12 year old commits suicide after being bullied for alopecia

[Tree-Hugger]

This month, a 12 year old girl - Rio - took her own life after being ridiculed by her peers for alopecia. She was just 12 and she endured verbal taunts and physical assault because of her alopecia.

I am posting the following story/link because I have seen so many comments here on DU and elsewhere about how "it's just hair" or "roasting is what comics do" or "Jada should be flattered to be compared to Demi Moore(GI Jane)" or "she chose not to wear a wig." Perhaps people aren't aware of the physical and emotional pain that folks with alopecia endure.

I wrote in another post that my daughter has a best friend with alopecia. They are in elementary school. My daughter's friend was diagnosed with alopecia areata years ago. This is an autoimmune disorder. For her, it causes her hair to fall out in patches. There are spirts of regrowth and then spurts of new hair loss. Sometimes she chooses to shave. Sometimes she wears a wig. Other times she leaves it as in, patches and all. One thing many people don't realize is that there is physical pain that comes with it. Often, the head and scalp are tender, itchy, irritated, or even numb. There are headaches. There are other bodily symptoms and feelings of being unwell. Since it's automimmune it's systemic and not just focused on hair. Then there is the mental and emotional toll. My daughter' s friend is bullied daily in school. She can't win - shaved head, patchy hair, wigs, hats - nothing she does stops the bullies. She has had physical altercations over it. It's not just kids. Adults are Fucking rude and ruthless. The stares. The comments. The way they gently usher their children away from her as if they could somehow catch it. This is noticed by the little girl all the time. She is very good at reading those signals from adults and it's heartbreaking. I have witnessed the stares and have heard the whispers. I have had moments of catching eye contact and goving warnings. There are times I want to slap an ignorant adult who has zero issue with commenting on a child's appearance. As a result, this little girl has intense anxiety. It has been so heavy for her mental health and that of my friends, her mom.

Support groups for children and adults with alopecia are loaded with stories of bullying, assault, ridicule. People think "it's just hair" or "why not just wear a wig?" without truly thinking through the very real psychological and physical effects of alopecia.

And here is the story of 12 year old Rio, who took her own life a little over a week ago because she couldn't take it anymore.

From the link:
"Joining students were dozens of parents holding their own posters in support of Rio just eight days after she took her own life.

Rio reportedly suffered from alopecia, an autoimmune disease that made her hair fall out.

After starting off the school year wearing a wig, Rio’s mother, Nicole Ball, told 16 News Now last week that students began ripping it off Rio’s head. Ball also claims her daughter was smacked upside the head in front of the entire class for not having any hair.

“Rio has brought together an army and that army stands for you!” Rio’s grandfather told students who participated in the walkout."


https://www.wndu.com/2022/03/22/hundreds-students-walkout-north-side-middle-school-protest-districts-handle-bullying/

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. Alopecia areata is also a disability within the meaning of the ADA.

[bamagal62]

2. This breaks my heart.

I had no idea it was a disability.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

29. The ADA doesn't mention a lot of things.

Alopecia areata is an autoimmune disease. Under the ADA, a disability is a "physical impairment" that "substantially limits" a "major life activity.”

A "major life activity" includes "the functions of the immune system" and "normal cell growth.”

People with alopecia areata can expect reasonable accommodation in school and work under the ADA.

[Jarqui]

68. The mental health condition from bullying and the physical condition

could be regarded as a real disability.
It depends on the severity and the particulars and what the doctors have to say about it.

Disability is defined as "a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities"

If you are so depressed from your physical appearance and your peers reaction to it that you are suicidal, that's pretty bad and significantly "limiting" a persons "activities, movements" and probably "senses". You cannot be expected to function well in that condition and are therefore, arguably disabled - in the short term at least - until the mental condition gets treated successfully.

[Ms. Toad]

34. The ADA does not name specific conditions.

It defines disability as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activity. For purposes of the law, this also includes individuals who do not have a disability but are regarded as having a disability.

