Marco Rubio in disaster mode

[mia]

From the desk of Marco Rubio


I just want to start off by saying - I'm awfully sorry.

I hate dropping into your inbox, but I'm humbly asking you to read this all the way through. If you get to the end and still think your $13 doesn't matter and can alter the election, then I hope you're fine with socialist policies ruining our country.

Day after day, I've been falling behind on my goals. This is a disaster since Chuck Schumer just funneled $1 MILLION to my opponent and reports are saying I'm in the fight of my life. I can't stress this enough, but my race WILL decide whether or not Republicans take back control of our country. That means we have two options:

1. Let a former Trump Impeachment Manager continue to outraise us and outspend us on TV until she wins Florida and the Senate.

2. We can start working like a team to stop the Democrats from running our country into the ground.

I know you get a lot of these messages, but these are REAL goals and REAL deadlines we need to meet. I'm humbly asking you to chip in $13 to meet this critical deadline and join the team that gets America back on track.

STAND WITH MARCO

Do I need to remind you that two new polls showed us TIED? My opponent is gaining momentum and I desperately need your support.

RESTORE THE AMERICAN DREAM >>


Please, I'm pleading with you. Don't look back and wish you did more.

– Marco Rubio

[MontanaMama]

1. Jeez.

That’s pathetic. I hope Val Demmings rolls over him big time.

[2naSalit]

8. No shit!

What a whiny-assed toad.

If he had any self awareness at all, he'd be ashamed.

[MontanaMama]

12. "whiny-assed toad"

Most excellent.

[dchill]

19. A "whiny-assed toad" - with dry mouth!

[KS Toronado]

31. A "whiny-assed toad" - with dry mouth!

Sitting in a dry Florida lake bed because Global Warming is a hoax according to him.

[olegramps]

40. Isn't this of typical of most politicians? They will do anything to stay on the gov. tit.

Every vote they cast is predicated on how it will affect my reelection chances. It is not how it affects the average citizen. They could in far too many instances give a damn about the welfare of the country.

[Amishman]

2. Val is so very close to busting this race into a dead heat

Several recent polls have her just outside the margin of error.

betting markets and pundits like 538 haven't bought in yet, but I think this one is going to roar the last few weeks - especially if the Pubs botch their Ian response.

[dchill]

20. Marco is botching it right now - asking for money!

[MagickMuffin]

3. Please please donate to my campaign, those big ol socialists are gonna win if you don't

Please please pretty please I’m down on my knees.


Go Val may you continue to pick up steam and steamroll all over Rubio.

[BradAllison]

4. He sends out the same "I am in trouble!!!" messages Democrats do

I have received similar warnings from Mark Kelly and Maggie Hassan that they are going to be defeated.

He is grifting.

[jcgoldie]

5. crying and begging doesn't seem like a very good fundraising strategy

C'mon Marco have a little self respect!

[GreenWave]

6. Fake Cuban refugee gets his comeuppance.

Grifting. His race decides America. How ridiculous. The Senate is lost to the GQP and his race only decides the margin of defeat, which could be +12 or more for the Blue in the Senate.
Then give statehood to DC, PR,, VI and I forgot the Pacific Island group. Then expand Supreme Court to 13 to equal the districts.

His family came over way before Castro was in power. But he grifted on that too.

Open your thirsty mouth Marco. He comes Ian to fill it.

[bucolic_frolic]

7. Rubio MoneyChanger 101

[Ocelot II]

9. Same ol' fundraising stuff.

I get the same kind of emails from Democratic candidates - predicting disaster if I don't send them money. Standard template.

[Pinback]

26. +$50

or $100 or $250 ... would you like to make that a recurring donation? Or do you just not care about Democracy all that much?

[snowybirdie]

10. Haven't heard

him utter a word about the storm heading for his state, but fundraising must go on!

[Farmer-Rick]

11. He lost me at

socialist policies ruining our country. But he's fine with Nazi policies.

