Oh sure, the Insurrectionists have really learned a lesson by being prosecuted.....

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

Tweet text:

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski
Jenna Ryan, who flew to J6 in a private jet and vowed she would “never go to prison,” is turning herself in soon. She says if she can lose 30 pounds in jail it will be worth it, plans on doing yoga in jail, detoxing from alcohol, and “hopefully they have those protein shakes.”


Watch on Twitter
4:50 AM · Dec 6, 2021

[mopinko]

1. protein shakes!

grl.....

[Wounded Bear]

2. Yeah, I'm sure the protein shake kiosk will be right next to the Starbucks...

[brush]

3. Hahahahahaha! Protein shakes? Yeah, right. She's in for wake up call.

[Effete Snob]

18. Well

Here's the commissary list from FCI Beaumont.

She *can* get powdered milk and hot chocolate mix:

https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/bmp/bmx_commlist052018.pdf

[Wingus Dingus]

5. I didn't know she was sentenced to a spa.

[Claustrum]

6. Wow... I didn't know jail time equates a spa vacation.....

Maybe I don't know or belong to the rich people jail population. Or I don't know, she is just delusional?

[snowybirdie]

7. Hate to break it

to her. Jails serve cheap and filling food. All carbs. She'll probably gain 30 pounds. Ha!

[Irish_Dem]

8. She is acting like jail will be a luxury spa.

Don't know if she really believes this or is just pretending to save face.

[Initech]

16. "We're not going to minimum security resort prison!" - Office Space

[Bettie]

19. Is she going to Minimum Security Resort Prison though?

I honestly don't know, but I rather suspect she is.

Also, does anyone know if it is a common thing to let people go to prison on whatever schedule works for them?

[Aristus]

9. Sees cell for the first time:

“Oh. Uh. Um. Are we sharing? Because, you know, I asked for a single. I was very clear about that.” *Rolls her eyes and sucks her teeth* “I’ll just have to speak with the warden about this! I’m afraid this won’t look good on HIS next employee report! Can we get a decorator in here? I mean, it’s all so drab! How am I going to be able to entertain in here? And WHERE is that protein shake? I ordered it fifteen minutes ago! That pudgy little guard had better shake a leg, or I’ll see he gets thrown out on his ass! See how fast he moves in the unemployment line!”

I love it when reality catches up with these hammerheads…

[malaise]

12. You nailed it

Is she that dumb?

[Cracklin Charlie]

10. She'll have her celly with her, right?

So she can post her new bod on Insta, right?

Right???

Bless her heart.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

11. Well, if you know how, and are able to motivate yourself

You'll definitely have plenty of time to 'do yoga' so, maybe?

Probably not going to have one of those ... 'yoga mats' ... though maybe you could claim yoga is part of your religion and make them give you one on those grounds. Proclaiming you believe in certain types of magical/fairy-tale shit entitles you special privileges in this country as we've all observed.

And you'll almost certainly 'detox' off alcohol, because there won't be any there.

And you could lose weight because the food there is absolutely awful, so ... just don't ever eat and you'll lose weight! That might make the yoga a bit more difficult though due to the lack of energy that often accompanies starvation.

Protein Shakes though ... lololololol ...

[zuul]

13. I hate to tell her but 'prison toilet wine' is a real thing.

[Initech]

17. "I'll be fine just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator."

[Javaman]

14. she'll change her tune after the first hour.

&ab_channel=Dain

[peggysue2]

15. Yoga???