[Ms. Toad]

45. While it may not limit a major life activity for everyone with alopecia,

the determination is an individual one, and for some it may. It is up to a jury to make that determination, after weighing all of the facts in the individual case.

And, even if the condition itself does not impair a major life activity - the ADA also applies to conditions which others perceive as disabling. There's a pretty strong argument that those who bulied Rio perceived it that way.

[Orrex]

62. In that way, it may be ruled a disability for some but not for others

Even when the cases are substantially identical. All as determined by countless different groups of a dozen ultimately unqualified citizens, however well-meaning they might be.

[Ms. Toad]

65. That is the nature of the ADA.

There are very few conditions which are universally recognized as disabilities - blindness, deafness, epilepsy, T1 diabetes,and AIDS are a few I can think of. Other conditions are disablities, or not, depending on the impact (or perceived impact) of the condition on the individual's ability to perform major life functions.

As to being unqualified - jurors are no more unqualified to evaluate a disability as defined by law than they are to apply any other law. They are given jury instructions which defined the relevant terms and how they are to be applied, and it is the jury's job to review whether the plaintiff has proven sufficient facts to establish every element of the claim.

[Orrex]

72. In that case, I need only find 12 sympathetic jurors to rule my left-handedness a disability

And I'll be on easy street for the rest of my life.

[Ms. Toad]

78. Except -

That you'd have to experience actual discrimination on the basis of your left-handedness, then sue the discriminating entity, and prove a set of facts which establish your left-handedness impaired of a major life function, that you requested an accommodation that the discriminating entity denied, which would have would have allowed you to perform the job or access the public accommodation had they granted it.

Unless it was egregious, it is more likely that the discriminating entity would be required to accommodate you, rather than pay you big bucks.

And then you have to do that again with the next employer or place of public accommodation.

And the next one.

You can't expect to win all of the time, so you're likely to be racking up legal fees, which your other awards wouldn't cover.

Not a course I'd recommend if you're looking for "easy street."

[Orrex]

79. How often do you suppose that a jury awards an alopecia sufferer?

I’d be interested to read of the actionable discrimination that they encounter that causes their illness to rise to the level of a discriminated-against disability. Fran is diabetic; can she sue because every Friday the office treats the staff to donuts?

If indeed the person with alopecia has suffered abuse, harassment, or discrimination, then certainly they should be compensated. I don’t see how that makes it a disability, though, regardless of what 12 non-experts have to say on it.

[Ms. Toad]

80. Non-experts determine whether someone has a disablity.

What makes it a disablity, in the eyes of the law, are facts (as evaluate by a jury) which meet the legal definition of a disability (as the law is explained to the jury by the judge). Whether you like it or not, that's how disability is determined under the ADA.

And whether you think the definitino is too broad - it is what Congress intended. Courts, for years after enactment of the ADA, tried to limit the definition of disablity to a much narrower group of conditions - and in response to those narrowing decisions, in 2008, Congresss amended the law to reinforce that they really did intend disability to be broadly interpreted.

On September 25, 2008, the President signed the Americans with Disabilities Act Amendments Act of 2008 ("ADA Amendments Act" or "Act" ). The Act emphasizes that the definition of disability should be construed in favor of broad coverage of individuals to the maximum extent permitted by the terms of the ADA and generally shall not require extensive analysis.

The Act makes important changes to the definition of the term "disability" by rejecting the holdings in several Supreme Court decisions and portions of EEOC's ADA regulations. The effect of these changes is to make it easier for an individual seeking protection under the ADA to establish that he or she has a disability within the meaning of the ADA.

https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/americans-disabilities-act-amendments-act-2008

[Orrex]

81. Can you cite the jury decision that identified alopecia as a disability?

I’ve tried googling and didn’t reach anything conclusive.

[Ms. Toad]

84. You're not going to be able to find anything conclusive.

The ADA is, by design, an individualized decision for every person with that condition. As I indicated earlier, there are only a few conditions which are universally, for everyone with that condition, a disablility (e.g. blindness, deafness, AIDS, epilepsy are a few which are universally recognized as disabilities.)