And you know that 13 is a racists' symbol. "The number 13 is a numeric symbol for the Aryan Circle, the large Texas-based racist prison gang. Substituting letters for numbers, 1 and 3 equals A and C, i.e., AC or Aryan Circle." https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/13

Nazis, we beat the shit out of during WWII, would be proud. They and Rubio are enemies of our democratic country.

[Midnight Writer]

23. He'll send you the Special Patron Badge for $88, which includes an autographed picture.

[mia]

24. Was wondering why the $13 plea.

Thanks for the info. He's even worse than I thought.

[Emile]

13. Typical right-wing cry baby.

[The Blue Flower]

14. If only he had a record to run on...

Nowhere does he justify holding that seat. Just whiny crap.

[niyad]

15. I wish I could do more, marco, but. . .you know. . .

[niyad]

16. This is The Onion, yes???? PLEASE tell me that this is The Onion.

[Blue Owl]

17. Here's a glass of water, Marco

[Walleye]

18. Poor Little Marco, scared of the big bad police chief, a black woman. Be very afraid asshole.

[peppertree]

29. Little Narco

When he loses, he can always get a groundskeeping job at the Alice Wainwright Park.

He knows it like the back of his hand.

[Ladythatvotesblue]

21. Val Demmings

Rocks!

[catbyte]

22. "There's a potentially catastropic hurricane making a beeline for Florida, but

it's more important to send me money. After all, you can do with a little less plywood, gas, and emergency supplies."

Love, Little Marco

Jackass.

[NNadir]

25. + a few hundred.

[PatSeg]

27. Wow, that DOES sound desperate

I love when republicans whine. It rarely motivates people to open their pocketbooks. I know I hate fundraising emails like that even when they come from Democrats that I like.

"Please, I'm pleading with you. Don't look back and wish you did more."

Oh Marco, Marco, you really need to hire better fundraising staff. That is just pathetic.

[SergeStorms]

28. I guess I'll have to look back....

and wish I could have done less than nothing, Marco.

[calimary]

30. Um ... shouldn't you be raising money to help hurricane victims in your state, Marco?

[UTUSN]

32. K&R - bwah-HAH!

[rubbersole]

33. $13? WTF? Ask for $20 like the Sham-wow guy.

He's at least believable and gives you something for your money.

[OMGWTF]

34. You are way past your expiration date Lil' Marco. Fk off!!

[DFW]

35. All campaigns send this kind of crap, including Democratic campaigns, unfortunately

My email box is overflowing with "Mark Kelly is going down because you didn't pledge you house, your car, your inheritance and your first-born to his campaign, send cash now!"

Except no, he isn't. It's one of the more offensive methods of saying please contribute to our campaign." I get this kind of thing from Rubio's opponent, Val Demings ("Val Demings here," except no, it isn't). I have contributed thousands to the Demings campaign, and I find this kind of thing offensive to the max. Sure, those who have sent money, and know to click this crap away, do so. But there must be SOME people who react to this kind of "appeal," because otherwise I wouldn't keep getting them.

But Rubio is getting some serious cash infusion from dark money Republican sources. Val Demings might defeat him yet, and I certainly have donated what I could spare to ensure that, but no one is crying in the street because their campaign bank account is dry, and we shouldn't pretend that our own candidate has a free ride into office because of it.

Having said that, of course, I did put out this little item expressing my view on little Napoléon (ABBA fans will love this):

[judesedit]

36. I think I'll donate my $13 to Val Demmings

Marco just inspired me

[bahboo]

37. THAT...is a great idea....

[ShazzieB]

38. I was just going go say this reminds me that I need to send Val Demings some money.

I think I'll make it at least 2 × $13, though. Just for good measure!

[Half-step]

39. Hey Rubio, people don't care about your feelings

They care about a platform. Heck, I'd send five bucks if you just could tell me yours. Until then, all I have for you is "thoughts and prayers."