Borowitz FTW

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/biden-releases-marijuana-offenders-from-prison-to-make-room-for-trump-administration

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Biden announced that he was pardoning all people convicted under federal law of marijuana possession in order to make prison cells available for members of the Trump Administration.

Announcing the decision from the Oval Office, Biden said, “At present, thousands of Americans are in prison for the possession of marijuana. Those thousands of prison cells are badly needed to accommodate the influx of Trump aides, associates, and family members.”

Biden said that vacating the existing prison cells would save the American taxpayer billions “since the only alternative was to construct approximately forty thousand new cells that the incoming Trump prisoners would require.”

Calling the decision to pardon the marijuana users “one of the easiest [he’s] ever made,” Biden said, “What’s worse, lighting up a spliff or stealing the nuclear codes? Come on, man.”
Just minutes after Biden’s announcement, the former Trump attorney Rudolph Giuliani held a press conference at the Four Seasons Head Shop in Bethesda, Maryland.

“I am holding in my hand a sworn affidavit from Donald J. Trump, indicating that, throughout the entire time he was President, he was high,” Giuliani said.

[SheltieLover]

1. Wahahaha!

[Blue Owl]

2. Make room for the REAL criminals

[LetMyPeopleVote]

3. I love good satire

Link to tweet

[niyad]

4. Exactly.

[Maeve]

5. I needed that laugh! Thanks!! eom

[Cha]

6. HOPE Springs Eternal!!

[SergeStorms]

7. "The Four Seasons Head Shop".

Yep, or in Rudy's case, The Four Seasons Liquor Emporium.

[dalton99a]

8. Kick

[Brainfodder]

9. Spectacular!

'nuff said!

[KS Toronado]

10. Better let all the rapists, murderers, & bank robbers go also

tRump's clan headed to prison has some staggering numbers attached to it.
Don't want them out on bail or house arrest.

[calimary]

11. Love this "Biden quote"!

“What’s worse, lighting up a spliff or stealing the nuclear codes? Come on, man.”

Shit - I can almost hear him saying that very thing, for real!

[rubbersole]

16. "You don't fuck with a Biden" - POTUS

[Faux pas]

12. Kickety Kickin'

[Kid Berwyn]

13. It makes sense.

We need the cells.

[Hekate]

14. Brilliant

[Wild blueberry]

15. May it be so

Thank you.

[keithbvadu2]

17. Is Donnie Trump Jr applying for a coke/meth pardon?

Is Donnie Trump Jr applying for a coke/meth pardon?

[raccoon]

18. Great article. Nt

[uponit7771]

19. K&R,

[Ligyron]

20. How he thinks this stuff up all the time ...

Man's a National Treasure.

[NJCher]

21. OMD!

I’m a New Yorker subscriber and hadn’t seen that yet! Guess I’d better get my lazy self out of bed, get a coffee, and head to my patio for a good laugh.

[Alice Kramden]

22. LOLOLOLLOL LOLOLOLLOL

Spit take!

[burrowowl]

23. Love it!