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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsHow a 13-year-old girl is challenging a 'sexist,' 'racist,' 'classist' school dress code
The night before her first day of eighth grade, Sophia Trevino carefully curated an ensemble typical of girls her age: a white graphic T-shirt, ripped jeans and Air Force 1 sneakers. Her parents and her friends all gave her a stamp of approval.
But minutes into her first day of school, Sophia was sent to the principal's office along with 15 other girls because their attire violated the school's dress code. For Sophia, it was because the rip in her jeans was higher than the tip of her finger when placed next to her thighs.
As nervous as she was while being coded, Sophia said she also felt angry because the jeans she was wearing were one of the few pairs that fit her body shape.
"It's very hard for me to find jeans that fit me," said Sophia, explaining that she has bigger thighs and calves from playing soccer. "I'm not insecure about my body, but someone who wouldn't be as confident would really get hurt by that mentally."
https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/13-year-girl-challenging-sexist-racist-classist-school/story?id=79879689
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I do not think schools understand how aware some kids are. When backed by their parents they can be downright lethal. And dress codes ARE sexist, racist, and classist.
ck4829
(34,976 posts)obamanut2012
(25,911 posts)Most who do not get how sexist, classist, and racist these "dress codes" are.
Thanks for posting!
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,145 posts)obamanut2012
(25,911 posts)Voted Dem, but was weirdly rigid about dress codes, etc. He never listened to my mother or me or my sister, but when my niece was about 15, she blasted him and shamed him, and he has been an advocate for changing dress codes since then.
Jilly_in_VA
(9,852 posts)on the Evanston, IL school dress code. I wish I could find it now. It's amazing. It boils down to "Clean, neat, and cover boobs, belly, and butt." Period. No discussions of shoulders, straps, hairdos, etc.
lark
(23,003 posts)Although that may be implicitly included in the "cover' portion?
mopinko
(69,806 posts)couple years ago there was a big blow up story at the high school over this.
it's a very liberal community, but the school has been nontheless credibly accused of racism for years.
there was outrage. i live just over the border into chicago, and a lot of women i know were talking about showing up in burkahs.
it was a BIG DEAL.
i'm glad they came up w a sensible replacement.
SharonClark
(10,005 posts)But did they leave out "balls"?
sarisataka
(18,216 posts)Where parents were arguing for allowing crop tops in school. So we may be down to boobs and butts
Jilly_in_VA
(9,852 posts)"crop tops" were defined as "if you lift your arms above your head and any part of your stomach shows". REALLY? Also it was pretty much confined to FEMALES. Again.
sarisataka
(18,216 posts)Is such a distinction. They were in favor of shirts that would show bare belly with arms down.
I would not consider a shirt is a shirt that rises up when you lift your arms overrhead to be a crop top. I believe most people would agree. Besides how often would anyone do that in school?
Nor do I dispute that the codes are enforced more against girls than boys but that is not a fault of the code that is a fault of the enforcement.
jimfields33
(15,462 posts)Ive seen some public schools going to uniforms. I think it takes away the social economic problems of kids having to be shamed at what they wear. It takes away from tee shirts that say trump is great nonsense. I like uniforms for kids for school.
HariSeldon
(452 posts)The school provides a single uniform shirt and a semi-casual day school t-shirt to each new student. The parent-support organization provides additional uniform clothing for families in need. Free & reduced lunch rate is higher than the surrounding public schools. This school is a public charter, and I have my qualms about that, but they seem to be the real deal and have a good relationship with the big local school district.
kcr
(15,300 posts)I get the argument, but it was an added burden. Two sets of clothes for two growing boys? The laundry was endless. When we moved and their new school didn't require them it was a huge relief.
jimfields33
(15,462 posts)Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)ridiculous.
Tomconroy
(7,611 posts)Happy to get back to the public high school.
Jilly_in_VA
(9,852 posts)back in the 60s, but they were sort of relaxed about it even then. They never said what kind of ties, or that your top shirt button had to be buttoned, so brother had an assortment of very loud ties. They also never said ANYTHING about socks, so most of the guys didn't wear them, even in winter LOL School is now coed so I think dress code, if any, is much more relaxed.
hlthe2b
(101,714 posts)those ridiculed for being unable to afford the latest "styles," and for those seeking to explore their individualism.
I've always hated the thought of school uniforms, but in some settings and where there are several choices that are essentially non-gendered, comfortable, and appropriately casual , there may be a place for them. Leave the hair, nails, face alone, but let most of the individualism come out on the weekends. I know this is an old-school attitude, but as we see more kids committing suicide from constant bullying and those dying from anorexia as they seek to be the next youtube celebrity, I've had a change of opinion.
mopinko
(69,806 posts)in chicago, in most schools, the kids have to wear white shirts and blue or black pants.
i was grateful for that when my kids were in school.
i was a poor kid, and i literally had few clothes. i never had much fashion sense, either. esp in highschool, i went w some very rich kids.
i was enough of a weirdo w/o the whole clothes thing.
and keeping growing kids in decent clothes is a chore. one i had little energy for.
