Father kills himself after finding 18-month-old son dead in hot car

[ItsjustMe]

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/father-kills-himself-18-month-042822446.html

A man in Virginia died by suicide after he found his infant child dead in an overheated car. He had left the child unattented for three hours on Tuesday while he was at work, police officials said.

Officials said the man died of a self-inflicted gunshot injury shortly after finding his 18-month-old child motionless inside the car.

He was found in the woods behind his house.

Authorities were alerted on Tuesday to reach the family’s house. “Upon their arrival, they located the people in the driveway with an open door with an empty child seat in the vehicle. As they made entry into the residence, they found a deceased 18-month-old inside,” said Chesterfield Police Lt Col Christopher Hensley.

When police continued to check the perimeter of the residence, “they found an adult male in the wooded area behind the house [with] an apparent gunshot wound”.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. Horrible tragedy.

[irisblue]

2. From the article...so much grief for the childs mother and family. 🕯️

snip.."The toddler’s mother and relatives had got intouch with the police, saying the child may be in danger as he had not been dropped off at the daycare, Mr Hensley said.{Chesterfield Police Lt Col Christopher Hensley.}
I cannot fathom her & their grief.

[wryter2000]

8. Probably forgot the child was in the car

So tragic.

[inthewind21]

15. How the

hell do you "forgoet" you child? Did he forget his cell phone?

[Roxi]

25. Sadly, it tends to happen with a change in routine

Maybe he doesn’t normally drop the child off at daycare before work. A lot of people go into autopilot mode, especially in the morning. Kid falls asleep in the car, dad goes to work, tragedy strikes.

I’m not sure if there’s any realistic way to keep it from happening, since habits are hard to break. I’ve heard people say to leave your cell phone next to the baby, but if you aren’t doing that every single time you get in the car, you may forget to do it the one time it becomes imperative.

[JHB]

38. Some people put their shoes in the back too...

...since they notice real quick if they forget them.

[wryter2000]

64. That's great

Unless you have a standard shift car. But it would certainly work with automatic.

[JHB]

76. You're missing the point. The shoe thing is just one possibility.

The goal is to have something that breaks you out of autopilot mode when you're leaving the car.

I used to commute to a place that was fairly close to my parents' house, so occasionally I'd bring along an overnight bag for a visit and put it in the overhead rack. After twice leaving it on the train because I didn't even think of it when my stop came up, I made sure that when I had a bag up there it had something dangling down (usually my monthly ticket, which I kept in a plastic sleeve on a lanyard). It didn't bother me when seated, but was in my face when I got up for my stop.

A similar principle is at work here: Something to draw your attention to the back seat before locking up and walking away from the car.

[JanLip]

33. Sadly agree

😭😭

[USALiberal]

34. Really?

[ArnoldLayne]

53. Yes really

[USALiberal]

56. Nice try

[ArnoldLayne]

58. You really want to start an argument over this let it go

Alright....done?

[Sympthsical]

35. Read this Pulitzer Prize winning article about it

It can literally happen to anyone. Even you think, "I could never . . ." That's what a lot of these parents think.

The human brain can be a perilous thing.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

(Paywall. Just hit reload and stop loading right away, and the paywall won't load. Life pro tip).

[LAS14]

82. Thanks for the tip about the paywall. And for posting this link.

We subscribe to the NYT, because we want USA MSM to thrive. It used to be that and the courts. The courts are getting a little shaky. So I was ambivalent about bypassing the paywall (it worked). But I was glad to read an article that emphasized that life is complex. It is not black and white. I wish we could adopt this understanding in our political life.

[Captain Zero]

104. I retired 3 years ago and if I get in the car early in the morning to go

somewhere I can easily begin my old route to work first. I can see if he was the usual person to drop off the child and he got going toward his work and as he got closer to work all his focus was on what he needed to be doing at his workstation. He drives there, hops out of the car and into work he goes. It is very tragic.

[wryter2000]

62. I never had children

So, I can't answer that. But it happens, and obviously this guy wasn't a callous type who didn't love his child. It happens, so it must be possible.

