father pulls up trailer and dumps 80,000 in pennies on lawn as final child support payment

[Demovictory9]

What mom and daughter did with 80,000 penny child support payment
A mother and daughter turned a negative into a positive after donating 80,000 pennies left on their front lawn by the father as the final child support payment. CNN affiliate WTVR reports

https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2021/06/09/mother-and-daughter-donate-80000-pennies-child-support-pkg-vpx.wtvr

support' pennies dumped outside home

After Avery Sanford's father dumped 80,000 pennies in her front lawn for her final child support payment, she and her mother decided to donate the money to those in need.


https://www.wtvr.com/news/local-news/mother-daughter-donate-thousands-of-dumped-pennies-to-domestic-abuse-center
RICHMOND, Va. -- One Richmond family got a shocking delivery last month when 80,000 pennies were dumped on their front lawn. Now, they're using the money to help those in need.

"I just turned 18. When I was in the middle of class, my dad came by. He had rented a trailer," Avery Sanford, a Deep Run High School senior, said. "He pulled up in front of the house and turned the trailer on so it dumped out all the pennies on the grass and my mom came out and was like, 'What are you dumping in my yard?' She didn't know who it was until he shouted, 'It's your final child support payment."

The act had an impact on the teenager.



"It's not just my mom he's trying to embarrass, it's also me and my sister and it's upsetting that he didn't consider that before he did that," Sanford said.

Once the pennies were picked up, Sanford and her mom decided to turn a bad situation into a positive one.

Every penny of Avery's last child support payment will be donated to Safe Harbor, a domestic abuse center.

[ProfessorGAC]

1. Dick Move-Happy Ending

Be happier if the guy got ticketed for trespassing & littering.

[TheBlackAdder]

21. This is why CS is paid through a state agency in NJ--enforces payment & removes all bullshit.

[LiberalFighter]

25. I would think all states require payments thru the state.

At least here in Indiana last I knew. It avoids claims of one parent not paying when they do.

[Xipe Totec]

106. In MA it isn't required, unless there's an issue

If you start acting like a jerk you get hammered. But you begin with a rebuttable presumption of good will and fair play.

I've been paying alimony for ten years, one more year left to go. I pay direct to my ex's banking account. There has never been an issue.

[ProfessorGAC]

27. Same In IL

I just looked it up after I saw your reply.
A state agency for disbursements contacts the payor's employer and sets up a direct deduction to the agency.
Then the agency pays the custodial parent by check or DD.
Probably the same in NJ.
That seems a wise process.

[Grins]

62. This should be an alert to the state of Virginia

Virginia needs the same. So make and pass a law. Name the law after this jerk, too. Just piss him off and ridicule him to everyone he knows.

[PatSeg]

78. Gee, I wonder why that marriage didn't last

Could he have been any pettier?

[Sherman A1]

2. The Dad is truly

the south end of a north bound horse. I paid all my child support payments on time even after the adopted daughter unit was past 18 and not in college. Eventually the attorney did get a portion of that back for me, but not all of it.

[ck4829]

3. This is what you do to debt collectors and whoever killed Nataline Sarkisyan, not your daughter.

Critical Race Theory

[Demovictory9]

6. two daughters whom he hasn't had contact with for years

[Bucky]

4. Sure this can be handled with a contempt of court charge

That's just $800.

The truck rental probably cost more than that. Of course, that girl and her mom should not be embarrassed. That hateful little "dad" should be.

[monkeyman1]

12. nope !! legal tender . I did same thing as per judge !!!

[LizBeth]

16. You did the same and brag about it? Or am I not understanding your post, surely?

[monkeyman1]

37. not bragging - just what the judge told as legal ! it was stupid on my part.

[JudyM]

81. You dumped a trailer load of pennies on your ex's front lawn?

This is a thing??

[Treefrog]

85. Wow.

That’s a fucked up thing to do.

[Treefrog]

86. I don't think I'd every admit such a thing to anyone. Not that I'd ever do anything so tool-like.

But here you are admitting it for all to see. Wtf?

