"OH MY FUCKING GOD, GET THE FUCKING VACCINE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING FUCKS"

[Stinky The Clown]

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-my-fucking-god-get-the-fucking-vaccine-already-you-fucking-fucks

Hi, if you are reading this essay then congratulations, you are still alive. And if you are alive, then you have either gotten the COVID-19 vaccine, or you still have the opportunity to get the vaccine against COVID-19. And holy fuck, if you aren’t fucking vaccinated against COVID-19, then you need to get fucking vaccinated right now. I mean, what the fuck? Fuck you. Get vaccinated. Fuck.

The fucking vaccine will not make you magnetic. Are you fucking kidding me? It just fucking won’t. That’s not even a fucking thing, and that lady who tried to pretend the vaccine made her fucking magnetic looked like a real fucking fuckwad and a fucking idiot, so get fucking vaccinated. Jesus. Fuck.

The vaccine also doesn’t have a fucking 5G chip in it. What the fuck do you think a fucking 5G chip is, fucknuts? You think it’s like some invisible nanotechnology they can suspend in a liquid and then just put in your fucking blood and then it what, exactly? Fucking floats around in your body going on Instagram and telling the government you went to the grocery store? No one fucking cares where you go, you absolute fucking fuck-barf. Fuck off with that. Fuck.

Oh, you’re afraid of fucking side effects? Fuck you. You know what has fucking side effects? Fucking aspirin, fucking Tylenol. You could be fucking allergic to pineapple, you fucking fuckwit. Everything has side effects. You’re being a big fucking baby with a huge diaper full of fucking diarrhea, complaining about maybe feeling slightly tired for a day or two while your asymptomatic COVID case you get and pass to some innocent fucking kid could wind up killing them or someone else. Fuck you, you fucking selfish fucking shit-banana, you unredeemable ass-caterpillar, you fucking fuck-knob with two fucks for eyes and a literal poop where your heart should be. You want a two-month-old to wind up on a fucking ventilator instead of you, a fucking adult, getting a fucking sore arm for a day? What are you, a pitcher for the Yankees? A fucking concert pianist? An arm model? Get the fuck out of here! Fuck you. Get vaccinated. Fuck. Fuck you!

Its fucking McSweeney's for fuck sake. Fucking read it. There's fucking more, and its fucking good!

[yonder]

1. Nice rant.

I think I know where many of my 'fucks to give' wound up.

[gratuitous]

2. Gotta be careful about a rant like that

You could run out of fucks to give.

[zuul]

3. Righteous!

[bluedevil4]

4. I tried I really did try

to be understanding of others for not getting the vaccine. As more information came in about others getting sick and hospitalized I began to lose my patience and now I'm just pissed. I'm pissed that my grandchildren have to suffer never mind myself. I'm pissed because we have gone backwards in our progression with COVID. I don't understand, with the exception of pre-existing conditions why everybody isn't vaccinated.

Those of us who got vaccinated should be proof to those who are afraid to get vaccinated that it's no big deal. We didn't grow horns and magnets don't stick to us but I digress.

[Blue Owl]

5. Who's the fucker in charge of those fucking fucks?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

33. Q

[2naSalit]

6. ...

with two fucks for eyes and a literal poop where your heart should be.

!!!

[Jon King]

7. The NBA is pretty much mandating it.

Just announced unvaccinated players have to sit with staff in back of plane, can't eat with vaccinated players, 2 a day tests vs none for the vaxxed, etc.

If employers make it uncomfortable enough, more will get vaccinated.

[Jerry2144]

8. ...

Fuck those fucking fuckers.

[Grokenstein]

9. "you unredeemable ass-caterpillar"

My Nightmares: " (chef's kiss) "

[ChazInAz]

13. Added that to my vituperative vocabulary. Koszonom!

[TNNurse]

10. I live in East TN, not far from Knoxville.

Yesterday all the area hospitals including where I worked, the Children's Hospital, the University of TN hospital and those in surrounding counties posted a statement about how overwhelmed they ALL are with Covid patients. There are national guard personnel at some of them to help.

One local school system made a mask mandate, others voted down mask mandates the same day. There are multiple school systems shutting for a few days. Some of them are calling them "Bill Lee Days", he is our worthless governor.

I wish hospitals could refuse people who are unvaccinated by choice and anyone who has participated in an anti-mask rally.

The UT football team plays there first game tonight. It could be deadly for some.

[leftieNanner]

11. I NEEDED THIS TODAY!

Thank you Stinky!

[Harker]

12. "Vaccine hesitancy" is really vaccine refusal.

For anyone who can get get it to not do so is legitimate reason for ostracization.

[bringthePaine]

14. without fucking vaxing, the fucking fuckers are fucking fucked!...

