This is a riot: From Freepwadville: Romney's Mona Lisa Smile

[cali]

The Italians have words for it; the meaning of that famous smile. The tight lips with the ‘giocondo’ smirk of self-amusement. The ‘sfumato’ smile of blurry ambiguity leaving all to the imagination.

But there was little left to the imagination in the Mona Lisa smile of Mitt Romney. It was everywhere in that final debate; that tight smile and warm eyes. The face that never wavered. It was a constant reflection into his opponent’s rage. It softly deflected the opposing aspirant’s mean eyes darting the fiery embers of spent dark coal. The gentle face absorbed the blasts full of mendaciousness with unusual calm. What was in that smile? Was it beguilement, bemusement, beneficence, bewilderment, or was it a simple knowing that passeth the understanding of the desperation and despair of a cowardly Cloward- ideologue’s last days?

That smile. The smile of a father more knowing than his wayward son. A smile of strength with the confidence of experience behind it. Never haughty; just all knowing. A smile that knew his opponent better than The One did himself. The tight lips and glistening eyes conveyed more than just resolve and assurance. A kindness showed through. And compassion. A face of a man that has seen and hit every bump in the road only to persevere and become the better for it with the help and care he gave along the way.

It was a cheek never turned. The high Chero-cheek bones and jutting jaw of gentle defiance. A visage that could weather withering fusillades of fury. The cheek bones were resolute but had the effect of drawing out the extended pursed lips. High cheeks, not etched Clint-clenched, but enough to make his day against any antagonist apparent to millions that watched.

Yet that smile and glint of the eye revealed even deeper truths. It exposed the wrinkles of equanimity and inner peace. A soul well searched and ready for its final calling. A deep set smile catapulting a man with a higher cause and purpose. For all the vicissitudes sent his way, the smears, the slanders - all were swept away by that one smile. The smile that let the nation know that goodness doesn’t always come in last. A smile as wide as it was lingering many days after. A trusted smile that will find its way into a presidential portrait for the ages. Maybe even into the Louvre.




http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2954339/posts

[sufrommich]

1. Gah,I was just reading that and thinking about how

perceptions are influenced by our beliefs. Romney has a fake,mean smile to me. Of course, they can't have a thread without some hateful gay bashing:

Ugh, so gay!

And the other smile so obviously evil. People have to be steeped in it to miss the disdain and hatred in that face.



8 posted on Saturday, November 03, 2012 1:32:01 PM by stanne

[Xyzse]

116. That... Made me feel like blowing my brains out

Seriously, that was worse than Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Heroine Bella when she first started describing Edward.

I have to wonder who wrote that and if they were tapping their inner pre-pubescent girl.

[nolabear]

2. Holy crap that's BEAUTIFUL! Wonder what Romney had to pay to get it posted.

Those are the words of a freeper in love. Poor bastard.

[cali]

6. you know what it reminds me of?

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is a tongue-in-cheek contest that takes place annually and is sponsored by the English Department of San Jose State University in San Jose, California. Entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels" – that is, deliberately bad. According to the official rules, the prize for winning the contest is "a pittance",[1] or $250.[2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer%E2%80%93Lytton_Fiction_Contest

The writing is that florid and that bad. Gotta love it.

[BlueState]

29. And this sentence may be a candidate for the contest

"The gentle face absorbed the blasts full of mendaciousness with unusual calm"

Blast full of mendaciousness!! Where does that come from?

[cali]

32. I can aswer that: The dull but overwrought mind of a freep.

[sufrommich]

34. I have to go with the paragragh dedicated to

the Romney jaw:

"The high Chero-cheek bones and jutting jaw of gentle defiance.... The cheek bones were resolute but had the effect of drawing out the extended pursed lips. High cheeks, not etched Clint-clenched, but enough to make his day against any antagonist apparent to millions that watched."




What is a "chero cheek"?

[myrna minx]

55. It's creepy "erotic" fan-fiction.

That fantasy actually made me laugh out loud.

[magical thyme]

69. omg that's funny....

for a moment there I thought I fell into a historical romance novel. Or a hysterical romance novel. Or something like that!

[Fawke Em]

84. Chero is a high-class caste in India.

So, yeah. Romney is a rich elite, so I guess his cheeks are too. LOL.

[nolabear]

41. Bingo! I wonder if they take write-ins!

Purplest prose I've seen in ages. I might post it to FB to see what responses I get.

