I have lost so many friends this election season

[rbrnmw]

People I grew up with, had slumber party's with, hung out with hours on end. It really hurts I even posted an Olive Branch not a single response it hurts deeply that these people who I would never dream of being angry with because of politics have now shunned me. I won't apologize for who I am and I will keep fighting for Democrats until I die. I just needed a friendly shoulder to cry on

here is what I posted to my friends

To All My Friends Though We May Have a Different Political Leaning or We Practice a Different Religion or No Religion I Love You All and Appreciate Everyone of You With Love, Robin

[redwitch]

1. Sorry to hear this.

Everyone is so overwrought now, not sure what will happen after the election but I hope we can heal.

[rbrnmw]

4. Me too

It hurts like hell when even someone you considered your best friend for 31 years won't even speak to you anymore

[beac]

10. .

I know you are sad, but you deserve a much better best friend than that.

[movonne]

47. It is like the civil war times...brother against brother...

[Historic NY]

2. Don't worry it happens to all of us.

[oldtime dfl_er]

3. I'm sorry

Look deep inside yourself and take strength from your convictions. You are fighting on the side of right and good, and in the end that will reward you.

[OldDem2012]

5. This may sound harsh, but if they're shunning you now, they weren't real friends before. nt.

[Fresh_Start]

6. They weren't real friends

or else you could have discussion and disagreement and still love one another.

[quinnox]

7. maybe try an apology

not sure what the story is, but maybe they got offended in some way (maybe you came on too strong for example) so an apology might help.

[rbrnmw]

13. I won't apologize for who I am

or for my convictions No I won't be apologizing

[quinnox]

20. just a suggestion

it doesn't sound like these were real close friends then, if you rule out an apology. So no big loss in that case.

[rbrnmw]

24. Oh yes a very dear friend in my eyes anyway nt

[Blanks]

30. Was it Fox News? Hate Radio? eom

[bluestate10]

35. Are you kidding? They don't seem to like her progressive politics. nt

[Darth_Kitten]

56. I suggest subtle yet on target Facebook posts....

These people can't help but lurk.

I'm in a take no prisoners kind of mood.

[Darth_Kitten]

54. False friends don't deserve this much effort.

God, do we always have to appease the bullies and selfish assholes on this planet?

[ruffburr]

8. Ever consider they weren't your friends in the first place?-

Just acquaintances? Repubs accept no true friends that don't follow the party line, So fuck them

[monmouth]

9. "Never say you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness." ~ Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

[Paladin]

67. A Quote From "NCIS"? Really?

Sorry, I couldn't resist......

[monmouth]

71. HA! It just came to mind..n/t

[kimbutgar]

11. I lost a longtime friend who has gone tea party evangelical Israel first friend also

It really hurts that she is so far gone. She goes to church several times a week and thinks president Obama is Satan.

[lunatica]

12. Many families and friends have been torn apart since Bush

I think most of us have lost family and friends over the hard right turn this country took.

[KauaiK]

14. They were not true friends

True friends are there no matter what and respect differences. True friends love you for who you are; not your religion, color of skin, occupation, lifestyle, sex, things. False friends require a homogeneous sameness. Seek out those who honor who you are.

[Wildcat1955]

15. Sad

That is sad indeed. I admire you for the strength of your convictions. You must be who you are, and you can only hope that others have the wisdom to accept that in time. I would continue to reach out with love and hope after the election that they'll be more sensitive in their treatment of you.
If not, one can always make new friendships with those who think more similarly.

[GoneOffShore]

16. You posted well. They ignored you. ipso facto They weren't really your friends.

[sling438]

17. Stay strong!

Stay strong, Robin.

We all may have different opinions but should recognize that we're Americans. Win or lose this election, I'll always be able to defend my vote for B.O.

The Akron, Ohio paper had a forum on civility in politics. We got together with people who have differing views. It does give me hope, even though I was in the minority.

[DonRedwood]

18. me too, but we can't be silent.

