Bomb squad called to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital after man gets WWII mortar stuck up his bottom

[packman]

Yah, that's the actual headline:




The bomb squad was called to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Thursday (December 2), after a patient was admitted with a mortar shell stuck in his rectum.

Troops from 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment rushed to the Gloucester hospital after being notified by police "that a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum."

The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital, according to The Sun.

https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/bomb-squad-called-gloucestershire-royal-6298076

Said he slipped and fell on the shell- That's his story and he's sticking to it

[blm]

1. SNL skit?

[tblue37]

2. Well, he's sticking *something*.

[CanonRay]

3. Million to one shot doc

Million to one! Courtesy Seinfeld "The Assman"

[underpants]

14. 😆😆😆😆

[Lurker Deluxe]

40. Heh

[iemanja]

4. Lol

Tripped. Likely story.

[dalton99a]

5. Probably fully vaccinated and strongly magnetic

[ZZenith]

11. Very good!

[Bev54]

48. LOL

:laug hing:

[Botany]

6. Happens all the time in England .... Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.


The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.’But it’s not for me to question his story.’

https://metro.co.uk/2008/10/31/vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum-95117/

[dalton99a]

7. +1. Watch out for fruits and vegetables

[Disaffected]

37. Hey, it happened to me once!

Except it was a cucumber...

[liberalla]

61. OK, so we have a supposed "man of the cloth", and he is hanging curtains in the kitchen...

And of course, since he has no curtains up, this job must be done in the nude.

Sure.

Nurse Trudi Watson - Don't you believe it!
This man is an exhibitionist and a kinky vegetable enthusiast!

[sarisataka]

8. Why do I expect

The shell was sitting in some sort of liquid? A lubricant you could say.

[LiberatedUSA]

13. Are you a Seinfeld fan?

“A million to one shot doc, a million to one.”

[Demovictory9]

22. yes...sitting in lube to remove rust. victim is nude. falls backwards while mortar is at

certain angle.... the rest is history.

[LiberatedUSA]

9. I sense a new Colbert Meanwhile in the works. N/t

[Demovictory9]

10. hope he's ok. sorry... I laughed

[EX500rider]

12. FIRE IN THE HOLE! nt

[underpants]

16. 👍👍👍

[louslobbs]

39. LOL

for real…omg!

[chowder66]

46. lololololololol.

[RockRaven]

15. It's always a "slip and fall"...

But it's never a slip and fall.

[Baitball Blogger]

17. Man most likely to throw himself backwards on a grenade.

[DFW]

18. Being a shell from World War II, this shouts the question

How long had he had this thing in there BEFORE he found it to be a nuisance?

Has anyone called the Guinness Book of World Records? If not, there is an entry begging to be made, here.....

[Celerity]

19. patient had presented with a munition in his rectum

the type of explosive shell removed from the man's bottom

[underpants]

20. Keep lubed and carry on

[Klaralven]

21. "These rounds measure at 57mm in diameter and an eye-watering 170mm in length."

2.24 x 6.7 inches

[Demovictory9]

24. penis shaped?

[keithbvadu2]

23. Stalag 17 ... It could happen or I can believe it.

Stalag 17 ... It could happen or I can believe it.

I can't remember which.

[Mz Pip]

25. I would have expected this

from Florida man…

[dalton99a]

27. Florida man did suffer a minor mishap

https://www.wfla.com/news/florida/florida-man-has-surgery-to-remove-screwdriver-from-rectum/

Florida man has surgery to remove screwdriver from rectum
by: Andrew Willis
Posted: Nov 6, 2019

[dchill]

26. Puts a new spin on "I really gotta go now!"

[Initech]

28. Guess he can literally blow it out his ass!

Thank you I'm here all week!

[Floyd R. Turbo]

29. Many years ago an ER physician I knew told me about objects individuals has inserted in their

bums. They included golf balls, writing instruments, bottles, Barbie dolls, aerosol cans, and during the holidays the most popular was Xmas tree lights.

[Celerity]

32. ARMAGEDDON!

[rurallib]

41. did any of those cure covid?

asking for a friend

[berniesandersmittens]

47. .

[bucolic_frolic]

30. Bung!

[Sneederbunk]

31. Did not say if it was live although apparently live enough for him.

[muriel_volestrangler]

59. The Sun story it links to says it was solid metal rather than ever explsoive (nt)

[Hekate]

33. Oooooooh-kay

[Vinca]

34. Right to the top of the list of stuff you could never make up.

[exboyfil]

35. Coworker in his youth fell on a piece of rebar

He had a colonoscopy bag after that. So accidents do happen.

I sat on a cactus as a four year old while attempting to walk over it.

These things do happen.

[Maru Kitteh]

44. colostomy

he had a colostomy bag



Unless he was wheeling one of these around

[exboyfil]

57. Thanks

Brain gliche.

[Alpeduez21]

36. I slipped

[Earth-shine]

38. There is a Seinfeld episode where George's father fell on something and it went up his butt.

I thought this stuff was just fiction.

[boston bean]

42. Sounds like a Atreus Anatomy episode.

Bomb in a body cavity.

[Maru Kitteh]

43. This takes the concept of ammosexual and gun fetishist to a whole

new plane of existence.

[Withywindle]

45. Right? I always thought that was more metaphorical

This guy takes it super literally!

[bigtree]

49. 50 Hilarious 'How Did That Get Up My Butt?' Stories From The Emergency Room

https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2017/05/50-hilarious-how-did-that-get-up-my-butt-stories-from-the-emergency-room/

https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2017/08/i-fell-on-it-doc-i-swear-27-hilarious-stories-of-rectal-foreign-objects-that-became-medical-emergencies/

[Coventina]

55. I think there's a media outlet that does a year end column of "What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums

This Year"

It's always a fun read.

[fwvinson]

50. Now, I think I saw that on a Big Bang Theory episode, once. I might be wrong, but ...

[Sneederbunk]

51. Who are we to judge man and consenting ammo?

[Mr. Ected]

52. Her Majesty's Armed Forces REALLY need to honor this man with an official new rank

Rear Admiral.

[Bev54]

53. Thank you for the laugh

I needed that!!

[Kaleva]

54. Happens to the best of us.

Who here hasn't come across some unexploded WWII vintage ordnance and thought "I'm going to fuck myself in the ass with that!".

[monkeyman1]

56. when I was a kid , buddy jumped over a picket fence & slipped on take off -

guess where the picket went ?

[Bo Zarts]

58. Neighbor came by today, in her golf cart, waving a HUGH (HUGH I tell you!) dildo ..

"Somebody lost a dog toy," sez she. She really did not know.

[muriel_volestrangler]

60. I love how they ended the story

"The unsteady patient was released from hospital and is expected to make a full recovery, so long as he does not trip and fall onto any more artillery shells."

[IcyPeas]

62. Does the NHS charge for bomb removal?

[48656c6c6f20]

63. Well it's a good thing he wasn't a train enthusiast I guess.