52 yrs. of marriage - divorced to pay medical bills for husband

[packman]

[Dorian Gray]

1. oof

[Trueblue1968]

2. sooooooooooooooo sad. makes me cry.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

3. Advertising something like this on the internet seems very ill-advised (nt)

[Klaralven]

5. True, even though it was 3 years ago and the situation may have changed.

[NYC Liberal]

6. Fortunately it isn't real. The only search result for the tweet text is on iFunny

(A meme site). Twitter user doesn’t exist.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

8. Well, I'm glad to hear this ... (nt)

[unblock]

9. Ok. Not that I'd call it funny...

[NYC Liberal]

20. It's basically an image hosting site, so anyone can upload any kind of image there.

But yes, it isn't funny...

[femmedem]

11. Thank you! I appreciate your fact-checking.

This gives me some insight into how right-wingers fall for propaganda because I didn't question it when I read it--even though I usually notice when something doesn't link to a reputable (or any) source.

[MustLoveBeagles]

16. Thanks for the factchecking

This particular story may be bogus but stuff like this happens all the time for real.

[spooky3]

18. I agree. I know of another couple who did this. Nt

[MustLoveBeagles]

22. My husband and I considered doing this

We thought it would help us save money when filing our taxes. Things weren't going well for us financially at this time and losing our house was a real possibility. We were even selling some of our possessions to pay bills. Fortunately he got a state job in the nick of time and I got one too 6 months later. This plus my dad left me some money in his will the bulk of which was put into savings. All this happened a few years before the pandemic hit. I don't want to know what would've happened to us if we hadn't gotten those jobs. We're not rich by any means but we're doing okay. We really lucked out.

[spooky3]

24. I am so glad that things turned around for you.

Terrible to have to deal with that stress.

Our health care system desperately needs overhaul.

[NYC Liberal]

19. Absolutely. That's why it's (sadly) not unbelievable at all!

[ShazzieB]

28. Yes, and it's REALLY sad and REALLY wrong that it ever has to happen at all.

[unblock]

7. Especially with all the details

Length of marriage, exact date divorce was finalized, her relation to the divorced couple, what appears to be her real name and face and perhaps year of birth, and of course statement that it was a fraudulent attempt to evade debt collection.

I have much sympathy for them in their situation. The way medical care is paid for in this country is borderline barbaric. Maybe straight up barbaric, at least in some cases.

But with the laws as they stand, yeah, that post might backfire big time.

[unblock]

4. She may regret putting this on the internet where a collector might find it...

[LiberatedUSA]

39. Why?

Is divorce illegal if someone is close to death? I mean it is or it isn’t. What someone says or doesn’t say after the legal papers have been signed and sealed doesn’t change that. Does the trust somehow get negated because someone else doesn’t like the reasons.

I mean if you are a collector, why bother even waiting for reasons, if you can easily by-pass those kinds of agreements. Just treat every divorce as if it was to hide the cash and go after them anyway.

[unblock]

40. A few things:

First, I am not a lawyer

Second, this particular case appears to be fictional, though it is a scenario that no doubt my actually happens.

Third, no doubt it depends on state law and probably how much time passes from divorce to death to legal action by collectors or the courts

There are two possible problems. One is that the divorce may have required a statement saying it was to avoid debt collection. So this sort of post could lead to a perjury or false statements investigation and it could be used as evidence.

The other problem is a collector might be able to get the debt transferred despite the divorce with this kind of evidence, which suggests that they're still actually married notwithstanding the official divorce. Again, state law may matter, for instance I would think a state that recognizes common law marriage would consider them still married.

[LakeArenal]

10. One could declare bankruptcy.

The legal option to remove debt.

[TexasBushwhacker]

23. But getting divorced doesn't ruin your credit

Bankruptcy does.

[Canoe52]

12. We had friends who ended up having to go this route.

[KentuckyWoman]

13. Not much has changed

Medicare is thankfully allowing people to live longer but the end of life system for helping the elderly care for themselves is broken. The costs are ridiculous. Add uncovered medical expenses beyond long term care.

There is no comprehensive legal right for people to make decisions about when and how they make their exit when unable to care for themselves. It isn't just about money. It is also pain, dignity, love for those left behind... a host of other reasons. More often someone has to suffer through a decision for starvation or dehydration - IF they can even get the support to do so.

We do not support family caretakers. We force older couples into a choice between bad and worse. We put adult children trying to care for parents or grandparents in can not win situations.

If there is no signed DNR the medical community more often than not will take all heroic measures to keep someone alive. Profit is part of it but in the heat of the moment the people making those decisions are saving their own butts. An oncologist risks their livelihood if they so much as suggest it is time to give it up. Legally, and job wise. We don't support the medical community in these things either.

