So we took mom to a board and care facility yesterday

[Beatlelvr]

She had been resigned to it...everytime I had to lift her in and out of bed or the toilet or her recliner she would say, how is your back? I don't want you to hurt yourself. My family was there settling her in and let me say, the caregivers there are wonderful. But she called me at 4:20 to come back. I stayed until after Jeopardy, 7:30. She said she wanted to go home but knew she couldn't. This is hard. Going back today and everyday from here on.

Just a side note: she loves Rachel Maddow (she's 98!) so I looked for it on their small tv in her room. They have Spectrum and do NOT have MSNBC. They have FOX. NEWSNATION AND OANN though!

[MineralMan]

1. I'll keep you and your mom in my thoughts.

Keep visiting her. She will get used to her new surroundings before long, but will need to see you.

[Scrivener7]

2. This is very hard. Your visits will make it easier for her. You are doing the right thing

and are a good child to her.

[Dial H For Hero]

13. Seconded. My parents were in a nursing home for around 4 years, and my visits were what kept

them going.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

3. It's going to take her time to adjust.

It's important to understand that.

It does seem as if you've gotten her in the facility in a timely manner. Too often people delay and delay, remaining at home when they can no longer care for themselves, or when their children, even if they live nearby, can do that.

We're dealing with that in my family with my 78 year old brother and his same aged wife. It does seem as if they are on board, and are trying to figure out exactly where to live. In there case, there is plenty of money to pay for a place, even if they each live to be 100, which is frankly very unlikely. For them, it will be an independent/assisted living place, because right now while they do need help, they don't need full care.

Hang in there.

[femmedem]

4. Oh, that is so sad. I feel for you both.

I watch Rachel on my computer via Sling. If she's able to use a laptop maybe you could get her a subscription and help her get connected to MSNBC when you visit in the evenings.

Often people hate being moved to a care facility for a few days but then come to like it once they settle in. I hope that's the case for her, too. Your visits will help a lot.

[CTyankee]

6. At one point my kids wanted me to go into assisted living but after covid hit and killed so many of

those had such a rapid spread of Covid, they didn't talk about it anymore.

We do, however, have a high rise nearby that is perfect for folks like us and may be where we wind up. I must say that going up and down stairs in our house is good for our knees, but only limited to a couple of times a day.

[Demsrule86]

20. A Therapist told me that stairs help one retain the ability to get up and down.

[True Blue American]

24. I feel the same way about my stairs.

The Y pool keeps me going, led by a Physical Therapist. I hate the bad days I can not go.

Bought a Cloud, leg and calves exerciser. Insurance companies are giving many extra benefits these days to help people stay in their homes, but your Mom knew it was time for more help. Praise her for that. She will get the help she needs.

[CTyankee]

27. That's what my therapist told me, but this got ridiculous. I am an exhaustible resource as I told my

husband.

[Hekate]

41. Right up until the last shred of cartilage leaves your knees. Then it's just agony. nt

[femmedem]

34. The stairs are probably what will send Mr. Femmedeme and me to assisted living someday.

Either that or dementia, which runs in my family. If it hits me and I've outlived Mr. Femmedem, I hope I'll know when I can't take care of myself anymore.

I'm glad your children aren't pressuring you anymore. I've been so worried for my mother, who now has advanced dementia and is living in a care facility which has had a few covid cases lately among staff and residents. But at least she is vaxxed and boosted.

[whistler162]

37. My mothers brother just passed from dementia

same as his mother. So I now wait and see if my mother inherited the gene. At least my mom was able to see him in person 3 years ago.

[femmedem]

38. I'm so sorry, Whistler.

This pandemic has been so hard for people who can't visit their loved ones with dementia.
And of course it is scary to wonder who else in the family is vulnerable.

[KentuckyWoman]

5. Get her a roku if they have internet available.

I live in a senior place with the whole range - independent living cottages all the way to memory care to full nursing to rehab ... you name it we have it. Our monthly fees include basic Spectrum. Our package includes local channels and a few other things. Yes, the RW propaganda channels are included here too.

However, we do have the infrastructure for internet services, at my expense in the cottages, and free wifi in the the main building. An add on Roku or other streaming device work great. I have Spectrum internet. My niece got me set up with a spectrum login and now I get MSNBC and quite a few other channels via the app on the Roku. It's wonderful.

[Frustratedlady]

9. Yes, the ROKU is great for getting MSNBC. My great-grandson got me hooked up to it.

MSNBC was on their dish, but we couldn't get it. We finally decided they must have it blocked so he came in with his ROKU and set it up for me. Otherwise I would have had to move out. No MSNBC, no me!

