Should you tip if you get bad service

[ripcord]

I was eating at a local restaurant and didn't tip because the service was horrible. I know right before closing time people are ready to go home but I still expect decent service. It took this server a long time to even take my order, there were only seven people in the place at three tables. Once she was able to drag herself away from chatting with the other servers she kept rushing me though ordering. She didn't exactly slam the food down on the table but it was close then she walked away as I was asking for more butter. I finally had to walk over to her and ask for butter and got an exasperated sigh as she went to get it, the exact same thing happened when I needed a coffee refill. In my opinion if you want to get good tips, or any tips at all you need to provide at least basic service.

[Glorfindel]

1. No, you shouldn't. What you did was correct.

n/t

[MarineCombatEngineer]

2. Nope, no tip for bad service and I've even called the manager over to file a complaint,

if you pay for a service, you expect good service.

[Baggies]

3. I recall either Dear Abby or Anne Landers saying

I recall either Dear Abby or Anne Landers saying to not depart and not leave anything because the food server will just think you forgot to leave a tip. They suggested leaving a penny.

[Jarqui]

11. I remember that

And years ago tried that.

But not tipping is rare for me. Way less than once per year.

I have had family members in retail or service industry.
It is not always easy for them either.
The service has to be extremely bad - hurting or ruining the meal or rude.
Great service gets a great tip.
Poor service gets a below average tip.

[Baggies]

13. Agree

And I know that person might be having a bad day, so it’s hard for me to not tip anyway.

I do the same thing driving. Someone cuts you off on the road or makes a mistake, and I could get mad, but I don’t. Maybe their parent, spouse, or child just recently died. Maybe they had an argument and aren’t focused. Chances are they shouldn’t be driving in that state, but we’ve all had to drive before when there’s no other choice.

Sounds like this server was just fooling around at work and not doing their job. That holds less sympathy from me.

[genxlib]

21. That reminds me of an old friend of the family

She was pissed at her college and refused to donate.

But instead of just ignoring them, she would send a check for nine cents.

She called it the "not-one-thin-dime" treatment.

I suspect it sent a much larger message than just sending nothing.

[RobinA]

54. When I Was

pissed at my grad school and they came trolling for money I told them very politely why I was not giving money. I figured if I didn't tell them they'd never know. I doubt it changed anything, but I gave it a shot.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

4. There have been times that happened to us.

Last edited Tue Aug 2, 2022, 05:38 PM - Edit history (1)

We spoke to the Manager on duty first. Left a 10% tip at the most.

Right to Work states treat workers the worst because I know how little they make. But still, bad service cannot be rewarded with generous tips.

[jonstl08]

6. Agree

[jonstl08]

5. Disagree

Probably in the minority here but I think you should tip something regardless of the service because those tips are usually shared with the cooks, busboys and etc. Not their fault the waiter/waitress were horrible. Plus they sometimes make under $3 per hour and rely on tips. Tip a little and then complain to management about the service.

[Demsrule86]

16. I agree completely with you. Wait staff is paid sub-minimum and it is heartless not to tip them.

[inthewind21]

29. You are not

alone. Fed minimum wage for wait staff is $2.13 an hour. California is the exception at $15.00 an hour and Alaska is second at just over $10.00, most other states hover somewhere between 2.13 and 5.00 with a hand full of states at a little more. Waiting tables is the worst job on the planet. The restaurant is covered with their pricing. The wait staff is dependent on the customer for the bulk of their pay. Too many are lousy tippers if they tip at all. So when I got out to eat, I go in with the full knowledge that I may get a server who has been there all day and has 20 bucks in tips to show for it. I want service too. But I also understand it's a shitty job with wages that are never reliable.

[MurrayDelph]

32. I once went with friends

to a mid-level restaurant in the Fremont area, where the waiter decided after looking us over that we weren't going to be good tippers, so he mostly ignored us during the meal. When we wanted more bread, we had to flag down the busboy. When we wanted more water, or a sofa refill, we flagged down the busboy. When the waiter showed up again, with the cheque, he sneered at my corporate Amex. When we left, the waiter got nothing from us; the busboy we tipped well. And we stopped off to tell the manager they need to switch their assignments.