[pamela]

44. It was a dark and stormy night...

and Mitt smiled knowing that he would be safe and warm in one of his sixteen houses while millions of "victims" went to bed cold and hungry unwilling to pull themselves up by the bootstraps as he himself had done if you can count being the rich son of a governor and parlaying your millions into billions through vulture capitalism as pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.

[cali]

47. not nearly purple enough.

but I like it.

[Hekate]

72. That's it! the Bullwer-Lytton Contest!

Cali, you are right on target. If that purple prose isn't an entry already, it should be.

It's hard to when your jaw just hit the floor.

Seriously, I currently have a sore rib, and reading that thing hurt me!

Hekate

[cali]

73. Sorry about the sore rib, Hekate.

I'm seriously considered sending it to to the folks at the B-L contest- with proper attribution, of course.

I'm still laughing. I love, love, love that piece. It's so utterly atrocious that it's sublime.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

98. That was exactly what I started to think after the first couple of sentences.

Except that the Bulwer-Lytton contestants have to try to write that badly; this person seems to have a natural gift for it. It's even better (worse) than when Rich Lowry rhapsodized over Sarah Palin with this: "By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America."

I wish Leonard Pinth-Garnell were still around...

"Stunningly bad!"
"Monumentally ill-advised!"
"Perfectly awful!"
"Couldn't be worse!"
"Exquisitely awful!"
"Astonishingly ill-chosen!"
"Really bit the big one!"
"Unrelentingly bad!"
"Rally socks!"
"There... That wasn't so good now, was it?"

[Mz Pip]

114. Fifty Shades of Mitwit

Only thing missing is the multiple orgasms.

[dchill]

3. "Never haughty; just all knowing."

Or, as we say, "Sanctimonious."

[Lex]

4. The creepy smile of a man with no convictions. nt

[patricia92243]

5. I thought it was the smile of an insane ax murderer.

[DemocratsForProgress]

7. Fifty shades of

being "severely conservative"

[cali]

11. More like 50 shades of wonderfully atrocious writing

I can't stop laughing over the writing.

[warrior1]

8. do they mean this smile?

[Judi Lynn]

89. That's the one! Thanks for the reminder. n/t

[Care Acutely]

103. Is that from the debate?

I remember seeing it after the debate, but I don't remember anyone confirming if it was taken during the debate.

Either way . . . . .. .. . . . . gross.

[Tess49]

9. Okay. I'm fighting a stomach virus. This post did not help.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

10. Seems A Bit Homoerotic...Seems A Bit Dear Leaderish...

Not that there's anything wrong with the former.

[cali]

14. seems a lot Bulwer-Lytton to me

It would make a great entry. I wonder if they have a non-fiction category- though I think it could be entered as fiction.

[Raine1967]

12. Romney is like the Mona Lisa

In that no one really knows WTF she's thinking.

[Wounded Bear]

45. But, I think we know WTF HE's thinking....

Oh yes, I think we do.

[aletier_v]

50. "please, not the butt plug again!"

[Wounded Bear]

92. Well, I wouldn't have gone there....

but there is that.

[SweetieD]

13. I think its more of a smirk...like con artists make when they can't believe others

are falling for the con.

[Flashmann]

15. What a pantload

Of pure delusional SHIT!!!....This bit of lunacy,surely,is from another dimension.......

[Brickbat]

16. That's some serious trolling. It reminds me of Peggy Noonan's obsession with Reagan's foot.

I first saw him as a foot, a highly polished brown cordovan wagging merrily on a hassock. I spied it through the door. It was a beautiful foot, sleek, perfectly shaped. Such casual elegance and clean lines! But not a big foot, not formidable, maybe even a little . . . frail. I imagined cradling it in my arms, protecting it from un-smooth roads.

http://www.nytimes.com/1989/10/15/magazine/confessions-of-a-white-house-speechwriter.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

[sufrommich]

19. Wow. That's just chock full of weirdness. nt

[cali]

20. I'm going to puke I'm laughing so hard.

That's fucking hysterical- and it deserves its own thread.

[grasswire]

22. yes, it is VERY Noonan.

I can't think of anyone but Noonan who could write this sap.

[Arugula Latte]

35. Good gawd...

[TwilightGardener]

67. How is she still employed...by anyone?

[Politicub]

91. Omg Batshit crazy

[nobodyspecial]

104. I thought of Noonan as well

She gets so caught up in her own words that it doesn't matter if they have any basis in reality.

