Real Statement from Donald J. Trump, Real President of the United States, cancelling his 1/6 PC

[jmowreader]

I, your favorite president Donald J. Trump, who really won the 2020 election, was going to give the greatest press conference in history on the anniversary of that great day when patriots gathered from all over this great land of ours to try to force Congress to obey the will of the 71 million real Americans who voted for me and ignore the fake news that more people supposedly voted for Sleepy Joe. Look at the guy, will you? He's about 100 pounds overweight, he can't drink water without holding the glass in both hands and he can't walk down a handicapped ramp without falling down and breaking his nose. He's also a total loser. Do you realize he doesn't own any Florida golf courses? Not one! No one could have possibly voted for him.

Then my daughter Ivanka, who is the hottest babe I know, came to me last night and said "Daddy, you can't hold a press conference at Mar-a-Lago on January 6th at noon. If you do, the treasonous police who want to put you in jail for exercising your God-given right under the Third Amendment that says your real president can stay in office as long as he wants will know exactly where to find you, and besides we're out of bright orange makeup and the spray glue you use to create your tremendous hairstyle."

So I decided to call off the press conference that the fake media was illegally refusing to cover and will instead hold an even bigger and more exciting celebration of freedom in the parking lot of the ABC Supply store in Prescott Valley, Arizona, on a date that will be announced on Frank, Gettr, Telegraph and One America News Network, the only real news there is. Hundreds of thousands of real freedom loving Americans will flock there to hear motivational words from Mike Lindell, Diamond and Silk, Creflo Dollar, the brave healers of America's Frontline Doctors, and Linda Rendle, the manufacturer of the greatest COVID medicine ever created. The fake news media will all beg for access to this freedom-filled event, but there will be no room for those liars.

[jmowreader]

1. And before you comment...

...google Linda Rendle and look up the Prescott Valley ABC Supply on Google Maps.

[TlalocW]

2. I had to get to the third line

To be 100% sure this was satire.

TlalocW

[Ligyron]

3. Bwahaha!!

Good satirical comedy that’s really not far off from reality with that bunch.

[Budi]

4. Bets are on Trump has Omicron from the Mara lago NYEve paarty

"I don't know what Omicron is like in South Florida at the moment, but they did have a NYE event at Mar-a-Lago... *counts days* It's entirely possible"

"Does he have omicron, is that why? Rolling on the floor laughing. (THIS IS THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD. I have no idea why he actually cancelled. I hope it’s because he’s getting indicted but would take another bout of covid for him as a consolation prize)"

Link to tweet

Link to tweet