[JonAndKatePlusABird]

26. But we luv our health care heroes!!!!!

I mean, we clapped for them every day at 7pm for FOUR WHOLE MONTHS! And some of the ads on Teevee said how much we appreciate them! Isn’t that enough?!

(sorry, feeling extra sarcastic right now)

Thank you for the informative post, in all seriousness.

[FakeNoose]

14. This one may be hypothetical, but don't kid yourself

This is happening all across America. Medical bills for parents, spouses, children, in-laws etc. are a nightmare and it's only getting worse. Many of us who HAD employer-sponsored insurance or union-sponsored insurance no longer have it because of Covid. Pretty soon it won't even be offered. Or if it gets offered at all, it will only be offered to young recruits starting out from college, and it will be limited to 5 or maybe 10 years of employment. Then it goes away.

Once you get married, have kids, your parents get sick, that's when the bills start piling up. Your spouse gets laid off, or loses his/her insurance, then it's even harder for your company to keep you on the "covered" list. This is happening everywhere, don't kid yourself. The days of employer-sponsored insurance plans are almost over.

There are no easy answers, but this is not something to be decided in the marketplace.

If Obamacare isn't the answer, well OK, we're listening. The Repukes had 4 years and did NOTHING. It's up to us Dems to figure this out. That is all.

[Evolve Dammit]

15. Such bullshit. We are slaves to health "care" in US. This doesn't happen in other countries. nt

[haele]

17. Stories like that were common before the ACA.

Had a subcontractor working with me who "rented" a room at his own house and paid child support because they had a disabled kid and the junk health insurance being pushed in the 1990's/2000's kicked the kid off the policy and the only way to get Medi-Care to cover the kid was for them to be divorced and Mom to go on welfare and get the social services for poor single parents.

He made too much for Medi-Cal/Medi-Care, but not enough for the up to $40k a year policy that was the cheapest offered to him just for his kid.

Divorces to cover medical needs were not uncommon for those in the $30k -$70k a year household income back in those days.

I know this is slightly different, but the concept is still pretty much the same. Medi-Care does not care if you want to leave generational wealth, but have to go in a long term nursing home.
Health care in the US is unnecessarily expensive.

Haele

[spooky3]

21. A variation on this concerns long term care not covered by Medicare.

If one spouse needs LTC and doesn’t have LTC insurance, the other spouse may be bankrupted by the cost and not have money for his or her own life and later care. Medicare covers only a small number of days. One finds oneself hoping that the spouse in LTC will die quickly—a tragic scenario.

[NotASurfer]

25. Marriage is two things

On the one hand, a contract, a piece of paper for which your local government charges a nominal recording fee as a source of revenue

On the other hand, it's the bond between two people, for which the recorded document is evidentiary. I would wager in this case, that this is a bond of 52 years that no piece of paper can break.

It is sad that this was necessary for "legal reasons" so to speak. I hope, expect this does not make one bit of difference in their journey to forever, together

[packman]

35. Yes, I agree - marriage is a bound

It is tragic, sad and immoral under any circumstances to break that bond- especially when the couple is faced with health care issues. Makes me angry that anyone gets forced into this action.

[seta1950]

27. It's very 😔 sad

We lost everything after my husband’s illness, I know how bad it can be, I’m sorry

[CaptainTruth]

29. Same thing happened to my sister & her husband.

They had been married for decades, & he developed a debilitating disease that caused his spinal discs to deteriorate (I don't know the medical name).

He was in intense pain & any/all treatments were expensive, if they didn't divorce, she would have lost her house & basically all of her financial reserves... welcome to "community property."

[gixxerlee]

30. Damn that's depressing.

A harsh bitter pill of our health care system

[Uncle Joe]

31. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread packman.

[barbtries]

32. that is brutal.

i love my country, but it is very sick.

[cinematicdiversions]

33. This wouldn't be private insurance though

This is Medicare and Medicade.

[questionseverything]

38. There's tons of stuff private insurance doesn't cover

Huge yearly deductibles add up

Too bad we have required health insurance instead of healthcare

[Pacifist Patriot]

34. I know this is unverified, but it is not necessarily wrong.

Back when I was officiating weddings, I had a shocking number of elderly folks come to me for non-legal "commitment ceremonies." Financially disadvantageous to either or both parties to get legally married, so they did a symbolic ceremony to pledge themselves to one another. It's not just the medical system that brings it to that point.

[Edwcraig]

36. And we pay three times the cost and are 40th in the world in life expectancy. Yea we beat Ecuador.

Last edited Sat Aug 14, 2021, 02:33 PM - Edit history (2)

[marie999]

37. If we can't have universal healthcare the least the government should do

is only allow healthcare to cost no more than what Medicare allows. I was in the emergency room for 6 hours and the bill was over $5,000 not including doctors. The VA paid $866 which was the Medicare allowable. I had no deductible or copay. That is what the maximum should be allowed. If the government only has to pay a certain amount, it should be the same for people.