[jonstl08]

35. Agree

I went to dinner many years ago with my cousin and his family of 4 at a small family restaurant. My meal was about $20 with a couple of beers. My cousin's bill was well over $100. Service was great. I tipped $10 because of the great food and service. My cousin only tipped $4. I asked him why. He said he only tips $1 per person in his party. I was shocked by this. He said they make enough from other patrons. After they left I apologized to the waitress and told her I will be back in a few minutes. Went to the ATM and withdrew $20 and gave it to her. Every time I went to that place I received great service. Never went out to dinner with him again.

My cousin went back there and then complained to me about the bad service. Told him it was because you are a horrible tipper.

[Caliman73]

36. That would be my tack as well. Tip, because it is part of their pay.

If service is that bad, then a discussion with the manager should be had.

[Skittles]

39. I generally overtip

30% or so.......but with poor service I would leave 15% but probably skip the complaint, because everyone has bad days....who knows what is going on in their lives....I've been fortunate in that most of the restaurant workers I've encountered have been great

[TheBlackAdder]

7. Well, the minimum 10%, however, it depends on how often you frequent that establishment.

.

Did you show up right before closing, when everyone is in clean-up mode?

Just asking, because some people will show up 5 minutes before closing and camp out for an hour.


Note: If you up and leave nothing, you might might be remembered next time.

.

[Sympthsical]

8. I always tip, because I care about workers

Unless I've somehow gotten into a shouting match with the server, there's always a tip.

Why? Because maybe they're having a bad day. I have no idea. And if my order's wrong or things take a bit, it's not the end of my entire world and OMG WHY AREN"T MY NEEDS BEING MET RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE WILL ANSWER FOR THIS!!!!1!11

Because, you know, I'm normalsauce.

Their income is dependent on those tips thanks to America's shitty wage laws. I know going in that whatever I order actually costs 20% more than what the menu says.

There is this psychology in America that I'm not fond of. "Fellate me, peasant, or I shall hold my gold above you."

Pass on that one from me. Some people take the "serve" in service to shitty degrees.

Unless there's a fistfight. Then no tip. Unless they win. Then I'd be too afraid not to.

[jonstl08]

37. I always tip

I start out at 20% and depending on service and quality of food I either go up or down but never below 10%.

[Sympthsical]

46. I don't like the idea of being punitive

It's just not in my nature to pass judgement on what is a small snatch of time in someone else's life. I never know what they're dealing with.

I will over-tip though if someone goes above and beyond to a notable degree. There was one time at a restaurant, I have no idea what was going on - I think someone in the kitchen was in the middle of quitting. The waitress was stressed to holy hell, you could tell. Diners at other tables were getting real shitty with her when it was clearly not her fault. She was the spirit of patience. Anything she could do, she did. Plus, she had this sardonic sense of humor about the whole situation that had me in quiet stitches.

Anyway, we left 60% IIRC, to make up for the fact that we just knew she was about to get shafted by others for a situation not of her design. If it salvaged some part of what was for her a shitty work day, good. It wasn't some crazy bill either. The bill was like $40 or so at the time.

[Bettie]

55. I do too

most waitstaff work for far below minimum wage.

Everyone has a bad day.

[Turbineguy]

9. We had a strange bad service experience.

We were at a restaurant and had ordered, drinks came, but somehow the food took a crazy long time to arrive. In the meantime, we had a great discussion and really enjoyed our time. In the end the manager insisted that our meal was free. I told her there really was no problem and we expected to pay when we came in. We paid for the drinks and left a fat tip.

[EmeraldCoaster]

10. Yes always Tip

Bad service can have many causes outside of the servers control. Situational awareness is a skill all customers should possess. Don't be a dick and order food right before closing time. Some people have family at home, personal plans etc... Sorry Ripcord. I worked in food service for 10 years.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

12. I always tip. I never know what someone's going through.

[MLAA]

14. I recently had the opposite experience.

The server was so darn good at her job that she managed total efficiency with total pleasantness. So I left a noticeably good tip and commented on good she was at her job and thanked her.

I’m with the majority it seems, I’d leave a small tip (10percent ish not a penny).

[Demsrule86]

15. I absolutely disagree with your post. Waiters make sub-minimum wage money and often it is the

Kitchens fault...I always tip no matter what. I tip more for good service.

[Silent3]

34. The OP contained clear examples of things that were the server's fault

Didn't you read the whole thing?

[lpbk2713]

17. I have but I thought twice about it later.

But I have never spoken to a manager about bad service. It's a crappy
job to begin with so I don't want to put anyone's income in danger.

[Ms. Toad]

27. Not tipping puts someone's income in danger.

Federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13/hour.

