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moonshinegnomie

(2,454 posts)
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 02:00 PM Jun 2022

One of the saddest things I've read from uvalde

This just crushed me. I tried to fact check to verify the source, but either way, powerful. For those of us that have been so lucky to not experience the death of a child. Written by one of the Uvalde victims moms:

"The chicken soup in her thermos stayed hot all day while her body grew cold.
She never had a chance to eat the baloney and cheese sandwich. I got up 10 minutes early to cut the crust off a sandwich that will never be eaten.
Should I call and cancel her dental appointment next Wednesday? Will the office automatically know?
Should I still take her brother to the appointment since I already took the day off work? Last time Carlos had one cavity and Amerie asked him what having a cavity feels like.
She will never experience having a cavity.
She will never experience having a cavity filled.
The cavities in her body now are from bullets, and they can never be filled.
What if she had asked to use the bathroom in the hall a few minutes prior to the gunman entering the room, locking the door, and slaughtering all inside?
Was she one of the first kids in the room to die or one of the last?
These are the things they don’t tell us.
Which of her friends did she see die before her?
Hannah?
Emily?
Both?
Did their blood and brains splatter across her Girl Scout uniform?
She just earned a Fire Safety patch.
What if it got ruined?
There are no patches for school shootings.
Was she practicing writing GIRAFFE the moment he walked in her classroom, barricaded the door and opened fire?
She keeps forgetting the silent “e” at the end.
We studied this past weekend, and now she doesn’t need to take the spelling test on Friday.
None of them will take the spelling test on Friday.
There will be no spelling test on Friday.
Because there is no one to give it.
And no one to take it.
These are the things I will never know:
I will never know at what age she would have started her period.
I will never know if she had wisdom teeth. (Or if they would have come in crooked.)
I will never know who she spoke to last. Was it the teacher? Was it her table partner, George? She says George is always talking, even during silent reading.
Did she even scream?
She screamed the lyrics to We Don’t Talk About Bruno at 7:58 AM as she hopped out of my car in the circle drive.
She always sings the Dolores part, her sister sings Mirabel and I’m Bruno.
“And I wanted you to know that your bro loves you so
Let it in, let it out, let it rain, let it snow, let it goooooo……..”
Did the killer ever see Encanto?
Could we have sat in the same row of seats, on the same day, munching popcorn?
What if Amerie brushed past him in the aisle? Did she politely say, “Excuse me,” to the boy who would someday blow her eye sockets apart?
Was he chomping on bubble gum as he destroyed them all?
If so, what flavor?
Cinnamon?
Wintergreen?
Was the radio on as he drove to massacre them? Or did he drive in silence?
Was the sun in his eyes as he got out of the car in the parking lot?
Did his pockets hold sunglasses or just ammunition?
These are the things I will never know.
There is laundry in the dryer that is Amerie’s.
Clothes I never need to fold again.
Clothes that are right now warmer than her body.
How will I ever be able to take them out of the dryer and where will I put them if not back in her dresser?
I can never wash clothes in that dryer again.
It will stand silent; a tomb for her pajamas and knee socks.
Her cousin’s graduation party is next month and I already signed her name in the card. Should I cross it out?
That will be the last card I ever sign her name to.
The dog will live longer than she will.
The dog will be 12 next month and she will be eternally 10.
What will the school do with her backpack?
It was brand new this year and she attached her collection of keychains like cherished trophies to its zipper.
A beaded 4 leaf clover she made on St. Patty’s Day.
A red heart from a Walk-a-Thon.
A neon ice cream cone from her friend’s birthday party.
Now there will be no more keychains to attach.
No more trophies.
Surely they can’t throw it out?
Would they throw them all out?
19 backpacks, full of stickered assignments and rainboots, all taken to the dumpster behind the school?
Is there even a dumpster big enough to contain all that life?
These are the things someone else knows:
The moment the semiautomatic rifle was put into his hands--was “Bring Me a Higher Love” playing in the gun store? “Get off my Cloud” by the Rolling Stones? Maybe it was Elton John’s “Rocket Man.”
Did the Outback Oasis salesperson hesitate as they slid him 375 rounds of ammunition?
not my problem my kids are grown and out of school
Or I don’t have kids, so I don’t have to worry about their skulls getting blown across the naptime mat 
Or fingers crossed there’s a good guy with an equally powerful gun that will stop this gun if needed
Did they sense any danger or were they more focused on picking that morning’s Raisin Bran out of their teeth?
My Nana used to say, “Pay attention to what whispers, and you won’t have to when it starts screaming.”
But now I know there is a more deafening sound than children screaming.
More horrific even, than automatic rifles on a Tuesday morning.
I beg the world:
Pay attention to what’s screaming today, or be forced to endure the silence that follows."

13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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One of the saddest things I've read from uvalde (Original Post) moonshinegnomie Jun 2022 OP
Every pro gun senator should have to read this moonshinegnomie Jun 2022 #1
Absolutely crushing Blue Owl Jun 2022 #2
Thanks for posting this. sop Jun 2022 #3
K & R Nevilledog Jun 2022 #4
There are even more victims. Dustlawyer Jun 2022 #5
reading this must be especially difficult for you renate Jun 2022 #8
I said, in another thread, that if there were a Pulitzer Prize... 3catwoman3 Jun 2022 #6
Whoa......... secondwind Jun 2022 #7
Wow, this is absolutely disheartening and gut wrenching. Just damn. Initech Jun 2022 #9
Very powerful..... panader0 Jun 2022 #10
This is the reality people should have to face. nolabear Jun 2022 #11
This was not written by a Uvalde mother. berk2804 Jun 2022 #12
who then llashram Jun 2022 #13

Blue Owl

(50,423 posts)
2. Absolutely crushing
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 02:03 PM
Jun 2022


Everyone needs to read this... Short of showing photos of the carnage, this cuts right to the heart of the matter at hand...

Dustlawyer

(10,495 posts)
5. There are even more victims.
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 02:17 PM
Jun 2022

I lost a son in 1993. Reading this, seeing what happens in all of these school shootings, seeing the grieving parents, brings Christmas of 1993 back to me. My son should not be dead and neither should all of the others. There are a lot of parents alive today that relive their child’s death each time this crap happens.

renate

(13,776 posts)
8. reading this must be especially difficult for you
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 03:15 PM
Jun 2022

I know you'd do anything to keep another parent from feeling your heartbreak and pain. I'm so very sorry.

3catwoman3

(24,007 posts)
6. I said, in another thread, that if there were a Pulitzer Prize...
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 02:41 PM
Jun 2022

Last edited Fri Jun 3, 2022, 10:56 PM - Edit history (1)

...specifically for eloquently expressed grief, this mother's words would win.

Initech

(100,080 posts)
9. Wow, this is absolutely disheartening and gut wrenching. Just damn.
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 03:58 PM
Jun 2022


And seriously, the "shall not be infringed" people can go get royally fucked. People are dying mercilessly and senslessly, and you care more about your stupid fucking kill toys than you do about the bodies piling up and Americans scared shitless of being shot. Fuck you to the highest circle of hell. And shove your conspiracy theories where it doesn't shine.

nolabear

(41,986 posts)
11. This is the reality people should have to face.
Fri Jun 3, 2022, 08:39 PM
Jun 2022

They use sanitized language, don’t show images, make big points about protocol, go home and pretend it’s all no big thing. Meanwhile people die both incredibly fast, and very slowly from the inside out.

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