My 90 year old father has been hospitalized and I'm at a loss.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

I am pretty much homebound as in more than 5 or 6 steps leave me breathless and fearing my defibrillator is going to fire off again. However no one else knows my restrictions and that's how I like it. I can't go visit him and that's killing me and I can't do pretty much anything without having the abilities I once took for granted.

I Have been this way for three-four years in an apartment with a trash deposit a block away and my home now looks like a hoarder's episode and need all this to change...

It's a fucking embarrassment that this is a concern at the time of my Father's passing.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. I love you all. Unless you support Trump's anything.

[Walleye]

1. 💕

[Botany]

2. Talk to your doctor(s) and tell them you would like to see your dad.

n/t

[WhiskeyGrinder]

3. What kind of help are you looking for?

With the apartment, to visit your father, something else?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

10. Just advice. There are some things not easily changed in my situ.

[Hugin]

4. I'm very saddened to learn of your plight, Tom.

Is there any way you can connect electronically with your father? Not the best solution and better than nothing.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

11. I have one sister who is pretty wonderful who is corresponding

But I am at the point of becoming a pain in the ass in asking for updates.

[Hortensis]

23. Your wonderful sister knows you need updates. Keep asking, please.

And inevitably they will come to learn about your disability. Maybe making this the time would be better than having it later not of your choice?

Sorry you're in this position now with your father ill, Tom. Best wishes.

[SheltieLover]

64. You are not a pain in ass

We only get 1 dad per lifetime. It's sweet that you care about him!

Call your senior center & council on aging & churches for help with house cleaning! I'm sure kids need community service hours, too, so call high school, too!

Hugs to you!

[Wingus Dingus]

5. Do you have home health or nurse visits?

Because it sounds like you need that--along with transportation. You need to explain to your doctor what's going on. I am sorry about your dad.

[Tetrachloride]

6. Ask someone such as United Way or a church group to send over 4 people for a couple hours.

2 sets of 2 and a lot can be done.

Reducing the hoarding or similar is a team effort. Easier mentally and stuff gets done.

Librarians know a lot and know a lot of people

[Tomconroy]

7. Could any local social welfare agencies help? Maybe a call to a town health

department?

[MineralMan]

8. I'm so sorry to read that.

I went through something similar in January of 2021. Both of my parent died on January 6. COVID-19 was rampant in California, where they lived, and I was 75 years old and simply could not risk going there as they reached the end of their lives.

I spent the rest of that year acting as the executor of their estate from here in Minnesota.

Life is cruel, sometimes.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

13. Thank you. This is a kind of hell I never expected.

[calimary]

71. Hope all this is helpful, Tom!

And the EXTRA good part is - there’s gonna be somebody else who reads through this thread with all these good suggestions, and make use of that info for their own elders in need - OR they might know somebody who needs that info, and they’ll share.

You’ll have done (or you’ll have been responsible for) multiples of good deeds.

[XanaDUer2]

9. Others have given good advice

I'm so sorry

[The Blue Flower]

12. Do you live in an urban area?

There should be some social service agencies that can help you with transportation. Please let us know how things go for you.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

15. I am not poor but I also hate to ask for help.

I'm too effing embarrassed to hire someone to clean the place up.

[FarPoint]

16. You do need help....

Acceptance is your first step.....Believe me...you are not the first to get a little tangled up with domestic and clinical needs...(((HUG)))..

Take the first step...Home Care is a really good option....

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

19. Hugs back.

I am really at a loss at what do do and am really feeling alone and kinda sorry I posted this.

[FarPoint]

22. This is what friends are for...

We help people/ friends help navigate the dark times...You did the right thing buy just processing the issue here...

You don't have to suffer....really. Think of it as " Spring cleaning".... It's all good....

[Hassin Bin Sober]

74. Please don't be sorry you posted this.

You are getting great advice. There is so much help out there for you. Screw pride and pick up the phone.

No one is going to judge you. And if they do? Fuck ‘em.

I wish I was near you. I would be over there with a truck tomorrow.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

75. Thank you for you kindness.

[Demovictory9]

21. Order trash bags delivery from target. Pack up some eavh week.

Craigslist...hire someone to meet you at door and take trash to dumpster weekly

[blm]

28. Don't be embarrassed. Just tip them well.

Professional cleaners have already seen it all. A great tip makes them happy to be appreciated.

