Panhandler.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

I stopped at Pavillion on Vine and Melrose on my way to pick up my partner at work whose office is in Mid Wilshire. This gentleman comes up to me and says he has two children to feed and could I lend him some money. I opened my wallet and gave him five dollars. I thought that was generous. There are a lot of high rollers if you go about another mile south when Vine turns into Rossmore. That's Fairfax and I'm definitely not one of those high rollers. After I gave him the five dollars he asked for ten!!!

[a kennedy]

1. Damn, the nerve..........my husband always gives "the corner people" money, and I worry

for him, he’s a skinflint, weighs 140 lbs, and uses a cane……I worry someone will knock him over and take all his money.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

2. He saw my wallet. That was a mistake

I keep enough money in it for a full tank of gas which is about one hundred twenty dollars. Some times I see senior citizens panhandling by highway exits. I'll park my car in some instances and go back and give them some money. The man in my original post was kind of aggressive.

[a kennedy]

3. Right, can't show the cash, I keep telling my husband that as well.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

4. Can't show the cash. Again, can't show the cash.

I used to go downtown a lot. Now, not so much. And when I did I would keep loose change for panhandlers, separate from my wallet.

[wnylib]

13. This is why I do not give to panhandlers

It is not out of stinginess, but for safety. I am in my 70s, a 5'1" female. I live within easy walking distance of a library branch and a shopping plaza. I encounter people asking for money often and always say that I don't have any. Generally, that is true since I use a card for most purchases and rarely carry cash on me. I also keep the bank card and my ID in my pocket and usually do not carry a purse. If I need to have the purse with me, I conceal it in a shopping bag (it's a small purse).

I feel bad for the homeless people and those who need money, but don't want to take chances. I donate to a food bank and to a church that gives out necessities and clothing to the homeless. But I do not feel safe about giving direct donations on the street.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

14. That's a good point.

But if I'm going to an area where I know I'm going to encounter panhandlers I usually keep some money for "donations" separate from my wallet.

[Hekate]

5. As a woman I seldom open my wallet unless at a cash register, but several years ago...

Last edited Fri Jul 8, 2022, 01:39 AM - Edit history (1)

… there was a slew of panhandlers not far from the grocery store, some with children in tow. As this went on for some weeks, I decided to buy a short stack of Trader Joe’s gift cards, $5 apiece, and give them out (one or two at a time, depending). I figured if they were really feeding their kids, that would get them peanut butter or bread or milk, and if it was a scam, the amount wouldn’t hurt me. But seriously, who would subject their kids to that for no reason? I hoped it helped.

Somewhere in that same period of time I was heading for my car with my groceries in the late afternoon when I saw a man and woman with an open guitar case & on impulse dropped in a small bill to add to what was there, which caused her to scream at me that she couldn't find a place to sleep for that. I was not expecting thanks, but really, some people do not do much to restore your faith in humanity.

Went by the gas station and was approached by a young woman whose boyfriend was waiting in his pickup truck. They needed gas, she said. I went back inside, pointed to them, and gave a bill to the proprietor, went back outside and told her the exact amount he would let her pump, not much, but enough to get them further down the freeway. Just did not want to hand cash to her boyfriend, and drove off wishing her luck in my mind.

Have spent so much time indoors these past few years I’d forgotten all about these incidents. Your heart was in the right place — I’m sorry the guy was a jerk to you.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

6. He wasn't overly aggressive.

OTOH, I'm not frail. He said if I lent more he would give me his address and repay me. Just a strange scene. That has to be one of the better performing Pavillions in L A.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

7. Good for him.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

8. Why?

He doesn't know my circumstances.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

9. He doesn't know until he asks. Why shouldn't he?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

10. If someone gives me a gift I wouldn't ask for a better or more expensive one.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

11. It was a gift? Oh I thought you said he was panhandling, which is definitely work.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

12. I agree panhandling is a form of work and can definitely not be fun.

That being said overly aggressive panhandlers can make it hard on those less aggressive by discouraging people from helping them out.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

15. "Overly aggressive" panhandlers (meaning, someone who asks a question) don't work *on you.*

This person may have found that hitting up for another $5 works enough to make the question worth it.

