General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums"A lot of people may be confused about Texas and why the women don't just use birth control..."
Last edited Sun Sep 5, 2021, 07:48 PM - Edit history (1)
Link to tweet
A lot of people may be confused about Texas and why the women dont just use birth control, so Id like to talk about my personal experience in this state to give some insight; first of all, Texas teaches abstinence only sex education. Purity culture reigns supreme.
long thread, continued here: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1434557502272724995.html
Rest of thread:
The idea is that if you have sex as a female you are unclean and lose your worth in the eyes of male suitors, and god. Your dad may even take you to purity balls where you promise him, in a room full of other dads, not to have sex with any man until youre married.
You may be thinking that this sounds like a period piece, some movie set in the 1500s depicting how women should behave, until they are sold into marriage by their father. Honestly, this is very much a holdover from that era. Our religious indoctrination will also enforce this.
The high school/ middle school Bible study classes will be divided by sex, this is the first time our classes arent coed. The female classes are heavily reliant on the ideals of being sexually chaste. How birth control is basically for dirty women. Good girls dont have sex.
Our middle school will have actors come on stage during assembly meetings to rap (yes literally rap) about not having sex and waiting for marriage because of god. The girls who have sex are depicted as worthless.
From almost every angle, our sexuality is demonized, our education, our religion, and our parents the only people not demonizing our sexuality is boys, and older male creeps. They pressure us relentlessly. They arent educated on birth control, and they arent ashamed.
The coercion, begging, pressure, and eventual sexual assault are part of a purity culture females right of passage. TW: rape. My first boyfriend begged to just be able to touch it, and after days of begging and fighting him off of me I finally allowed him to.
He escalated the situation, soon he inside me with me crying, begging him to stop, until he completed inside of me, and apologized. I ran to the bathroom, and punched myself in the stomach, scared I was pregnant, and everyone would know I was unclean. I was 13.
I knew it was all my fault, I tempted him, I allowed him to touch me, I should have left, I should have fought harder, I should have dressed more conservatively. Based on my education, I internalized my own sexual assault. I clung to him after that. Youd think Id leave, but no.
See I was taught that because I had sex, no other man would want me. David had to be my husband, David had to stay with me no matter what. Even after he raped me, repeatedly. Even after he cheated on me. Even after he got addicted to drugs.
Even after I found stories about grooming and raping minors on his computer. I thought I could fix him, I thought I could save him. I told his parents expecting them to help me save him, but they denied he had ever done anything wrong, and accused me of corrupting him.
Eventually, I ended up attempting suicide. In the hospital one of my friends visited me and showed me Davids online journal, where he chronicled everything he had done to me, and more importantly how funny it was to him.
The last line was I dont know why I cant just let her go, its not because I love her, I guess its just because shes so stupid she always comes back.
I finally left him after that. I decided Id rather be alone forever than stay with him.
I was released from the hospital and the next day sold his game systems to game stop, where I met a nice guy, who was interested in me. I finally realized I had been lied to, and that men will find you attractive, even if you have had sex.
It wasnt until I was in my 20s that I realized how much trauma purity culture had put me through. I put all of the blame on David, and myself, for years. The truth is that the system was never designed to stop girls from having sex
It was to shame them and punish them when they did. The goal wasnt to stop teenage pregnancy, the goal was to control, subjugate, and demonize us. The goal was to make us internalize misogyny and loathe ourselves.
How many school classes teach boys not to rape, not to beg, not to cause damage? None. How many classes taught us how to use birth control, and gave it away for free? None. How many parents helped us to accept safe sex and an alternative? None.
All of the pressure is on young, impressionable female children. They are brainwashed. They are submerged in a culture that breaks them down. And now, they will be forced to carry shame pregnancies to term. They will be forced to raise babies when they are babies themselves.
Innocence lost forever
eta: for what it's worth, I invited Jessica to join us in the discussion.
chowder66
(9,011 posts)Saoirse9
(3,666 posts)leftieNanner
(14,998 posts)By design.