The child would have to be completely quiet, obviously, so it would have to be asleep.

[Goodheart]

94. Totally understandable

Totally tragic and sad.

[Goodheart]

95. Jeezus...

You get into a routine for a while and then the mind plays tricks on you.

It's TOTALLY understandable that someone forgets a silent child in a car. IT HAPPENS QUITE FREQUENTLY, sadly.

[niyad]

101. There was a case here in Colorado a number of years ago. Sitter did not show up,

woman took her child to work. Left the child in the car all day. Child died.

[wryter2000]

69. YES THEY DO

It happens at least once a year.

[wryter2000]

72. I never had children

Please read further in this thread. There are articles, Pulitzer Prize winning, about how this can happen.

If people do it, by definition that makes it a thing. If it's a fact, it's a fact.

[Ms. Toad]

78. Have you bothered to read the article posted several places in this thread?

Most people never forget their children in the car. A few do and something reminds them in enough time that nothing bad happens. Far fewer don't get a reminder until it is too late.

These incidents nearly always happen when there is a break in the norm - and the auto-pilot part of their brain fails to kick itself out of auto-pilot to remember the break. A father taking the child to the babysitter on the way to work - when the mother does it 99% of the time, for example. We get in the car to head to work and wind up there. We wind up there - sometimes without remembering part of all of the journey. That's the part of the brain that allows this to happen.

Children, especially small children often fall asleep in the car - so there is no movement or noise to break the auto-pilot cycle. Requirements that carseats for very small children be in the back, facing the rear, remove much of the chance that there will be a visula reminder when you hop out of your car at work.

It happens. It may not have happened to you. But it happens. I never forgot my child. But I've forgotten to run an errand on the way to or from work. I've forgotten that a street I've used every day for years and years is closed - until I'm past the detour I need to take to avoid the closure. I know how the auto-pilot of my brain works well enough to know that, under a perfect storm of circumstances, I could have forgotten my child.

[LAS14]

85. Thanks! I totally agree with you and told the person you were responding to. nt

[LAS14]

83. I agree with Mrs Toad nt

[RANDYWILDMAN]

92. I have read the article and politely disagree with y'all...

This is all preventable and should be super rare to never happens. If people are on quote "Auto pilot" that much then We, as a country need to change our priorities big time.

Can really be in disagreement on this ?

[Ms. Toad]

100. Yes, we are in disagreement on this.

I'm glad you are so perfect that you pay absolute attention to everything all the time, never go on autopilot, and never make a mistake. You've never forgotten to make a stop on the way to or from work, missed an apointment, etc.

If that isn't the case then you should have no trouble understanding how these accidents happen. You were operating on autopilot - following your normal routine, rather than consciously thinking about each and every single turn on your journey.

These accidents are super rare. There are an average of 38 such deaths in the entire US in a year, out of roughly 20,000 child deaths (.19%), out of roughly 73.1 million children who don't die (.000052%). We hear about them because they are so tragic, not because they are so frequent.

[RANDYWILDMAN]

103. You are calling me out, not sure why

and you have an extreme reaction to this ? (Email/PM if you want/willing to listen)

I have made plenty of mistakes and slips up and missed a few appointments in my life ( I even told my mom off last week, when she still refused to admit Trump lost the election fair and square )

Let not pretend here, these are massive lapses in judgement on the parents part bordering on criminal neglect

I feel terrible for these children and the pain they must have endured

I feel terrible for the parents who have to deal with losing a child

I feel terrible for the spouse of this parent who took their life after losing their child

[Ms. Toad]

108. Calling it a lapse in judgment indicates you fundamentally fail to understand the issue.

When something is a habit, there no is no judgment involved. These parents did not debate whether to leave their children in the car and decide - sure, they will be ok for a few hours.

You are not the only one I've responded to in this thread, but frankly you are the one who seems to be having an extraordinary reaction. Your comment caught my attention because you were shouting. In more than one post, you have expressed incredulity that anyone could possibly have a different opinion than you, despite the fact that the majority in this thread do, science does, as does a journalist who won a Pulitzer prize for their work in this issue.