The nurses came in and watched when they could and I made friends with them over the newscasts. They whispered they thought management was Repuklican because they had FOX, OANN, etc., but MSNBC wasn't working. The maintenance man kept promising he'd look at it, but never did.

Good luck with her stay.

[Demsrule86]

21. You can get cheap internet with 5G now in a increasing number of places...so if there

is no internet which is hart to believe in this day and age, that might work too.

[True Blue American]

25. Do not answer if you wish not to.

But are you close to Hamilton? If so I know that place well.

[KentuckyWoman]

31. In a world sense yes but not in a local sense.

North of Cincinnati there are quite a few of these type of villages.

Chesterwood, Otterbein, Cottingham, Barrington, Christian Village, Maple Knoll, The Westover, Berkeley Square to name the main ones and there are more going up every year.

I didn't want to come to the one we moved to. My husband was ill a long time. We deeded the farm in eastern Kentucky nearly 10 years ago and moved to Lexington to be closer to good oncology. When it got bad enough we moved here to be closer to other family and so I had more support in caregiving.

He died in 2019 knowing I was settled. It was a peace to him. This place is not perfect but being an older lady with no children to rely on, this place is a little expensive, but pretty darn good.

[True Blue American]

33. My DIL's Mother

Had a really nice cottage. I think it was east of Hamilton. She enjoyed the companionship and trips. As her health deteriorated she moved to Assisted Living. She had a good sized family. 2 Sisters helped her and visited. She was 97. We were good friends,did some traveling together.

I have been to Otterbein in Lebanon where my family lives. I live in a small German Village founded city north of Dayton. So far everything is convenient. Insurance companies are making things easier to remain at home. But when the time comes! I will know.

I am glad you are OK with it.

[Glamrock]

7. I feel for you...

It’s only a matter of time before I have to do the same. My mom has Lewy Body and it’s ridiculously fast moving. Doing the best we can at the moment, but that time you are describing us on the horizon. Sucks. And sucks hard at that.

I feel ya, man. And feel for you. My strongest and best hippy vibes coming your way….

Glam

[Nittersing]

8. You might be able to get MSNBC for your mom

When my mom moved in to her facility, she had basic cable via Comcast... but no Turner Classic Movies. A call to Comcast and a monthly bill of 11.00 is all it took.

[Tickle]

10. awe poor thing

it must be so heart breaking for you. I don't know if you are a son or daughter but this must be so hard for you to do. My parents never got to that point so I wish you lots of love and peace.

[tanyev]

11. It's so hard.

My mom didn’t have a choice after she fell and broke her ankle. Worse, I live 5 hours away. I would come down every 2-3 weeks, stay for a few days and spend several hours a day with her at the nursing home. And then I’d have to leave again.

I hope your mom settles in and makes some friends and that this will get easier for all of you.

[cilla4progress]

12. Identical situation right now!

Just moved MIL in 2 days ago. Very tough on her at 1st - "I dont understand why"...she's almost 94 and has done well all her life on her own, still has her mental capacities for the most part, but after the last bad fall over Thanksgiving, with husband's sister and her husband having to lift her...no longer sustainable.

So my husband (her baby son) is over there right now helping her transition into a nice independent senior living apartment in a complex that also has assisted living, she seems to be doing alright, is resigned to it, as you say.

The TV isn't set up yet, so she was watching news and her favorite old 1950s TV shows on my husband's tablet last night. I wish there was a better option, but I think it's going to be OK. Its been hard, though.

I feel you!

[True Blue American]

26. You just hit on a great solution.

Tablets or IPAds are miracle workers. You can have hearing aids hooked right up. If anyone has hearing problems as many do. CAPTEL puts an icon on your tablet or cell phone. They can talk and read the words. I just helped 2 people do that this week. Press the phone icon,dial your number. They also have favorites.

[Deminpenn]

14. You won't regret seeing your mom everyday

as I did for mine. You can also bring her home for the day anytime and on holidays.

[2Gingersnaps]

16. You are blessed to have her.

Hugs to you, this is so hard for both her and you.

On a side note, I cut the cable for being forced to pay for MSNBC when those "entertainment channels" are basic and you are forced to support them. Spectrum wastes a lot of money trying to get me back with their "special offers."

[Demsrule86]

17. get a smart tv and get a roku...for 25. per month you can stream TB on sling that includes

MSNBC.