[Sebass1271]

19. Hugs

Keep strong. You are in the right side of history and good. Get new friends who like you have your convictions.

[brewens]

21. What I do hasn't cost me any friends. I post some political stuff of my own

and positive comments on posts I agree with. I leave friends of mine posting pro-Romney stuff alone. I'll attack anti-obama posts but not the poster and I avoid saying anything that would lead someone to feel I'm calling them stupid. Some of my stuff definitely calls FOX "News' and hate radio fans stupid. If that offends anyone, they must just put me on ignore. I know of no one that unfriended me over it. This of course referring to Facebook stuff.

IRL discussions I will avoid with most people. The one thing is that if I see the "angry face" when discussing politics, I'm done. That's the reaction of so many conservatives. You can't get through to someone like that. I figure we were always friends and some day the polarization may fade. No need to lose friends over it just yet.

[PatSeg]

22. I'm trying to put a lot of things on hold

until AFTER the election. I'm careful to avoid political discussions with some friends and relatives. However, I did "unfriend" one relative and one friend without second thought a few days ago. They both "liked" a page called Caucasians for Romney and I don't see that as political, I see it as racist.

Actually the page was really called Caucasions for Romney. Evidently the person who created the page does not have spell-check.

[ReasonableToo]

42. yup, not seeking interactions with in laws...

...they had a tea party flag flying last year and went to Beck's rally in DC. My stomach turns every time I see one wearing Beck's "9-12" shirt. Years ago they bought into the tobacco industry's move to get gun owners to stand with smokers over "smoker's rights"

I was hopeful though because during the transition b/w Bush and Obama they acknowledged that Bush wrecked everything and Obama had a tough job ahead but now they're falling for all the RW ploys.

[PatSeg]

52. It is unnerving for me

to find out that people I've known most, if not all of my life, identify with the Tea Party. On one hand I ask "How can that be possible?" but then I find out that they watch FOX News religiously. They are truly brainwashed and it is scary.

I belong to a few political groups on Facebook and I express my political views there. I can't and won't argue with anyone who gets their information from FOX and Rush.

[ReasonableToo]

66. Tried to talk single payer ...

... when one complained about AHA. They have a small business so I thought they might like the idea of rates going down with one big pool and not being on the hook for employees insurance. I got the "some people don't have skin in the game" line and it got pretty intense. So now I try to avoid discussions. They are just not open minded.

Yup, FOX is a pretty good litmus test. If they believe all that they're not open to reality.

[PatSeg]

79. It can be so frustrating

I think many of them had decided to be divisive before they even knew what they believed - "Whatever THEY believe, I believe the opposite."

FOX knows what it is doing. It created a need and then proceeded to feed it on a daily basis. Though they may appear to be outrageous, they truly are masters of propaganda.

[Populist_Prole]

51. Yeah I'm more or less avoiding contact with conservative friends/family till after the election

Without the hype of such a polarizing election, thoughts won't be so politically dominated anymore and I figure they'll calm down, accept the outcome, and just get on with life.

.....Hopefully....

[PatSeg]

57. I figure they'll go back to watching

Dancing with the Stars and American Idol. Eventually FOX will lose its appeal and people surviving on an island or housewives in New Jersey will be more interesting. Politics is just their latest reality show.

[Populist_Prole]

65. I figure much the same

Other than a couple of paranoid wingnuts, most will realize the sun will indeed rise the next day and the world will still spin round and round. That notion might be further solidified by the fact that if things get no worse for them personally, or even improve, they'll have to conclude just that unless they want to get an ulcer from all the cognitive dissonance.

[PatSeg]

78. In this case

short attention spans may be a blessing. Meanwhile, FOX News and Rush are running out of ways to make politics interesting (outrageous). If you repeatedly exaggerate events, eventually it becomes so ridiculous that only the deranged will buy into it.

[CrispyQ]

61. Caucasions in Amercia for Romney!

I love it!