[hamsterjill]

37. Getting someone to pick up the trash at the door seems logical

To begin with. To take that first step. Maybe a teen who lives in the complex or nearby? A few bags at a time over a period of time just until you feel a sense of things getting better? A way for someone to earn a little extra money if you can (indeed) afford to pay a little.

You’ve explained your situation here quite rationally and logically, and I don’t think you should feel embarrassed - although I realize us saying that doesn’t help.

All journeys start with the first step…

[MissB]

41. Actually that's what they're there for

I didn’t catch how old you are but adult protective services is what you’d want to Google to see if they’re in your area (and they will be!).

They’ll have a hotline. Call it. Explain your situation, and they’ll work with you on getting you the resources you need. That may involve sending someone to help clean the place up.

Please don’t feel shame.

Reach out today and start the process.

Also see if the hospital can do a zoom so you can talk to or see your dad virtually. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

[IbogaProject]

50. There are people who specialize in this

Since your stuff is likely a mix of junk, worthwhile to others and keepsakes your best option is a person who does this digging out assistance as a profession. Another first step is to estimate how much is destined to go straight to the dump and how much might still have value or be useful to others. That will help you decide on how big of a dumpster. Don't do it alone, piles can and do collapse and the dumpster will have a monthly cost on top of the carting charges.
Best wishes you have this. Finally really move heaven and earth to find a solution on how to visit Dad once or twice a week if nearby or monthly if further away, the piles can wait to some extent your remaining time to have visits with dad is more limited.

[BonnieJW]

51. Unless you are a true hoarder

and can't bear to part with anything, call a company like Serve Pro. This is what they do. They clean up after floods and fires and other catastrophic events. Nothing about the condition of your apartment will shock them.

[SheltieLover]

65. Sometimes we all need help.

Mqybe whomever cleans up can stop by weekly to take trash to dumpster. Hire neighborhood kid?

[Tree Lady]

68. That was my mom she wouldn't let me hire

Anyone but she was getting more unable to do anything. It finally got to a point doctor made me move her to senior studio apt place that doesn't do medical just meals and housecleaning and shuttle.

She fought like hell and I just about had a breakdown over it but 3 yrs later loves the place.

When she finally let me clean her apt it was awful and I could see why she was embarrassed to have anyone clean.

The fact you are opening up here is a really good sign, my mom would never do that. Step one acknowledging the problem.

Maybe it would be easier to hire a cleaning company full of people you will never see again, tell yourself yes its embarrassing but I don't know them and they don't know me or how it got this way. You will feel like a changed man after, it will be so worth it.

About your dad many great ideas already here, please think about trying one of them.

I wasn't able to see my father much the last 6 months of his life because I had major back problems that ended up in operation and I was told not to drive more than 15 minutes and he was 3 hours away. I know how I feel about not seeing him even 20 yrs later. Do whatever you can even if its somehow arranging video calls.

Peace! Hang in there. Takes courage to open up like that

[FarPoint]

14. Can you get home care?

A bath aide, a Skilled Nurse? There are hopefully community support options...you appear to need an advocate....Medicaid/ Waiver and Medicare have resources...A social worker can be an advocate....It all depends on ones insurance...Your physician is needed to make such referrals.


Area on Aging can also be a resource.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

17. I probably could but I really need to get over the pride aspect of things...

Thank you for your suggestions.

[FarPoint]

20. Okay....

As a Register Nurse.... I now give you permission to ask for help.... Again, believe me when I say this...I see this often....I am a Home Care RN/Case Manager who focuses on IV home infusions but dabble when needed with basic clinical home care clients...

This won't improve until you ask for help....I didn't hear you mention any other family members to be supportive so go for the Nursing aspect...we got this....

[DFW]

24. A good friend of our is in a similar (not identical) situation

He is a doctor (GP), was active in sports, and did regular donations of weeks of his time for Doctors Without Borders in Eastern Subsaharan Africa every year. Two years ago, he suddenly suffered a debilitating stroke, and was a near vegetable for months. He got intense rehab to the point where he could talk again, but he developed a worse-than-mild case of Parkinson's that went undetected for nearly a year, because his physicians thought it was the effects of the stroke.