Womans only value, to some, is as hatchery.
leftieNanner
(14,998 posts)I know two young women who were raised in the San Francisco Bay Area (not exactly Texas!) by Evangelical parents who taught them the purity bullshit. Both of them became sexually active at a young age, and both of them chose disastrous men to be their partners.
I have two daughters and gave them as much accurate information as I had. I also gave them ownership of their own sexuality - which I think is very important. If you teach girls that their sexuality is to be controlled by their parents or by Jesus, then when that boy is pawing at them, neither the parents nor Jesus happen to be in the room. There's nobody to help them in the situation. But if you tell them that it's 100% their choice and their decision, then they are prepared for the moment and can respond in a way that works for them.
No shame in being human.
Side note: All the health text books are published in Texas and there is zero information about birth control other than saying no. The word condom isn't even in there. Fortunately, my daughters' high school health class taught comprehensive sex ed.
yellowdogintexas
(22,119 posts)Which state purchases the most textbooks?
Texas
Because Texas is such a big state, with such a big population, it was a large market for textbook producers, buying roughly 48 million textbooks every year a hugely profitable enterprise for publishers. Publishers wanted their books to be approved in Texas because it meant their sales would be stronger nationwide.Nov 26, 2014
https://www.cornellrooseveltinstitute.org/edu/a-texas-sized-fight-over-textbooks
Piasladic
(1,160 posts)I mean in terms of population. Why do publishers go for that... place.
Farmer-Rick
(10,072 posts)Why don't publishers go with what California wants in textbooks?
I think this maybe a just an excuse because the filthy rich like the Taliban Christian crap more than they like liberal ideas. They are trying to blame the "free" market when it actually is a choice by the rich owners.
halfulglas
(1,654 posts)Texas has a system that chooses and buys its books for the entire state. The publishers used to print and distribute the books separately to Texas but now many Texas approved books go into their states. But what happens in Texas doesn't stay in Texas. That's how parents need to check out their kids books, especially in history and some other courses downright and find false narratives like how slavery wasn't bad for the enslaved people and the war of northern aggression, etc. and when it's caught and pointed out, the publisher puts out a statement like oops their school got sent the wrong edition or other innocuous statement instead of saying they published what the big buyer (Texas) wanted. And sometimes its overruns of the Texas edition gets sent to other districts because why not, most parents don't edit them for fact, right?
Farmer-Rick
(10,072 posts)Interesting
demigoddess
(6,640 posts)This is religion run wild. Something that I thought was not supposed to happen in a democracy like ours.
wryter2000
(46,016 posts)Society can practice this without any reference to God. In fact, I didn't hear much about sex at all in church.
monkeyman1
(5,109 posts)there is mega chuch's every where in texas & ya can't spit without hitting one ! freedom of religion is getting be a sore spot in people's ass ! do not get me wrong on this ! that's why we fight in war's on shit, it's a right , but not for these preacher's to make a living & be tax exempt because they don't want to work for a damn living ! fly around in there corporate jet's ,mansion's , wive's with designer's cloth's & on & on ! you figure it out ! got a church on every damn corner ! charity begins at home !
demigoddess
(6,640 posts)it is churches, wars, preachers, jets, mansions, wives, designers, clothes, etc.
Hugh_Lebowski
(33,643 posts)I think designer's is probably as correct as designers (as it would be possessive in this context), but really it should be designer clothes
COL Mustard
(5,783 posts)Sorry, just couldn't help myself. I'm on a roll tonight!
TallMike
(161 posts)Sorry. I too am on a roll.
Love your life sister.
Biophilic
(3,487 posts)wryter2000
(46,016 posts)When I was a teen, this was all true everywhere, not quite to the extremes mentioned here. The lesson was sex was dirty, but boys begged and pleaded and sneered at you if you said no. "What are you a virgin?" Until you gave in.
And you couldn't get birth control unless you knew about Planned Parenthood. If you asked for it from a doctor, he (usually a man) would shame you about why you wanted it. Rubbers were kept behind the counter in pharmacies, and there was no foam. There was no morning after pill, but if there had been, you wouldn't have been able to get that, either.
gay texan
(2,404 posts)This has dislodged some bad memories for me.
