Rough Summer Ending with Loss
I teach at an alternative high school, and this summer began with one of my students being the victim of a shooting. She didn't even make it to the hospital. I was the only one at the school who mom knew, so I was the one who the family called. I immediately notified the administration, so we could support the family as much as we can. We do things like visit their home to pay our respects, send them flowers, take them food, attend memorial services, and reach out to community resources on their behalf. It's never easy for us either, and we're always referred to our EAP line. She only had one more quarter to go to graduate.
Then my 86 year old landlord, who's a friendly man everybody knows, had COVID-19 in June. He was in the hospital a few days, and that's when they found the arteries in his heart were blocked. They put stints in 2 of them, but had to build his strength before they could address the 3rd. At the start of July, his heart stopped. While they were able to revive him, he spent 21 days in ICU before being moved to a rehab facility. We're now dealingi with his daughter and son-in-law. He has everything in an LLC, and, as he put it, had "grandfathered in" the duplex I share with a neighbor who's become a friend. Still, the uncertainty has been unsettling.
In mid-July, I was in a car accident. I was the 4th and final car hit in an intersection accident. I was in a left turn lane behind another car. After the light turned green, an elderly woman coming the other way, ran the red light and t-boned the sedan in the intersection which spun and hit the car in front of me which was pushed into my front end. I immediately picked up my phone and called 911. I knew people weren't going to walk away. Both women in the initial collision were taken away by ambulance. In the meantime, my insurance company has been hideous! I got more information from the tow yard! After a month, it's now established that my 2006 Honda CRV will have its bumper repaired and radiator replaced, and I'm seeing a chiropractor. When all of this is said and done, I'll be changing insurance companies.
Just when I thought I would peacefully transition back into my job at the start of August, another tragedy hit. My ex-husband died suddenly. We don't have the final autopsy results yet, but based on his health history, it's most likely a heart attack. He was 61. I can still hear our kid's sobbing over the phone as she could barely get the words out, "It's Dad. Dad's dead." Saying he was my ex doesn't cover our relationship. I met him 40 years ago when I was 18 years old. We married within a year, had a child together 4 years later. We eventually grew in different directions and went our separate ways 16 years later. We maintained joint custody and lived only 3 blocks apart to make things as easy as possible for our kid. We committed to never turning her into a battle field, co-parented well together, and remained friends. Over these past 24 years, we emailed and talk on the phone every few months. The last time I called to wish him a happy birthday back in June. We spoke for two hours.
My kid and I flew from where each of us live to the small town he lived in. We had a small memorial service and started cleaning out his place. The biggest thing was that I helped walk her through the initial legal matters and will be handling his bills. She'll return in 10 days with friends to finish cleaning out his apartment. His cat is currently with a local friend of his, but will be moving in with our kid and her cat. We're both just starting the grieving process. I'm already planning to spend the holidays with my kid. He's being cremated, and his ashes are being sent to me. I live in Colorado, a state he truly loved. We know he would rather be here, and will look into our options for something to do together to honor him next summer.
These are just the big things that have happened. The little ones include my kitchen window breaking (cause unknown), the sound going out on my tv, and my vacuum cleaner dying. I don't know what the hell has been in air, but I am exhausted! I am so done with this summer!!!
= new reply since forum marked as read
I live in Boulder County, CO. Please let me know if there's anything I can do from this end.
I am so sorry …. that is definitely a rough summer.
You’ve had the Summer from Hell for sure! Hugs to you! 
You came to the right place to get some love and support. DU is amazing in that way. You’re being strong for your kids and that’s really great! They need you and your taking care of all the issues. And because of that things are going to get better for all of you.
It’s really tough to lose love ones, especially when they’re family. It sounds like you lost a great friend. Having lost my family members I can attest to the importance of allowing yourself to go through the grieving process.
I am so glad you shared - sometimes just telling everything helps lighten the load.