SharonClark
(10,005 posts)the uniforms as well. They were reasonably priced and the schools offered them for free among the poorer kids.
There was also no angst over keeping up with the rich kids.
mopinko
(69,806 posts)the pta installed laundry machines, and at the end of the year, they put out a big bin for people to put gently used uniforms.
any kid who needed one, or was out of uniform, got sent to the closet.
Jilly_in_VA
(9,852 posts)She said the same thing. But this part is funny.The first couple of years she went there, a lot of the girls were still wearing the plaid uniform skirts. However, they rolled the waistbands so they'd be shorter and wore boxers under them (as one girl told my kid, 'So you don't have to worry about how you sit." . Some time in her late sophomore year, the principal got a wild hair about them showing too much leg, so they all switched to the optional khaki or navy pants with their button-down shirts and that's what she wore for the rest of her high school career.
What she said about uniforms was, "You roll out of bed, jump into your pants, then grab a shirt and hope it's clean, put your shoes and socks on and brush your hair, that's it." Those girls mostly didn't wear makeup either.
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)and other items that are worn...or whether you live in a big house or a small house...it never ends. Most of them get this from their parents.
hlthe2b
(101,714 posts)And as mentioned by others in this subthread, many schools provide the uniforms for free for those unable to purchase them.
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)And I can tell you. There are no free uniforms in Ohio.
hlthe2b
(101,714 posts)of basic colored trousers and tops/shirts is to decrease the body dysmorphia issues. There is a lot of research out there on the issue and yes, it does help, especially when they no longer have to compete with the "in girls" wearing very form-fitting clothing and/or revealing clothing.
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)hlthe2b
(101,714 posts)Since when do we accept what has "always been the case" just because...? I am tired of hearing about young girls (and boys) dying at their own hands as a result of suicide, including my neighbor's own horrendously bullied daughter three years ago. I will gladly join my friends with kids that age to address cyberbullying, in-person bullying, and any other change that can help and that includes the horrendous issue of depression, anorexia/bulimia and body dysmorphia.
Most of us remember the ugly cliques--the "in-crowd," the "mean girls" and all the rest. I find it indefensible that so little has changed but only gotten worse in the decades since most of us experienced it. If uniforms can help, then why the hell not?
El Mimbreno
(777 posts)Florsheim wingtips, about $25 back then. The challenge was who could develop the highest polish.
TexLaProgressive
(12,148 posts)I was born with high arch and instep. These shoes had a lifetime guarantee on the stitching ripping. In a month I went through 3 pairs. The salesman smilingly said, We can just do this every week or so, makes me no never mind, but I can put a shoe of your feet that will work.
Good sense prevailed over style.
BannonsLiver
(16,161 posts)If you wore wrangler jeans rather than Levis or Guess you were mocked. If you wore shirts that were knock offs of polo or Lacoste you were mocked. If your shoes were Keds or some other cheap brand you were mocked. If your watch wasnt a swatch you were mocked. Thats the other side of the uniform debate.
BumRushDaShow
(127,300 posts)That was a popular Philly refrain back in the early '70s, where such ended up on some wires like this -
Someone from Australia actually did a documentary about this - https://abcnews.go.com/ABC_Univision/ABC_Univision/sneakers-wind-telephone-wires-documentary-explains/story?id=20047732
vimeo.com/71867019
AllaN01Bear
(17,365 posts)drugs . cant spell this am. humbug
BumRushDaShow
(127,300 posts)it took on different meanings.
I just remember in the late '60s/early '70s seeing sneakers up on the wires here in Philly - often at the end of a school year. It wasn't anything "drug" or "gang related". It might be nowadays but then I don't see that happening much around here anymore either, probably because of the advent of the $200 sneakers. I think last year I finally saw a pair up on a wire after I don't know how many years.
Elessar Zappa
(13,649 posts)ShazzieB
(15,952 posts)But when I was in school (years ago), it was even worse, because of the requirement for girls to wear dresses, even in the coldest, snowiest weather. I hated that SO much, especially walking home from school in the wintertime. (My dad took me to school on his way to work, but I had to walk home.)
Of course, there were rules about skirt length, and there were girls who were sent home over their skirts being too short,, but I never had a problem with that, as long as we could wear them above the knees. It was being forced to wear dresses and skirts all the time that I resented.
Klaralven
(7,510 posts)Parents know what to buy, and it largely eliminates competition among students based on attire.