In other words, under the ADA, for some alopecia may be a disability - for others, it may not be. There's not going to be one decision which determines whether it is, or is not, a disability. I responded to an assertion that that the ADA doesn't mention alopeica, by explaining how the law is set up, and why it is completely irrelevant that alopecia is not expressly mentioned in the ADA.

Google is not going to find all of the relevant cases for you. The Federal Courts do not have exclusive jurisdiction over cases arising out of the ADA, so claims could have been brought in any common pleas court in any county, in any state, or in any federal court. Google doesn't reach all of those. And no, I'm not going to search all decisions in all courts to find you a case. If you're that curious about whether a jury has ever determined that (for a particular person) alopecia is a disability, feel free to head over to your local law school and see if they have a public access to Westlaw or Lexis and search your little heart out.

[Orrex]

86. Thank you for the clarification

It seems that the original comment--disputing the assertion that alopecia--has been deleted. Fair enough.

Your answer is a better articulation of the facts than I believe was made in those posts.

Thank you.

[BannonsLiver]

41. Thanks. I knew that sounded like bullshit.

[Ms. Toad]

46. The ADA does not name specific conditions -

so the poster's comment that the ADA doesn't mention it is completely irrelevant to whether it is a disability or not.

[Azathoth]

13. How the hell is it a medical "disability"? nt

[DemocratSinceBirth]

19. Having a surgically repaired cleft palate isn't a disability

But I would feel bad if someone made fun of me for having one.

[Azathoth]

24. Comedians make fun of people with red hair.

Blond hair. Brunette hair. Short people. Tall people. People with beards. People with mullets. People with birthmarks. Overly fat people. Overly skinny people.

Pretty much any trait can be used as a joke for someone riffing on an audience.

Come on.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

26. That's why when I go to live comedy shows I keep as low a profile as possible.

Dave Chapelle is a brilliant comedian and he gets rightly criticized here for making fun of trans people. I know I don't like it.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

30. .

Alopecia areata is an autoimmune disease. Under the ADA, a disability is a "physical impairment" that "substantially limits" a "major life activity.”

A "major life activity" includes "the functions of the immune system" and "normal cell growth.”

People with alopecia areata can expect reasonable accommodation in school and work under the ADA.

[Azathoth]

40. lol no

"functions of the immune system" are not a "major life activity." Neither are "functions of the liver" or any other such process.

You are confusing etiology with symptoms.

A disability is a disease whose *symptoms* necessarily result in substantial impairment of major life activities.

Embarrassment doesn't count (even though purely embarrassing diseases it do deserve compassion).

[summer_in_TX]

67. Did you read the post?

"This is an autoimmune disorder. For her, it causes her hair to fall out in patches. There are spirts of regrowth and then spurts of new hair loss. Sometimes she chooses to shave. Sometimes she wears a wig. Other times she leaves it as in, patches and all. One thing many people don't realize is that there is physical pain that comes with it. Often, the head and scalp are tender, itchy, irritated, or even numb. There are headaches. There are other bodily symptoms and feelings of being unwell. Since it's automimmune it's systemic and not just focused on hair. Then there is the mental and emotional toll. My daughter' s friend is bullied daily in school. She can't win - shaved head, patchy hair, wigs, hats - nothing she does stops the bullies. She has had physical altercations over it. It's not just kids. Adults are Fucking rude and ruthless. The stares. The comments. The way they gently usher their children away from her as if they could somehow catch it."

If adults are pointing and staring and trying to keep their kids away from a child with alopecia in case it's catching, and kids are bullying daily, trauma happens on top of the many physical systems, exacerbating the physical pain very likely.

[Azathoth]

74. "the head and scalp are tender, itchy, irritated"

This describes almost every single dermatological condition, including dry skin. Roughly half the population could claim symptoms similar to this. And nearly every single human can claim some kind of chronic complaint of roughly the same severity. Some people have pain in the arches of their feet. Some have chronic head colds. Ingrown toenails. Chronic warts. The list is endless.

