, and, in fact, be very wary of trusting him with any physical

intimacy at ALL!

This is just fucking tragic.

[defacto7]

15. You've got a good point.

The world of growing up has become so complicated with media 90% of the day and standards or mal-standards hitting teens from all angles. It was easier to say no back then, but now, sometimes, there is no answer that works when the media tells them they have to be a certain way, and unreasonable moral standards tell you another. It's tough. and it is tragic.

[whathehell]

17. Thanks.

I know what you are saying about life being more complicated now, and I don't want to demonize

teenage boys, but you know what?...The ugly "double standard" has remained the same. Most kids

that age can't really handle sexuality, in my view, and if I had a kid today, I would be VERY careful.

[Blue_Tires]

21. +1

[RKP5637]

18. I'm about the same age. Growing up we really never heard of kids committing suicide. I remember

kids getting picked on some, but nothing to push them to suicide, and if that had happened our community would have been really distraught. People in our community used to pull together to help each other. Today, it's a totally alien world, I really have trouble wrapping my head around it ... Sometimes I hear/see things going on and I remark to someone, you know, this reminds me of the scifi horrific future we used to talk about, but not as reality ... and today it is reality. I have many WTF moments today. Your DU name sums up well what I often think, "whathehell!"

[whathehell]

20. Yes, thanks for that confirmation.

Bullying? -- Absolutely. I was bullied as a young teen, but I wouldn't even have CONSIDERED suicide, and neither

would anyone I knew.

The big increase in teen suicides seemed to start in th '80s with Gen X, and I don't know why -- It must have

SOMETHING to do with societal changes, probably a LOT, but I'm not sure what they'd be. It might be

a great project for a sociologist.

"Whathehell"?....I never thought it out consciously, but the fact that I SO often feel that way, is

probably why I picked it. Thanks for your observations.

[Scootaloo]

10. They think it makes them look "hard."

And a dead teenager makes an easy target for that.

[LeftInTX]

9. It's sad. So sad.

Bullying is just awful and it keeps getting worse.

Kids who get involved with things over their head, then are brutalized for it.

I feel bad for this young woman.

[mykpart]

11. Children learn bullying from watching adults.

And I see more adults these days who think it's acceptable to ridicule anyone with whom they don't agree. That's why politics has become so nasty.

[RKP5637]

19. That's a good analysis. Today, many adults are stupid asses and make crappy role models. And in

congress, and many political positions, we have stupid asses and crappy role models.

[jillan]

12. That is such a heartbreaking story. I don't understand how anyone can say anything bad about her

after all that beautiful young girl had been thru.

[defacto7]

16. Where does all the evil come from?

Where do these children learn to be ugly, mean, hurtful and arrogant?

I can surmise a lot of answers... but none seem right.