So now he has gone from an active, can-do physician to a near basket case who needs help in making it as far as the bathroom. As a doctor, he knows only too well what he has become, and hates it. He is used to pitying and giving comfort to his patients, not needing the same care himself. He regularly needs to go back to rehab, and gets stuck there for weeks at a time. His wife helps as best she can, but she is exhausted, and feels guilty for that, too. They are both in their early seventies.

He is slowly coming to terms with the fact that he MUST accept the help and the care that is available to him. His insurance pays for some of the care, but far from all of it (the Utopian version of health care here in Germany is little more that just that), and he is broke. He is extremely slow in swallowing his pride, but he has no option. The sooner he figures out that he has put in his dues to society, and deserves a little payback, the better.

Whether or not that has any relevance to you, I can't know, but it's a story for you to contemplate, at any rate. There is no shame in accepting help if it's your only option, and there are people willing to give it. Take the offer. The great revelation is that no one will begrudge you for it. Once you get beyond that, I'll bet it gets easier.

[CrispyQ]

34. It would be unfortunate to let pride keep you from getting your life back on track.

Sometimes you just have to adopt an "I don't give a fuck what people think of me" attitude & do what you have to do. There are lots of great suggestions in this thread. Good luck.

And I'm sorry about your father. Sometimes life just sucks.

on edit: You might also check out social media sites like Nextdoor.com for insight into people/businesses who live close by & can help. I'm always surprised at the positive responses in my neighborhood, when someone posts an urgent need.

[Turbineguy]

18. Hospital can do an on-line meeting

over Zoom or Facebook or Skype.

[Wicked Blue]

30. I was just about to suggest this too

Maybe a hospital volunteers can bring a cellphone to your father's room for Facetime sessions. I would check with the hospital to see whether they have a social worker on staff who can arrange this.

As far as clearing out trash, is there a local Office on Aging that can find someone or some group to help you?

I understand how you must feel about asking for help. I hate to do it. I'm sure you've helped many people over the years. Just keep in mind that right now it's your turn to accept some help.

[haele]

25. Social Security and Medicare will pay for home help if you need it.

Not necessarily a caretaker, but someone who can come in a day or two each week are run errands and do some cleaning for you. As someone below indicated, the local United Way may also have similar services for the elderly and disabled that can do the initial "hoarder" style clean-up for you at a low cost or free, depending on your income level. If you are a vet, the local VA might have some sort of service for home care support, also.

As I'm currently mobility disabled/waiting on surgery, I sympathize with you. I can do dishes (stool next to the sink) sometimes laundry on a good day, put away groceries, break down boxes, and clean the litterbox (because no one else will) most days. I really have to steel myself to take the garbage out of the to the bins that I've set up next to the carport porch, and I'm lucky my neighbor takes the bins out on collection day for me and brings them back to close to where they belong.
But the rest of the cleaning - the big family clutter, heavy cleaning, the floors, the bathrooms - anything that requires standing, bending, lifting, or moving, I just can't do for more than a minute or two before I have to sit down and spend a half hour recovering.

Once the other cleaning and trash pickup starts falling behind, it becomes more difficult to bring everything back to a state where you're not ashamed to have someone come in to help clean once a week if you can't do it yourself.
Bite the bullet and contact Social Security, the VA, or United Way for help.

Haele

[mahina]

26. First,I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's

Hospitalization and your health issues

I like the ideas people have suggested up thread. Also, I’m pretty sure there’s going to be help for you available so I don’t know your community or even your state really.

Here in Hawaii we have departments on aging like https://www.elderlyaffairs.com/
City

https://health.hawaii.gov/eoa/home/home-and-community-services/
State

I hope your community has some kind of resources like that.

Do you have room for another person to live there? If so, there may be a home sharing helper group near you that could help match you to people to help it get ready for a person to find a good person. Sometimes seniors just need someone to do some chores every week in exchange for affordable housing. It can also be very rewarding other friends. I wish you live here with me, I will come and help you.

Good luck brother. Aloha.