You people are making a mockery of the word "disability" and insulting those who live with genuine disabilities.

A disability is not something that causes you inconvenience, embarassment, annoyance or minor discomfort. This is privileged middle class violin playing taken to a comical level.

The ironic thing here is that most people who live with genuine disabilities don't spend their time looking to claim disability status for the social credit or to keep people from saying mean things. They're forced to do it because many of the basic activities that able-bodied people take for granted pose a real challenge for them, and they require genuine accomodation.

Ps. No one is saying that a condition like alopecia should be derided.

[summer_in_TX]

77. I think of debilitating headaches in combination

With other physical symptoms and mental health. I can see those impairing normal activities.

But I understand your point.

The symptoms of hair loss alone, even with a very itchy scalp, probably doesn’t rise to the level of disability.

[summer_in_TX]

69. Do a combination of physical and psychological pain leading to fear

of being around others sound like it might be at the level of severity of a disability? Physical issues can play havoc with mental health, and bullying adds to that.

[marybourg]

27. What kind of accommodation can

a person with this condition request?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

32. If their workplace doesn't allow head coverings, for example, a reasonable request could be to allow

them to wear one.

[marybourg]

33. Yes, I saw that on on first-person experience post

below. That’s very important. Could happen in a school also. But I can’t think of any accommodation that would ameliorate bullying over this condition. Unfortunately.

[jimfields33]

3. Page not found on the link

[Tree-Hugger]

5. Thank you.

I mess up links on here call the time. I don't know what is with me. Fixing it now.

[jimfields33]

7. I have same issues.

[Ptah]

4. Corrected link:

https://www.wndu.com/2022/03/22/hundreds-students-walkout-north-side-middle-school-protest-districts-handle-bullying/

[Tree-Hugger]

10. Thank you!

I fixed it. I hope.

[Tree-Hugger]

8. And?

No one deserves ridicule for a medical condition, regardless of age.

[mcar]

11. No, he bullied a grown woman with the same disorder

that some here claim he didn't know about. So he may have ridiculed a bald woman who may have been undergoing cancer treatments.

Har de Har Har.

[niyad]

60. What flavour pizza do you like?

[mcar]

76. Enjoy your stay

[Azathoth]

20. She has an obviously shaved head with like an eighth inch of stubble

People who lose hair due to chemo are *bald*, unless you happen to catch them right as their hair is growing back.

And even if she did lose her hair due to chemo, most celebrities would take the joke in stride -- and Rock would certainly have apologized when he found out.

The idea that this multi multi millionaire celebrity who has done vanity social media posts about shaving her head to hide her alopecia was being "bullied" is comical.

[BigmanPigman]

25. And don't forget that Will was laughing at the joke until he looked at

his wife and she looked pissed so he had to go on stage to prove he is a man, her defender, etc. He obviously is an ass and likely took out his anger, possibly over his wife's boyfriend, on Chris. A real man doesn't do shit like this, regardless of whether or not Chris knew of his wife's medical condition.

[misanthrope]

85. She didn't ask him if he wanted to play a hand of Solitaire

before his expression changed?

[Duncan Grant]

49. +1

The idea that JPS is a victim strains the seams of reality. I’ve said plenty about Will Smith today but I do think it’s hideous to use the tragedy of a 12-yr-old girl as some sort of public relations leverage supporting the Smith’s, to be blatant exploitation. If anyone on DU feels otherwise, please put me on full ignore. We have nothing to discuss.

[Tree-Hugger]

59. Nope

I posted this to educate people that alopecia is not "just hair." Don't even try to accuse me of doing public relations for the Smiths. Put me on ignore, dude.

[Duncan Grant]

61. With pleasure, *poof* it's done. NT

[Ms. Toad]

38. His apology is pretty clear that he knew. n/t

[cate94]

14. He bullied an adult woman

Who has a visible disability. Not any better than TFG, mocking the disabled reporter. For th.e record.