This abstinence bullshit was pushed in my NE texas school in the late 80's. If a girl got pregnant it was her fault for being a slut. She shouldn't have turned him on, dressed provocative, or what the fuck ever stupid fucking reason. Fine young Christian white men must protect themselves from those slutty women.
Gay people deserved to die because it was going against the will of gawd. AIDS was a tool sent from gawd to punish the sodomites. If a woman got it because she was a slut, well she deserved it.
That's the mindset of these people. This is what you fucking deal with on a daily basis. I wish all of those people the worst in life.
I absolutely fucking hate the mindset in this state. I literally had NO ONE to reach out to and talk about this strange same sex attraction I was dealing with. If only I prayed harder, if only I jumped through this fucking flaming circus hoop, if only.. If I had, I would have been killed.
My only salvation was to get out of that place but the scars remained. My first encounter with a man, which I enjoyed, sent me into a guilt trip that nearly costed my life. Lots of wasted years and money from divorces of women who I couldn't even achieve an erection because deep down there was no attraction. Again, the scars of xtian bullshit programming.
Only after therapy, real therapy from a person who knew sexuality, did the healing start. I learned to love myself for who I am.
I know first hand what this bullshit is like. Guys would go across the Red River to get cheap Oklahoma 3.2% beer so they could get their girlfriends drunk and rape them.
Anyone reading this havent the foggiest idea of what I've seen in this stupid fucking state.
Demanchor
(127 posts)My father was a baptist preacher. I was raped at the age of 4 by my Sunday school teaching uncle. I was the bad girl and my uncle was protected by my family.
I have the foggiest idea of what can be seen in that horrible place with those horrible people.
Im happy you got the help you needed. So did I
Tommymac
(7,263 posts)Glad you got help. I am a man and I was sexually abused when I was 3 to 5 years old by a close male relative. I suppressed the memories and almost ruined my whole life.
It took me 40 years of living in a self loathing depressive hell, abusing drugs and alcohol, drifting aimlessly, not fulfilling my real potential, being homophobic, using females, and hating myself before I was able to really remember what happened. I was very lucky that 30 years ago I found a caring loving partner who has given me the ability to admit it was not my fault, deal with it and heal.
I'll never regain the lost years, but I am healing - it will take the rest of my life and I will never fully recover - anxiety and severe depression never really go away - thanks to her love.
On edit - also so glad I ditched the Catholic Church , Christianity and all organized religion when I was 17. I am now a proud spiritual agnostic. In my world and experience at least, Jesus didn't heal, he made it worse.
Demanchor
(127 posts)Womens rights are also rainbow and good men rights. When a good man protects me I notice. When my rainbow protects me I notice. We awesome people protect each other.
I understand the drugs, alcohol and drifting. I understand the PTSD, anxiety and depression. My experience in a mental hospital was one of the best Ive ever had. I truly recommend a behavioral hospital for anyone who needs it. (Lets compare crazy shall we?). Its quite a stigma on me, but truly one of my best experiences. Dont be afraid if you need it.
It will take more than our lifetimes to truly heal. I personally am hoping reincarnation is real so I get another chance at a good childhood. Im hoping
I couldnt have children because of my experience (and others in the years after). I hope reincarnation is real. Maybe I can have a child to love and adore.
Ill have to join a much better, kinder and smarter human race and family if that happens.
Stay light as much as you can. When you cant, kiss that loving wife of yours.
Edit: Christianity is not welcome in my life. Most religionists arent welcome unless they show compassion and maybe a new idea or two. Conservatives arent welcome in my life. Its not just men that did this when my mother and aunt helped to protect my uncle and told me I was the bad girl. I dont hate men. I fear and rage against religion and conservatives of any gender.
Tommymac
(7,263 posts)It's tough but we are survivors. In a weird way the pain and trauma has made me a more compassionate person for those that deserve it.
Conservatives are not welcome in my world either, since Rush and the Religious Right militarized political debate in the early 1990's.