[LakeArenal]

19. See comment #5

[WarGamer]

5. A Merriam-Webster definition of "Dooshbag"??

[questionseverything]

7. Funny part is,at least in Illinois he would still owe the last payment

Because cash is a “gift”

[Demovictory9]

8. ..and anyone could have picked up those pennies off the street

[Hassin Bin Sober]

32. Yep. I would have left them there and contact the court looking for payment.

Let him explain to the judge what he did with the money. I’m sure the judge would yuck it up with him before he hit him for the payment, late fees, court costs, and attorney fees.


Maybe I would grab a shovel at midnight for what would be a bonus

[TheBlackAdder]

23. Same in NJ. Probation handles all CS payments, anything outside of that doesn't count.

.

Parties are advises NOT to make direct payments.

.

[BGBD]

54. I was going to ask

Doesn't the payment need to go through some official type of process to be verified?

I couldn't imagine that the court just trusts both parties to always be honest about both paying and receiving the money considering how hateful divorces sometimes get.

[LanternWaste]

9. Bless his petulant, little heart.

I'm guessing he's one of those 'the-dice-are-always-stacked-against-men' kinda men.

Tough old world when ya gotta pay your dues.

[wryter2000]

89. She got the goldmine, and I got the shaft

I met my husband while he was in the process of getting a divorce. I told him early on I wasn't interested in hearing negative things about her because it would only make me wonder what he might say about me someday. He stopped immediately.

[gratuitous]

10. Vasectomies are cheaper than child support

And young Avery seems a lot better adjusted than the spoiled brat sperm donor (he's clearly not father material).

[druidity33]

29. Covered by Health Insurance! Totally free! nt.

[PortTack]

11. That guy isn't a father...he was just a sperm donor

[mac2766]

13. Most certainly the guy is a dic!head, but

This is an issue that really should be looked at quite a bit more closely.

The child support system makes for some very angry people. Yes... no doubt that both parents need to be held responsible for the well-being of a child. There is absolutely no question about that.

It may be time that we, as an entire village, take a closer look at what it takes to raise a child.

But... again... this particular father seems to have acted much like a dick, or an asshole, or whatever superlative you would like to insert into that sentence instead of dick or asshole, or dic!head.

[Caliman73]

83. What issue should be looked at more closely.

Child support? Custody? Some other thing?

Everything makes some people very angry, but there can not be a discussion without knowing what we are discussing.

My ex, was not a good partner or parent for some time before we separated. Perhaps she was going through some things. I attempted to do various things to salvage the relationship, but she was not interested in being married or being a mother for some time. She left my son and I for awhile. I went to several lawyers who told me that I could petition for visitation every Wednesday and 2 weekends a month. This after I told them that I had sole custody because she had been gone for weeks. Now, we can have a discussion about why the assumption was made that I as a father should be content with that custody arrangement after establishing that we had been abandoned by the ex.

Eventually, I drew up the dissolution documents with a shared custody arrangement where I maintained primary physical custody, because I maintained a stable home. There was an agreement on the expenses for my son, which I paid almost entirely myself, and any marital assets and debts.

What people need to realize is that your relationship to your children, while involving the other parent, is separate. Children should NEVER be used as pawns to hurt, or gain some type of advantage over an ex. I never bad mouthed my ex to my son and encouraged him to maintain a relationship with her. When she got it together, came back to town, and had a stable place to live, when my son was 13 and I was asked if custody could be 50/50, I asked him what he really wanted and spoke to the ex making sure that he'd be taken care of, then agreed to do it. It hurt like heck not having my son around all the time, but parenting is about the child not the parent.

What it takes to raise a child is a parent that is committed to loving their child no matter who the other parent is. A parent who understands that you are working towards a day when that child will want to leave home and start their own life independent of you. Your willingness to give them the skills, and prepare them and encourage them to explore in preparation for that day, without guilt, even knowing that it will break your heart and you will worry about them. You need to let them have relationships with people, even people you don't like, and you have to be there to help with the hurt from those relationships without judgment and without vilifying the other parent. My son knows my flaws, and he knows his mother's flaws, and he loves us both despite those flaws, and I am okay with that even if I personally would have nothing more to do with his mother, were he not around.

[Neema]

93. That's because you are a good person and a good father.

The guy in this story is clearly neither of these. Even if the ex-wife was awful to him, the child support money is for his CHILDREN, and he just made them feel like they weren't worthy of his support or his love. That's unforgivable.

[Caliman73]

95. 100%

I am not saying that I never felt negative feelings toward my ex. Oh man, there were times when I wanted to punish her for disrupting our lives like she did.