When you don't tip, you are potentially forcing them to work for sub-minimum wage.

I always tip - I am not going to be party to retroactively cutting someone's wages for the time they spend with me. For very bad service, I will complain to the manager. Someone who is doing a lousy job should find another job they can/are willing to do to at least minimum standards.

[ruet]

18. Always Tip.

12% if sub-par service
15% for standard service
15%+ for great service

[pinkstarburst]

19. Right before closing

I know right before closing time people are ready to go home but I still expect decent service.

You say this happened right before closing. How close to closing did you actually show up? An hour? 30 minutes? 15? Was there enough time to sit down and eat a full meal before the restaurant closed?

What if your server had a child at home with a babysitter and needed to get home? In that case it is not helpful if a customer shows up 10 minutes before closing when the restaurant is only truly open for the last few people finishing up their meals, signing their bills and leaving, and that one clueless person expects to sit down and start ordering when the staff are trying to close down for the night.

[tazkcmo]

47. It's her job.

It was my job for many years. Yes, it sucked getting a late table but it sucked even more not getting one because it was how I paid my rent.

Many people become servers that do not possess the skill set required to be a successful server. This young lady is one of them.

[Chautauquas]

20. I always tip

even if the service isn't very good. Of course the better the service the better tip, but I give something, with one exception where the service was so bad that I decided not to leave a tip.

[Karma13612]

25. You didn't feel this service was "so bad that I decided not to leave a tip." ?? Eom

[Polybius]

22. Right before closing servers and cooks always get pissed if someone comes in

I used to be a server. I'm not saying this is right and that you did the wrong thing, I'm just stating the facts.

With that being said, I'd never leave zero for shitty service. I'd only leave zero if my server cursed me out or something.

[tazkcmo]

44. My advice to people.

Don't eat food cooked by an angry cook.

[48656c6c6f20]

23. Yes.

Waitress
LIVE

Come on baby, leave some change behind
She was a bitch, but I don't care
She brought our food out on time
And wore a funky barrette in her hair

Come on baby, leave some change behind
She was a bitch but good enough
To leave some change
Everybody's good enough for some change

The girl's got family
She needs cash to buy aspirin for her pain
Everybody's good enough for some change
Some fucking change!

Come on baby leave some change behind
She was a bitch, but I don't care
She brought our food out on time
And wore a funky barrette in her hair

Come on baby, leave some change behind
She was a bitch but good enough
To leave some change
Everybody's good enough for some change

We all get the flu
We all get AIDS
We've got to stick together after all
Everybody's good enough for some change
Some fucking change!

Songwriters: Patrick Dahlheimer, Ed Kowalczyk, Chad Gracey, Chad Taylor.
For non-commercial use only.
Data From: Musixmatch

[Karma13612]

24. For the very specific scenario you described,

I would not leave a tip.

For butter, and coffee refill, the waitress is not waiting on the kitchen to prepare the meal. Further, you indicated that the server was chatting with the other servers instead of taking care of your requests. She was not attentive to your needs at all.

Further, the closing time indicated by the restaurant factors in the length of time a potential diner will spend following when they present to the establishment for a meal. If you had lingered for far longer that acceptable to have your meal, then yea, the server would have a reason to be pushing you out. But, she is expected to continue to serve you based on her shift as well as the open-for-dining time of the establishment.

In my opinion, she was inconsiderate and did not deserve a tip. I’m sorry but I disagree with most all the rest of the comments.

Lastly, if you were concerned about not giving the busboy and hosts their share of a potentially shared tip scheme, then you might want to ask to speak to the manager and make sure they are aware of why you are not leaving a tip. This server needs to understand her behavior is not acceptable. Tell the manager that you are leaving a tip for the rest of the crew, but that your server should not get anything.

Otherwise, no one learns from this bad situation.

[Ms. Toad]

26. Did I stumble onto the wrong website by accident?

I can't believe the number of people here endorsing the idea of not tipping.

No employee should have to be dependent on the whim of the businesses' patrons. Period. Prices in customarily tipped services should reflect what it takes to pay a living wage to those employees, so that if a customer chooses to tip it increases their wages above mimimum wage.

