So what would TFG's Special Mistress actually do?

[PurgedVoter]

Apart from drink a lot of beer and water while taking a diuretic, what would her duties be or do I not want to know?

[Pantagruel]

1. Mushroom maintenance ?

[louis-t]

2. Tell him he's a good boy. And all the other kids are mean to him.

Tell him how special he is, and he doesn't have to follow the rules.

[Botany]

3. I take it you haven't heard of "the Belgium elevator?"

A Special Mistress can help you with that.

You need 2 fresh buttermilk waffles, warm maple syrup, whipped butter, a head light, a stop watch,
a whistle, a tennis racket, and a cassette recording of "You Light Up My Life."

[sarcasmo]

4. Paddle with a Forbes magazine.

[brush]

5. Special MASTER. Special MASTER.