I'm curious, though. Dude asks a question. You say, "sorry man, that's all I got," and keep it moving. Why bring it here?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

16. Because I'm bored.

I could have posted about the two men I saw in the middle of the street next to two wrecked cars, presumably from an accident with one another, squared up like they were about to fight.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

17. You can do better than punch down when you're bored.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

18. I have searched my conscience and don't believe I was punching down.

First of all the gentleman is anonymous. I gave a stranger five dollars. I would also note that if the responses in this thread aren't anomalous my experience wasn't unique. Not that it's particularly relevant but I have given probably twenty dollars to homeless people in the past week, including five dollars to an older gentleman who was panhandling near the Topanga Canyon exit of the 101. That required me to park my car and walk about 150 yards to give it to him . If I get really bored I'll share the account of a young woman who just randomly asked me for twenty dollars on Lankershim Blvd. near the Orange Line.

[Hekate]

19. "Punch down"?

You can do better than attack fellow DUers for fun. Why didn’t you jump on me for not giving screamy-lady enough for a hotel room?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

20. Because I don't care what you give people when they ask.

I do have a problem with tut-tutting about not getting a desired reaction to a handout.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

21. What is the appropriate reaction to an act of kindness by a stranger?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

27. Why should there be one?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

28. So people know what the reaction to an act of kindness will be?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

29. The point is it might be anything, and expecting a certain response reflects a level of entitlement.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

30. Please treat this question as a heuristic.

What if the response to kind acts by a stranger is a kick in the mouth? Do you think that would be an inducement or deterrent to people committing more of them?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

31. What if it is?

Does the person living rough have an obligation to respond in such a way that their actions won't deter charity-minded people from acting in charity again? Do people perform charitable acts to get a response that will make them perform another charitable act down the line?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

32. Interesting

Does the person living rough have an obligation to respond in such a way that their actions won't deter charity-minded people from acting in charity again?

Yes. If they kick charitable people in the mouth as per my example that would more likely than not deter charitable people from helping people living rough. It would be incredibly selfish.

Do people perform charitable acts to get a response that will make them perform another charitable act down the line?

I suspect they do it because it makes them feel good. If they got kicked in the mouth as per my example that wouldn't feel good.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

33. .

It would be incredibly selfish.

Why treat people living rough as a monolith?

I suspect they do it because it makes them feel good. If they got kicked in the mouth as per my example that wouldn't feel good.

So it's the reaction that makes people who, like you, give without strings feel good, and not the giving itself?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

34. Ayn Rand

So it's the reaction that makes people who, like you, give without strings feel good, and not the giving itself?

That's interesting. Ayn Rand said there was no such thing as altruism, i.e. doing good solely for the sake of doing good as the doer of good only does so because it makes him or her feel good. .

[Vinca]

22. They work in shifts at the entrance to the local grocery store . . . right next to the

multiple "help wanted" signs. I stopped giving them anything after listening to store employees talking amongst themselves about how tired they were from working so many hours since they're short staffed. It's that way everywhere around here. A local warehouse has a sign out front with starting pay during daytime hours at $22 - $35 an hour. You can't start out as CEO of Apple, but the local panhandlers don't appreciate that. I should also mention there is a glut of social services available to them 24/7 in this particular part of a very blue state so there's no need to panhandle.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

24. There are probably things going on in their lives that prevent them from getting steady jobs.

Panhandling doesn't seem like fun. I was more bewildered than upset when the gentleman asked for more. Five bucks is nice. Most folks give a buck or two or nothing.

[XanaDUer2]

23. I offered money to a guy lying outside our CVS

He saw I had a $20 and asked for that.

Sorry, pardner

[DemocratSinceBirth]

25. There's a McDonald's about two blocks from my apartment.

There are usually homeless people around there, not many, and not all the time. I'll buy them something to eat when I see em. I keep coming back to the fact that for whatever reason they're homeless it can't be fun.

[XanaDUer2]

26. You're a good person