Unfortunately, that is not how our system works. Federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13/hour - 29% of the federal minimum wage for all other workers. Because you didn't tip, that waitress may have made only $2.13 for the hour she spent serving you. If you perform your work poorly, it would be illegal for your employer to dock your pay to what they believe it would be worth. Their option is to fire you - not retroactively dock your pay. Because of our screwed up system, patrons at a restaurant essentially become employers of the wait staff. While it isn't illegal not to tip, in my opinion, unless you know that the restaruant staff pays AT LEAST state or federal minimum wage for all workers, it is immoral not to tip.

The proper way to handle this is to tip, and then complain to the manager about the service. That way you aren't forcing someone to work for less than minimum wage - AND - the employer has the tools to fire the waitress (which is waht happens for non-tipped employees.

For the record - I hate tipping, and will stop doing it, as a rule, as soon as the law changes so that my distaste for tipping doesn't force someone to work for less than minimum wages. Until then, I tip at least 15%, and most of the time 25%.

[Hellbound Hellhound]

28. I'm in the "Mr. Pink" category.

It's not my job to subsidize random-assed people's income, that's on the business and the government. I make little enough as it is, I can't afford to go paying other peoples' wages based on a system that originated as a disdainful dig at those deemed "Lesser" than them.

Vote in people who can change minimum wage laws and tipping laws, and you'll see servers elevated out of poverty. Anything less is pure classist "Holier-Than-Thou" classist bullshit where "Lesser" humans have to rely on the scraps the highly privileged feel fit to dole out to them. As it stands, I'm already one of the "Lesser", working a job that pays $8 an hour, relying almost exclusively on tips to make a living. I can't economically afford to support anyone but myself.

That said, above-and-beyond service will always get a 50% tip from me. Likewise, shitty service gets a big fat goose egg. It's not my problem that your baby-daddy left or that you've got twelve kids or that you're just having a plain bad day, you show up to work, leave your problems at the door and do your job.

[Ms. Toad]

33. Then don't go out to eat.

I agree entirely with your assessment of the system design - and it needs to be changed.

But ask yourself who is hurt by your refusal to pay a fair price for your food? Remember, a fair food price includes paying a fair price for all of the work that goes into getting it to the plate in front of you - and that includes the wait staff. Prices should reflect the cost of paying everyone, including the wait staff, a fair wage. By buying food in a restaurant, you are automatically paying everyone else in the chain (no matter how poorly they performed) at least minimum wage. You have no way of knowing whether anyone else in the chain did a crappy job getting the food to your table. The only person you are stiffing is the wait staff - the last in the chain, and the only one who is not entitled to be paid anything close to a living wage.

Frankly, if you can afford to tip 50% for above-and-beyond service, you can afford to spread that money around to ensure you are always paying a fair price for your food. If not - don't go out to eat (or go to non-tipped places)

[tazkcmo]

42. As you said, that's not how are system works

The server knows it, didn't care and gave shitty service. Luckily, she wasn't fired so she can try again on her next shift.

Every server knows their hourly rate and that tips fluctuate even with good service BEFORE they accept the serving position. There are plenty of non-tip positions available on food service for them to accept. They go into it with eyes wide open.

Servers serve because the good ones make good money. Guess what the bad ones make?

[Ms. Toad]

48. The point is the lack of legal protection for tipped employees.

In no other profession (as an employee) can you "choose" to accept less than minimum wage. Fair Labor Standards makes it illegal to allow someone to "choose" to work for $2.13/hour. Except for tipped employees.

In my opinion, it is immoral to take advantage of that flaw in the law to pay someone less than the minimum wage every other employee in this country is entitled to by refusing to tip.

Bad service should be grounds for termination (as it is in every other job) - not for paying them less than the minimum to which employees are entitled by law for the hours they have already worked.

[Elessar Zappa]

30. Unless they're very rude, I always tip.

[GoodRaisin]

31. Not her. She was mad at you for coming in near her quitting time.

I’ve tipped when the service problem isn’t on the server, but this sounds like it’s all on her.

[Silent3]

40. I'm pretty forgiving, but if bad service comes with clearly bad attitude...

...and/or extreme levels of disregard, I would go (and have gone) as far as leaving no tip (or, as someone pointed out as an even clearer message of displeasure, a very small tip -- something that can't be confused with you merely forgetting to tip).

I don't, as someone else suggested about some people's attitude toward wait staff, expect them to "fellate" me. But I don't think I should be expected to be so forgiving as to leave a normal-sized tip when someone has been overtly rude or inconsiderate.