[tavernier]

15. A little off point...

I work at the high school and today I passed a group of boys who were shooting the breeze. All I heard was f this and f that, along with laughter etc. and then one of the kids said “Shit!” Suddenly they all turned around and for the first time noticing me they started to apologize for the kid who had just said shit. It kind of made me chuckle because no one was concerned about all the f bombs, but shit was the “bad” word.
It’s just become so common place anymore and I’m wondering what word is going to be the “shocker” in the future.

[Haggard Celine]

32. I've been saying "bloody" a lot.

Like I'm having a bloody good time or the cat made a big bloody mess in the living room. I never really understood why "bloody" never caught on in America, and I'm trying to change that.

[tavernier]

34. Oh, I bloody like it.

[Bo Zarts]

16. Preach it, Wendy!

Raise the fucking roof! A-fucking-men!

[spanone]

17. K&R

[MrModerate]

18. So THAT's what they mean by a rant. n/t

[honest.abe]

19. Well stated!

Reminds me the wear your mask rant from last year

[ProfessorGAC]

20. What Wendy Said!

Well done, Ms. Molyneux!

[greatauntoftriplets]

21. I'd rather have a fucking needle stuck in my arm than get fucking COVID again.

And I had a fucking mild case. And no fucking reaction at all when I got the fucking vaccine.

[not fooled]

22. SW AZ checking in here

Lots of MAGAts who refuse to get vaccinated and hate masks. This area has been largely Delta variant free so far, which reinforces their poor judgement that they have FREEDUMB.

But, I've always figured that it's only a matter of time before infection rates climb, especially because this area is an international trucking hub and has a Marine Corps base.

Today I heard from a neighbor down the block that both he and his wife have COVID. I suspect the variant is now going around here, and high infection rates will ensue.

I remember a medical professional on teevee (sorry, can't remember the guy's name...it might even have been Dr. Fauci) saying that if you aren't vaccinated, you will get the Delta variant...just a matter of if, not when.

[crickets]

23. Breath of fresh air - go, Wendy, go! 💙

[democrattotheend]

24. In fairness, I know people who had much worse side effects than "slightly tired for a day"

Nothing life-threatening, but I know someone who got shingles from it, someone who was throwing up for two days after, someone who still has swollen lymph nodes a month later, and someone who felt like he had the flu and was hit by a truck the day after his second Moderna shot. Most of those people are still glad they got it, but I don't see how minimizing the experiences of people who had bad side effects helps anything.

[Stinky The Clown]

25. Do you know these people or simply know OF these people?

[democrattotheend]

26. These are all people I know

I have heard other stories secondhand but I put less stock in them because the people who tell their stories tend to be anti vaxxers. The people I mentioned are people I know personally, most of whom got their shot the second they were eligible.

[womanofthehills]

27. You can access the CDC's VAERS to actually read the thousands of reports

Health care professionals are required to report to VAERS. (Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System)
Also many young severe vaccine injured are posting on TicToc.

[Maru Kitteh]

30. TikTok is the FUCKING WACKJOB ANTIVAX HORSE-PASTE GARGLING BULLSHIT

that is FILLING OUR HOSPITALS BEYOND THE BREAKING POINT WITH FUCKING UNVACCINATED ASSHOLES.

WE'RE OUT OF ICU BEDS. WE'RE OUT OF VENTILATORS. BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING UNVACCINATED.

[democrattotheend]

36. I have been looking at VAERS

Some of the reports are clearly not vaccine related, but there are some that seem to be and are a little scary. But COVID itself is pretty scary too, obviously.

[cadoman]

29. in all fairness, the science shows us that overwhelmingly, "side effects" are medical coincidences

Hundreds of millions of people have gotten one of the wonderful vaccines. There are a tiny, tiny, almost infinitesimal number of people who have experienced side effects, but those side effects are likely coincidence, rather than causation.

Hopefully you and your friends acknowledge the importance of not creating misinformation. It's a very dangerous way of thinking that discourages vaccination, and could get them fired from their jobs. We all need to continue to support science by not fear-mongering about side effects and to remain committed to our full schedule of COVID vaccinations.

[dalton99a]

35. +1. A vaccine does not give you hemorrhoids, infertility, high cholesterol, or a sprained ankle

[democrattotheend]

37. How am I "creating misinformation"?

I simply shared what several people I know experienced within days of getting their shots. I also said most of them are still glad they got the vaccine. How is that fear-mongering or creating misinformation? If anything, based on things the vaccine holdouts in my family have said, this relentless push to censor information about side effects from the vaccine are making them more hesitant to get it.

[cadoman]

28. brilliant! but not an issue, soon they won't have any choice: MANDATES ARE COMING [nt]

[retread]

31. Shorter Version. Select "Watch on YouTube"