Thing is, I know that punishing her would also be punishing our son. It would be making him choose a side in what is strictly, a problem between two adults. I knew there were already going to be consequences for him, no matter how amicably we could make the split. It is just sad that other people can't understand that.

It is unforgivable.

[mac2766]

101. As with all things, each set of circumstances are completely different.

I have several friends who have divorced with children. Each of their situations were different. Luckily, I'm one of the small percentage who lives happily with my spouse, so I suppose I'm an armchair quarterback, but friends are friends and their situations draw compassion from me. Another thing that has formed my opinions is that I was orphaned at an early age and had a very poor childhood. My wish is that no child go through what I went through.

Some of my divorced friends are men, and some are women. I've lived in 3 states and have made friends in all 3 states - Indiana, Georgia, and Florida. Each state handles divorce and custody in different ways. I have friends who have been hobbled by divorce. Two, in particular in Georgia, had to take a 2nd full time job to take care of their responsibilities. I do agree that it is a responsibility, but I believe in their cases, the requirements were so huge that the persons were left feeling anger instead of parental responsibility. They ended up relying on friends and family for their personal support, while having to generate an extreme amount of money to assist their ex's and children. In a different situation, my friend happened to be a woman living in Florida. She insisted on handling things with her husband and ignored the court ordered child support. That family remains very happy with one another and the child is exceptional. Their personal agreement allows for every need the child has. They take turns, share responsibility, communicate in such a way that any monetary, social, or emotional need can be handled either individually or together. They have both re-married and are very fine people each on their own. They are very strong parents and take excellent care of their daughter. Maybe they are the exception, but wouldn't it be nice if they were the norm? I'm sure that is a pipe dream. I can't imagine that every divorced couple can over-come the issues that lead to the divorce in the first place.

I hate to hear that your situation was a bad one. I wish it hadn't been. The point of my response was that we, as a collective group of people, owe it to the children today to make sure that they have the best upbringing as they possibly can. If that means changing the current set of rules in a state to include a more modern look at child support, then that should be the case.

Again, each specific situation needs to be looked at as an individual situation. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.

And again, being an armchair quarterback gives me the luxury of speculation. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect, and I wish you well.

[shrike3]

104. I have also encountered men (so far they've all been men) who obsess on the idea that a single penny

should not pass through the exes' hands. Children need a roof over their head. They need the lights on. One fellow actually had the temerity to suggest that child support should go into a trust that the child can access when he or she is over eighteen. Meaning that the custodial parent bears the entire cost of raising a child. That's how obsessive people get.

That said, I have also seen women obsess on how much money their exes and go back to court for more support if they see the ex driving a new car. My late BIL had a hefty support payment, and found a second job so he could pay his own bills. His ex took back him back to court to get a chunk of those earnings and won. It was as though she was punishing him. She was remarried, she and her children were not destitute. But she had to get her hands on still more money. The ex-wife of my husband's coworker tried to get "spies," to see if he had any new toys, motorcycles, whatever. If he did, she'd take him back to court. Sad.

[Caliman73]

107. No offense taken. My experience was not great but by no means as bad as some.

A preempted sorry to all attorneys out there, but there is a saying that one should never allow divorce to get into the hands of a divorce lawyer or the court system. I know that sometimes it is inevitable but it should be avoided if at all possible.

It becomes an adversarial situation. In California, at least when I was going through my divorce, you had to wait a minimum of 6 months from the filing, to when you started the process of status hearings. That time allowed me to formulate the dissolution agreement. While I was still upset at the situation, it certainly allowed me to focus on my relationship with my son, and it allowed the anger to subside which allowed me to draw up as equitable a plan as possible.

I am sure if you ask my ex, she'll have a different version of events, but from my perspective, neither of us were ready for marriage and parenthood, but I grew into the role a lot faster and was ready be married and a father for the rest of my life. She had doubts and acted on those doubts. As I said, our relationship and personal problems were in no way, the fault of our child. My goal was to make sure that he got the least amount of fallout from the situation.

I have no ill will toward my ex at this point. She met another man years after our divorce and he is a decent man and has been a good step dad to my son and provided stability. At this point I am indifferent about what happened in our relationship.

