Texas trans activist, 11, flees the state after years of advocacy

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-community-voices/texas-trans-activist-kai-shappley-flees-state-years-advocacy-rcna37000

*snip*

Her mom, Kimberly Shappley, had resisted moving for years — even after the state considered more than 50 bills targeting trans people in 2021, and even after it began investigating parents for abuse if they were suspected of providing gender-affirming medical care to their kids.

Shappley said she first began planning a move during last year’s legislative session, when Kai testified against a bill that would’ve made it a felony for doctors to provide trans minors with gender-affirming medical care.

But then she said two recent events kicked that slow planning process into “overdrive”: the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade last month, and then an interview that her 9-year-old son, Kaleb, did with Vogue magazine as part of an article about Kai.

“We pray when people are in danger, for them not to be in danger and for them all to be OK,” Kaleb told Vogue as he walked across a playground. “We pray for people not to take mom away. We pray about everyone, everything. Because CPS wants to take Kai away because she’s trans, and we’re going to get adopted and Kai will have to be forced not to be trans,” Kaleb said, referring to the state Child Protective Services.

Shappley said that when she saw the interview, she thought, “I can’t keep doing this to my kids.”

*snip*


This just breaks my heart.

[blm]

1. 😢

[electric_blue68]

2. So Cruel! And her poor kids, too, being up rooted.

[Sympthsical]

3. "since she was 5"

I don't think this article reads how people think it reads. A five year old activist?

What's the over-under that mom has an awful lot to do with everything involved in the situation. I'd be very interested to know what an adult Kai ends up having to say. Who wants odds it may not be great?

What's going on in Texas is inhuman and horrible. No argument.

But I can't imagine anyone reading how a mother pushed her kid from five years old on as a political activism product doesn't have their "not quite right" spidey senses tingling. She's been pushing both her kids out into the media.

Seems messed up no matter what political matter we're discussing. I think this is a lot more about Kimberly than Kai and Kaleb.

A lot more.

[Ms. Toad]

5. I won't claim to have been an activist at age 5 -

But I was politically and socially aware by age 5, and an activist by age 10.

I also have a friend whose child is now 14, who identified as trans by age 3. Pre-COVID, I saw him once or twice a year - it's all him, not his mother.

How about listening to Kai, and celebrating the fact that she has a supportive family (unlike a significant number of LGBT individuals) - rather than being suspicious of the shape that support takes.

[Sympthsical]

6. Because I know what children are like

I also know what parents are like. Child pageants don't happen by themselves.

I have never liked children being pushed as a political product no matter what the cause nor who is doing the pushing. I have done a lot of work with LGBT youth and was a gay kid myself once. I will always be happy when a child is being raised in a supportive environment, because I have seen the consequences of what happens when they aren't.

That is why what is happening in Texas is so deplorable.

But that does not preclude reading a situation and having something not settle right. When the other kid started getting dragged in, that went from eyebrow raise to full furrow. I've seen these parents. I've met these parents. I've also seen the aftermath of these parents.

I put my humanity before my politics. Always.

If you have a different opinion, that's fine. But I'm going with my strong suspicion that Kimberly is . . . a lot. I genuinely hope I'm wrong and everyone grows up to be happy and healthy. That's the best kind of wrong.

[Ms. Toad]

8. "Child pageants don't happen by themselves"

First - political and social activism is not a pageant.

Second - you obviously didn't know me, as a child, or some of the youth I know now - who were politically active on our own (with the support of parents) both at Kai's age now, and younger. Not all politically or socially active children are "pushed as a political product." A child aware enough to announce her gender identity to her parents at 4 is also a child who is more likely than average to engage in activism around that identity.

As to Caleb - he seemed more of a reluctant participant - he should have been left out of it.

[Sympthsical]

24. You know what pinged it?

Besides the obvious with the ages and the decision to push one then both children into the media from a very young age. It's a small thing, but once you're around these kinds of parents enough, the little signs start to build.

