To end this war, Donald Trump should move to Ukraine and make the following statement:
Hi Vlad, this is Don, your best mate. Remember me? I'm the orange one with hair that looks like a fox nested on my head. Yes, that one.
I think you are a genius with what you have done, and everyone says so. You have shown your masculinity like the world have never known.
But here's the problem now. I'm in Ukraine, and I'm hanging out with some of your oligarchs--great bodies, by the way--and if you keep attacking Ukraine, you might hit me and your mates, who frankly respect you almost as much as me.
So, after marching your soldiers to the top of the hill. please march them back down and send them home, then when this is all over, we can hang out in the shower together again in your palace, but let's not do the pee tapes this time.
Your humble servant,
Donald Trump