[Goodheart]

96. YOU DON'T KNOW WTF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

[SYFROYH]

97. It can happen, brother.

I was having a bad day. Sleep deprivation from caring for an infant was rough, work was overwhelming, wife was angry, I was replaying conversations in my head, and had to make one more stop to pick up dinner.

I took about 20 steps away from the car when I realized, omg, my son.

Of course, he was fine, but I was terrified as to how easy it was to forget about the most important person in the world to me.

I love my son so much. I know why the father killed himself.

[bucolic_frolic]

3. Sad, just incredibly sad

[cilla4progress]

4. Tragic.

So sad for this young family.

America does not support our young families enough AT ALL! Tryng to keep our heads above water financially, funding billionaires, puts so much time pressure on young families.

I recall those days - worrying about health insurance, substandard daycare, inflexible bosses...

GODDAMN THEM ALL!

[SoCalDavidS]

5. Total Carelesness + A Gun Equals 2 Dead

How can someone forget that their child is in the car with them? Especially on a very hot day.

[Wingus Dingus]

9. A distracted brain, and a change in routine, and a quiet baby.

Everyone's brains can glitch.

[inthewind21]

16. No excuse

Period. If you are too "distracted" then you don't need kids.

[Wingus Dingus]

18. Everyone's brains can glitch. Everyone can be distracted, including loving parents.

[dwayneb]

20. I agree completely

The idea that a parent is some infallible machine that can never make a mistake, even a horrific mistake like this one, is not realistic. We raised 4 children and while I'd like to think that something like this would never happen, there were plenty of times when stress/demands completely overwhelmed our abilities to cope or keep our focus on the daily tasks.

It's hard to imagine the horror and pain this man felt after he realized his mistake, I guess he felt it was something he could never live with.

[Wingus Dingus]

24. Yes, he must have been absolutely distraught--his poor family, losing

father and son within hours. Probably had his mind on work, baby was quiet--maybe he didn't usually go to the daycare center, or he didn't sleep well, or he stopped for gas or a breakfast sandwich and that replaced/substituted for the stop at the daycare center in his mind. I know exactly how this can happen. I'm just lucky it didn't happen to me when my kids were little.

[dwayneb]

37. Yep we had a close call once

Waaay back before modern safely anchored child seats, they had these child carriers called "pumpkin seats".

For some reason the two of us were not communicating well, and my wife had placed the pumpkin seat + child on the trunk, and I started to drive off, not realizing he was back there. Fortunately she was able to stop me before driving out onto the street, but it was a close call.

Point is having been a parent, I can definitely see how something like this might happen. As I noted in a response below, auto manufacturers could easily implement a system to detect motion in a hot car and roll down windows or sound an alarm.

[wryter2000]

68. A non-tragic example

Our church used to take kids to the Yale/Brown football game. Parents would car pool. One year, a parent loaded all the kids into his car except for his own child. He went back and got his child (although this was before cell phones, so there had to be a lot of terror involved for both parent and child).

It's possible to forget your own child.

[orleans]

74. that is the springboard / premise for the movie home alone

they load up everybody and are on the plane when they realize they left their kid at home

[Ms. Toad]

79. It happened in real life (not as dramatically) to my BIL.

7 kids in the family. They went on a road trip, stopped for a break, and after the break loaded everyone up in the car to head on. A couple of hours down the road, someone noticed that only 8 members of the family were in the car. Those in the back thought my BIL was in the front. Those in the front thought he was in the back.

Police had been looking for them on the main roads, and the radio stations had been making announcements searching for my in-laws. Unfortunately, they ahd been bored with the main roads, so they decided to take the back roads for a change in scenery. They also, for some reason, had turned the radio off.

You know that whoever wrote that movie had to have experienced something like that in their childhood . . .

[orleans]

93. if the writer didn't experience it personally perhaps they heard a similar story

from the neighbors, a friend, or perhaps even your BIL!

