Ah, I See the Fascist Death Cult Started Rolling Back Our Rights? That's Fun. (Ferret)
Longtime readers know this blog’s opening paragraph has traditionally been a needlessly verbose “stuff sure is crazy” sort of thing; it’s a gag that’s worked for me for a long time, but would anybody mind if today, I just…screamed? I need me a good, sturdy, primal YOWL right about now, the kind you’d encounter in some mid-20th century method acting class. Fucking hell.
(As ever, get this post with links n’ shit here: http://showercapblog.com/ah-i-see-the-fascist-death-cult-started-rolling-back-our-rights-thats-fun/)
Turns out, a society goes through all sortsa wacky shit when it flirts with fascism. You see folks assault reporters live on camera, and bring zip ties to their kids’ school in order to kidnap the principal, cuz the great partisan battlefield of the moment is Spread Deadly Disease Amongst Children or Nah?
It was a time of stupendous collective mental health, is what I’m saying.
So, Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves claimed ICUs and graveyards throughout the Republican-ruled South are filling up with Covid victims due to neither lethally incompetent wingnut misrule, nor MAGA culture’s suicidal addiction to disinformation, but rather because Real ‘Muricans are wild-eyed fanatics who know better than to value human life on accounta how eternal rewards await the faithful disciples of that drooling game show host regularly overwhelmed in his intellectual jousts with the wily umbrella.
I bring this up in case you’d somehow blissfully forgotten that we’re all still (STILL!) trapped, with the Delta variant and a death cult, inside the stalled elevator that is the United States of America in 2021.
I can’t get over the sheer, shitty luck of it…a pandemic AND a death cult. Lord, that’s a trash hand. Spanish flu didn’t have Joe Rogan helpin’ things along, y’know?
Anyway. It truly would appear as though, despite the mobile morgues overflowing with the remains of anti-vax talk radio hosts, there is no stream of cautionary tales steady enough to cool the American Right’s lust for animal dewormer.
Ivermectin, folks. The mere idea of ivermectin is more addictive and mind-warping to these assclowns than any controlled substance. Their precious miracle cure for a disease that already has three fully functional miracle cures.
The crowd that mistook the fella who couldn’t figure out how to make money in the casino industry for the world’s greatest businessman knows WAY more about medicine than any dumb ol’ doctor, that’s for sure.
Some of these fools are actually going to court (and WINNING) to force hospitals to administer cow medicine to their Covid-afflicted relatives, which is a bit like asking a judge to make an auto mechanic shove a cantaloupe up your spouse’s ass: it won’t accomplish anything positive, and you’re FUCKING INSANE for thinking it will.
Meanwhile, in parts of rural Oklahoma, folks with legitimate medical emergencies are left to patiently bleed out in the lobby, because all the hospital beds are full of Nobel Prize-winning epidemiologists who self-medicated with livestock-sized doses of horse paste. Is this just…how life is now? Do we need to drastically expand our health care capacity to accommodate regular casualties inflicted by this patchwork, blackpilled/crowdsourced, dumbfuck WebMD?
Fuckers are buying fake vaccination cards now. Cool plan, bro. Flash that bad boy to the nurses right before you’re intubated, they’ll be SUPER impressed.
Rand Paul accused the entire global scientific community of refusing to seriously investigate the batshit conspiracy theories of internet weirdos out of “hatred for Donald Trump,” which makes about as much sense as seeking medical treatment at a feed store, I suppose. Hell, maybe it’s my standards that’re too high.
Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell sees little point in rebuking his deranged colleagues over their lethal lies, however high the butcher’s bill. While Yertle’s insatiable pursuit of power coupled with his complete lack of any sense of responsibility has made him the most disastrous legislator in American history, it must be said, he’d make one helluva Spider-Man villain.
A pastor and spokesman for an organization called National Religious Broadcasters got unceremoniously shitcanned for promoting vaccination. Yeah, you read that right. Look, if this is how things are gonna be, I need somebody to work up some synonyms for “death cult,” just to keep things lively around here.
Young Maddy Cawthorn no longer feels particularly obligated to slide much plausible deniability into his calls for violent retribution in the name of the Big Lie, I see. Man, who’da thought the Hitler’s Favorite Hideaways on 50 Euros A Day kid would pull so much Nazi shit?
That a Trumpler Youth poosquirt like Cawthorn remains a member in good standing of the House Republican Conference, while Freedumb Caucus alpha jackal Andy Biggs demands the expulsion of Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for the sin of choosing country over party, for inciting accountability instead of violence, tells you all you need to know about the GOP of 2021: ignore it at your peril.
Though the Chuck Todds* of this world will do their damndest to paint this as politics as usual, (and politics as entertainment) the truth is, to shield the traitors and terrorists in their midst, the House GOP would happily burn American democracy to ash before allowing the rule of law to work its will. I believe I mentioned peril a moment ago. Laugh at the jokes, (please) but pay attention to the peril.
No wonder Kevin McCarthy’s running around, bleating out fashy little threats, vowing revenge on any tech company that complies with the January 6th commission’s requests for records. Such retaliation would be extremely illegal of course, but then, so was assaulting dozens of law enforcement officers in an attempt to overturn the most recent election. Ol’ K-Dog’s really starting to grow into his jodhpurs, ain’t he?
Seditious Dicktumor Mo Brooks, sounding not at all like a cornered crook, drenched in flop sweat as the fuzz closes in, hilariously suggested the commission lacked probable cause to subpoena his private communications, as though the entire world didn’t watch him address, and indeed incite the very mob of shitweasels that would shortly invade his workplace in search of Vice Presidents to lynch. Mo thinks “probable cause” is just a synonym for “Black,” of course.
Abusing the shadow docket process to slither past the public scrutiny that would accompany hearings on an issue so massive, Anti Choicey Barrett and her Four Inquisitor Horsemen not only effectively repealed Roe v. Wade in the dead of night, but deputized every theocrat incel in Texas as state-sanctioned bounty hunters, free to terrorize any neighbors who even think about helping a woman exercise autonomy over her own body.
Wow, did it get medieval in here or is it just me? I particularly enjoy the timing of this enormous, regressive power grab; the disease-spreading terrorist sympathizers feel they should be allowed to pick n’ choose which rights the rest of us get, you see. I dunno, maybe after crashing the economy and getting hundreds of thousands of people needlessly killed, and, oh yeah, decisively losing the election, you kids should sit your asses down in the corner with a third grade science textbook for a spell.
But no, see, when Republicans fuck up, they simply get straight to work undermining the right the vote; spares ‘em all that pesky “reflection” shit, and it’s certainly more fun than abandoning your archaic, failed, deeply unpopular positions JUST BECAUSE the public rejects them. Apparently one of the core tenets of modern conservatism is that America has no right to be governed competently.
So maybe everybody should VOTE IN THE GODDAMN MIDTERMS, lest the nation fall to these moldering dungbuckets once more. Just a thought.
Rough one this week, Resisters. Do not, under any circumstances, let the bastards grind you down. I mean it. That said, I need a beer now. NEED. See y’all ‘round…
*Chucks Todd?
PS - Hey Kickstarter backers: Answer yer surveys. Do it.
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