Tonight I probably won't sleep again

[bronxiteforever]

Like many here, the past months have left a hole inside my soul. Not just the hole of loss or grief but a sorta black hole consuming everything in its wake and leaving nothing but the darkness.

I normally post in the Lounge because I felt peaceful scenes and photos and poems can make life a little better. I don’t feel that peace anymore. It’s gone, it hit the highway and bought the farm. Killed by the lifeless eyes of Vlad the merciless and endless hate spewing from the GOP. Peter Gabriel wrote a lyric “I try to sleep at night but I can only dream in red”. That pretty much works for me.

I have read such horrible, nauseating stories of violence against people just living their lives. All the tropes come knocking around late too. You know “man’s inhumanity to man” and the search for meaning in our short span of existence.

Now in 2022 there are people who live to terrorize kids, the elderly and the rest of regular people who are just trying hold it together through regular life. Yeah, I know, they have always been there, like a cancerous lymph node ready to break open and kill you. But I really thought this wouldn’t happen again.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

So I saw this exhibition in Washington of artistic works done by Laurie Anderson. There was one room that she painted her quotes on the ceiling, the wall and the floor. One set spoke to me. It read:

And all my brothers. And all my long lost sisters
How do we begin again?
How do we begin?

Maybe we begin again by human compassion because I sure have no other answers and I am running out of years and tears to cry.
Thanks for listening and I hope everyone gets some sleep and peace.

[MLAA]

1. ❤️

[Nevilledog]

2. Totally understand what you're feeling.

[Joinfortmill]

3. Reach for the good, that's all we can do.

[hamsterjill]

4. Beautiful post!

Now, go and sleep. Rest. Rejuvenate and live another day to fight the good fight. The world needs more people like you.

[chillfactor]

5. i am with you....

I feel like I have fallen into a black hole with no escape.Sleep comes in naps.....here and there.Can't remember the last time I had a full night's sleep.

[highplainsdem]

6. I've been coping with the bad news by taking breaks to listen to music instead. It helps me

more than watching dramas or comedies, or reading fiction or jokes, or even looking at cute animal videos.

Music reaches past the surface, for me. It reminds me of humanity's shared emotions and aspirations and creativity. And I find enough strength in that to be able to face the terrible news again.

I thought it was very important and moving for the Grammys to let Zelensky make the statement he did, starting with these words:

The war. What is more opposite to music?


https://www.newsweek.com/volodymyr-zelensky-grammys-speech-full-transcript-1694633

[ForgedCrank]

7. The answer to

peace and being content is out there, and it will find you.
It comes to all of us eventually, some sooner, some later, and the moment is unpredictable. But it will find you in time.

[KentuckyWoman]

8. I have nothing for you.

To send hugs is patronizing. Still, I wish I had something for you.

Hugs across the interwebs is all I have.

[wendyb-NC]

9. I know what you mean

Take care of yourself. Rest when you can. Whatever little things give you joy embrace them. Thank you, for your post, these are surreal times.

[sprinkleeninow]

10. ....

💙 🕊

[JoeOtterbein]

11. Please...

[link:

|

[summer_in_TX]

12. Hope you can hang on to hope. And find peace.

I feel your pain and despair.

Many have said, and with truth, that it is always darkest just before the dawn.

Mr. Rogers would say, Look for the helpers.

[FakeNoose]

13. I have a suggestion, something that works for me

Instead of reading horrific news stories and getting upset and anxious over them, try listening to some laid-back music. Keep the TV and the internet turned off for awhile.

If that doesn't help, read a book. Some kind of escapist fiction that never mentions politics or current events. Get lost in a good story and forget the world for awhile. I relax and fall asleep almost every night with a good book that helps me forget this crazy crap. You can't be worrying about it 24/7, give yourself a break every day.

Good luck my friend, and sleep tight.