[Wingus Dingus]

86. Yes, there is no good reason why they can't come up with, or apply,

technology to prevent deaths, either child or animal. None.

[ArnoldLayne]

57. This above exactly

[Captain Zero]

105. Hasn't everyone walked into a room and forgot why they went there? Or

have you ever driven home from work and when you get home realize you were on auto pilot, you don't really remember the drive? I have.

I think this situation is similar brain function. Very tragic but similar.

[USALiberal]

46. Same for a car wreck, never drive again? Nt

[wryter2000]

10. The day didn't have to be hot

Even in the low eighties, a car in the sun can get really hot.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

12. "How can someone forget that their child is in the car with them?" Very easily.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

“Memory is a machine,” he says, “and it is not flawless. Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”

Diamond is a professor of molecular physiology at the University of South Florida and a consultant to the veterans hospital in Tampa. He’s here for a national science conference to give a speech about his research, which involves the intersection of emotion, stress and memory. What he’s found is that under some circumstances, the most sophisticated part of our thought-processing center can be held hostage to a competing memory system, a primitive portion of the brain that is -- by a design as old as the dinosaur’s -- inattentive, pigheaded, nonanalytical, stupid.

Diamond is the memory expert with a lousy memory, the one who recently realized, while driving to the mall, that his infant granddaughter was asleep in the back of the car. He remembered only because his wife, sitting beside him, mentioned the baby. He understands what could have happened had he been alone with the child. Almost worse, he understands exactly why.

The human brain, he says, is a magnificent but jury-rigged device in which newer and more sophisticated structures sit atop a junk heap of prototype brains still used by lower species. At the top of the device are the smartest and most nimble parts: the prefrontal cortex, which thinks and analyzes, and the hippocampus, which makes and holds on to our immediate memories. At the bottom is the basal ganglia, nearly identical to the brains of lizards, controlling voluntary but barely conscious actions.

Diamond says that in situations involving familiar, routine motor skills, the human animal presses the basal ganglia into service as a sort of auxiliary autopilot. When our prefrontal cortex and hippocampus are planning our day on the way to work, the ignorant but efficient basal ganglia is operating the car; that’s why you’ll sometimes find yourself having driven from point A to point B without a clear recollection of the route you took, the turns you made or the scenery you saw.

Ordinarily, says Diamond, this delegation of duty “works beautifully, like a symphony. But sometimes, it turns into the ‘1812 Overture.’ The cannons take over and overwhelm.”

By experimentally exposing rats to the presence of cats, and then recording electrochemical changes in the rodents’ brains, Diamond has found that stress -- either sudden or chronic -- can weaken the brain’s higher-functioning centers, making them more susceptible to bullying from the basal ganglia. He’s seen the same sort of thing play out in cases he’s followed involving infant deaths in cars.

“The quality of prior parental care seems to be irrelevant,” he said. “The important factors that keep showing up involve a combination of stress, emotion, lack of sleep and change in routine, where the basal ganglia is trying to do what it’s supposed to do, and the conscious mind is too weakened to resist. What happens is that the memory circuits in a vulnerable hippocampus literally get overwritten, like with a computer program. Unless the memory circuit is rebooted -- such as if the child cries, or, you know, if the wife mentions the child in the back -- it can entirely disappear.”

[GopherGal]

49. I immediately thought of that feature piece, as well.

It won the 2010 Pulitzer in Feature Writing.

One excerpt I remember brings back the "unintended consequences" thing:

Two decades ago, this was relatively rare. But in the early 1990s, car-safety experts declared that passenger-side front airbags could kill children, and they recommended that child seats be moved to the back of the car; then, for even more safety for the very young, that the baby seats be pivoted to face the rear. If few foresaw the tragic consequence of the lessened visibility of the child . . . well, who can blame them? What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

50. It changed my thinking about the whole issue, instantly. I used to be someone who would say "no one

forgets to go to work, why would you forget your kid?" I now have a better understanding of the science, as well as the stresses capitalism puts on us that we think are "normal," and I try to do better.