[gkhouston]

105. Well, damn. Now I'm gonna need the brain bleach again. n/t

[grasswire]

17. oh I just came to post this!

What a classic! Even George W. didn't get this kind of puke-fest adoration.

[alcibiades_mystery]

18. Red States, Purple Prose

I think our FRiend is in lerv.

[Tsiyu]

21. "Maybe even into the Loo" is more like it

Love the "withering fusillades of fury." That is so gonna be my next band name.


LMAO here and FFS, I'm trying to write here!


I'm going to have to go read some Amis or something because that tortured Harlequin Romance prose up there has totally messed up my head...

[cali]

37. How about "wrinkles of equanimity"

for your next band name?

[Tsiyu]

38. Another winner lol

If only Obama had those Chero-cheek bones, he might WIN!

[cali]

39. I really love "fiery embers of spent dark coal"

because spent dark coal is all about fiery embers.

[Tsiyu]

46. you just know this poor soul

spent hours with a thesaurus ( and an Italian dictionary )

"Hmm, let's see: beguilement, bemusement, beneficence, bewilderment.

Oh WHICH one shall I use?

Aw, hell, I'll just throw em all in there!"



And I want one of those durned catapulting smiles, by golly!

[cali]

52. oh fuck. now you've got me started all over again.

can't. stop. laughing.

You are so spot on.

[Tsiyu]

59. I think we all needed a good laugh

after this crazy week.

Thanks for sharing your new literary discovery -


DU will never be the same

[monmouth]

82. OMG, laughing so hard here I can hardly type..."withering fusillades of fury."..Too much..n/t

[renate]

23. I'd love to see what they wrote about the Son of Sam or Ted Bundy

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read... to be topped only by what they'll write on November 7.

[Mariana]

24. LOL, even some of the Freeks think it's nutty...

Excuse me while I find my insulin. Nothing against Romney, but I think he smiles like someone watching a sliver being removed...

9 posted on Saturday, November 03, 2012 1:53:20 PM by stormer

[aletier_v]

25. Just this summer FR hated Mitt and banned supporters

now he is the Mona Lisa.

[sufrommich]

27. They did the same with Dubya during the primaries for his

first term. JimRob called him a cocaine sniffing frat boy.

[aletier_v]

30. it is the depth of desperation

it must be something like the Stockholm Syndrome
where you come to love and adore your abusive crazy candidate

[cui bono]

42. Because they're playing a team sport, not trying to find someone to govern well. n/t

[HappyMe]

26. Holy crap!

I'm laughing so hard, I'm dizzy.

It sounds like the narrated conclusion of a Lifetime movie!

[cali]

28. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I can't stop laughing. I keep re-reading it. the thing is a fucking goldmine. it's perfection in its way.

[HappyMe]

31. Thanks for posting.

I'm going to bookmark! It's priceless!

[formercia]

33. Perhaps Mitt's smile is the result of a vibrating Butt-plug.

Just a gentle reminder to smile.

[aletier_v]

36. remote controlled?

[formercia]

74. They have each other's remote

I wonder if they know Morse Code.

Junior had his Induction Earpiece and Mitt has a Buzzer.

[renate]

83. I cannot possibly express how much I enjoyed that

Gah! Edited to say "how much I enjoyed your title"! I should be more careful about using the word "enjoy" in response to a comment about a butt-plug...

[formercia]

122. ...perhaps in a public forum...

What you do in the privacy of your own Mind, is your business.

[cui bono]

40. Clearly the author doesn't know the definition of smile.

Because that was no smile in the last debate.

[tblue37]

43. It HAS to be Poe's Law in action! Fess up now--

which one of you posted that?

[RomneyLies]

48. HOLY CRAP!

They're getting worse than they were over Bush!

[gateley]

49. Frustrated Romance novelist.

[Barack_America]

88. What? No heaving bosoms or aching loins?

I was disappointed.

Was the poster perhaps describing a smile she/he had seen before?

[gateley]

90. Haha!

[LittlestStar]

112. LOL!!!!

[NBachers]

51. "And as Mr. Dreamboat and I held hands and walked down the sun-dappled, leaf-strewn path

to our secret woodland rendezvous . . ."

[TwilightGardener]

53. Freeper man-crush!

That was painful to read.

[cali]

54. How do we know that it was penned by a man?

And I thought it was delightful to read. As funny as anything I've seen in ages.