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)niyad
(112,434 posts)SweetieD
(1,660 posts)codes in schools.
BannonsLiver
(16,161 posts)Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)this in Georgia schools. And boys in hole-ridden jeans are not sent to the office in my experience...definitely sexist. In Georgia, I went to pick up my daughter who was being sent home and she was the only white girl in the entire office- there were maybe 10 or 12 girls in all-no boys. I had passed a number of white girls in the hall who also violated the dress code. This idiot math teacher disliked my daughter for some reason...no idea why. and I know for a fact he targeted minorities for this and other offenses.
It was a battle the entire year. He was a terrible teacher and actually sent home answer sheets with the wrong answers. My daughter was a gifted math student and now has a degree in mathematics and accounting. She graduated Summa Cum Laude and will have her CPA in January. I honestly think he was threatened by her. They used to work in pairs and no kid would work with my daughter as it was a guaranteed bad grade. I was teaching Calculus that year...and he informed me at a parent-teacher event that women just were not that good at Algebra and math in particular.
He made racist remarks in front of the students, belittled others. He even made racist/sexist remarks to some parents also. He used to catch bugs like spiders or roaches and pin them still alive to the bulletin board and let them die. He was a monster. I forbid DD to stay after in class for any reason alone with this guy. I tried to get her out but the other classes were full. The point is the dress code is used as a weapon against girls, People of color, and any student who might be on a teacher's shit list. This guy was a bad teacher and a bad person.
He tried to fail my daughter for attendance, she had needed surgery as she had a really bad ovarian cyst. We had doctor notes. But it was left up to the teacher's discretion. I had documented everything and complained as well too throughout the year. Thus, I went to the school board and stopped him once and for all. We moved that year and I heard later he left the school...good! That guy should not be near any classroom. In the end, he got what he deserved but how many young women. Black kids or students he disliked did he hurt? A dress code is often used as a weapon against students for one reason or the other.
WhiskeyGrinder
(22,145 posts)sarisataka
(18,216 posts)This weekend. They were ripped very high. Her underwear was blue; I am glad she was wearing underwear.
Maybe I'm sexist but that shouldn't have been in public let alone school.
milestogo
(16,829 posts)but not in the back.
It was interfering with my learning.
Mosby
(16,163 posts)I don't like the torn jean trend. Most retail stores explicitly ban them in the employee dress code.
bucolic_frolic
(42,668 posts)It would create an awareness and responsibility.
I know, what kind of work. Job interview type dress. A line should be drawn between Sat night date dress and civilized society. There. That should raise some hackles.
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)to be tattoos would cost you opportunities...I warned all my kids. My daughter got a great new accounting job (big raise and they pay for her CPA) and the boss who hired her was tattooed; she couldn't wait to tell me (brat).
jaxexpat
(6,702 posts)Bring it on, "stylistas".
Demsrule86
(68,348 posts)And yes, I am interested in fashion.
Tadpole Raisin
(972 posts)striped top. Gag! Very unfair and just plain stupid.
I dont like uniforms but agree that avoiding a lot of brand name expensive clothes is a good thing. You are there to learn anyway and the poor kids dont have options.
Kids were cruel back then and dress codes made no sense. Variations on a theme today.
Good for her!
ShazzieB
(15,952 posts)Those one piece gymsuits were the bane of my existence in high school! I was short waisted AND pear-shaped, and they NEVER fit me right! A one piece anything that's fitted, never works if you're a different size on the top than on on the bottom. My gymsuit was always baggy on top, because of the nice my butt and thighs required. Being short waisted made it even worse, because there was too much length in the top half, in addition to 5oo much width. Add in a heaping helping of body dysphoria, and you have a recipe for misery!
To top it off, there was a hidden band of elastic around each leg of the shorts (and that stuff PINCHED) because God forbid somebody might get a peek up your pants leg! Mind you, gym was all girls with a woman teacher back then. Coed gym classes were off in the distant future, but MODESTY still reigned supreme!
The only things worse than those gymsuits were the required nude showers after every gym class, with the teacher watching, clipboard in hand, ready to give you a black mark if you didn't get under the shower sans towel for at least a moment or two.
Thinking back, I'm amazed that I managed to survive high school without killing myself. I can't think of many things that would be more triggering for a girl with severe body dysphoria than having to get naked in front of her classmates every day. (We had gym 5 days a week st that school.)
Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)
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AllaN01Bear
(17,365 posts)Jon King
(1,910 posts)Of course its not for everyone and many would not be able to do it, but boy am I glad we do. I guess I am biased because I always thought every minute back in school was torture and a prison. I want my kids to be independent like I was, started my first little business at 12 years old. Our goal is that they go from homeschooling right into their own business so they never have to take crap from any teacher, administrator, or boss.