[The Revolution]

102. Me too

This article completely changed my thinking on the issue. It should be required reading.

[Sympthsical]

52. Thanks for posting

I did above before I saw yours.

Every time one of these stories is in the news and people say, "I would never do this. The parent is awful. They must have secretly wanted it, etc." - the usual array of horrid things, I throw down this article.

Our brains cannot be entirely trusted. Most times it's stupid and pointless (I put the cream in the cupboard instead of the coffee this morning). Sometimes, it's deadly.

[wryter2000]

67. It's really very sad

This happens, and so many of us are willing to accuse the person of negligent homicide of their own child. We're not talking about people deliberately leaving a child in a car here. Obviously, this was a mistake, and it drove the man to suicide. At least, he doesn't know he's being judged.

[USALiberal]

26. FFS, people make mistakes! So kind of you! Nt

[BannonsLiver]

89. Don't worry. He won't be troubling you anymore.

[blueknight73]

6. I saw a lady on tv

She said any time you put your child in the back seat, take off your left shoe and put it back there as well.

[ripcord]

7. I think it is strange that people have to put something important in the backseat with their kids

to keep them from forgetting them in the car. What is more important than your kids?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

13. It doesn't have anything to do with importance. As experts say, if you can forget your cell phone,

you can forget your child.

[Mellomugwump]

14. There's a very good article out there...

On why this happens. I wish I could remember where I saw it. It typically happens when people are under a lot of stress and they're following a different routine, such as they're not the parent that usually takes them to daycare. In their mind, they dropped their kid off and they're safe and sound at daycare.

Anybody that doesn't think this could happen to them has lived a sheltered and low stress life.

[dwayneb]

27. It can happen to anyone

We tend to forget that the technologies and conveniences we love are dangerous.

An automobile is a fine conveyance, but consider how many unnecessary deaths happen constantly because we like our cars. Ranging from a horrible event like forgetting a child or a pet in a car, to life-ending collisions.

150 years ago this particular mode of dying was unheard of. Point is, there is a price to pay for convenience.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

31. Is it this one? It's what changed my thinking on it, years ago.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

[Mellomugwump]

41. Yes, that was it!

It explained it very well and told some really compelling stories. These people are just shattered.

[USALiberal]

28. Really?????

[Ms. Toad]

30. It is precisely because a child is most important,

That failsafe steps should be implemented to ensure tragedies like this don't happen. Think of the things (or people) we surround with multiple layers of safety - are they the most important, or least important to protect?

Reading between the lines,it does not appear the family is intact

The mother, and her family, called the police, rather than (apparently) the father's workplace when the child did not appear at caycare.

It seems likely to me that it was not routine for the father to drop the child off every morning. The shoe isn't "important," per se. but remembering that this morning is critically different is. Creating a habit around that critical difference (i.e. If my child is in the car seat, my shoe is next to them) especially when It results in a physical reminder of that the daily habit (of driving straight to work) has changed for the day, adds a failsafe layer to protect that most important child.

Habits are very powerful things. The shoe isn't important - but with such precious cargo on board, disrupting habitual behavior is.

[Mellomugwump]

43. And you're going to immediately notice the lack of a shoe!

You might not remember your child was in the car until somebody calls because they weren't dropped off and then it's too late.

[Ms. Toad]

45. That is what I was referring to when i said physical reminder.

Sorry i wasn't more explicit.

[Mellomugwump]

73. I was basically agreeing with what you said!

I think if I had little kids, I'd just always put the shoe back there, so I'd be in the habit when they were with me. Nobody ever thinks theres a possibility that they would forget.

[ArnoldLayne]

51. Of course you would put it in backseat by the baby

Like that one person said to do.

[Ms. Toad]

80. It actually wouldn't matter where it was, as long as it wasn't on your foot.

The key is to have something which unavoidably reminds you that today is different. Just that brief interruption of auto-pilot will turn your thinking brain back on so you remember why you took your shoe off.

[yardwork]

42. This has has been explained over and over.

I guess it makes some people feel better about themselves to assume that there's something wrong with people who make terrible mistakes.