[RobinA]

27. Call Your

local (usually county-based) department of aging and adult services. It will be called that or something similar. Tell them briefly what is going on with you and they should be able to connect you with someone who can work with you to get the appropriate services. Don't pretty up the picture, just give them the facts. They've seen it all before. You also might want to see your doctor if you haven't for awhile.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

31. Thank you. I am getting to that point.

[LuckyCharms]

29. Tom,

My mom lived in a nice little apartment in a high rise. Her rent was next to nothing, because rent was income based. The organization that built and administered her apartment building was mostly funded by the State. See if your state has programs like this by talking to someone in social services. If these exist in your state, you may have to get on a waiting list, but do that now.

Connect with social services to see if you can get some help in cleaning out your apartment. Improve your living conditions by simplifying. Go bare bones. Get rid of all that you can. Take pictures of worthless but sentimental items and store the pictures on a few different thumb drives. Look at the pictures every day to recall your good memories.

If you have someone who is close to you, open up about your condition. Confide in them. Establish a strong bond with them and ask them to ensure your confidentiality about your condition. Ask for their help. People like to help others more than you may realize. Once you open up about your condition, see if there is a way to be transported via wheelchair to see your dad. If you literally can't go, do whatever you can to contact him every day. Telephone call, Skype, Zoom, anything.

Get Meals on Wheels if it is available.

Be strong, and don't worry about who knows about your condition. You are not a lesser man because you are ill. It happens to literally everyone eventually.

Stuff is just stuff. Downsize, simplify, and take pride in doing that. Ask for help.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

32. I'm in Alabama, Here they ask you to wander off into the woods and find a nice tree.

[LuckyCharms]

33. See if this link can be of help

https://www.assistedliving.org/alabama/

[FeelingBlue]

35. Contact a Home Health Social Worker

Sounds like you need help. And, your dad needs your presence. A social worker can direct you or can contact individuals to come and help you at home. You don’t have to live that way. Take it step by step. Best wishes for you and your dad.

[Quakerfriend]

42. Yes, this is good advise. Your dad has a social worker assigned to him. You can ask the

nurses taking care of your dad for his/her number & Im sure he/she can give you some very good advise.

She may even be able to work out transport for you to visit your dad.

[FeelingBlue]

36. Contact a Home Health Social Worker

Sounds like you need help. And, your dad needs your presence. A social worker can direct you or can contact individuals to come and help you at home. You don’t have to live that way. Take it step by step. Best wishes for you and your dad.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

38. Thank you. I am really considering that.

[usaf-vet]

48. YES, YES, YES they should know the local resources available for your specific needs.

[Greybnk48]

39. This is not something to be embarrassed, or ashamed of.

You need help, and you should have asked sooner, but that's not really a problem.

We are in the process of taking care of a similar situation for a friend who had to have open heart surgery last week. He has not let anyone in his house for years. We knew it was cluttered but we didn't want to embarrass him. He would just come to our house several times a week.

If you google "Hoarding clean-up near me" you should find several services in your area you can contact. They fully understand how this happens to people and treat you with respect and dignity. They have unmarked trucks and handle clean-ups as discreetly as possible.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

40. Thank you, I just did that.

[blogslug]

43. People want to help you. All you need to do is ask.

You father is very ill. You're feeling sad, ashamed, frustrated and overwhelmed. You're also grieving the person you used to be. It's a hell of a lot.

Asking for help is a step forward. Take it.

The first and most important thing is to get your home in shape because no matter what happens, you still have to live there. If you can afford a cleaning service, book an appointment. Others above have listed orgs and govt. programs as well if money is an issue. They're not going to judge you and so what if they do? They're strangers. Who cares?

Also, if you have stuff that needs removing that an ordinary cleaner won't, there's these people:

https://www.1800gotjunk.com/us_en/locations/junk-removal-birmingham/us03001

[Meowmee]

44. So sorry

Last edited Wed Mar 9, 2022, 02:48 PM - Edit history (1)

A company can help do the clean up. Your heart doc should help you with the mobility issues. Try to FaceTime with your father if there is no way to physically get there. Maybe your family members can come to get you.

[nolabear]

45. You're not unusual. Shame is a monster.

People suffer from feeling an unnecessary sense of shame about things over which they have no control every day. What you believe people will think of you is seldom accurate unless they’re just that kind of person, in which case it’s STILL not a thing you can control.

