'An Appeal from Brett Kavanaugh'

[kpete]

Andy Borowitz:

Speaking to reporters, Kavanaugh said that, after work last Friday, he dropped into a bar near the Supreme Court “to have a few pops,” and inadvertently forgot to take his briefcase when he left.

Kavanaugh, who appeared to have some difficulty reconstructing the time line of the evening, said that he arrived at the bar “around seven” and that it was “ten, maybe ten-thirty when they asked me to leave.”

The jurist was evasive when asked to describe the contents of his briefcase, saying only that it was “work papers and junk” that he would “really like to have back.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/kavanaugh-asks-if-anyone-has-seen-briefcase-he-accidentally-left-at-bar-last-week

[Hugh_Lebowski]

1. The mystery of the leak is solved then!

[lark]

2. Kavadrunk was at it again, overdrinking and not knowing what he did.

Is this just a lie to cover for Ginni or Alito doing this himself or is it the truth?

[Kid Berwyn]

3. Knew it was the Onion.

Kavanaugh doesn’t go to bars. He boofs at home.

[Wounded Bear]

4. Not the Onion. Borowitz. Still funny...

[LetMyPeopleVote]

5. I love good satire

Link to tweet

[ShazzieB]

6. Damn, it's Borowitz!

I was so hoping this was true! *weary sigh*

[2Gingersnaps]

7. Such are the times in which we live,

Borowitz and the Onion are joking.....or just laughing to keep from crying and confusing the hell out of sentient, normal human beings. Same as, but slightly different, as QAnon, only that just attracts the mean and stupid.

[LudwigPastorius]

8. Kavanaugh was fine until he went over to Aqua Buddha's place for some bongers.

After that, they got a twelver of malt liquor and a giant stuffed crust pizza.

[Bo Zarts]

9. Kavanaugh's beer math:

[Xoan]

10. I think it's more likely ...

Ginni Thomas in the study with a copier.

[usonian]

11. Maybe Andy Borowitz can find the phone booth

where some of them change from white robes to black ones.