This Texas overreach is a prime example why. But they are going to pay for it in the long run. Big time. I think this is a game changer for 2022 and beyond - like SS, a Woman's right to choose is a third rail in politics that polarize a lot of otherwise laid back people. And unlike the 1990's I believe the majority of today's women (and men) are really fired up and pissed off about it, and will show up at the polls.
Take care and look forward to seeing you around.
gay texan
(2,404 posts)You are among friends here, no worries wherever you are. Know that you are loved and accepted . Demanchor, you are loved..
I give you hugs from afar. It gets better
On edit: Girl, you didnt deserve that, not by any stretch of imagination. I hope that fucker met his fate, badly. Girl know that you always have a shoulder to cry on, a person to get mad at, a person to hug you when the bad times come flooding back in a wave. This androgynous old gay person is here for you! Hopefully you don't mind a hug from a wildly flamboyant person in cute shoes and horrible makeup....
Ive lurked here for many years. I know Im among friends.
My shoes are great too and I wear no makeup. My pretty dresses may even get a compliment. Go ahead and hug.
I married a great man in a deeply democratic non-religious family (Im a raging socialist so I could never be with republican Christian type). My fears and anger are all aimed toward religionists and conservatives not men.
Thanks for the support
momta
(4,076 posts)Longview. I grew up catholic, and will affirm everything you wrote.
I finally healed when I met and married a good man who despises organized religion and republicans in equal measure.
PatrickforB
(14,516 posts)These people are no better than the Taliban, seriously. A bunch of dirtbags.
gay texan
(2,404 posts)PatrickforB
(14,516 posts)just blows me away. People who teach this kind of stuff are wrong on so many levels it isn't even funny.
I'm happy for you that you got the help you needed to embrace and love who you actually are instead of what some zealot thinks you should be.
gay texan
(2,404 posts)Needless to say I troll the white uppity churches on a regular basis.
Treefrog
(4,170 posts)Theres a lot more going on there.
How would a 13 year old child be alone with a male that long? She finally left him?
Since when do 13 year olds leave someone? This is weird on too many levels.
Hekate
(90,195 posts)Treefrog
(4,170 posts)There is no way I would have been in that situation at that age, and my parents certainly werent the type she talks about.
Kind of a contradiction to say girls are kept pure but left alone with a male long enough for this to occur. Unless I missed it, did she mention how old the guy was?
3Hotdogs
(12,209 posts)The boys in the neighborhood asked her if she wanted to play a game called. F.U.C.K. She was happy with the attention so she agreed.
I guess she was in her early 50's when she told the story. So this happened in the 1920's.
My point is about why parents would let their pre-teens and teens alone. It happens.
Around the 70's there was a call-in psychologist show on WMCA. Woman called in because she found her 3 year old girl experiencing cunnilingus with her friend's boy, about the same age. He learned it from watching his father's porn videos. It happens.
I was a teen in the 50's. I had many opportunities to be alone with girls.... actually, I didn't. I wasn't popular and there were few girls who wanted to be with me. All I had was my fantasies about those girls.
gay texan
(2,404 posts)Hekate
(90,195 posts)Ilsa
(61,675 posts)This right here, and it crosses cultures all over the planet:
It was to shame them and punish them when they did. The goal wasnt to stop teenage pregnancy, the goal was to control, subjugate, and demonize us. The goal was to make us internalize misogyny and loathe ourselves.
Proof of obsession over virginity ranges from a bride's family flaunting a sheet from the wedding bed showing a little blood from a broken hymen to the practice of FGM. This obsession with virginity and chastity warps minds and literally causes deaths.
iwannaknow
(210 posts)is not foolproof.
monkeyman1
(5,109 posts)Hugin
(32,778 posts)Nope, I wasn't.
SergeStorms
(18,898 posts)Guilt, fear, retribution. Oh, they say it's about love and forgiveness, but it's always about control. They don't want you to ask questions. Just believe what they say and everything will be fine.
It's no wonder all religions are patriarchal in nature. After all, when the bigger, stronger men are in charge, those weak, frail women will be protected. They're man's property, and men will always protect their property, right?
