TFG Demands Special Master Be Fired and Replaced with Extra-Special Master

[zuul]

Satire from The Borowitz Report

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-demands-special-master-be-fired-and-replaced-with-extra-special-master

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Infuriated by Judge Raymond Dearie’s requests for information in the Mar-a-Lago documents case, Donald J. Trump has demanded that the special master be fired and replaced with what he called “an extra-special master.”

“This Dearie, he’s a beauty, he really is,” Trump told reporters. “He’s asking for information. He’s asking for information like you wouldn’t believe. He’s a bad or sick guy.”

Pressed to explain what he meant by an “extra-special master,” Trump said, “We need somebody in there, somebody who’s more special than this Dearie joker. If Dearie is special, then I don’t know what special is.”

Claiming that Dearie is “rigged against me,” Trump said, “After that guy is fired and goes back to Antifa or wherever he came from, we’ve got to find out what idiot chose him in the first place. This should never be allowed to happen in our country.”

[treestar]

1. He has TFG speech patterns down

[blue neen]

2. Honest to God, this could really happen.

I can't wait to watch Seth Meyers tonight. He does a great Trump imitation.

[icymist]

3. LOL! K & R

[malaise]

4. Bwaaaaaah

[Chainfire]

6. Today's joke is tomorrow's breaking news.

[MontanaMama]

13. This.

You just it’s going to happen.

[elleng]

7. 'goes back to Antifa or wherever he came from' BROOKLYN!!!

and omg born in town where I grew up!!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Dearie

[EnergizedLib]

8. The problem with the trump era

Is that things you think are satire really aren’t. I *thought* this was satire when I clicked on the link, but it was hardly definitive.

[rambler_american]

20. Satire is dead

It died of exhaustion trying to keep ahead of reality.

[kentuck]

9. Trumps lives that close to absurdity.

And tries to make it sound "normal".

[Eugene]

10. It's Borowitz, but it's going to happen, only with a different label.

Watch TFG call Dearie a Deep State operative.

[MOMFUDSKI]

11. It is only satire

for the moment.

[Mme. Defarge]

12. Why not

a Special Mistress?

[niyad]

15. The first answer that popped in my brain NSFW!!

[Jade Fox]

19. Hasn't Trump already had quite a few of those?

[niyad]

14. I had to check the link. Sounds just like voldemort 2.0.

[OMGWTF]

16. OMG! I thought this was real because I can 100% see Traitor Tot saying this.

[OhioTim]

17. What

Trump is the idiot that wanted the judge

[calimary]

18. Andy Borowitz!!!

[Quanto Magnus]

21. extra special master

then it will be

super extra special master...
uber super extra special master...
mega uber super extra special master...
'enter next bigly adjective' mega uber super extra special master...

[mackdaddy]

22. You can never tell if these are real headlines or not with Trump, until

you see Borowitz in the link.