[PatSeg]

63. Started by "ANONOMYS"

From the page:

"I STARTED THIS ORGANIZATION BECAUSE OF THE DOUBLE STANDARD IN THIS COUNTRY. I KNOW THIS WILL CAUSE AN UPROAR. ITS OKAY FOR THE PRESIDENT TO CREATE AN ORGANIZATION CALLED “AFRICAN-AMERICANS FOR OBAMA” AND TO HAVE “BLACK ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION”. BUT IF WE WANTED A “WHITE ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION” WE BE CALLED RACIST. IT IS TIME TO TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK.

I'M TIRED OF THE SOCIALISTS IN WASHINGTON THAT ARE DRIVING US TOWARDS BANKRUPTCY. MITT ROMNEY MAY NOT BE THE PERFECT CHOICE, BUT AT LEAST HE HAS HELD A PRIVATE SECTOR JOB. HE KNOWS HOW TO CREATE JOBS. HE KNOWS HOW TO GET SPENDING UNDER CONTROL. HE WILL RUN THIS COUNTRY LIKE ITS A BUSINESS THAT CAN'T CONTINUE RUNNING HUGE DEFICETS.

WE NEED TO GET RID OF THE “ENTITLMENT” MENTALITY. IT STARTS WITH KEEPING SCORE AND NOT GIVING PARTICIPATION TROPHIES IN LITTLE LEAGUE. IF YOU DONT WHEN YOU DONT GET A TROPHY, PERIOD. THAT WILL ACCOMPLISH TWO GOALS: (1) IT TEACHES KIDS HOW TO HANDLE DISSAPPOINTMENT (THE SOONER THE BETTER); AND (2) IT WILL TEACH THEM TO WORK HARD TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES AND THEIR TEAMATES.

BUT THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. THERE WILL BE TOUGH DECISIONS AHEAD. ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIGHT? IF YOU ARE, PLEASE JOIN OUR CAUSE."

Well, as for "entitlments", I personally believe ALL people are entitled to spell-check!!! The page was started in March of this year and they have all of 30 likes already.

[LibDemAlways]

23. Real friends don't let political differences of opinion get in the way.

If people are shunning you over politics, it's their loss, not yours.

[BlueCaliDem]

25. If ultra-con Scalia can attend operas with ultra-liberal Bader-Ginsberg

then those people you considered friends should have been able to remain friends with you. It appears they have never been friends with you to begin with. I know, it's a painful truth, but it is the truth.

My sympathies, rbrnmw. But you'll make new ones now.

[Frances]

26. I sometimes walk with a fundamentalist neighbor

When she told me that many years ago Henry Kissinger and Bill Clinton decided to groom Obama to be President so that the U.S. could be a part of a new world order, I thought she was so brainwashed by the Christian (?) radio station she used to work for that I would not be able to walk with her anymore.

But then she told me that I was too good of a friend for us not to walk and that we would avoid politics in the future. My neighbor has serious health problems, so I do walk with her sometimes. But of course we do not talk politics.

[southernyankeebelle]

29. I found if I see someone shares different politics I tell them that if we are going to be

friends we will not talk politics or religion. It usually works but if that person brings up politics when they already were told I didn't want to talk politics then I get up and tell them I am going home if they continue.

[OkieGranny]

27. So sorry

I know it hurts. I keep thinking of A. Lincoln saying a house divided against itself cannot stand, and look at us -- divided right down the middle. Hopefully, Obama's leadership over next four years will go a long way toward opening people's eyes and healing some of those rifts.

[Tigress DEM]

28. Sorry to hear that, but once the world doesn't end (again) when a black man is US Pres....

Things will lighten up a bit.

My strategy with most of my friends and relatives is to post my likes etc... but do everything I can to NOT shut them down or be harsh about their opinions. It isn't easy.

I reach out with love whenever I can to them as people and I present facts and ask them to make up their own minds. I say I don't agree, but I don't spend a lot of time arguing about stuff with them.