[Flaleftist]

57. Good point. Anyone who thinks Trump's mocking of the reporter was innapropriate, and Chris Rock's

joke wasn't, you are being inconsistent.

[Jetheels]

70. But JPS was at an event where it's expected that there will be a comedian roasting members

of the audience who are all in the acting profession earning millions of dollars.
A trifle different than Trump mimicking a disabled reporter. You are delusional beyond hope if you think these two scenarios are in any way shape or form similar, or maybe a rethuglican protecting trump.

[treestar]

82. IMO they are similar but TFG's act was a lot worse

His using physical movements to mock the reporter. That was more direct than the GI Jane suggestion.

[Jetheels]

83. Trump mocked and mimicked both with his body and voice, a reporter with a congenital joint

disease, that’s left the reporter's body disfigured and limits the ability for him to use/ move his body.

Rock made an unfunny joke in poor taste. Which hopefully he’ll rethink his jokes in the future.

Trump was was quite mean and vicious in his manner and intention. And was President of the United States of America.

I’m not sure why Rock made that poorly thought out joke.

Similarly they both got laughs at someone’s expense, in front of a crowd.

I’m not judging Rock or Smith for what was merely 2 minutes of an unfortunate event in their life.
This incident will accompany their memories of what normally would have been a celebratory event, hosting the Oscars, and winning an Oscar.

OTOH, we’ve seen Trump for over 4 years in the spotlight lying, cheating, bullying, belittling, encouraging violence, trying his best to overthrow the government of the United States…..there’s no doubt about who trump is and what his intentions and goals are.

[Torchlight]

16. He *only* punched down.

An activity often rewarded with generous contracts from AM talk radio. Like when Limbaugh mocked people with Parkinson's or had a segment called "AIDS Updates" set to music where he mocked adults slowly dying of aids.

But he didn't bully a 12 year old girl.

B-side of the same record.

[Torchlight]

22. I get it. Some diseases earn mockery.

Lacking the courage of our convictions, we gotta hide behind something to keep cashing in on it. Let's hope the 12 year old girl takes your words as a comfort.

[Torchlight]

47. You're moving your own goalposts. Again.

You opened with a variation of "diseases can be mocked!" followed by "some diseases can be mocked!" followed by "some diseases held by adults can mocked!"

However, if you really do want to see a litany of grown adults committing suicide due to one joke about a disability, I can provide it (though it may not support your own position as well as you hope.) Should I provide that for you? Or will your goalposts be moved once again when presented with the list? For the record, that is.


I'd hoped for a good-faith effort by you to support your own assertions with evidence, but as your arguments are to the last, unsupported allegations you're then asking critics to disprove, I find the good faith lacking.

[slightlv]

73. Not a 12 yo, but 66

Bear with Me I'm on my phone.

Maybe it's really different for men vs women. So many men deal with hair loss, that it seems totally socially acceptable to have receding hairlines,, bald spots, etc. Some even shave their head by choice.

It's different for most women, of ANY age. Hair is looked upon as a beauty trait. Most women, as they age, begin to see their hair thinning, and that is devasting enough right there. If it weren't you wouldn't see so many hair regrowth ads targeted to women now.:】 if hair thinning can be so devastating to women, just imagine how a woman feels when her hair starts falling out in patched. Mine has started to thin, and tho I never counted myself as vain, it's hit me like a ton of bricks and most definitely affected my emotional wellbeing to the point where I just don't go any where at the drop of a hat any more.

JPS has probably done all kind of things to cope, including talking about it, or even making jokes. I'm not a PR person for her, but I felt for her being singled out for it. I'm sensitive to it because I have a very close friend with the disease. We in our group embrace her and her difference, and believe me if anyone ever made fun of my friend in my presence they'd get one lecture at the top of my voice, if I didn't go all WS on their ass too. I know what my friend has gone thru to let anyone be that disrespectful of her.

