Why more women are deciding not to have kids

[marmar]

(CNN)Dyanna Volek was never someone who dreamed of becoming a mother.

From an early age, she knew deep down that she didn't want children. Maybe it stemmed from seeing her mother sacrifice her dream of becoming a flight attendant and work three jobs to raise two kids alone. Or maybe it was that other endeavors interested her more.

"I'm always looking forward to the next thing," said Volek, who works in local government in San Francisco. "Being a parent was never one of them."

Still, the idea of not having children seemed taboo, so she didn't dwell on it much. It wasn't until a few years ago when she started getting serious with her partner that she really reckoned with her feelings. By the time she and her husband got married last November, they had reached a conclusion: They didn't want kids.

Volek is now 37, and doesn't see herself changing her mind.

Not having children gives her a sense of freedom that her friends who are parents don't have. Now that they're vaccinated, she and her husband have been able to eat at restaurants, attend concerts and travel without worrying about risking their child's safety. ...........(more)

https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/14/us/childfree-women-birth-rate-decline-trnd/index.html

[cilla4progress]

1. I have a sense that birth rates will collapse

under the dual modern threats of the climate crisis and rampant viruses - which I believe are intertwined.

[luvs2sing]

2. It's different for every woman.

In my case, I spent way too much time in my own childhood taking care of the grownups in my life. I knew by the time puberty hit that I would not want children. I felt like my childhood had been stolen. As they say back in the hills where grandma came from, I had “done my raisin’”. In the 60s and 70s in a small Midwestern town, this was shocking and scandalous.

My husband, who has children from his first marriage, tells me I would have made a wonderful mother. I’m a very nurturing person, and I do love children. But I’ve never regretted the decision or ever had any urge to have any of my own.

[Dream Girl]

3. I thought I didn't want kids until my mid-30s. Now I can't imagine not having kids...biggest joy

Of my life. We’re becoming empty nesters now…Now it’s just my dogs and cats. They’re fun, but not even close.

[Bettie]

6. My youngest will be 13 in a few weeks

my older two are in college. I miss when I was their whole world, but I'm happy to see them moving into adulthood.

And as much as I love my furry companions, it isn't the same.

Of course, in Iowa being a mom who had kids in my 30's, well, most people think I'm their grandma!

[Bettie]

4. Each of us has to make our own decisions

some want kids, some don't. Both are good choices for different people.

I feel like these articles are trying to set it up as a competition or a "good/bad choices" thing.

[BoomaofBandM]

5. I think it has been going on awhile. I am from a family of 7 kids. We all had kids. It was expected.

I have 20 nieces and of nephews, 7 have kids. I only had one kid, and have 2 grandkids that I adore. If my daughter had opted out of having kids it would have been fine. I am so glad everyone has a choice now.

[Piasladic]

7. meh, I didn't have kids

because I didn't want kids. I remember vividly being in Peace Corps, in a small West African place. Children being shoved at me because the moms thought I could help. Men scoffing at me because I'd have no one to look after me when I'm old. I never worried until now when I see hell in a hand basket coming for me.

[HipChick]

8. Having kids was never on my bingo card..

[abqtommy]

9. I support every person's right to determine if they do or do not wish to be parents. Since some

people feel a need to whine about everything I also have the right to ignore the hand-wringing and
pearl-clutching gong on over the birth rate.

[leftyladyfrommo]

10. I never wanted kids. When I look at the direction

the world is heading I am glad I didn't have any.

My brother was saying yesterday that we are lucky we are in our 70's. We won't live to see how this ends.

[leftyladyfrommo]

11. I never wanted kids. When I look at the direction

the world is heading I am glad I didn't have any.

My brother was saying yesterday that we are lucky we are in our 70's. We won't live to see how this ends.

[gulliver]

12. You should possibly get Social Security tax credits (or increased benefits) if you have kids.

Kids used to be a way for parents to be secure in their retirement in old age. Social Security now provides a base level of that function. I don't think the idea of Social Security was to take a key incentive out of parenting. The needs of tomorrow's retirees will be met by tomorrow's workers. If there are fewer workers in the future, each of them will carry a bigger net burden of care for the retired elderly than they would have had to if there were more workers.

Being childless, in other words, is a better economic deal than fairness would indicate it should be. And being a parent is a worse economic deal than it should be. That's the kind of thing that can lead to some resentment of both Social Security and the burdens involved in parenting.

There are other factors like ecological guilt that come into play and some rightly point out that there is more to be disappointed about in the world than one would like. I think the former is overblown and the latter doesn't take into account the exciting possibilities of the future (or fails to see them entirely). There's peril and pain in the future, but there's a lot of meaning and challenge too.

[treestar]

13. family member decided to have only one

a variant on this.

So many just do it without really thinking.