Got a letter from my sister in Tennessee.

[captain queeg]

She’s dying of cancer. I’d told my other sister I’d like to go back and visit her while she is still able to function, and she apparently told the TN sister. I wish she hadn’t said anything because she is hoping I’ll come. I talked to her recently and said I wasn’t planning on traveling while Covid is still raging. She wrote, as she’d told me when we talked, that all the Covid stuff are lies told by the left wing media. She also wanted to discuss the Bible with me. I’d like to see her but I can’t imagine being stranded there for a couple days. Of all my family she is the only one who is totally brainwashed by the RW nut jobs. Her daughter is there taking care of her and she is a flaming RWer, between the two of them I don’t think I could take it. It’s sad when politics drives a family apart. I’m trying to think of a way I could see her briefly, but I don’t think I’m willing to spend a thousand bucks for a trip there and back for a one day visit.

By the way she says all the deaths are at nursing homes and their deaths are falsely be attributed to Covid when it was from other things. And, her daughter has her convinced that there is no need for masks, you just have to wear gloves everywhere (so I guess she’s not totally denying Covid) and sanitize surfaces. From what I understand it’s the infections which are airborne, and catching Covid from touching some surfaces exceedingly rare. Anyway, I’m just sharing a frustrating situation.

[msongs]

1. send a card and a heartfelt note nt

[No Vested Interest]

20. And send some photos of you and her, family, etc.

if you can.
Continue talking by phone regularly. Make the phone calls brief, but kind, if she goes off the deep on her ideologies.
Remind her of instances in your youth when she and family had good times..

[LakeArenal]

2. It is a dilemma. My 2 cents is you have to think of your personal welfare.

Other than support and love there’s not much you can do for her. However, your health might well be compromised.

Skype is almost like being there. The words and emotions are the same. Also, no masked required.

[Klaralven]

3. The 7-day moving average of new cases has dropped from 9413 on 9/12 to 3551 today in TN

Depending on how fast she's declining, you might want to wait another week or two.

[secondwind]

4. Have a ZOOM visit with her.

[MLAA]

8. That was going to be my suggestion.

[tblue37]

5. Facetime.

[Croney]

6. What I've done is use FaceTime with people I don't really want to see in person.

If she can't do it herself, someone else could use their phone for it. You can talk to her as long as you can stand it, and she'll feel that you're giving her attention. Much cheaper and safer.

[ZonkerHarris]

13. and you can always hang up when you've had enough.

[OAITW r.2.0]

7. Your situation sucks, Captain.

I agree with others, Zoom, Whatsapp, or Facetime is probably the best options.

[SheltieLover]

9. Give her a call

[mopinko]

10. i understand your dilemma. i dont get along w everyone in my family either,

but only you can answer the question- how much will you regret it if you dont go.
one of my rules for life is that i have way more regrets for the things i didnt do than the things i did. so, do the thing whenever you can. i'm still sorry a out that cello player i didnt do.

me, it would depend on which sister. the only rw'er in the family is the oldest. we were very close when i was younger, she's rly the one that raised me. i wouldnt want to have to have 4 words w her hubs, who is the one who did that to her, but i would try very hard to get to see her if i knew it was my last chance.
another sister, well, i would not break a sweat.

[Skittles]

11. can you Skype call with her, captain queeg?

that would seem like a good option

[bluestarone]

12. Sorry to hear this

I hope something works out for you. I join the others here saying call or have a Zoom meeting. I can honestly say IF it were me, i would NO WAY visit my siblings under your circumstances.

[KentuckyWoman]

14. Hopefully getting it out helps you decide.

You are right, there is a health risk involved in going. Your quandry is not easy to sort out.

Whatever you decide, I hope you can to get some space. A hotel nearby if you can. Taxi might be cheaper than rental cars at the moment if you have to fly. Take old pictures with you and "remember that time when" if you can ... might help cut down how much politics eats up your time.

[Jon King]

15. We can never forget they are attempting to destroy the democracy and the climate.

Even with family, we can not forget that every single right winger is trying to deny climate change which will destroy the planet and they are pushing the big lie which will destroy democracy.

This is no longer about a debate over prayer in schools or gay wedding cakes....our RW family members are trying to destroy everything. Frankly, a Skype call is more than I would give.

[CanonRay]

16. These family situations are as horrendous as they are needless

So sorry for your situation

[Turbineguy]

17. That's why there's ZOOM.

There are all kinds of reasons for a virtual visit. They do not have to be political. As I like to say to my European relatives, every time we visit using ZOOM or Skype, I feel like I just saved $1200 bucks.

Dividing the country is the task of wing-nuts in service to Putin.

[Demobrat]

18. Is it feasible at all to drive there?

Having a car you can jump into and escape in at any time might help. That and a motel room so you can control your comings and goings and not have to be there 24/7.

After she’s gone you’ll be glad you did it.