Maybe the answer to all this is stop the Don rickles type of humor. I detest jokes at people's expense. If u can't be funny without making fun of someone else, maybe you're just not funny. But then, the last comedian I really liked was Sinbad. I cant stand the comedians today... they're either making fun of someone, talking scat, or talking smack about sex.

But like I said, I'm an elder with thinning hair, with a best friend who has alopecia and both of us female. Our hubbies didn't have near the problems with their thin and balding hair that we did. So maybe the difference is demographics. But I can put myself in JPS place... dressed to the nines and maybe actually feeling pretty... there to support her husband. And then wham! She's the brunt of a loud mouthed comedian making fun of her. And is WS was grinning b4 seeing his wife's eyes, he no doubt felt backed into a corner on what to do. Not okaying it, but he probably didn't want to deal with the fallout at home? Who knows... testosterone makes one prone to violent out bursts. For me, just save me from his God and self serving patriarchy speech.

[Duncan Grant]

50. Seriously? AIDS and JPS's alopecia in the same breath? Now I've seen it all.

By the way, AIDS is an all caps acronym. I’m simply stunned by your assertion.

[Torchlight]

51. Not an assertion, a comparison. A disease is a disease.

If you can supply an objective difference between which diseases are open to mock at the sufferer's expense and which ones aren't, I'll stand patient in silent chastisement So far, the closest to answering that question has been a difference lacking a distinction.

[Duncan Grant]

52. Outrageous. As someone who held men when they died, you're way out of line.

We’re done.

[Torchlight]

55. So there are diseases that do not rise to the level of being mocked?

Again, simply provide a list of which diseases are worthy of mocking at the individual sufferer's expense, and which one are not with a quick, objective difference between the two.

I also held men when they died from AIDS. Three family members-- but I'm also aware that gives me no agency or authority to pretend I can mock the migraine sufferer simply because they suffer from it.

Honestly, I think my family member who died are among the main reasons why I've learned avoid mocking others for things outside of their control for my own amusement.

Maybe we could both learn a fundamental lesson in this exchange.

[Duncan Grant]

56. I leave it for others to judge. We are truly and completely done. NT

[Torchlight]

58. I get it, we're entertained by punching down and often justify it with false outrage.

But in all honesty and with all sincerity, I do hope you allow yourself a few moments at a later date to reflect on your position. As individuals, we are the best mechanism to date to affect change.




"Humor is the weapon of the powerless against the powerful." M Ivins

[Tree-Hugger]

66. This

Just don't mock people for their medical conditions period.

[Flaleftist]

54. No, but can we agree that is wrong to mock someone for a medical condition regardless of their age?

[Tree-Hugger]

64. +1 nt

[we can do it]

75. What an asshole comment.

[mcar]

9. That is tragic

[SunSeeker]

15. ...

[DemocratSinceBirth]

17. SIGH

Words can hurt as much as fists. There was a young woman who committed suicide because of online bullying. There was another young man, a college student, who committed suicide because of online bullying. A tape was made of a same sex encounter of his and disseminated. An elementary student in liberal California of all places was bullied for being gay and committed suicide. You don't have to hit someone to hurt them, even fatally. Harsh words can do the job.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

23. I am enraged that the school did nothing about this.

I have two sons, now grown, with alopecia areata universalis. Universalis means they had absolutely no hair anywhere: no eyebrows, eyelashes, body hair, head hair, anywhere hair. My older son lost his hair when he was four, the younger when he was ten. I was always pro-active in dealing with their schools. My one regret is that I wasn't a lot more insistent that if either felt chilly, they could put on a hat, despite a no hat policy at their school. Which did allow head scarves for Muslim girls. And I'm sure if they'd had a student who was bald from chemotherapy that student would have been allowed a hat.

In part because I was always pro-active and willing to educate people, they seem to have had minimal teasing. I know if either had endured anything like this I'd have been breathing fire in the principal's office.

Keep in mind that alopecia areata is an auto immune disease. The thing about it is that ANY pattern of hair loss and regrowth you might imagine has occurred to people with it. Anywhere from a one time quarter sized patch of hair loss, to several patches, to lots, to total hair loss, to regrowth and then loss again. It can occur at any age, from birth until the end of life.

