Trump Produces Podiatrist's Letter to Avoid Serving in Russian Army

[Zorro]

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump has produced a letter from his podiatrist to avoid serving with the Russian forces massing on the border of Ukraine.

Although Trump has not yet been drafted into the Russian Army, he has been “living in terror” of receiving a draft notice from Vladimir Putin, a source close to the former President said.

“It wouldn’t be the first time Putin commanded him to do something,” the source said.

According to the source, Trump has sent Putin the podiatrist’s note, which asserted that marching with the Russian Army would cause intolerable pain in his foot region.

“He apologized to Putin for being unable to serve in the Russian Army, and recommended that he draft Tucker Carlson instead,” the source said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-produces-podiatrists-letter-to-avoid-serving-in-russian-army

[Wicked Blue]

1. I heard the podiatrist referred him to a proctologist

because TFG's foot was too far up his own ass

[Wounded Bear]

2. Ok, that got a chuckle...

Especially the "draft Tucker Carlson instead" line.

[BSdetect]

3. Russian Military intake standards have really dropped so he may be drafted anyway.

[keithbvadu2]

4. And Donald Trump Jr

Donald Trump Jr

I don't have to enlist.- My daddy had imaginary bone spurs and they're hereditary.

Link to tweet

?ref_src=

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. I love good satire

Link to tweet

[Denvermosaic]

6. Sweet, I needed a chuckle.

[Chainfire]

7. He is still eligible to continue serving in the Reserves.