I actually woke up laughing this morning...
Well, smiling at least.
I thought of an analogous work situation to the “I don’t know what a burner phone is“ from you know who. The following never happened, is fictitious, and is a figment of my imagination.
A dental patient arrives at a dentist’s office stating that he has pain, terrible pain on his right side. The dentist looks at his mouth and takes x-rays of all of his teeth. The patient has severe disease in all four quadrants. He and the dentist agree that he needs to lose three teeth on his right side on that day to remove the cause of the horrific pain. The dentist administers nitrous oxide, anesthetizes the area with lidocaine injections and proceeds to extract three teeth from the patient’s LEFT side. Upon awakening, the patient is horrified that the wrong teeth were extracted. He runs out of the office, goes home, speaks to his brother-in-law, and immediately calls a lawyer who files a malpractice suit.
When the dentist is deposed, He is asked which side did the patient agree to have the teeth extracted. The dentist replies the right side. The opposing counsel asserts that the teeth were extracted from the left side. The dentist reports that as he was facing the patient it was on his right side, that being of the dentist. The lawyer states that it is customary for all identification of left right up and down is with respect to the patient. The dentist states that may or may not be customary as you say but he wanted the teeth out on the right side I looked at him from the front and took out those teeth. Indignantly, the lawyer states so you admit that you use the forcep to extract three teeth on this gentleman without concern for which side either of you were referring to? The dentist replies what is a forcep, I’ve never heard of a forcep. The lawyer replies that a forcep is the term for the instrument used to extract teeth from a skull and this is taught without exception in dental school. The dentist replies that in his experience the older surgeons who taught him use the term “pliers” in the clinic and he is unaware of what a forcep is so that question is extraneous. In fact, the dentist goes on to reply that since the plaintiff stated that the dentist used an instrument unknown to him then his entire case is invalid and should be dismissed immediately.
The attorney states to the judge that this logic is insane, and that the judge to deny the request for dismissal. The judge says to the lawyer that he himself happens to be a patient of this dentist, he’s always taken good care of him, and he sees no reason why not to dismiss the case since the patient’s teeth were admittedly compromised and so will have to lose them anyway, and that he’s known the dentist for years and is a nice guy. So therefore, case dismissed.
The lawyer is now sputtering, and he says judge shouldn’t you have recused yourself from this case since you know the defendant? And the judge replies are you casting aspersions on my character implying that I can’t rule on a case involving a few lousy teeth? I’m going to hold you in contempt, bail set at $250,000. Bailiff, take him away.
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As a citizen of the United States, I absolutely resent the fact that this former president is allowed to conjure any and all devices to avoid both Arrest and prosecution, while individuals of lesser means and station are arrested and jailed indefinitely for some crimes with the vaguest of evidence and continue to be held despite clear evidence which exonerates the individual. This is not a double standard, this is a nightmare and the country has yet to awaken from it. I anxiously await the outcome of this process, and if nothing happens to these seditionists and traitors, I give up. I mean that: I. Give. Up.
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