[panader0]

14. This single dad received child support payments every month for years.

[NNadir]

15. It is a privilege to be a father, and regrettably, for this asshole, he never learned that.

He clearly has no idea what he missed.

When the old bitter fart dies, may he do it alone.

[csziggy]

18. I was thinking, this guy is the type to look up his daughter

Only when he needs someone to change his diapers in his dotage.

If I were her, I would legally disown him so there is no legal connection that could ever be invoked.. She can't do anything about the biological connection, but she can sever every other type.

[pazzyanne]

17. Wonderful example of turning lemons into lemonade. Kudos to them!

Boo to the sperm donor.

[catbyte]

20. Wow. That's one a-hole who deserves to die alone.

[luckone]

22. I feel sorry for his kids that witnessed it

Their father is an asshole I hope they work through this and can stick together and move on successfully . The penny donation shows they can use bad starts to make good endings

[Prof. Toru Tanaka]

80. The son is showing more maturity and class than the father.

Doing things like this can stick with a son or daughter for a long time. Arguing or being petty over money can result in a lifetime of discord.

[FlyingPiggy]

24. one of these days he's going to realize he lost something far more valuable than money (& honor)...

that he swindled all his time on earth with the people that SHOULD have mattered the most to him: his kids.

[Historic NY]

26. I would have checked them over..

Karma says they could have had a few valuable ones in the batch

[relayerbob]

44. Yep, I was thinking the same thing

That many pennies ... bound to a bunch in there worth more than 1 cent. And maybe a few nuggets

[phylny]

28. Years ago a woman I knew named "Linda" wrote out her husband's child support check for

her stepdaughter and counted down the number of support payments left until the child turned 18 by writing in the memo: "Five more to go," "Four more to go," etc. She was so angry that her husband, who was married and had this daughter way before he ever met Linda, fulfilled his obligation to his first child. She could not wait to have that $500 a month!

I always thought it was petty and disgusting.

[Demovictory9]

31. that is petty. she should be proud that he fulfills his obligation to provide for his child

[onetexan]

67. not surprising there are spouses who resent their spouses for paying child support, sadly

In a divorce where young children are involved (innocent party caught in a bad situation), if the parties aren't adult enough to split amicably it scars the children, sometimes for life. If that spouse ends up with a partner who resents his/her spouse from their parental duty to the child it's asinine, hurtful & selfish but i've seen it happen too often this is the case.

[LiberalFighter]

30. I'm guessing the guy will have to pay that $800 again.

I don't see paying cash as an option for child support payments.

[former9thward]

51. The mother accepted the payment.

He is through with his obligations.

[LiberalFighter]

57. Not if it is not the legal way to pay.

I could not pay directly to the mother and the mother could not pay directly to me when there was child support. I don't see cash as a method in the state of Virginia.

[former9thward]

58. Once the mother accepts the payment it is over.

She could have refused assuming she was not supposed to be paid directly. You can't take someone's money and then complain it is not the accepted way to do it and then ask for another payment. The law says you get one bite at the apple.

[Moosepoop]

73. Wrong.

From the Virginia DCSE (Division of Child Support Enforcement) FAQ section

https://www.dss.virginia.gov/family/dcse/faq.cgi

Q: Should payments be made directly to the payee?

A: No. Once you have received directions to pay through DCSE, any payments made directly to the payee and not through the State's Disbursement Unit are considered gifts and will not be credited to your official payment record.

(Bolding mine)

So the guy would be officially "in arrears" until he paid up -- yes, again -- through the system.

Besides, she didn't "accept payment" -- it was dumped outside her home without her prior knowledge or permission. She filed a police report over it.

[former9thward]

74. She took the money and used it for a donation.

She did not refuse it. But think what you want. He is not paying anything else.

[Moosepoop]

75. It doesn't matter what I think.

The DCSE apparently considers the $800 in pennies a gift and nothing else. His declaring it a child support payment is immaterial. But think what you want.

[kcr]

79. What is so hard. It doesn't matter whether she refused it.

You can think what you want. It's plain English. It's considered a gift.

[Prof. Toru Tanaka]

82. As petty and spiteful as this was I have to agree.

While donating the pennies was a truly noble gesture, the fact that she gathered them up and donated them shows she accepted it.