Unless they're tired of that property. If it's become old, worn and it's usefulness as an affectation of his virility isn't quite what it used to be......well, they might jettison that bit of property in favor of some newer, shinier piece of.....property.
I'm a man, and it took many years of observation and self-realization to come to this conclusion. I certainly wasn't the first to realize this. Other men had written about it, defined it, but until you feel it as being true, until you actually see it in yourself, you don't really believe it.
Men are taught to act this way. Certainly not all men, but the vast majority are, from birth. Just like the woman who penned this article was taught what her place in society should be. And it's wrong. It's all wrong.
Some parents are teaching their children differently now, and that's a must if we're to change the way men and women perceive each other. Too many parents are totally neglecting this. That's why we have incels, proud boys, and so many other misguided young people in the world.
The first thing that should be done is to revise or totally ignore religion, because that's where it starts for many young people. Adults must make the changes in themselves to begin with, then it can be taught to future generations.
If things don't change, I'm afraid I don't see a very bright future for people on this planet.
Jon King
(1,910 posts)Guess we just can not relate. We have lots of 13 year olds in our groups, tennis, basketball, coding. Some are middle class, some are poor. The 'community' of kids, guardians, parents, single parents, depending on the kid's personal situation, know who is where and when, who talked to which boy, etc. Multiple people would know if the girl was even hanging out talking to a boy at age 13.
Not sure how a 13 year old left to have a 'boyfriend', be alone, and all that on obviously multiple occasions, is ever going to end well, no matter the social class, no matter the situation. Its always going to end poorly, in Texas or the most liberal area in the US. No 13 year old girl, no matter the sex ed she is given, could deal with a 13-15 year old boy alone. Thats beyond a recipe for disaster.
hunter
(38,264 posts)Diamond_Dog
(31,664 posts)It really goes on in the year 2021? Purity balls?? I cant imagine anything creepier than promising in front of you father and all your friends fathers about not having sex before marriage. This crap just boggles my mind!
malthaussen
(17,066 posts)It is about the most creepy and weird-ass shit you can imagine -- and they're proud of it. The daughter swears before witnesses that she belongs to her father until he bestows her on some other guy.
I accidentally stumbled across a web site once where a woman was bragging about her daughter who had just gotten married, to a boy the same age (18). She claimed they had never even kissed before marriage. Either she was incredibly naive, or those kids were incredibly repressed.
-- Mal
DBoon
(22,288 posts)It's not Saudi Arabia.
It's not the 12th century.
This is America today.
tibbir
(1,170 posts)Response to steve2470 (Original post)
tibbir This message was self-deleted by its author.
marieo1
(1,402 posts)Texas sounds like a state I am soooooooo thankful I wasn't born and raised in. Totally a male chauvinist state. Apparently they totally take responsibility away from the male species.
orleans
(33,987 posts)it was job/money related for her and the husband
they had a little girl.
i never understood what the fucking attraction was--they certainly could have landed equally good jobs elsewhere.
and to think they went from the chicago area mindset to possibly living around something like that?
we weren't close. haven't talked in decades
Joinfortmill
(14,247 posts)Collimator
(1,639 posts)A year after graduation, a friend from the group told me that she had "an injection" to get rid of a pregnancy, but it "wasn't an abortion". She received both financial and emotional support (which is a good thing, really) from one fellow in the group whose girlfriend had two abortions.
I doubt that the majority of the young people involved in that organization were able to live up to any Christian standards. (I, myself, was the target of gossip and ridicule), but they sure did expend a lot of energy preaching and propping each other up in their beliefs.
Just recently, I saw something online--it may have been Facebook--it was an exchange between two guys that I had known back then. They were posting memes about how Jesus called Christians to be charitable but not the Roman government. (The point was to ridicule social aid programs.) They also ridiculed the objections that Liberals have to putting armed police in schools, stressing that armed guards are normal in banks and implying that Liberals believe money is worth protecting but children aren't.
I can't believe there was a time when I desperately wanted the love and respect of those people.