[gademocrat7]

18. Hope she will settle into a new routine soon.

It is not an easy decision but it is the right one. You are a caring and loving son.

[Joinfortmill]

19. Very difficult time. Sending you good vibes

Hope she gets to see Rachel somehow.

[ancianita]

22. You're such a good child. How dare they subject her to the harm of RW lying media.

DEMAND they show MSNBC or deduct your costs.

Hoping for all the best for you during this hard time.

[Liberty Belle]

23. Been there, I know how hard this is.

One thing we've done at times is to hire a paid caregiver to help me take Mom on outings - I can't lift her in and out of the car. But it would brighten her spirits to go out for lunch, or be wheeled through a shopping center or park or go get ice cream now and then.

Can you call your cable company and get separate cable installed for your Mom to watch what she chooses? Or get her a computer where she can watch it online? Even a tablet computer could work and they are not very expensive these days.

[True Blue American]

28. Many Medicare Advantage plans now cover that.

With a free Life Alert you can get trips to Doctors, help at home, even meals..

I am amazed that more people are not aware of all the free services now available. Check with your Insurance.

[Texaswitchy]

29. Hard thing to do.

I had to put my mother into a home.

She was fragile and ill.

I was burned out.

Do not let anyone make you feel bad.

[blogslug]

30. She can listen to MSNBC live free via TuneIn radio

There's a mobile app for both Android and iOS and Roku has it as a channel. She doesn't have to have an account to access it, just ignore (click X) those prompts. Mind you, the feed times out after about an hour but it reload and resume. They offer a paid subscription but I think it's pricey.

[electric_blue68]

40. I have iTune and I love it. Have the w ads subscription which...

is ? 5.99/mo

Got WNYC when I'm in the room wo the radio, our MSNBC "gang", a Chicago Progressive station, plus tons of Music Station choices!

Highly recommend!

[TNNurse]

32. Your mother would not want you injured caring for her.

Of family members who were alert and went to care facilities, most seemed to adapt fairly quickly. We took my father-in-law out to a family dinner and he was ready to go back to the facility after a couple of hours.

Hopefully she will be able to find some companions to talk to.

[thucythucy]

35. These makes me sad.

This is no reflection on you, you're obviously doing the best you can in this situation.

But the fact that the only alternative open to you is a nursing home is an indictment of our health care system.

Back in the 1970s the disability rights movement came up with a solution to just such situations. At that time people with spinal cord injuries, or post polio, or CP or whatever were often consigned to nursing homes, no matter how young they were. Activists founded the "independent living movement" which pushed for public funding of at home personal care assistance, or PCA. These were people employed to come into the home and help with whatever needed to be done in terms of activities of daily living.

I know high level spinal cord injured quadriplegics who are able to live at home thanks to these programs. Even moderate medical care--cathetorization for instance--can be done by a trained PCA, even if she or he doesn't otherwise have medical training. Under this model, most everyone is able to stay in their own home and have control over their own lives. They can decide for themselves when to get up, go to bed, what to eat, when or if to go out, hence the "independent" part of "independent living."

Unfortunately, in most states such programs, if they exist at all, end for anyone once they hit 65, or 66, or 62, depending.

The irony is that independent living services--even for someone needing almost 24 hour a day care--ends up costing less than being in a nursing home or assisted living facility. The services are coordinated through independent living centers but there is virtually no overhead, no need to build or rent separate facilities, no large administration staff, and, perhaps most importantly, no profit margin for owners or shareholders.

Therein lies the rub. The nursing home industry is a multi-billion dollar special interest, with a lobby to match. Independent living advocates by contrast are grassroots activists without the big bucks to sway public policy.

The first IL Center was founded in Berkeley California in 1972. There are now hundreds all over the world. But you wouldn't know anything about it if you relied on mass media.

Again, this isn't meant to be a criticism of you. I know several families in your situation, and it sounds like you've done what any loving son or daughter would do.

It just makes me sad. The IL movement offered a humane and cost-effective way to care for our elders, one that could have and should have been in place by now. But it obviously was not to be.

If you want more information on the grassroots effort to change all this, check out the disability rights group ADAPT, which stands for American Disabled for Attendant Programs Today.

https://adapt.org/

Best wishes to you and your family. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

[Earth-shine]

36. I'm streaming MSNBC right now from the website https://livenewschat.eu/politics/

It's less than high-def, but it's a reliable signal.

[dsc]

39. I have Spectrum and have MSNBC

Try channel 203. It should be in the news section which should be the 200's