It's the kids' names. Kai. Kaleb. Kimberly. The K's. How the mother wanted K's like herself, even though Caleb is the traditional form. Kai's deadname began with a J. Children as an extension of herself. Stand alone, you may not notice it. Mix it in with the rest, and the fact the father checked right on out, and if you're familiar with these situations, you start to get it. How the mother promotes herself just as much as the kid. Before my initial response, I went back and read some stories because I was curious about the age. Again and again, it becomes clear how much is about the mother.

I'm not discussing gay/trans issues or Kai's journey. I'm discussing the parent. So the intentional steering around as if I am is a nonsequitur. I'm gay. I know what being different from a young age is like. That is completely irrelevant to what bothers me. Kai deserves every happiness with her life.

Support should be a net - not a cattle prod.

And that's all I'm going to say on this topic.

[Ms. Toad]

25. My niece, who is as progressive as they get, and definitely not a controlling parent

Is about to have her 3rd son whose name starts with "G."

Not to mention that neither of Kai's birth names started with a K, nor does the name she goes by in her private life.

Mom started as a fundamentalist, and tried to beat the trans out of her daughter. That early abuse was described as "we," so Dad almost certainly checked out because he still wanted to beat the trans out of her.

[Victor_c3]

23. +1 n/t

[vanlassie]

9. I read the same article. I do not see anything that would lead me to

think the mom has been pushing her kids ….as an activism product.” Do you have any evidence? Or just your spider sense.

[Laha]

10. I identified as trans by 4 or 5

But that was back in the 80's. I didn't have media or anyone else telling me to be trans. In fact the exact opposite.

I spent years in suicidal isolation because I was terrified about telling anyone how I felt. If I had a parent who supported me like this lucky* person's mother has, it would not have been her pushing me to be an activist. I would have felt the strength within me to do it because it was important and right.

I've even been enduring painful conversations coming from close friends about this. I've had to remind them that they are talking about me.

*Not lucky for life circumstances, lucky for good family

[Deuxcents]

15. Welcome to DU

I hope you feel loved n comfortable here.

[Laha]

20. Thank you!

I very much do.

That's why I've been around for so long. I just don't talk much. Usually because I find it too easy to be an acerbic arse, and I've accidentally misdirected my ire on a few occasions.

I love it here. Thank you for making me feel so welcome.

[Withywindle]

21. Welcome!

Thank you for your insight, and I hope you don't have to deal with too much BS here.

Supportive parents help their children feel confident to speak out. We need more of them for trans and queer kids, not fewer.

[Laha]

27. Thank you!

I've never had to deal with anyone else's bullshit here. I do regret the moments that I let my own mouth run away with me though.

My Mom always was supportive, I just didn't live with her. But there's no point wasting time in regretting things that may have been when you had no ability to change them.

Better to look forward to a happier future.

[Hortensis]

28. :) Thanks for the valuable personal experiences, Laha.

So agree with the rest of your post. This mother and her children are swept up in something much bigger than their ability to control, but they're handling it inspiringly.

[scarletlib]

22. 1 was inspecting a Head Start preschool in early 2004.

All the kids were napping. There was one little boy still awake. He was playing quietly at a toy ironing board & pretending to iron clothes. He had a dress on over his outfit. I asked the caretaker about him. She said, “oh that just k….n. He always dresses like that.”

Pretty sure he was/is trans and couldn’t have been more than 4 yrs old.

People need to understand it’s not a choice. It’s biology.

[Laha]

26. Thank you!

Hearing that can change the world for a young person.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

32. Welcome to DU

I'm glad you're here and glad you've made it through those tough times. It's good to have you here.

[vercetti2021]

18. I knew I was different by age 6

I acted and dressed like a girl because my cousins would doll me up because I asked. I knew I was different at that age. But I hid myself away in the closet because I never knew what was happening with me. I brushed it off as depression, maybe bipolar. But I was tired of denying it. I came out and I came out late in life at 29.

But I knew at age 6. Now I got the treatment for over a year and I'm who I always felt like I was. Age doesn't matter when you feel it.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

31. I'll tell you what doesn't "settle right"

An innocent 11 year old trans girl has had to live in the crosshairs of ALEC, ADF and all of these other right-wing thugs who have decided to spend 2022 going full-Nazi on the trans community. It doesn't matter to me whether she started speaking out at 5 or 11 or somewhere in between. The thing is, she's been willing to speak up and take a stand for her and others like her. I don't question that, I envy that. I wish I had fully understood at that age that I wasn't the only one and treatment and transitioning existed, along with having the courage to speak up and knowing the right things to say.