I avoid my FB when I need to be wildly upset about what is going on in this cycle. That's part of why I'm here a lot again. lol

[rbrnmw]

31. It wasn't over any comments I've made

it was over Pictures I posted that I took at the Athens Ohio Rally

[rock]

32. Keep in mind that the CONservatives represent a failed party

Their party might be very successful in a country with a Fascist Government but they are distinctly out of place in a Democracy. They have gradually become defunct. Their very philosophical underpinnings grate on those of us that embrace a Democracy, especially that part about counting the votes. Because of this the RepubliCONs have to lie, cheat, steal, and use other extra-legalistic measures to get their politicians in office. Why, I even recall once they installed an unelected president! In any case I have no sympathy for anyone who supports that party.

[bluestate10]

33. Do phone bank work for your local Democrats. Go to their rallies and canvas for them.

You will find lots of real friends that are fighting for the same things that you are.

[rbrnmw]

34. I would like to blame Rush Limbaugh or Fox News but at the end of the day

it's the person who would be angry at a few pictures posted of a rally that I made no polical comment about just that I went , who is at fault not them. I do wish that the Limbaugh's of the world would go away and quit spreading hate

[Surya Gayatri]

60. ..."it's the person who would be angry at a few pictures posted of a rally"...

who is at fault.

You're right and she's wrong. It's that simple.

It may be a form of temporary mental derangement, due to electoral angst.

Or her mental processes may have been permanently skewed by constant exposure to RW hate.

You won't know for some time. But, if it's any comfort to you, just imagine she's away and out of touch for the duration.

[Baitball Blogger]

36. Hang in there Robin.

We're all in the same boat.

As they said in the Money Game. "I know you are taking it in the teeth, but the first guy through the wall... he always gets bloody... always."

[Frustratedlady]

37. You aren't alone. We can only hope that if (God help us) Romney wins,

they will come crawling back and apologize. Until then, I'm just letting them be mad. It has certainly opened my eyes to who is bigoted and who isn't. I've also been able to say my piece to those friends who are devout Christians. They certainly aren't showing what they were taught. I think many of the rabid followers of Romney are doing it because of the Israel issue and have convinced themselves the end of the world is near.

On the other side of the coin, we have the wonderful people on DU and those remaining friends who agree with us.

Buck up! We have another election in two years!

[Kookaburra]

38. The saddest part of this is

you were a true friend to these people, but they weren't true friends to you.

If you've become persona non grata to these folks simply because of your political leanings, that tells me they were never truly your friends.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this -- it seems we've all suddenly become keenly aware of our true friends.

[cosmicone]

39. You seem like a wonderful person

I'd consider it their loss to lose you.

You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel sorry about.

When they realize what they have lost, some of them (although not all) will reconcile with you after the election.

[femrap]

40. You're better

off. I've lost friends as well....and found that when it comes to it, I can look in the mirror and still see integrity instead of some 2-faced person.

You sent out good Karma.

[The Second Stone]

41. Robin, I have made wonderful friends over the years

at local democratic clubs and doing phone banking and such. It is also important to have friends who are completely non-political. As people who are activists, we know that our participation in democracy is one of the most important activities in life, but that sometimes gets us out of balance with those who enjoy life but not politics. This is in no way a criticism as I don't think you have done anything wrong. But putting all one's eggs eggs in the political basket can get things really out of whack.

[tomg]

43. It's a tough one.

I have some old and dear friends from way back and two of them are very far right wing. It has been tough. Maybe after the election things will go back to being better. In my case, I almost cut things short with one of them over the election and religion together. We are not the only ones fighting for what we believe in as though our lives depend on it. I guess I was like one of your friends, and I was going to pick the friendship up again after the election. See what happens. I got an olive branch from him. I almost didn't pick up the olive branch he offered, not because I didn't care about him but because I did. Give it some time.

[bhikkhu]

44. The fundamental difference I have found -

is that anyone can have a circle of friends they get along with, family they would do anything for, and a group they identify with, belong to and defend. Thats always and everywhere been the case.