Blue Owl
(49,918 posts)AnnaLee
(1,023 posts)Things in MS were not much different than in TX ( and probably a few other states). Boys were pushed to prove their manhood with sexual conquests and the victims of the attainment of this conquest found their lives in ruins. There was only public shaming, whispering and name calling for the girls and any babies produced by these conquests. Yes, the boys got pats on the back while calling their own babies bastard and the mothers of their babies, whore. (of course, they denied the parentage even though they bragged about the penetration).
I'm so glad we have DNA.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Enraging.
LeftInTX
(24,560 posts)Or they don't think ahead.
Substance abuse is another reason that birth control is forgotten.
Evangelicals are not who these bills are targeting.
Evangelicals can usually get BC from somewhere...I betcha they have BC rings
There are people who are taught/believe that it's OK if they get pregnant or if they take bath afterwards that they won't get pregnant, backward stuff like that. My former maid was going through a divorce and then got pregnant by her ex and said, "This is good because it will bring us back together". The getting back together part lasted only a short while.There are alot of poor disenfranchised people.
My 30 year old college educated, graduate degree son, was shocked when his live-in girlfriend was pregnant. I'm like what? How can you be shocked? Apparently she was taking the pill, but she kept forgetting to take it and kept forgetting. (She was in college at the time herself and is smart as a whip) But she kept forgetting her pill. I surmise that she forgot alot more than she remembered.
Sogo
(4,965 posts)but I thought is was my Catholic upbringing, not society in general. We didn't get this kind of indoctrination in public school, because when I was growing up, there was no sex education, except in one assembly where they showed us a couple of short movies about STDs. In Catholic youth group studies, we were taught that sex was for pro-creation only and only within the sanctity of marriage. The only kind of birth control that is recognized in the Catholic church is the "rhythm method." It was always the Catholic families that had the most kids....
I read today that the woman behind the anti-abortion movement in the country is a Catholic. And, of course, six out of the nine Supremes are Catholic....
LeftInTX
(24,560 posts)We had a bit of sex education, but it focused on anatomy. And then there were the super scary VD movies.
California or was it the military (Vandenberg AFB) had the super scariest VD movies. I was more scared of VD than pregnancy..LOL
Sogo
(4,965 posts)I forgot we called it VD in those days....Scared the sh!t out of me, too!
WinstonSmith4740
(3,048 posts)I taught high school Health and PE. Kids tend to open up to us, because we're in more personal contact with them, so I dealt with this stuff both in and out of class. I used to tell them in Health class when I introduced our Sex Ed curriculum that they should be happy we weren't in Texas, because they basically have a few days of a teacher saying, "DON'T HAVE SEX!!!!!" A lot of them didn't believe me. I also NEVER took a day off while I was teaching this, because I was damned if I was going to let a sub I didn't know come in and fuck with their minds or demean them. I had to have parental permission for them to be in the class, but NEVER had an issue with that. People don't want to talk to their kids about sex.
Now, here in Nevada, Sex Ed IS abstinence based and I had no problem telling them that if their goal was to not get pregnant, or contract an STI, then abstinence was the only way to insure that. Everything else had a failure rate. BUT, they also got the most current information on reliable birth control, where to obtain it, how to use it, what the efficacy was, etc. I also used to tell them what to "watch out" for, and that it usually started with "Don't worry, baby...". "I'll pull out in time." No, he can't. "I'll only put it in a little." No, he won't. (Yeah, they're still using those lines ) For the guys..."I'm on the pill" or "I'm on the patch". How do you know?" Are you there when she takes that pill? When did she change that patch last? I also started the program with a review on just how to make GOOD decisions
I've noticed a HUGE difference in the kids' attitudes towards this in the last few years. More and more of them are opting to delay sex, but not for any "religious" or "moral" teaching. They have goals. They want to do something with their lives, and they know nothing will get in the way of their goals faster that an unwanted pregnancy. Of course, that can also because I told them that, oh, about every day. They've also seen their moms, sisters, aunts, etc. get pregnant and abandoned and they don't want that for themselves.