Since I could probably count the number of times I've left no tip in my life on one hand (maybe two, if my memory is failing me), and since I eat out a few times a week typically (neither my wife nor I are big fans of cooking), I don't think I'm being excessively judgmental about this.

[tazkcmo]

38. 25 years in food service.

No. Do not tip for poor service. Also, do not blame the server for for poor kitchen performance. You did the right thing.

[Hugin]

41. My heuristic is if the server seems to be doing their best...

And the difficulty is elsewhere I still give a full tip and a wink.

The next level is to bring up the matter with the server, they have an opportunity to explain or correct. This might lead to a reduced percentage or a commiseration depending on the situation.

This doesn’t seem like the issue you were having.

[The Revolution]

43. If it is very bad, no.

If the service is extremely bad or non-existent, then leaving a low tip or no tip is acceptable. However, you shouldn't penalize the server for things that are outside their control, honest mistakes, things like that. Also remember if it is a place you plan on going back to, you might just want to leave a standard tip anyway. People DO do things like spit in the food if they think you are a bad tipper. Unfortunately.

I would like to see the whole tipping system abolished personally. Its all very arbitrary. Plus it is rooted in slavery and continues to be a source of discrimination. For example, Black restaurant servers were tipped less than others in retaliation for enforcing social distancing, report says

“We already knew customers tipped Black people less than White people before the pandemic, but then to be punished more than other workers for trying to enforce these rules makes this an issue of life and death,” Jayaraman said. “The very divided nature of the nation is taking a toll on service workers having to serve the people who are the least likely to want to follow public health protocols. And the people bearing the highest brunt are, as always, Black workers.”

[egduj]

49. I'd probably still leave something.

Nothing insulting, but also nothing that would make the server say "I hope that customer comes to my table again..."

[hunter]

50. Geez. Don't take it as an opportunity not to tip, but as an opportunity to make a scene!

Getting your own butter and silverware, or making your own coffee can be accomplished with high drama. Act like you own the place. Make sure the person in charge notices.

My family tends to be oppressively helpful. We've all worked in restaurants at some point in our lives. If the misbehaving waiter has a conscience, and knows they've been slacking, a 20% tip will burn them worse than a few pennies will. People don't tip for all sorts of reasons, but mostly it's because they're mean. There's no lessons to be learned from mean people. Fuck 'em, whatever.

Your opinion, as expressed by no tip or a low tip, is meaningless.

As an autistic spectrum person who wants to be mostly invisible, going out to dinner with my large gregarious family can be a traumatizing experience, especially when the service is poor. Social boundaries come down. I've seen my brother, who is a fantastic cook, both at home and commercially, cheerfully talk his way into kitchens just to see what's causing delays. My father-in-law will start chatting with staff in Spanish in front of managers whose Spanish may be minimal at best. Etc.. My mom will get her own coffee like she's in her own house. Going out to eat with my family is always an adventure.

90% of the time the problem is understaffing. That probably accounts for the lack of service you got as well. Some employers are hiring anyone who walks in the door, including many clueless people who don't know what it means to work. That's not something anyone learns by watching television and doing the bare minimum required in school.

[AngryOldDem]

51. We once tipped the table busser, not the waiter.

When we didn’t order alcohol, our waiter pretty much snubbed us. All the service came from the bus boy. So we personally gave him the tip and left nothing on the table. The kid walked away stunned. We told him he earned it.

If the service was truly, unquivocally shitty, no. I’m not tipping. But it has to be very bad service for me not to leave anything.

[Act_of_Reparation]

52. I always tip.

In no other sector is normative to prorate payment based on customer satisfaction. The tipping system is absurd as it is abusive.

[Raine]

53. I agree with you

she didn't say even do the job she was paid by the restaurant to do. Then she had a surly attitude, she certainly didn't deserve anything extra.

[LuckyCharms]

56. I normally tip 30% to 40% for reasonably good service.

At least I did tip that amount when I used to go out to eat before the pandemic.

If the service was bad, I would tip 10% to 15%.

Servers make shit money if no tips are received. Not even minimum wage in my state. I can't think of a time where the service was so horrible that I would not at least leave some kind of tip. If it ever did get to that point, I would probably talk to the server privately, and ask them to do better next time, because their service was awful. But I would not go to the manager, for fear of costing someone their job.

Maybe they were having a bad day or something. Maybe their dog just died. Who knows.

[Mosby]

57. I would tip 5% at most.

Regardless what people are saying on this thread, the customer is nor responsible for the wages paid by their employer.