If you can manage it, get help clearing out your place. Talk to people about the reality and about your worries about how they see you and what you need from them. If they’re cruel, move away from them. If it just has to be this way, you need to be alone with your struggles, that’s fine too. But isolation is deadly. Can you meet virtually with people, have someone help you FaceTime with your father, hire someone to get you to him that you never need see again? Those services exist.

I’m truly sorry you’re in such a dilemma. I think you’re strong enough to find a creative solution to anything you want to change.

[LT Barclay]

46. Habitat for Humanity has an aging in place program that might help.

Local churches or colleges might have a group of young people willing to help.

[Totally Tunsie]

47. First, Tom, I'm so sorry to hear of your plight.

You've received some excellent information from other posters regarding your dad's hospitalization, and I wish you well in sifting through and finding the solution(s) that work for you. No need for me to add more - wiser heads have spoken.

However, here is one other solution to your clean-out situation: 1-800-Got Junk. They work wonders and I've heard they're quite reasonable, especially considering the miracles they accomplish.

Here's the link to their website: https://www.1800gotjunk.com/us_en
If you scroll down about 6", there's a good video explaining their pricing.

Good luck and good wishes to you. I hope your dad is comfortable and recuperating, and hope your own health situation improves as well. Don't be afraid or ashamed to call in help from others - I can guarantee they've seen worse and will have nothing but compassion for your needs.

hug:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

54. Thanks, through the answers I have already contacted services for cleanup

and hope one of them pans out.

Just heard they added pneumonia to his ailments...

[Totally Tunsie]

58. Oh no. I guess you have to trust that your dad is in the best place

to handle his needs right now, and that everything that can be done IS being done to bring him back to health.

Trust me - no matter what happens, you'll feel 1000% better once your home is resolved. It'll make all the difference in the world and will bring you a wonderful peace of mind that will help carry you through this difficult time.

My best wishes to you...

[XanaDUer2]

49. I'm so sorry about your dad

You say you're not poor. Can you just go hell for leather and have 1-800-junk just do a massive cleaning?

I have a similar home situation. More clutter than hoarding, but it's not the most uplifting environment to be in with my mental issues. I had them come out to remove some items and they were professional. Don't be embarrassed.

[Delmette2.0]

52. First, you need to be on oxygen.

Follow the suggestions to get home health care. When you ask for oxygen include a few portable bottles. That way you can get to visit your father.

I am in almost the same situation. I don't want to be seen outside with my oxygen. But I know I will have to give up my vanity and wear it to the grocery store.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

56. My O2 levels have been sitting at 95% for quite a while. It's the heart failure in general that's

keeping me out of breath and prime for afib.

I was on O2 for two years and after that time without smoking my lungs seemed to have bounced back a bit. I still have my inogens by my side however.

[Delmette2.0]

61. Good to know. Do follow up with your doctor.

Their advice is truely the best and can help you visit your father.

[Grasswire2]

79. Tom, do you have a little Pulse Oximeter?

You can wear it on a lanyard around your neck. It tells you what your oxygen level is, at any moment. About twenty bucks at any pharmacy or on amazon delivery.

And what are you doing for heart failure? My board-certified and highly qualified cardiologist recommends several supplements.

CoEnzyme Q10

magnesium

D-Ribose powder

Acetyl L Carnitine capsule
.....................
I have seen that protocol work wonders for people with HF. Do you know what your ejection fraction is? (EF)

And................if you didn't live half-way a continent away from me, I would be there in the morning with bells on to do whatever needs doing.

Thank you for reminding us all to take care of each other.

[Nululu]

53. acl.gov is the center for independent living

They were a big help with my parents and may offer assistance or insights. Best of luck.

[cate94]

55. You like to be secretive about your health issues?

How’s that helpful? There are a lot of tips upthread that can help you in the long run, but right now your biggest problem is you. Call your sister. Tell her what’s going on. Rent a wheelchair and get someone to push it. Go say good bye to your dad.

Your pride is hurting you. You can’t help your physical limitations, but you can help how you cope with them. A wheelchair is a tool. Portable oxygen is a tool. Pride is your biggest disability right now.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

57. You are so fucking right.

Pride is deadly and it seems I have dug a hole.

