More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Peach Tree Dish Edition

[Fritz67]

So we've been watching, live, for the last couple of weeks how deep the conspiracy to overthrow our democracy has gone. Well, everywhere except Fox News, because to them it's "nothing to see here"...because when a bunch of disgruntled white supremacists try to murder even a Republican Vice President to make a failed businessman and moral garbage fire President For Life because he hates all same people they do, well, that's just not a crime to them. I mean, sure, on the one hand the will of the voters was clear. But on the other hand...gasp...rich people might lose some of their tax giveaways!!!

But you can be sure that next weekend the Deplorables will be talking about how they're the "real patriots" and how much they love America as they shoot off fireworks and wave their Confederate battle flags.

So in the midst of major right wing cognitive dissonance moments, let's also take a look at some of the smaller bits of right wing cognitive dissonance lately.

(No. 55 in an occasional series. I did "People's Republic of Gilead" last list; I was basically finished with this one before yesterday's Supreme Court decision making women nothing more than brood animals was officially issued.)

Reposts and Updates:

* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Joe Biden, Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Al Franken, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Joe Barton, John Bizon, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert (NEW!), Anthony Bouchard, Herman Cain, Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield , Larry Craig, Steve DesJarlais, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr, Mark Foley, Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Sean Hannity, Dennis Hastert, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Gym Jordan, Brett Kavanaugh, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro , Corey Lewandowski , Rush Limbaugh, Josh Mandell, Vance McAllister, John Merrill, Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino (NEW!), Charles Peruto, Tom Reed (NEW!), Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, Ken Starr(!!!), Sarah Stogner, David Stringer, Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, Donald Trump, Ruben Verastigui, David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Herschel Walker (Updated), and Steve Wynn (#32, Feb. 2018)

* You think mail-in voting is dangerous and potentially fraudulent except when you do it. (#44, July 2020)

* You supported ten investigations into the 2012 attack on the US Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, but do not support investigating the attack on Washington DC that wanted to assassinate the Vice President and Speaker of the House. (#49, May 2021)

* Hawaii is part of Kenya. Indiana is in Mexico, and so are Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras. New York City is in Afghanistan, Germany, and Oakland, California is in Jamaica, or maybe India. There are fifty two states in our union. (#1, Nov 2010)

(Sure, there SHOULD be two more states--DC and Puerto Rico--but of course it's Herschel Walker's party that prevents that from happening.)

I missed these with the last list's "People's Republic of Gilead Edition":

* Being a "strict constructionist" judge means overturning decades of precedent to come to the legal conclusion that conservative activists want. (#9, Aug 2012) (It also works for gun laws.)

* Corporations are people. Women are not. (#16, July 2014)

All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:

* All instances of violent criminals actually acting on the hateful, violent rhetoric of right-wing politicians and media personalities are fake and designed to make the right-wing politicians and media personalities look bad.

* Price gouging is good.

* "Free speech" applies to internet racists, anti-vaccination con artists, and anti-American insurrectionists, but not to book stores.

* It's tragic and terrible that there are shortages of baby food, but it's totally acceptable that Republicans voted against doing anything about it.

* Trying to stop domestic terrorism is bad.

* You want to strike a blow against "meanness" by voting for the party of racists, homophobes, misogynists, pedophiles, and warmongers.

* CEOs work 351 times as hard as the average workers.

* A great candidate for a state Attorney General is one who's been indicted for insurance and securities fraud and taking bribes.

* You think it's appropriate to hold a "celebration" of the Second Amendment right after nineteen children are murdered with guns.

* Republicans should be able to lie to Congress and the FBI.

* Republicans are better than Democrats at managing the deficit.

* Democratic activists submitting fake voter signatures; "fraud"; Republican activists submitting fake voter signatures: "technicality".

* Ducks are more important to protect than human children.
And they call US "environmental extremists"?!

* It's Biden's fault gas is so expensive.

* For the Pennsylvania Senate seat, you support a Turkish national who lives in New Jersey and quack TV doctor over the state's current Lieutenant Governor.

* You're a white male author who thinks white male authors are discriminated against even though you're one of the best selling authors of all time.

* Being from the "pro life" party means that it's okay to threaten to murder children when their parents do things you don't like.

* States have the "right" to decide whether women can control their own bodies, but not whether insecure wannabe vigilantes can openly carry guns.

[kimbutgar]

1. Great post!