Somehow, I don't think the mother is going to press for another payment. The children saw what happened and they know that their father is wrong for doing it. The father is likely going to find out down the road that he paid a far higher price for his spitefulness than he thought.

If he has to repay the $800 however, I would be very happy to be proven wrong on my first statement. In the long run what benefits the children is what truly matters, not who is right or wrong.

[inthewind21]

94. Doesn't matter

What you THINK should be the case and what ACTUALLY IS the case are two very different things. Many, if not all States have statements, usually in bold, right there in the order that says, if you pay directly it's a gift nothing other than what is sent to and registered with ___agency is recognized.. Period. So no, because it's accepted does not negate the very clear legal language. No matter what you THINK should be the case. Try arguing that stance in court and see how far it gets.

[Prof. Toru Tanaka]

97. Did you read the last sentence of my post? If not,

Take your anger someplace else as I merely expressed an opinion.

[irisblue]

33. local TV station...." emotions over came me"

source-https://www.wftv.com/news/trending/virginia-family-donates-80k-child-support-pennies-dumped-home/CIVREBV52JDDPPNCTCRAFRWUZ4/#:~:text=A%20Virginia%20family%20had%2080%2C000%20of%20them%20to%20deal%20with.&text=When%20a%20man%20dumped%2080%2C000,gesture%20into%20a%20loving%20one.

snip--"Sanford’s father told WTVR in a telephone interview that his actions were a result of years of built-up frustration, and he admitted his emotions overcame his judgment.

The man, who was not identified by the television station, said the last thing he wanted to do was drive a wedge between himself and his daughter.

Sanford did not appreciate her father’s two cents on the matter. Or any of them.

“It’s really hurtful and damaging to your kids when you do things like that,” Sanford told WTVR. “It doesn’t matter if they’re young or an adult, the actions of your parents will always have some effect on you.”

[onecaliberal]

34. What a *&ck move.

[70sEraVet]

35. I've got two terrific step children, now in their mid-forties

Their dad was like the father in that story. You know what? I have grandchildren! He doesn't have squat!
That's what a load of pennies bought him!

[luckone]

42. ++ What a great story and great kids Now grandkids too. What is wrong with some people ?

[Jeebo]

36. What does "CRIME INISDER" mean?

Somebody translate that for me, please.

-- Ron

[former9thward]

60. A graduate of the modern journalism school.

[SergeStorms]

38. What a despicable piece of garbage.

That "father" is a monumental asshole. I despise sperm donors like him. He chose to marry the woman, and he chose to procreate. He's mad because things didn't work out the way he had them pictured in his imagination. Well, they seldom do, but you still take responsibility for your actions.

I hope he never gets to see his two generous, wonderful kids again, or the woman who he married and bore his children. They're lucky to be rid of that selfish asshole.

I'm glad she could afford to donate the money to an organization that will protect women and children from dangerous, heartless bastards like her ex.

[BigmanPigman]

61. Hear, hear!!!

[titanicdave]

39. ....That Is Something....

......that is hard to fathom what is going through a person's mind.........

[Carlitos Brigante]

40. This guy deserves the "republican Father Of the Year Award". nt

[lunatica]

96. Qdaddy medal?

[IrishAfricanAmerican]

41. What an asshole!

[Ferrets are Cool]

43. ...

Douche

[Aviation Pro]

45. Scumbag had an $800 support payment for two kids?

Fucker shouldn’t come within sniffing distance of his kids ever again. Total fuckwit.

[former9thward]

52. The article does not give the age of the sister.

She may have been older.

[Orrex]

46. On the bright side, his kids will never have to wonder if their sperm donor is a fucking asshole

[Demobrat]

47. Well he sure showed them

how lucky they are he’s not part of their lives.

[Throck]

48. He's clearly a changed man.

[twodogsbarking]

68. That was good,

very good.

[Bucky]

88. They should've called the coppers on him

Hopefully he's "in for a pound"-ing

[Jon King]

49. We have no idea how he was treated by the mother.....

I have had friends where the mother treated the father like garbage the entire time, cheated on him, then collected child support, spent much of it on new boyfriends, and on and on.

The FACT is we have zero clue whether this guy is a scumbag or whether for many years the mother lied to the kids about him and was really the horrible one.

He did an stupid thing of course because it affected the kids.....but was it because he is just a POS or because he was tormented for any years by an evil person.