I've never been able to understand why people think the way to solve any problem is ignorance. When I had a parent who expressed any concerns, I went over the curriculum with them, assured them it was abstinence based, BUT, we both know how tough it is to teach your kid how to drive, right? So, seriously...who would you rather teach your kid to drive? One of their 16 year old friends, or a qualified instructor?
Just for grins, I used to use this video in class. I think this guy taught in Louisiana, or someplace where Sex Ed consisted of "Don't have sex!" They loved it.
LeftInTX
(24,560 posts)My HS didn't teach about effective birth control because it was a long time ago in Wisconsin.
They did teach about "rubbers" and how they had holes in them
They did say that pulling out didn't work...
In order words, "Don't do it, unless you are prepared to be a parent"...And back then it was give up your kid for adoption or get married young. We had high pregnancy rates, high drop out rates and high marriage rates. Those were followed by high divorce rates. I always got the impression that many girls got pregnant just to "trap a man". My parents warned me about "trapping a man". I did not want a marriage based on manipulation and not love.
Lots of girls got pregnant with pulling out.....
My kids went to school in Texas.
There is a lot of church based stuff in the OP. I really don't know what my kids learned in sex ed. They certainly didn't learn what the OP learned. They all used birth control. The promise keepers are a church based group. As a matter of fact, I get the impression that she went to a Christian school.
WinstonSmith4740
(3,048 posts)Kids aren't stupid...even though as teenagers, they are hard-wired to take risks due to brain shrinkage. Give them the information they need and the skills to make good decisions and they tend to. I'm a "boomer", so you may be younger than me, but it sounds like we had the same approach in school. We didn't get birth control information, but we were encouraged to think of the consequences before we acted.
One of the things I learned myself when researching for class is that teen pregnancy rates have been dropping since the 90's, even though we still have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world. We're giving them good information, their access is better, and I'm positive that the internet has helped in this, because even if they can't learn it in school, they can still get valid information on line.
LittleGirl
(8,261 posts)this is what I was taught in the 70s with the evangelicals and Catholics. Thankfully, I went to public school and we had sex education in middle school so I knew about planned parenthood.
bucolic_frolic
(42,676 posts)I once chatted in a bar with a young woman who claimed to be maintaining 2 affairs at the same time, and I gathered one of them was 50 Shades of Gray style. I asked her something about the locale, or 'in this town?', and she responded by letting the whole cat out of the bag.
'It's these rich dudes who are so repressed. They're not getting it at home and they don't care how they get it.'
lindysalsagal
(20,441 posts)"But, churches do charity work and comfort people."
Religion is stopping us from ending the virus and ending global warming. Religion ruins lives with shame and hate.
mrsadm
(1,198 posts)Forgive my question, I've lived most of my life in New York.
malthaussen
(17,066 posts)Most of them tend to be in the early spring and are in every state. It would not at all surprise me if there is one in metro NYC as well.
Texin
(2,585 posts)this is one of the main drivers that is decimating church attendance and the overall skepticism about religion in this country. This kind of patriarchal domination and dogma is a huge turnoff for a whole lot of folks; in fact, it's why this country is no longer mainstream churchgoing any longer.
The RQP party want to turn us back to the 1950s when "America was Great".
North Shore Chicago
(3,254 posts)and sociopathic laws overwhelmingly effect and will traumatize, terrorize more females of lower income.
Republicans hate lower income people, especially females of color.
So, what will happen to the babies? Republicans do not want to assist, cut off SNAP benefits, lower WIC benefits......
steve2470
(37,457 posts)This has been a very enlightening thread for me, and hopefully helpful to at least one person.
Farmer-Rick
(10,072 posts)A young friend is currently dating a guy from one of these Christian Talibans. But he has left the community and has been going to therapy to get over his fears and superstitions surrounding sex.
It F*cks over the guys too. Some of them get to thinking that if they have sex, they have to marry the woman. So they may postpone sex well into adulthood, like The 40 Year Old Virgin. It is a sad thing and a sad comment on what religion does to people's heads.
It is just so vile to take away a person's normal sex life.