Worried, but I have to be gentle and careful...

[Wounded Bear]

My daughter has not got vaxxed. I suspected as much, but it was confirmed last night in a text exchange that she hasn't. My two grandsons are under 12 now and going back to school, of course. She thinks she may have had covid from a 'cold' from Jan of 2020 that 'had covid symptoms' in her words.

She is afraid of side effects of the vax and asked me about my experience. I was honest while trying not to be alarmist. My after effects were mild and I said so. She has apparently heard some horror stories, from what she calls 'personal friends' that I suspect are internet 'friends.'

I told her that I recommended the shots, even if she had covid before and even threw in a 'for the kids' comment, because yeah that matters. It all started when she asked me about my booster shot and I assured her that I would get it as soon as I am eligible and the VA calls me with a schedule to do so.

I hope I pushed her (gently) in the direction of getting the shots, but I don't know. She lives in California and I'm in Washington, so I don't see her every day. If I deluge her with texts and FB posts she would probably just block me. Clock is ticking and the virus is out there...

[flying_wahini]

1. I would keep saying there is still enough time to get the vaccine and that most people

Have little or no reaction. Keep encouraging her to do what is right for her children.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

2. I feel your angst.

Mine is not so agreeable on this. She truly believes she is right and there is nothing we can do to let her know she is wrong despite the science and data showing otherwise.

She has 2 girls I pray to Jesus to every day He spares them. We will be getting our boosters when they become available. We want to live apparently. It is SCIENCE keeping us alive as we advance in age.

[viva la]

3. She is asking.

Good sign. You might gently suggest the one shot option, and look up where that's available around her.

[Wounded Bear]

4. Have thought about that in the time since. Might go that way...nt

[70sEraVet]

5. At least she's asking questions and listening.

That shows you do have a chance to convince her. But you're right not to push her so hard that you push her away.

[Wounded Bear]

6. I know. She grew up pretty independent and strong willed...

there are times when that seems less of a blessing.

[samnsara]

7. having covid wont give you that much protection... soon her job, insurance, social places

..wont allow her in. She will get the message.....

[Wounded Bear]

9. She basically works from home, but I still worry about her...nt

[Mariana]

8. She thinks she may have had covid from a 'cold' from Jan of 2020...

There were a couple of nasty colds going around at that time. My husband and I caught one in early March 2020 that had us feeling lousy and coughing for several weeks, but other than that, it didn't really fit well with Covid symptoms. We didn't get tested because at that time, you could only get a test if you had a fever, and we never had a fever.

When my cousin caught Covid in late March 2020 (confirmed by positive test), it was very obvious that's what he had.

[Wounded Bear]

10. The reporting about 'mild' cases may have been self defeating...nt

[mnhtnbb]

11. Has she talked to her primary care doc?

Did she hesitate to do all the childhood vaccinations for her children when age appropriate? IOW, does she tend to be anti-vax for other diseases?

Is she willing to have the antibody test to see if her "suspected" COVID experience in January 2020 has left her with any antibodies?

Does she understand that the Delta variant which is now prevalent across the country is more contagious and likely to make people more sick than what she "might" have had in January 2020?

She should be encouraged to talk to her primary care doc.

[Wounded Bear]

13. She says the kids are up to date on all pediatric vaccinations...

I always kept her shots up to date growing up, along with our doctors along the way. It doesn't appear to be a generalized anti-vax position, although she does dabble in some 'alternative medicines' such as 'essential oils' and what not. She seems to be reacting to some 'personal' accounts of reactions to the covid vax in particular. I'm not sure if she's discussed it with her own doctor.

I am trying to gently steer her in the right direction.

[mnhtnbb]

15. That's why talking to her primary care doc will give her some perspective.

Anecdotal reporting of reactions needs to be put in perspective. The tracking of reactions for each vaccine has been quite methodical and diligent.

Getting her to talk to her primary care doc also gets you off the hook. I suspect her kids' pediatrician would also be happy to talk to her if she has a better relationship with that individual. Healthy adults don't necessarily see their own docs as often as they see the pediatrician for their kids. She might be more comfortable talking about it with the pediatrician.

I have a friend of many years who is a retired pediatrician and he continues to reinforce the importance of getting vaccinated against COVID.

[BoomaofBandM]

12. Don't give up. I mentioned it each time I talked to my daughter.

When I asked what finally got her to get a shot, she told me it was to stop me from asking. I altered my approach many times, from reasoning to begging to offering bribes to bringing up the grandkids aged 10 and 1.

Good luck.

[Merlot]

14. If side effects are more than mild it means your immune system

is working well, and they don't last long. Having just gotten over a long term illness, I was concerned about getting the two shots because I had felt like crap for so long. So I got the one shot and had mild side effects - muscle soreness - for about a week.

[demigoddess]

16. as a military brat I was vaccinated against a lot of things as a requirement for going overseas

in the 50s. I'm healthy as a horse and hardly ever catch anything. Never had the flu as a kid. I always thought it was from getting so many vaccines.

[Grasswire2]

17. suggest the J&J one shot.

Side effects are slim to none, and with the eventual booster we now know that the J&J two will provide more protection than the other two plus booster.

[summer_in_TX]

18. Another good reinforcement is if several people she knows -

mom's friends, neighbors, family – all had the vaccine with little problem. Preferably people she likes.

A possible approach might be: "I forgot to mention that ____, ______, ______, ______, and ______ all got the vaccine with little problem, if you'd like to talk with anyone else about their experience.

The more people she knows personally who have had the vaccine may work to reassure her even more. Make her want to get on the bandwagon with so many people she knows.