[USALiberal]

84. +1000

[alphafemale]

11. Because my shoe is so much more important than my child.

ugg

[inthewind21]

17. No matter

what the circumstance, one thing is guaranteed. A way to excuse it will be found. And we wonder how we got here.

[Ms. Toad]

66. Seriously?

Read the Washington post article linked to. It's not an excuse. It's a science-based explanation of how the brain works, sometimes resulting in extreme tragedy.

[yardwork]

87. Jesus wept.

[petronius]

29. Isn't that you would immediately notice a missing shoe when you stepped out of the car? (nt)

[Ms. Toad]

36. Precisely.

When your daily habit is to drive straight to work, It creates a new habit (child in sear; shoe beside them) which provides a physical reminder not to follow the daily routine - and if you forget, that first barefoot step on hot pavement gives you a wake-up call.

[RobinA]

32. Do You Truly

not understand this concept?

[USALiberal]

39. Lol, you really don't get it!

[JHB]

60. No, it's not. But you will notice right away when you get out of the car.

And if your normal routine was to drive to work, not normally making a stop at daycare, you will be forced to remember to get it out of the back seat. And presumably also remember "holy sh*t, I drove right past the daycare place" and correct that error immediately, not several hours and a horrible tragedy later.

[JI7]

110. No , It's just that you easily remember if you don't have the shoe. Even compared to your wallet and

phone you would still more easily remember the missing shoe even though you would probably agree the phone and wallet are more important .

[jeffreyi]

23. Good idea.

Same thing with our furry friends, anything alive for that matter.

[Kaleva]

19. A car can be a solar oven on a sunny day

[fightforfreedom]

21. That is really sad. Life can be so tragic.

[dwayneb]

22. There is a simple technological solution - but auto manufacturers and regulators don't seem to care

Modern cars have the ability to monitor temperature in the interior of a vehicle; and they can easily add motion sensors on the interior of a car.

If car is parked for some period of time, if the temperature gets beyond a certain point, and their is motion inside the vehicle, then there are several simple actions that would be automatic - roll down the windows, sound an alarm, for example.

But because we hate the "R" word we refuse to enact life saving regulations like this.

[Totally Tunsie]

90. Numerous auto mfgrs have already implemented infant safety systems.

There's a lengthy list of brands and models in this article in a comprehensive chart if you scroll down just a bit. Here's an example:

Rear Occupant Alerts in New Cars by Brand
2022
BRAND MODEL TYPE TRIM STANDARD / OPTIONAL

Acura MDX End-of-Trip Reminder
Acura RDX End-of-Trip Reminder
Buick Enclave End-of-Trip Reminder
Buick Encore End-of-Trip Reminder
Buick Envision End-of-Trip Reminder
Cadillac CT4 End-of-Trip Reminder

and the list goes on all the way through Volkswagen.

Some systems operate by just a reminder to check the backseat at end of trip, others have weight sensors that detect a child/pet in backseat, and some have a system that will alert your cellphone if you get further away than 15' from vehicle. There's more new tech in the works.


https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/guide-to-rear-seat-reminder-systems/

[Dysfunctional]

40. How about having all new cars have a warning alarm if you shut off the car and leave the vehicle

and there is a certain amount of weight on the back seat. Maybe have a way of installing it on all cars.

[Duppers]

48. Excellent idea!!

TY.

[GopherGal]

54. apparently such a thing has been patented...

From the article cited in a couple of posts above (numbers 31 and 12)
Recall the article was dated 2009, BTW:

There are a few aftermarket products that alert a parent if a child remains in a car that has been turned off. These products are not huge sellers. They have likely run up against the same marketing problem that confronted three NASA engineers a few years ago.

In 2000, Chris Edwards, Terry Mack and Edward Modlin began to work on just such a product after one of their colleagues, Kevin Shelton, accidentally left his 9-month-old son to die in the parking lot of NASA Langley Research Center in Hampton, Va. The inventors patented a device with weight sensors and a keychain alarm. Based on aerospace technology, it was easy to use; it was relatively cheap, and it worked.