The difference now is that, over the past three hundred years or so, "liberalism" has developed as an idea and a behavior, and as a way of approaching the world through politics. It would say most simply: "All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood." Obama reiterated this recently at his speech at the UN - we are all everywhere equal in dignity and rights.

The fundamental difference is that the GOP and their adherents don't buy into it, not in how they think, nor how they behave, nor how they govern or plan to govern. They are throwbacks to a simpler and more primitive way of being human. In some sense, every child born starts from scratch, and goes through all the stages of human development, but not everyone develops past the stage of belonging to one group while hating, fearing and distrusting all other groups.

I live in a GOP dominated county, and I do ok by staying out of little disagreements, but at every opportunity pointing out how we as people are mostly the same everywhere...

[just1voice]

45. Be glad you don't have torture supporters as friends anymore

You'll have a much better life now.

[Flashmann]

46. lost so many friends this election season

Me too.....It bothered me for a while,until this thought struck me....

They have every right to vote against their best interests...They have every right to be uninformed or misinformed....But what they intend to vote for is detrimental,even destructive to MY best interests,which are,to varying degrees,mostly what the Progressive movement stands for...

Then I was struck by,WHY would a friend vote for something that harms me,a supposed friend,and even,though he can't see it,harms himself?.....The logical reason is that a FRIEND would NOT do that.....

That epiphany was extremely liberating and my Christmas card list got measurably shorter...

I don't worry any more about what one of them might think,since they've very ably displayed that they DON'T think.......

[Jennicut]

48. My own parents are conservatives but we deeply love each other.

I would never not be friends with my parents because of their politics. I don't agree with them but we do agree to let it go after we argue about politics and still remain loyal to each other as family members. I am 36 and they know I won't change my mind by now. They are both 65 and I know they are set in their ways. But if someone really loves you, they accept your differences. I am really sorry these friends of yours couldn't do that for you. You deserve better.

[JohnnyRingo]

49. I still have a few Republican friends.

They're the one's I call "thoughtful Republicans" and I try hard not to insult them and maintain the relationship. We do have spirited discussions, but we keep it respectful and mutual. I keep it in the back of my mind not to try to convert them.

If there are friends you really want to keep, remind them (and yourself) that this election will be over one day soon and we all have to go on as room mates in the same country.

I suggest you watch this Kid Rock/Sean Penn video and pass it on to those who meant the most to you:

You won't agree with some of it, and neither will your lost friends, but the message is hard to ignore. If this doesn't make them rethink the value of friendships, fuck 'em.

[rbrnmw]

55. thanks for the video

[EmeraldCityGrl]

50. Lost my life long friend during the Bush years.

We had pledged never to let politics come between us. When her
20 yr. old son came out to me before telling her she lost it. From
that point on it was constant digs every opportunity she had. I realized
when real life events that defined our political differences happened
she was unable to keep that pledge. I did everything possible to explain
I could not betray the trust he had in me.

I look back now and realize that the love I had for her blinded me to
her bigotry, racism and lack of compassion. I'm so sorry you have to
go thru such a painful experience.

[IL Lib]

53. I don't have any republican family, friends, or associates at all.

Never have. Primarily due to me being African-American.

It's admirable that you have held to your convictions. As a lot have said, they couldn't have been true friends in the first place. At least you are genuinely upset and have tried to reach out. You have done your part. Meeting respectful or like-minded people may be the route to take.

[rbrnmw]

58. Thanks for all the comments

I tried to call one of my friends but she didn't answer it went to voicemail I told her nothing could ever make me love her any less and to call me when she had time but I have little hope of getting a phone call back her inbox to me pretty much said all I think she will ever say to me again and that was that had she known I had such radical views we would have never been friends to begin with.

[otohara]

59. Welcome To The Club

lost my best friend when she voted for Bush in 2000 and thought what they did in Florida was "fair". It took a several years, but her 3rd husband turned her in to a GOP'er.

then the other day, out of the fucking blue, I get an email from an old old boyfriend who lives in Singapore felt the need to write me to lash out about Obama and Joe Biden. He knows I had polio and am on SSDI now - lashed out at those 47%, forgetting I'm one of them.