[nolabear]

56. I can't say why but I think it was. But a smart one. Maybe it was a troll.

I agree that I loved reading it. SO over the top. I love that kind of drama in teeny, tiny doses, then I have to go get a Cormac McCarthy chaser or something. LOL!

[TwilightGardener]

57. Men are in the vast majority over there--statistically, it's the most likely.

Plus, the imagery and descriptions just give off a masculine vibe--the whole wise-older-man/foolish-young-man thing, for example.

[backscatter712]

58. I thought it was the Dolores Umbridge smile!

Pretty appropriate for a person running on the Death Eater ticket...

[TlalocW]

60. Wow... A little education can be a dangerous thing

It continues...

And above that nuanced, enigmatic smile, the perfect lip cleft, that seems to perfectly define the word (and thus itself), "philtrum." One could imagine that Romney's lip to nose groove is what one would find if the savior, Jesus Christ, himself would shave his mustache in one of the more famous paintings representing God's only son. It's a cleft that knows its own power but doesn't need to broadcast it in a grotesque display like that of the president's much inferior nasal-labial indentation. By remaining humble about its power, it is all the more awe-striking when viewed.

Now moving to the left nostril...

TlalocW

[cali]

61. stop. you're killing me.

[sufrommich]

63. lol !. nt

[Tsiyu]

70. ....

[reusrename]

101. I'm in pain here.

ROFL

I've got muscle spasms in my back. You're killing me here.

[Mothdust]

62. he's more like Darren Stevens from Bewitched

Always in a quagmire, and hiding that his wife is a witch !

[Quantess]

64. "jutting jaw of gentle defiance"

I actually nearly did just ruin my keyboard. Watch out if you are eating / drinking by your computer.

[kstewart33]

65. Maybe I missed something.

I thought it was an expression that he practiced for weeks before the debates. At least that's what I read at The Wash. Post.

Next, I suppose is a fawning analysis of his perennial use of hair dye and tanning makeup. Now that's authentic masculinity.

[cali]

66. Nah, I don't think you missed much. it's just funny as hell.

[nolabear]

79. That's wat my husband said. He's been through intensive "Don't smirk" training.

I saw his rat running in the wheel going "Dont smirk don't smirk don't smirk..."

[Tom Ripley]

68. Someone has been attending the Peggy Noonan Writing Workshop

[ncgrits]

71. The smile of a man who just let loose a shart in his magic underwear. Nt

[madmom]

75. Sounds like a bodice riper "romance" novel....LOL

[madmom]

76. 50 shades (stances) of Romney!

[backscatter712]

78. Now imagine it being read by Gilbert Gottfried!

[Squinch]

106. Ok, that got me!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

77. Romney reminds me of a grinning mortician trying to close a sale on an embalming

The oily obligatory smile to try to show humanity to the grieving family coupled with cold unfeeling eyes that look on the cadaver as just another stiff among hundreds.

[PatSeg]

80. I recognized that smile early on

It is the plastic smile people put on when they are trying to control their emotions - don't let them see what you're really feeling. Also I think the guy has a temper that he is always suppressing. I'll bet he's practiced that "perma-smile" in front of the mirror. It is often accompanied with those strange sad eyes, that look like he's going to break down and cry any minute.

You rarely see anything genuine about this man and when you do, it isn't very positive.

[Shankapotomus]

81. I've seen better prose

in an Ayn Rand novel. Eck.

[Buns_of_Fire]

85. At least the passage stopped short of describing Romney ripping his own bodice,

exposing his firm, pulsating pectorals sitting upon his perfectly-sculpted abdomenable muscles like the bust of a conservative Adonis gently perched upon a mound of cheesy grits.

Something like that.

[aletier_v]

86. Gender Guesser says a man wrote this!

http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php#Analyze

Genre: Informal
Female = 283
Male = 751
Difference = 468; 72.63%
Verdict: MALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 347
Male = 591
Difference = 244; 63%
Verdict: MALE

[Xyzse]

117. That is a pretty awesome site.

I will have to use that at some point.

Thank you.

[jmowreader]

87. It is the smile of a man strapped to Huntsville's death bed

When Goodhair Perry, like Dubya before him, casts a man into the maw of the great Texas killin' machine, he is injected with three chemicals. The second one relaxes all your muscles and stops your breathing. Its effect on your face is to create the most serene smile imaginable. The mind is certainly racing; you can't breathe, there's nothing you can do about it and no one will come to help you.