[Doodley]

21. Yes, that is great advice.

[sir pball]

38. Try reading the Discworld series.

It's my go-to when things get dark. There's actually a lot of politics, satire and social commentary in the books, but they never leave you feeling worse after reading them than you did beforehand. If it's your first time I'd suggest starting at the beginning, with The Colour of Magic, and going through in chronological order; once you've read them all once you can get into the individual storylines like the Witches or the Watch serieses.

[appalachiablue]

14. Thanks for such a moving post, we get it. Take good care.

[MustLoveBeagles]

15. Hugs to you

And I hope you can sleep.

[RussBLib]

16. Laurie Anderson is pretty awesome

I hope to catch that exhibit before it's over July 31

[Grasswire2]

17. what gets to me is the realization that..

...people who live a fairly modern and civilized life can bring something to their forefront that is evil, cruel, monstrous. They have to consider the victims as some other specie than they themselves are -- evidently. I have trouble comprehending humans without humanity; with zero regard for their fellow humans.

[Tree Lady]

18. I would limit the amount of news you read

Until you feel better. A old man once told me every day on the sunny side of dirt is a good day. Made me more grateful for my life.

I do a long dog walk daily, nature helps a lot. And I read or listen to a podcast about finding peace.

[canetoad]

19. Maybe, sometime in the next Aeon

A dominant special will arise that respects and nurtures all other species because it's the fucking right thing to do.

I will not buy into the angst of our failing humanity. As part of this planet, you can assume that I will try to preserve it. But it's not always up to me.....

If we humans, in our regognisable form, become extinct - is that a bad thing?

[smirkymonkey]

20. Take care bronxite.

I know how you feel.

[Bobespy]

22. You can never say, "Oh, what's the use?"

As bad as the coronavirus pandemic is along with the war in Ukraine, one must still keep going. Both of these events will pass and we can once more turn our attention to the future, especially to global warming. The UN put out a report that stated that humanity has about 3 years left to get its act together before really bad things start to happen to the environment. It is crunch time—and we either change or suffer the consequences. Solar power and nuclear fusion power will provide the energy needs. Desalination plants will provide all the water needs. Food scarcity is still a problem and must be dealt with to avoid mass starvation. Advances in technology will create new opportunities. It is a matter of keeping focused on possibilities. Our consciousness is the key.

[virgdem]

23. You expressed so eloquently how all of us feel.

You need to take a break from the neverending horrors we are witnessing on a daily basis. I have done that and it helps immensely. Peace and hugs to you.

[herding cats]

24. My heart feels you.

I'm also an empathetic person. Sometimes I think I'm too empathetic. Here's the thing, in times like these we need to protect ourselves a bit more than people who are less empathetic.

Take breaks, do things which nurture our souls. Connect with people in a situation where it won't involve modern events. I'm in no way saying to disconnect or ignore reality, just take care of you and engage in a level which is manageable to you, personally.

This is just how I've learned to manage the inhumanity, cruelty and horrors we're exposed to all too often. Which shouldn't ever be a thing and most definitely shouldn't in this age. As I said above, my heart feels you.

[qazplm135]

25. one thing to think about

no matter how bad it is now, imagine how things were 100 years ago...now imagine 200 years ago.

If you look long term enough, the trajectory is positive...obviously short term, there are periods of going in the wrong direction, but long term, I'd much rather live now than almost any other time, particularly as a Black man.

[Native]

37. +1

[struggle4progress]

26. How can I keep from singing?

My life goes on in endless song above earth's lamentation.
I hear the real, though far-off, hymn that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife, I hear its music ringing.
It sounds an echo in my soul. How can I keep from singing?

Although the tempest loudly roars, I hear the truth: it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close, songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm, while to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth, how can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear and hear their death knell ringing,
when friends rejoice both far and near --- how can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile, our thoughts to them are winging.
When friends by shame are undefiled, how can I keep from singing?

