The Situation of Unfreedom - Konstantin Olmezov
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hannah gais
@hannahgais
"Does what used to lend meaning to our lives make sense any longer? Of course everything will return, but it will return just as weak as before, and fall just as easily as soon as some thug takes a swing at it."
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The Situation of Unfreedom | Konstantin Olmezov
Does what used to lend meaning to our lives make sense any longer? Of course everything will return, but it will return just as weak as before, and fall just as easily as soon as some thug takes a...
12:38 PM · Mar 24, 2022
The following essay contains discussions of suicide.
https://www.nplusonemag.com/online-only/online-only/the-situation-of-unfreedom/
*snip*
HELLO. My name is Konstantin Olmezov. As of this writing, I am of sound mind and memory, and if you are reading it, most likely I will never write anything again.
Once, a long time ago, when I was first thinking seriously about that which cannot be named on the Russian internet, I started looking for self-help videos. In one such video, a psychologist says that the main thought that drives almost everyone who intends to do this is: The world owes me and the world has not lived up to my expectations. I took this idea to heart and realized that, given the situation at the time, such a position was inappropriateand the problem was solved. I returned to life relatively quickly.
But now, I think exactly this: The world owes me and the world has not lived up to my expectations.
The world should strive to correct errors. And it doesnt. The world should be comprised of thinking, empathetic, and responsible people. And it isnt. The world should permit creative freedom and freedom of choice. And it constantly takes them away. The world should consider these demands normal. And it considers them excessive.
That which began on February 24 changed certain existential positions within me. It is more than horrible how people who only yesterday seemed to be leading quite mundane lives so easily acquired all the characteristics Id read about in books. I am afraid our language doesnt yet have words to reflect the extreme nature of what is happening. It turns out that in order to start resembling characters from books and songs, all you have to do is not read or listen to them; and millions of people are capable of doing this.
*snip*