[Evolve Dammit]

19. I really feel for you situation. I agree with video visit. That level of ignorance is scary. But I

understand the family need to connect and say goodbye. Tough call but I'd do remote. You can always follow-up with a visit if you want to and feel safe if she's still with you. Best wishes

[Thunderbeast]

21. All they have is their anger and their religious delusions.

It is SO difficult to see the world through the lens of their worldview. She wants one last chance to confirm her religious convictions by hoping you will use this powerful moment to validate her beliefs.

Stay true to your own convictions. If their combined agenda is to vent their grievances when they perceive that the impending death imparts some kind of power, decline the debate. Say your goodbyes, but don't take the bait.

[Fla Dem]

22. A very difficult situation. I feel for you.

As others have suggested, use zoom, FaceTime or other video system to speak with your sister. Zoom was, not sure it still does, offer the 1st hour free. It pretty easy to use.

Let her know as much as you love her (?) and are devastated about her situation, you cannot risk visiting in person as she and her daughter are not vaccinated. She made the decision not to be vaccinated otherwise you’d be there by her side.

I hope hope however the future unfolds, you’ll be able to say your good byes and be at peace.

[AverageOldGuy]

23. My son . . .

. . . is a totally brainwashed rightwing nutter. His wife is normal. They have two sons -- our only grandchildren -- 14 and 11.

We must all walk on eggshells around him, which puts huge strain on us. My wife is in early dementia and I never know what she will say, so, when we are with our son, I'm nervous and tense, fearing that she will say something to set him off.

He had a felony conviction, served time and probation, and has had his right to own firearms restored -- and he has damn near a houseful of guns. He is convinced that a civil war is coming and he will be one of the saviors of the nation, killing "libs." I point out to him that his parent are libs . . . and he changes the subject.

Now I learn he went to his boys' school last week to deliver something to one of the boys , no mask, the school requires masks. Got into a shouting match with the police officer who is the school resource officer, dared the police officer to arrest him. Fortunately, the officer stayed calm and defused things. Embarrassed the hell out of the boys.

I have no idea how this will work out, but, wife and I are both pushing 80. I don't dare confront him because (1) I won't change his twisted mind, and, (2) I don't want to be cut off from my grandsons.

If I could get Fox, OAN, Breitbart, PJMedia, and the like in my gunsights . . . .

[Karadeniz]

24. They have made their circumstances a danger to any sane person. They are selfish; have they

Promised to stay masked at all times if you came? I doubt it. Tell her you can speak regularly by phone or computer camera. I'm truly sorry that you have a sister who has placed you in this position. I suspect they are lacking in respect for others.

[forthemiddle]

25. It's your sister

She’s dying. Only you can decide if you ever want to see her again.
No judgments, just reality. Just remember it is a decision You will live with the rest of your life.

[dsc]

26. It is a horrible position to be in

I wish you all the best. Numbers in the mid south (Tennessee and NC) are getting better but that doesn't solve the rest.

[orleans]

27. um--if you want my opinion keep reading this post

i don't think you should go

the fact that delta is no stranger to tennessee & these people sound like they'd give you a lot of shit if you walked in their house with a mask on (and no gloves? gasp!). no thanks.

i'm sorry your sister is sick and dying. i don't think you should risk getting covid (even if you're vaxxed) to travel anywhere

"Tennessee sees decrease in COVID cases, but deaths sharply rising; doctors say remain vigilant
https://www.wkrn.com/news/tennessee-sees-decrease-in-covid-cases-but-deaths-sharply-rising-doctors-say-remain-vigilant/

nope. nope. nope. don't go.

upthread people have been saying it might be a good alternative to zoom, facetime, skype, etc. which i think is absolutely a FAR better idea than traveling.

i was also going to say you should consider your health & age & if you have any health problems. but, you know--i guess that doesn't really matter to delta since it has killed younger people who were perfectly healthy before they got covid.

also--you're right about the surfaces and the virus being airborne.

[mushroomhunter]

28. not safe

Apparently they will not mask if you visit - the virus is airborne. You would be wise not to expose yourself to these people and all their contacts who do not observe safety measures. Short frequent calls and facetime visits would help bridge the distance gap and keep you safe. It might help to send her frequent cards and pictures too. Be sure and praise the daughter for her care of your sister. Send flowers for both of them - they will appreciate it and you will be glad for it. Be well.

[Joinfortmill]

29. So sorry.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

30. My fear equal to COVID would be getting into a horrible fight....

over politics or their denial of this pandemic. That's why I no longer go to my native state of Tennessee to visit former friends, high school chums and a lot of extended family. In a morbid sort of way, I'm glad most of my closest family have passed well before the pandemic.

The right-wing element of our nation is destroying everything dear to us by dividing us. Close-knit families, brotherhoods and communities are what built this nation and defended it many times but most of those things are now fragmented. The pandemic has clearly illustrated that America is no longer capable of mass unity in our common interest.

Sorry to hear of your family's misfortune. Big DU hugs out to you all.....

[roody]

31. They could give you Covid.

Family is overrated.