[cate94]

70. Sorry if I sounded harsh.

You can get out of that hole.

When my sister was dying of pancreatic cancer, my nieces called to say she was having difficulty getting around and they were afraid she would fall. I bought a walker, and drove 5 hours to see her. She was using the walls to hold her up and said she wouldn’t use a walker until the hospice nurse recommended it, or somebody who knew what they were doing. “So it was okay for me to take care of our grandma, but I don’t know what I’m doing?” She took the walker. She was able to leave her apartment and go visit her friends for coffee. It was the last time she was able to meet with them. (Pancreatic cancer moves fast.)

So, as someone who long ago worked in a nursing home, who has taken care of several relatives who were disabled or dying, I know you can do it. Let go of the pride and grab on to the tools you need.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

72. No, you didn't it was a true statement given with all good intentions.

And taken as such.

[Fla Dem]

59. We want Tom Yossarian Joad to be here on DU for a another 20 years!

Please take the advice many have posted here.

Reading your post you say for the last 3-4 years you haven't been able to take more than 5-6 steps at a time. Makes me think you haven't seen your doctor in a while. If you have, did he say there was nothing he could do for your situation? If you haven't seen him in 3-4 years, may I strongly encourage you to make an appointment with him. I know in my community there are Senior Citizen organizations that will take seniors to and from their Dr appointments.

I also encourage you to take the advice of many here in getting a professional cleaning crew in to clean your house. Then, if you can afford it, have a cleaning person at least once a month to keep your living situation clean and healthy. You need this for both your physical and mental health.

You've taken the 1st step, reaching out to your DU family, please take the next steps to get yourself in a healthy, positive situation.

[TygrBright]

60. Can your doc put you in touch with a bedside care specialist who has a tablet?

Maybe you can "visit by video" with phone/tablet applications.

Holding you and your Dad in my heart.

respectfully,
Bright

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

62. Thanks

[TygrBright]

63. What the peeps upthread have said, too...

You're a part of our community. We want you around on DU for a long time!

So get some help for yourself, too.

appreciatively,
Bright

[Cozmo]

66. Hi Tom, As you can see by all the answers to your post, people want to help

Don't know where you live but does you city have a Senior Services Dept? I know you don't want to ask for help but your circumstances have shifted now that your Dad has been hospitalized and reliance on someone else is just what you need. I serve on the Senior Advisory Council in my city, there are a lot of resources here and most likely are in your area. Things can pile up, I know. I'll be more than happy to assist you, just let me know.

[Warpy]

67. Call elder services

and tell them you need a warm body for a week or two to help you pack and remove the trash. You might find your breathing problems are improved once it is gone. That is one disaster that can be fixed.

If you've got a cell phone, you can rely on nurses to set things up on their end so you can talk to your dad. Hearing is supposedly the last thing to go and he'll know you're there with him as much as you can be.

It is horrible to be ill and isolated. Right now, I'm watching my life recycled, given away, and carted off by sanitation, getting me ready for a move to assisted living. So yeah, I do feel your pain.

[The Mouth]

69. Do you have anything like In Home Supportive Services available?

Check with your local Human Services department.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

73. Dear all who have responded

I have called many of the services suggested and have been reminded of what a wonderful site DU is for a collection of good people.

Thank you all for thinking of this moment in my life and supporting this electronic being. (Am I nuts?)

[cally]

76. Thank you for having the courage to ask DU for advice/help

It took courage to be honest and taught all of us how to ask for help and that there are others who care.

I hope you are here for a long time

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

77. As well as I do. LOL.

[Sogo]

78. Thanks for your post.

I've learned a lot from all the suggestions, some of which may help me some day.

It's a big transition with all kinds of overwhelming emotions that come up when our parents are close to passing away and when they do pass. Just know that many have also walked that path and can offer support.

There is no shame in asking for help, and more likely than not, people will be sympathetic in response to whatever condition they find you in. Your embarrassment is simply your discomfort that you are in those circumstances, so start the ball rolling by asking for help so that those circumstances can change. You deserve it!

Extending a big hug with best wishes to you and for your father....