I felt unsupported and controlled at home where my world was kept small and frugal. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian denomination that over time I found less than Christian. I learned some interesting things about myself in grade school - By playing "7-up" in grade school, I learned I wasn't one of the popular personalities nor a good liar. Networking did not work because I never saw the technique in operation, was overly responsible, and chose marriage for love instead of advanced education at the time. Those with more college education were not interested in sharing introductions. I lived in an integrated neighborhood. It wasn't until my 2nd child went to school that I had the funds to go to community college debt free, but I vowed to enrich their lives as much as possible. They were in a swim club, played instruments, participated in band and Winter-guard, had a car to drive, and learned to be great independent young women with good grades from good colleges and lots of friends. Only one set of grandparents ever supported and took pleasure in my daughters' activities, DH's. My family...SMH. Boundary issues galore! One day I felt down during yet another episode of DH's unemployment. I called "home" LD for support, having considered the D word, and Mom said she never wanted to speak to me again...so that was it. Her motto was "no news is good news" and she informed me that when I married, they had literally given me away, so I was DH's problem now. DH has been a good father. I'm lucky to have a very nice roof, a rental now, over my head and the other basics of life. My sister's child was born with health problems that required sacrifice; I was the outcast and wasn't allowed back into the fold. My brother became the family caretaker and NEVER left home. In the end, I was disinherited in favor of my bi-racial niece's future needs or in punishment for my obedience to Mom's wishes over that quarter of a century. My brother ended up in Hospice across the hall from Mom, she passed and DB passed a few months later. He was pitched into a grave one day. I know where, but not when. Dear Sister said it was "quick." DH has to work going on 75--I refuse to make others richer in my retirement at 71--I'm not privileged at all and now feel "odd." People of all kinds moved on and up - not us. What happened to our lives?
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