And we will never know. 2 years from now he may have the best relationship with the girls since they are now 18 and can make more decisions....and they may learn the mother was lying the entire time. Again....we have no clue the truth or even how this turns out in the future.

[JI7]

53. Who cares ? As the article says it's about the kids, not the mother.

[Aviation Pro]

55. Except the kids did the right thing and donated the money

To a worthy cause.

Although circumstantial that is pretty good evidence that Ole Dad is a fucking asshole.

Probably a MAGAh too.

[obamanut2012]

69. Who cares

And, it really is an MRA move to say the mom "wastes" her money. So, you need new friends. They are liars.

The custodial parent can spend the money on whatever the hell they want. As long as it isn't illegal drugs or similar, big deal.

This dude in the OP? So what IF his ex was awful, who cares? That has zip to do with support and his kids.

[treestar]

76. Yet there is no proof of that, either

He's the one who had no contact with the children.

And the spending money on boyfriends things is what they all say - it's boring. No one sees that. You'd need an accounting or at least the allegation that the kids did not get the basics. She can spend the rest of her income how she wants. He's not in control of how she spends it. That tends to be what bother them.

[hadEnuf]

50. Really trying to impress his kids, eh?

What an asshole

Did he have a MAGA hat on too?

[homegirl]

56. Would be

Deadbeat Dad failed to realize that these two young women may be the one's who will select the nursing home he will end his days in.

[Tiger8]

59. How "Trumpian" of him

This reminds me of Trump advising men to get a "prenup" agreement to screw the woman should they seek greener pastures.

[southerncrone]

63. Hopefully, the kids take after their mother and not their scumbag dad.

This is a selfish asssshole who cares nothing about his children, only himself.

[HiramWisdom]

64. Sounds like some bad blood between the two

That's sad.

[COL Mustard]

65. That Dad Sounds Like A Real Asshole

I can see why he’s divorced.

[raccoon]

66. FatherDay is coming up. This fool should be father of the year--NOT. Nt

[wryter2000]

87. They should dump a bunch of pennies on his lawn for a present

Sounds like they're too classy to do that.

[louis-t]

70. Why would someone embarrass their kids like that?

Jeez.

[mucifer]

71. Kudos to the mom for the donation and free advertisement for the Women's Shelter!

[eggplant]

72. Bad headline. "80,000 *in* pennies" is not the same as 80,000 pennies.

If someone wants to dump $80k in my yard in pennies, I certainly won't complain.

[treestar]

77. Odd that there is no photo of the original pile

After he made the dump.

[Bucky]

90. (applause)

well played

[SpankMe]

84. Men are assholes

I ought to know. I'm a man, and kind of an asshole.

[Bucky]

91. Lawn mowing season: Safety wise, they DO need to go over that lawn with a metal detector

A penny could be thrown out with some serious velocity next time that lawn is mown.

It could crack a neighbor's window... or do worse.

[Hassler]

92. Where does one get 80K in pennies?

[treestar]

99. Yes, what bank would do that?

Or would one bank even have that many? Wonder if he collected them it over a long period of time?

[Ilsa]

98. Someone raised that girl well.

He was privileged to be the father of a wonderful daughter. Now he has carried the weight of his bitterness into public view.

[Mike Nelson]

100. Hmm...

... 80,000 in pennies? That can't be $80,000 per month - maybe a settlement? Or did they mean it without the "in" - as in 800.00 in pennies... well, if the former, then they must all be very wealthy. If the latter, cheers to the young woman and her mom!

[Texin]

102. Contentious divorce? What a jerk move. Now the whole neighborhood knows!

As well as millions on the internet. Probably another one of those *pro-life* retrumplicans.

[RANDYWILDMAN]

103. Don't embarrass your kids !!

Really great lesson, I wish my Dad had learned when I had to go to court to fight him for our child support money.


I will never do anything like that to my kids, because i'm the adult and know better.

Come on Dad be a human, know better....be better

[Warpy]

105. That last line shows how full of shit that man is

My guess is he's another narcissist who thught he was being really slick, ha ha ha,

Good for the daughter for getting his number at such a young age.

[kimbutgar]

108. I don't think those daughters will want him to walk them down the aisle when they get married

Someday.

What a terrible father and jerk. And ironically unless he has remarried who’d date a guy who did that?