Herschel Walker Claims He Is Honorary Power Ranger

[Rhiannon12866]

ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Hurling an October surprise into his race for the United States Senate, Herschel Walker has revealed that he is an honorary Power Ranger.

In remarks to reporters at a campaign stop in Atlanta, Walker said that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers designated him an honorary member sometime in the nineteen-nineties.

“They made me an honorary red Power Ranger,” he said. “They gave me the red costume, and the Power Sword and the Tyrannosaurus Power Coin.”

Offering further details of his superpowers, Walker said, “I can control the Tyrannosaurus Dinozord. Raphael Warnock can’t say that.”

Walker revealed that his status as an honorary Power Ranger was the real reason that he did not participate in the most recent candidates’ debate. “They wouldn’t let me wear my costume, because they claimed it was a ‘prop,’ ” he said, adding that he intends to wear it later this month when he goes trick-or-treating.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/herschel-walker-claims-he-is-honorary-power-ranger

[SheltieLover]

1. Where do they find these people?

[Just A Box Of Rain]

2. You do realize that The Borowitz Report is satire, right?

[SheltieLover]

3. I know lol

But ghe real life guy is just crazy.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

6. Just wanted to be sure. LOL

In Walker's case it is especially hard to seperate satire from reality.

[SheltieLover]

7. No kidding!

That seems to generally be thd case with magas.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

8. Last night my wife--who works with children with special needs and is very busy,

is not following this race, and knows nothing about Herschel Walker and his football career--saw him speaking on the news and immediately concluded that he had brain damage.

And not in a snarky way.

[SheltieLover]

9. Seems like Kanye to me

Maybe psychotic?

Freak.

I'll never understand Black people aligning with GOP anymore than Hispanics voting for pukes.

[ShazzieB]

14. No expert here, but I think Walker is probably brain damaged.

He was a football player, and scientists have been learning a lot in the last few years about chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), its effects. and how common it is in football players. This article is a couple of years old, but it's very informative: https://engineering.wustl.edu/news/2020/What-a-lifetime-of-playing-football-can-do-to-the-human-brain.html

West's ramblings frequently sound delusional to me, but Walker sounds more like his thought process is just jumbled up. He often sounds confused, like he knows some of the pieces of what he's talking about, but he can't quite put them together. West just sounds like he's on another planet a lot the time, in my admittedly non-expert opinion.

[wnylib]

15. Not the first time that Republicans have used

people with cognitive damage for political purposes.

Ronald Reagan. George W. Bush.

[SheltieLover]

19. That makes sense, ShazzieB!

Thx for sharing. I didn't realize he was a football player. Traumatic brain injuries are awful.

[DemocraticPatriot]

10. I thought it was real, too..... LMAO

for a second

[GopherGal]

20. My actual reasoning to click on this thread:

"That's gotta be Borowitz. But it's Herschel Walker. He's *just* delusional enough... Better click and make sure it's not true."

[Rebl2]

16. Yes we know

But then walker is cartoonish. Isn’t that what power rangers are-cartoon characters.

[sheshe2]

4. ...

Borowitz

[delisen]

5. Well Trump was inducted into the Saudi Glowing Orb Society. nt

[niyad]

11. I had to check the link.

[louis-t]

12. Borowitz kills me!

[lpbk2713]

13. Not only that ...

but he has an honest to goodness Ovaltine decoder ring.

[Jilly_in_VA]

17. Is he

an honorary Ninja Turtle too?

[Rhiannon12866]

18. I wouldn't be surprised if he claimed that next...

[Ilsa]

21. And, he's an honorary member of the Fellowship of the Ring.

He'll claim to have fought a balrog.