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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBorowitz: Putin Says He Is Losing War in Ukraine Because F.B.I. Seized Stuff He Needed
Source: The New Yorker
Putin Says He Is Losing War in Ukraine Because F.B.I. Seized Stuff He Needed
By Andy Borowitz
September 9, 2022
MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)Amid reports that the Russian front has collapsed near Kharkiv, Vladimir Putin complained that the only reason he is losing the war in Ukraine is that the F.B.I. recently seized stuff he needed.
Im not going to go into detail, but there were things I needed, very important things, that the F.B.I. has confiscated that should have been sent to me, the Russian President said. If I had those things right now, I wouldnt be getting my ass kicked all over Kharkiv.
The fact that materials intended for him are in the hands of the F.B.I. has made him question whether America is really a democracy, he said.
I think if you pay for somethingand I mean pay in cashit should be sent to you, he said. Hopefully the special master will straighten all this out.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/putin-says-he-is-losing-war-in-ukraine-because-fbi-seized-stuff-he-needed
Wounded Bear
(58,670 posts)ColinC
(8,301 posts)🤔🧐
Kid Berwyn
(14,913 posts)True, that fiction.
CatWoman
(79,302 posts)damn this is funny!!!!
spanone
(135,846 posts)Response to Eugene (Original post)
Name removed Message auto-removed
GP6971
(31,170 posts)I guess.
MarineCombatEngineer
(12,416 posts)enjoy your stay, however long or short it might be.
Could you be any more obvious?
sarisataka
(18,672 posts)And farewell in advance
MarineCombatEngineer
(12,416 posts)I was on the Jury for that one, it was pretty obvious that it was a repuke troll.
MIRT taking out the garbage.