Janette Fennell had high hopes for this product: The dramatic narrative behind it, she felt, and the fact that it came from NASA, created a likelihood of widespread publicity and public acceptance.

That was five years ago. The device still isn't on the shelves. The inventors could not find a commercial partner willing to manufacture it. One big problem was liability. If you made it, you could face enormous lawsuits if it malfunctioned and a child died. But another big problem was psychological: Marketing studies suggested it wouldn't sell well.

The problem is this simple: People think this could never happen to them.

[wryter2000]

75. I wonder

if the child seat could emit a constant low signal when there's any weight in it. The sound could alert drivers that the child is back there if the child falls asleep.

[Totally Tunsie]

91. The technology is already here.

https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/guide-to-rear-seat-reminder-systems/

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=16870403

Some systems operate by just a reminder to check the backseat at end of trip, others have weight sensors that detect a child/pet in backseat, and some have a system that will alert your cellphone if you get further away than 15' from vehicle. There's more new tech in the works.

[Captain Zero]

107. Right for seatbelt purposes my car detects people in front passenger seat.

so the sensors are available. this car is a 2011.

[Emile]

44. Wow oh my god. So sad!

[ArnoldLayne]

47. What a tragedy I have a 6 year old Son my only child.

I'm 64 years old. If I was responsible for his death I would do the same thing I would no longer want to live sad to say. I worried about that when he was a Baby in the Summer. I had mirrors in my car and kept checking on him off and on all night until he was 2 years old. Awful Awful Awful I hate to even think about it even now.

[Bettie]

55. I can't imagine leaving my kid in the car

but, we lost our first at birth, so I was always hyperaware of where my kids were especially when they were babies.

[867-5309.]

59. Glad he had a gun handy

[ArnoldLayne]

61. Even your Sarcasm gif doesn't make it better. I can't

Believe you would even post glad he had a gun handy over such a sad, no horrible, unfortunate, unimaginable tragedy.

[liberal_mama]

63. I hope it doesn't happen more now since so many people have brain fog from getting infected w/ Covid

I would have done the same thing if I accidentally killed one of my children. How could someone go on with their life after that?

[ArnoldLayne]

70. Exactly that's what I thought and posted the something

Liberal_mama.

[Ms. Toad]

81. It could go either way.

The brain fog makes it harder to remember - but once you are aware of the fog you are also on alert to find coping mechanisms (at least the folks I know with post-covid brain fog).

[Tree Lady]

88. Yes I think of him coming home to tell his wife

He shot himself near the home so he must have gone inside for gun. We will never know if wife said something to him. Any mother would react with anger and shock.

[PlanetBev]

77. I've had two friends who forgot to pick up their toddlers at daycare

It occurred at a time when they were both extremely stressed out.

[JI7]

98. Maybe Daycare should text parents if child is not dropped off

A return text would be required confirming that child will not go that day or that they are on the way.

If no reply have other parent and maybe 1 more such as aunt , uncle grandparent, neighbor recieve message if regular parents don't respond.

[Captain Zero]

106. I think the mother was contacted later in the morning.

Think I saw it in OP.
But, she wasn't the one dropping off the toddler.

[JI7]

109. How much later ? I think it needs to be a process

If they aren't dropped off by a certain time (for example half and hour after the child was supposed to be dropped off) they contact various guardians until they get a response . It can't be too late because the whole point is to avoid what happened .

Would have to see the details of mother being contacted .

It would be mostly annoying but a small thing to avoid the deaths and harm to kids .

If the mother was contacted then I assume it could be that the mother regularly dropped the child off and this was one of the times the father was going to do it and that's why he forgot about it because it wasn't part of his regular morning routine .

[beaglelover]

99. What a fucking horrible story. RIP!

[Raine]

111. I can't help but feel sorry for him ( I'm more sorry for the little boy) but

the father couldn't live knowing he was responsible for the death. 💔 It's just so awful all around and now the mother has to deal with both deaths.