[Festivito]

62. What did they say?

[LiberalAndProud]

64. I am sorry.

When we are finally exhausted from all the hate, perhaps we will finally move forward. There may be a day when your friendships can be renewed. I hope for that. Compromise in these times has become a filthy word. Truth is, we all need to relearn that art, because we can't deport or execute every single soul who disagrees with our views. We are polarized and divided along ideological lines and that is destructive. Friendships may be the least of the casualties.

On days I'm able to take the long view, I know that we will come through this. Perhaps we are watching the death agony of antiquated ways of thinking. There are those who will always object to a changing society. Even so, our society does evolve. Do what you can to work toward healing. Take solace in being the better, more loving, more forgiving person. Some days that's the best we can do.

[Zorra]

68. I"m LGBT, and don't allow republicans in my circle. I have learned to never trust any of them.

Looks like you are in the process of learning this same lesson.

People who believe, and put into practice what republicans believe, and put into practice, have warped personal, ethical standards and are never really your friends.

Look at the bright side ~ you most likely have avoided several devastating betrayals because these acquaintances kicked you to the curb.

[Motown_Johnny]

69. I reconnected with some old friends last Saturday at a friend's 50th birthday party

and one of them asked me, within the first few minutes, if I was a Republican. I forget exactly what led to that question but my surprised and somewhat nervous answer was "No, actually I am rather far to the Left".

At that point there were smiles and I was told "Well then, we are going to get along just fine".


It turns out that the woman I was speaking with went out, on her birthday (Nov. 6th) in 2008, with a cast on her leg, walking door to door canvasing for Barack Obama. We are now trying to keep in touch, just a few texts so far. So nice to reconnect with someone who leans my way.

Just thought I would share a happy story. They really are out there. Don't lose hope.

[reformist2]

70. Just out of curiosity, what was the main issue that caused bad feelings?

[rbrnmw]

74. Pictures I uploaded from my phone from a recent Obama Rally

and just things like what President Obama has accomplished there were some rude comments I deleted but and then noticed that I had a few less friends but what really hurt was my best friend told me I was a radical and has now unfriended me on fb after she told me If she had known I was a radical she would have never stayed friends with me this long via inbox so I posted the message hoping she would understand I still loved her and held no ill will toward her for a political belief

[reformist2]

76. Oh wow, that's horrible. :(

[Raine]

72. A REAL friend would accept your olive branch to not let difference divide you. After all you are

cutting them slack and willing to still be friends even though they think like idiots. Who the hell are they to not be willing to accept the different opinions you have from them when you are willing to accept theirs. It should be a two way street ...

[Bigmack]

73. I'm old....

... I haven't got time for "friends" who support the current Repubs.

Please note... I'm not talking about the Repub party of old.

The Teabaglicans are a new breed. They say crazy shit in public now that they only said to each other in small groups.

I would rather die alone than have those people as friends.

[LadyHawkAZ]

75. I am an atheist and a flaming liberal Dem

my best friend is a Mormon and a Romney supporter. Politics and religious discussion have been put on the verboten list, otherwise we'd be at each other's throats. I am sorry your friends have not been able to cope. Hang in there for a couple more weeks, and things should get better.

[fadedrose]

77. Well, one good thing..

You found out just how stupid they are. Little by little life will throw them some curves and they may just call and say, "Hey, you were right!"

[reflection]

80. .

I'm right there with you. Have lost a few friends myself. And I just got back from getting yelled at by my dad and sister. This election is making people crazy. I'm ready for it to be over. Like you, I won't back down. But it makes me feel horrible inside that all these relationships of mine are damaged.

[hrmjustin]

81. So sorry you are feeling down. I hope you and your friends make-up.

[Darkhawk32]

82. Thirty-year friendship down the drain here.