I am a bit annoyed that any and all hair loss is being confused with alopecia areata. Oh, and stress does NOT cause classic alopecia areata. When people try to tell me that I can get a bit enraged, as while I may not have been a perfect mother, I do not think I was so awful as to cause so much stress in my four year old that all his hair fell out. Are we clear about this? Stress may be implicated in hair loss, but it is NOT the primary cause. Oh, and if you do things with your hair, such as harsh chemicals or really tight braiding, those might well result in hair loss but if you don't do those things, the hair loss won't happen. Unlike having an auto immune disease, which is what alopecia areata is.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

31. The person who develops a method to end bullying should get a Nobel Prize.

There are people who lack empathy and there are a lot of them.

[Tree-Hugger]

43. Some of them are right here

I don't know if I've never seen so many people clamor for the right to make a joke at the expense of someone with a medical condition.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

44. Well. I have made my thoughts clear

Chris shouldn't have insulted Will's wife and Will shouldn't have slapped him. Some seem to want Will's head on a platter. That's a gross overreaction.

[MustLoveBeagles]

53. +1

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

48. So true.

My older son, the one who went bald at age 4, is also on the spectrum. Asperger's, although it's no longer a diagnosis, which I think is a shame, because it fit him perfectly. In fact, when someone suggested to me that he might have Asperger's, and I looked it up, I felt as if they'd studied him before they wrote the definition.

Among the reasons he was bullied was that in an excellent elementary school in a very good public school district -- the Shawnee Mission School district in Kansas -- he was an oddity because he was far more interested in academics and learning than in what the Kansas City Chiefs had done that Sunday.

Because of his Asperger's, he tended not to notice how different he was. Although in 6th grade, the school counselor, who was VERY aware of such things, had noticed no one would sit with him at lunch, and simply had him eat lunch with her.

In the fall of my son's 6th grade year a friend, another mom, whose older son was a year ahead of mine, called me up to say, "Look, I know you've said private school could be a possibility for your kid, and here is why you cannot send him to the middle school." She then laid out what was happening with her son, a year older than mine, who was NOT Aspie, but who'd been bullied in grade school and now things were much worse at the middle school. It was horrifying. They wound up moving their son from the local middle school to a different one in the district, driving him to and from every day, just to remove him from the neighborhood bullies. And this was a kid somewhat capable of defending himself.

Which my son was not. We wound up sending him to a local independent secular school, and it turned out to be the best thing we could possibly have done. For a while I said (and I meant it) that I'd have cheerfully scrubbed toilets to have paid for his tuition. We were very fortunate in that my husband's parents had the financial resources and willingness to pay for his tuition. Here's the important thing. At the new school his being smart was valued and admired. He did Science Bowl all the way through high school, and in his junior and senior years his team went to National Science Bowl. The local competition, in Kansas City, was by far the most competitive. Over one hundred teams competed, so many that Kansas City was the ONLY place that sent two teams to Nationals.

[MustLoveBeagles]

63. Very true unfortunatly

[MustLoveBeagles]

28. Heartbreaking

[xmas74]

35. It's an autoimmune disease.

One in four with an already diagnosed autoimmune disorder will develop another. Saying that alopecia isn't a big deal and is "just hair" dismisses that it could be more. Alopecia is more likely to get the early diagnosis because it's readily apparent. Other autoimmune disorders may have less obvious symptoms.

Making jokes about appearance isn't funny.

[brer cat]

37. It is a horrible society that bulies children

until they commit suicide. My heart breaks.

[SpankMe]

71. Tragic. But this doesn't exonerate Will Smith.

And it says nothing about the appropriateness of Chis Rock's joke.

Kids bullying kids for alopecia should be punished.

But an adult comedian exercising his craft by making a G.I. Jane joke with a tangential and indirect relationship to alopecia where the subject is an adult and a public figure who has weathered criticism and comedic hits before - that comedian gets a pass.