[Wicked Blue]

29. That's in the blue UU hymnal, Number 108. nt

[Delphinus]

43. How cool!

I did not know that.

[markie]

27. ...

[c-rational]

28. Thank you for this and all your posts bronxiteforever. No answers, but this too shall pass.

[Wicked Blue]

30. We begin again in love

“ A Litany of Atonement” by Rob Eller-Isaacs
UU Blue Hymnal, reading 637


For remaining silent when a single voice would have made a difference

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For each time that our fears have made us rigid and inaccessible

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For each time that we have struck out in anger without just cause

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For each time that our greed has blinded us to the needs of others

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For the selfishness which sets us apart and alone

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For falling short of the admonitions of the spirit

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For losing sight of our unity

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.


For those, and for so many acts, both evident and subtle, which have fueled the illusion of separateness

We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

[TNNurse]

31. Every day my husband asks:

Why are there no consequences???

For Jan 6?

For Trump and his minions?

And now for Putin?? Is it not time for the UN forces to do something???

[Evolve Dammit]

45. Millions are asking those questions. Give him a hug from ED.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

32. Conserve your empathy by limiting news consumption if it is causing you loss of sleep

It won't make the problem go away, but it will help. And I'm not suggesting a total ban on news consumption.

[femmedem]

33. I think plenty of us are wrestling with this.

I, too, find it depressing that people can treat each other so horrifically.

I hope that you find some joy as warmer, sunnier weather arrives, and that you can treat yourself with the kindness you'd show to others feeling the same way. And I echo what others are saying about taking periodic breaks from the news or limiting how much time you spend on it.

Do you have a pet? Sometimes the goodness of animals reminds me that most people are good, even if the awful ones dominate the news.

[calimary]

34. What a great post! So well-written!

Thank you, bronxiteforever!

And quite a few here were clearly inspired by it.

[Codifer]

35. This

pretty much sums it up.

[IbogaProject]

39. We need to remain above their lust to break our humanity

Yes this is a horror. We need to retain our humanity through this. I hope this ends the offshore wealth scam. I also hope this wakes us up to all the corruption the petroleum industry has fostered. We need a Manhattan project to switch from dirty oil to plant based fuels and feedstocks.

I do love both of the artists you mentioned.

Let's all work to end international arms trade.

[Raine]

40. I feel EXACTLY the same ... 💔 😪

a hug and another for all of us

[flying_wahini]

41. Unplugging for a few days in a row helps me immensely.

NOT going down the rabbit hole online can save your sanity.

[oldsoftie]

42. I support UKR. But I'm not losing sleep over what I have zero control over.

I hat what Putin & the communists have done to that free country
I'll donate, back people who speak the truth, vote the proper way, etc. But you can't let what those animals are doing start to affect your health.
I'm going to a Samantha Fish concert tomorrow. That'll get me "away" from everything negative for an evening. That works for me.

[llmart]

44. We are all right there with you.

I don't have any answers for you or myself. I can't watch another news clip where I see a child's little shoe in the streets of Ukraine. What happened to people like Putin and Trump when they were children that makes them so hate filled and cruel and lack empathy? I don't believe that anyone is born lacking empathy. Who hurt them so badly that they hate?

As others have said, I turn to music and books to take my mind off it, especially right before bed. I've never been very good at putting myself first, but I am learning how important self-care is. I'm trying to make it my mantra each day. When I come to DU I don't personally know any of you, but I like knowing that there are lots and lots of us good people out there, even if I don't often see them in my daily life.

[Evolve Dammit]

47. Good post. Feel the same. DU kept me sane during the W years. Which, I might add, was a precursor.

And there are millions of really good people out there. Ukraine did not ask for any of this horror. Working on the "self-care" piece.

[Evolve Dammit]

46. I hear ya. Feeling the same. Take good care. Hope.

[onecaliberal]

48. You have a lot of company.

[Delphinus]

49. You spoke

so very well what is in my heart.