The only ones who should be questioned or called out in this sad story are the alt-right thugs working hard to turn Texas into the Lone Swastika State.

What Texas has done to that family and other families like their is disgraceful. And the only "pageantry" on display is a pageantry of hate and bigotry coming from Texas' Ya'll-qaeda.

[LostOne4Ever]

33. You have no clue what happened

For all you know it was the daughter who pushed the mom to let her speak out.

And the fact that you are trying to frame the mother as a bad guy when in fact that it was the transphobic right that ultimately pushed this child to speak out tells me all I need to know here.

[Sympthsical]

34. Both can be true

The Right is deplorable (which is generally a given), and I wonder about the mom in the story.

Two thoughts at the same time. Pretty easy.

This sort of thing reminds me of a subreddit. I can't remember it. But it was an ode to parents who would post hilariously unbelievable stories about their kids. "Just the other day, Krissy, who is five and very aware, was telling me how the diplomatic failure in Belize is the worst thing to happen since the Spanish American War. #proudmom". I'm exaggerating for effect, but you get the picture.

I mean, it's obviously the parent pretending the child is having an adult thought about politics to 1. Make a point and 2. Make their child into a genius which 3. is really more about the parent's ego than the kid.

This sort of thing is all over social media. I typically think it's hilarious, that this parent thinks anyone believes it was the child's idea. Like, self-awareness aisle ten. And reading this article then others, I got a lot of the same vibes. Mom centers herself again and again and again when it's supposed to be about her child.

Politics can't be all things at all times, or else we're not really human anymore. We've checked our empathy and judgement at the door. The human in me side-eyed the mom pretty hard.

[LostOne4Ever]

36. There could be an invisible and intangible Texas sized Teapot

Orbiting between the earth and moon right now.

Idle speculation is just that. And it is irresponsible and deplorable to do so at the expense of the mother of a young trans girl who is trying her best to help a daughter who is being forced to fight for her rights by transphobic bigots.

You have no evidence or proof. You might as well as say she looks like drug dealer and accuse her of that too.

[Sympthsical]

37. I went back and read several old articles

So it wasn't speculation out of thin air. I have eyes, a mind, extensive experience with human beings, and a pretty decent ability to read people.

I commented on it because it's interesting to me. We're allowed to have our thoughts. If you don't have those same thoughts, okedoke. It's not the worst thing that will happen this week. It is immaterial whether or not you or I care about this or what we care about this. No one's ever going to see it.

[LostOne4Ever]

38. Incorrect

This message could be read by someone in a swing state and possibly influence their vote. It could cause someone to doubt a family of a trans person in need. It could be read by a trans person desperately looking for support on a site that claims to be on their side.

There is damage that can be done even here.

If you have evidence, hard evidence from REPUTABLE sources you should use that. But I have my doubts about the reputability of said “articles.”

And every single person who makes spurious accusations can claim to have a mind, extensive experience, etc. It doesn’t change the fact that they are making stuff up from nothing.

In this case, you are doing it in such a way that could potentially harm a mother of a trans girl who is already fighting the state of Texas like hell for her daughter. She doesn’t need you making up stuff to make her life even more difficult.

Really you should just drop this and delete your posts.

Goodnight.

[Sympthsical]

39. You're basically declaring opinion void

"You read an articles and formed opinions about someone heavily featured in them. That's not allowed!"

That's not how any of this works.

[LostOne4Ever]

40. Your opinion is irresponsible and harmful

I never said it was void. It would be nice if it was void. Too many transphobes put forth opinions like yours and treat them as fact as it is currently.

That said, an opinion based on nothing (or in this case an article you seem hesitant to provide for us to verify or refute) has no value to anyone who knows how to have a logical debate. Any position put forward without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

And yes that is exactly how it works.

