Disappointed Trick-Or-Treater Was Really Hoping To Get At Least One Pack Of Fentanyl

[FSogol]

KANSAS CITY, MO—Scouring the bag of candy before throwing it across the room in defeat, disappointed trick-or-treater Olivia Vercetti, 8, told reporters Monday that she was really hoping to get at least one pack of fentanyl this Halloween. “Aw, man, everybody was supposed to be giving out rainbow fentanyl this year, and I didn’t even get a single pill,” said Vercetti, adding that she even examined her haul of candy for any packages that were open or looked tampered with just in case the colorful opioids were hidden inside, but she still came up empty. “I was expecting my neighborhood to be flooded with rainbow fentanyl to get kids addicted, and instead I get a box of Whoppers? I can’t OD on that!

https://www.theonion.com/disappointed-trick-or-treater-was-really-hoping-to-get-1849654379

[LetMyPeopleVote]

1. Why would a drug dealer give away his merchandise ?

This GOP talking point never made sense to me

[EYESORE 9001]

2. The first one's always free, yunno

These wily dealers have a business plan: move into neighborhoods that have lots of trick-or-treaters, distribute candy laced with fentanyl, repeat until kids are hooked, then start charging street price one Halloween when they least suspect it.



RW claptrap seldom stands up to even the barest-of-bones scrutiny.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

9. Killing your customer base is a great business plan

[Blue Owl]

3. Suck it MTG

[Lochloosa]

4. Back in the day, it was LSD....and I never got my free dose.

[ret5hd]

5. And I never got my free flashbacks!!!

I figure the government owes me at least a few dozen trips.

[Lochloosa]

8. They owe me more than that..

[stopdiggin]

6. Yup. struck out here too.

them drug dealers are a bunch of cheap assed bastards!

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[dembotoz]

7. advent calendars...next they will say they are in advent calendars

so only buy the ones with only bible verses from your church

[BlueIdaho]

10. We need to rub the M$M's nose in this mess

The right wing fear machine can go to hell.