Romney's problem is similar: his campaign is strapped to a gurney in a blue state with capital punishment. You could see it at the third debate, when Romney repeatedly agreed with the president. He knew then only one man on that stage was qualified to be president, and it wasn't him. You can see it in his response to Sandy: Mitt could have bought a truckload of canned soup, hired a trucker to pull it and sent it to Jersey and with his riches it wouldn't have made a dent in his household finances. Instead, he holds a food drive suitable for stocking the pantry at the little church he was lay leader at.(Yes, I know the real name of what he did; there's something very wrong with one of America's richest cults bestowing fancy titles on its ministers in lieu of pay.)

That's my explanation for Mitt's smile...it's not the serene smile of the Mona Lisa, but the involuntary smile of a condemned killer who knows he's already dead.

[H2O Man]

93. I am convinced

that either Barack or Michelle Obama wrote this.

[sabrina 1]

94. I think that's meant to be funny.

For all the vicissitudes sent his way, the smears, the slanders - all were swept away by that one smile. The smile that let the nation know that goodness doesn’t always come in last. A smile as wide as it was lingering many days after. A trusted smile that will find its way into a presidential portrait for the ages. Maybe even into the Louvre.

So when he loses on Tuesday are we supposed to take it that Romney, having come in last, is not 'goodness'? Lol!

And I love this:

A smile as wide as it was lingering many days after.

I thought that wide smiles that 'linger' for days were something to worry about. The picture that conjures up!

[sarcasmo]

95. I almost threw up my dinner.

[LibertyLover]

96. Those people are so farking delusional!

Romney doesn't smile - he smirks. And the mother in me wants to slap it off his farking face.

[distantearlywarning]

97. Wow. Somebody's got a serious crush.

I hope if I ever get to such a mental state where I write that sort of drivel about any political figure (from any party) that someone takes me out back and puts me out of my misery before I humiliate myself further.

[Kurovski]

99. "Resolute" cheek bones?

So then they ARE removable. Just as I suspected.

That art appreciation course at the learning center certainly payed large dividends, and of course, white men thinking of black men as a child, or "son" is a classic in itself.

I agree that this is a Noonan-style knockoff. The real thing would be much more frightening. Kudos to the merry prankster! (What self-respecting Republican would wish to hang a presidential portrait in a FRENCH museum?)

[Oilwellian]

100. This has to be from a troll

It's just too brilliant to be Freeper material. Someone's fucking with their teeny, tiny heads.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

109. Next that same troll will be gushing over Chris Christie's lithe athletic form as a man of action

and of Rick Perry's superior intellectual attributes.

[Raine]

102. "Smile"? I thought that odd look was because he was having a gas attack and trying not to fart. nt

[Liberal_in_LA]

107. LOL

[Squinch]

108. "Was it beguilement, bemusement, beneficence, bewilderment

or was it a simple knowing that passeth the understanding of the desperation and despair of a cowardly Cloward- ideologue’s last days?"

Well, no, it was just that his magic panties were all bunched up.

But those cowardly Clowards are nice in a soup.

[cherish44]

110. What the fuck? What the fuck

What the fucking fucking fuck?

[Blue_In_AK]

111. This has to be a troll.

Nobody could write like that in seriousness.

[LittlestStar]

113. Mitt the Twit has a mean, shitty little smirk. He does not smile.

What kind of idiot could even hallucinate that piece????/

[Beartracks]

115. Oh, it was "Mona Lisa"??? I thought it was this...

=================

[Rose Siding]

118. "A visage that could weather withering fusillades of fury."

The candidate captured to his fucking fiber.

Oh that's some good stuff.

[cherish44]

119. Whoever wrote that obviously has some descriptive prose writing skills and knows some big words

So odds are it's NOT by a Freeper. Laughed my ass off though; great satire to whoever wrote it

[cali]

124. they do not. It's some of the worst writing I've ever seen.

[demwing]

120. "A face of a man that has seen and hit every bump in the road"

is the face of an idiot.

I generally avoid the bumps I see, or at least I try. The concept of seeing those bumps, and hitting them regardless strikes me as rash, careless, and pretty fucking stupid.

Just one of the many reasons to not vote for Mitt Wrongney

[lonestarnot]

121. What a terrible thing to have to make yourself swallow and try to like it.

[JI7]

123. far worse than Rick Lowry's Palin and Starbursts thing

[JI7]

125. is that the look he will have tomorrow night ?