So unless you want to give a link we are done here with your character assassination of a loving mother of a trans girl. But I am willing to bet that you won’t do that. Where is the article from? The federalist? Some Gender Critical/ TERF rag site?

[unitedwethrive]

4. So brave! They can't even afford to move, but are just going to live out of their car until they can

find something in a safer place. There is a gofundme, for those interested:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/trans-kids-family-searching-for-sanctuary

[Initech]

7. There are some seriously dark forces at work in the Lone Star State.

I personally blame Fox but I'm sure there's more to it than that. But really fuck the people that run Texas right now.

[calimary]

13. Pox Noise is the mother's milk of far-wrong thinking.

It's validated and defended and encouraged on Pox Noise. Hatred lives and is not just acceptable but damn near sanctified. The constant messaging is that "you're RIGHT to feel this way! And you're being discriminated against and punished marginalized by 'The Other' and it's just SOOOO unfair!!! You have a RIGHT to hate! It's GOOD that you hate! Be out 'n' proud of your hatred and prejudice and resentment! YOU'RE the victim!!!"

That's one network full of poison - SO poisonous that it spawned wannabe lesser networks that are just as poisonous but don't have the audience share.

Despicable, ALL of them.

[Initech]

19. Agreed! They are increasingly becoming a clear and present danger to this country!

You can see that they are pulling the strings in Texas on this one, and same thing in Florida. Fox News has got to be stopped.

[ancianita]

11. Some day those kids will thank her for moving and saving their family.

Texas sure won't.

For Texans' sake I hope they get a win for O'Rourke.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. Analysis: Texas officials bully transgender kids for political points

Paxton and Abbott are attacking and threatening trans children for political points

Link to tweet

https://www.texastribune.org/2022/03/11/texas-transgender-politics/?utm_campaign=trib-social-buttons&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social

Greg Abbott and Ken Paxton are turning the law-and-order Republican Party into a gang of bullies, targeting transgender kids — and the parents who support them — with their decision to treat gender-affirming health care as child abuse.

That health care is legal under Texas law, but this is election season. Cynics who think politicians will say anything to get reelected have a new, sparkling piece of evidence......

But most of those aren’t sexy election issues. Paxton is in a runoff. Abbott faces a well-known, well-financed Democrat in November. And as The Texas Tribune’s Patrick Svitek has reported, they think they’ve got a hot item to entice Republican voters.

“This is a winning issue,” Abbott’s top political strategist, Dave Carney, told reporters last week. “Texans have common sense.”....

“How is that considered child abuse to accept them and love them?” one mother told them. “How can they overstep their power and try to come and tell me how I should love my child?”

[GoodRaisin]

35. "Small government".

[Wednesdays]

14. K&R.

[roamer65]

16. This country is fucked.

I don’t see hanging together much longer.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

30. As Texas continues its descent into being a third-world fascist shithole

After all, they have had nothing better to do in 2022 than bully and terrorize trans kids. Uvalde? Who cares. A heatwave now leading to blackouts on their vaunted power grid? So what. 50+ bills in half a year with no other purpose than to spread hate and discrimination toward an already vulnerable group of people. All so some heartless and brainless toad can get his rocks off hurting others.

My whole life went south at the age of 11. Why? Along with all the family problems (what else is new there?), I found myself starting puberty. And with that came a whole ton of self-loathing and the desire for self-harm and wanting nothing more than to hide from the world (or even not exist) because of what the hell I was going through. I had a pretty good idea of what was going on... except for how to explain it. We didn't discuss such things back then. We sure as hell didn't have too many public examples, outside of Renee Richards (who by that point had been out of the spotlight for several years.) And considering how much half of my family hated people who had darker skin than them... I sure didn't expect them to think much of me being a woman in the wrong body.

I can't imagine how awful it would be to live in daily fear of CPS and the government going after you and your family just because your trans. Being 11 is hard. Being 11 and trans is even harder. Being 11, trans and in fear of your own state government? Now that is child abuse.

Which is exactly what the fuck Abbutt and Co. have been doing to trans youth all year... Child abuse.

I'm glad Kai and her family are getting the hell out now. Because I fear it's only going to get worse if they don't leave now.

Absolutely heartbreaking and infuriating.