Chuck Grassley Facing Toughest Election Challenge Since Reconstruction

[Zorro]

DES MOINES, IA—With polls showing him just three points ahead of Democratic challenger Mike Franken, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) appeared to be facing his toughest reelection bid since Reconstruction, top political observers confirmed Monday.

“Not since his tight race against Greenback Party candidate Thaddeus Obadiah Deadmore in 1874 has Grassley faced such stiff competition to retain his seat,” said Iowa-based pollster J. Ann Selzer, explaining how the 37-term senator was forced to moderate his stance on returning to the gold standard in order to defeat Deadmore, who firmly opposed bullion-based currency and the resumption of specie payments.

“In 1910, Grassley’s 14-hour filibuster against the Mann Act, which outlawed the trafficking of prostitutes, cost him dearly at the polls, but he remained Iowa’s senior senator. And this year, as long as voters look past his historic ties to railroad tycoons, he should be able to eke out a win.”

At press time, Grassley’s campaign was reportedly in crisis mode after the senator’s youthful comments praising King George III came to light.

https://www.theonion.com/chuck-grassley-facing-toughest-election-challenge-since-1849716033

[Lovie777]

1. LOL . . .

[Samrob]

2. It shouldn't even be a contest at this point. He should be gone! nt

[FBaggins]

6. He will be gone soon enough

Unfortunately - it will be soon after the new term starts and Governor Reynolds can pick his replacement.

[ZZenith]

3. "Thaddeus Obadiah Deadmore"

Bet they spent a minute working up that name.

[Iggo]

12. "Obadiah" is always funny.

[ZZenith]

13. It really is.

As is “Zebediah.” Future generations will probably find “Steven” and “Robert” hilariously archaic.

[CatWoman]

24. I love it

[progressoid]

4. I wish this was satire.

[maxsolomon]

5. Amazing what a steady diet of children's blood will do.

Oh, wait, that's Dems...

!

[newdayneeded]

7. or prohibition. lol

[scarletlib]

8. First elected to Congress during Reconstruction. Time to retire.

[NNadir]

9. Just what I need today, the Onion. Thanks!

[DFW]

10. A friend in Iowa told me his staff was trying to hide him more and more

He is apparently starting to have what is politely called "senior moments." In plain English, what they mean is signs of dementia. Since that doesn't play well during a Senate election, especially when the guy has been around since the signing of the Magna Carta, they have been trying to make sure he gets the Carl Hayden award during his next term. I once briefly worked on the Senate floor while Carl Hayden was still a Senator. It was the summer of 1967. He may have been a Democrat, but it was still a pitiful sight to see.

[Iggo]

11. Oh gawd, I needed that!

Thank you!!!

[Evolve Dammit]

14. Dog, he needs to go. Please Dog. My Dog agrees. But then she is amenable to almost anything..

[aeromanKC]

15. I see what they did there. LOL

[ShazzieB]

16. I was very confused just for a moment there...

Then I noticed the link to the source!

[Joinfortmill]

17. Give it up already.

[IronLionZion]

18. Strom Thurmond had received votes from Civil War veterans

back when he was around

[Iggo]

23. "Speak into the machine!"

It’s called a microphone, Senator.

[aggiesal]

19. I'd like to know what part Grassley took in the Jan. 6th insurrection? ...

He told others that he didn't expect Pence to appear and that he would be accepting the Electoral Votes.

Has he been interviewed by the 1/6 Commission? If not, why not?

[Hermit-The-Prog]

20. Grassley's campaign has repeatedly rejected his favorite slogan, "54-40 or fight the pidgins!"

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/9/20/1979115/-What-the-hell-is-Chuck-Grassley-tweeting-about

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/12/grassley-says-non-wealthy-people-would-waste-tax-cuts.html

[Genki Hikari]

21. I'm glad I wasn't drinking or eating anything

When I saw the title of this thread. Anything in my mouth would have been all over my computer screen, otherwise.

[liberalla]

22. Well done, onion! WELL DONE!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

25. here's Chuck Grassley kissing Trump's ass

Link to tweet