Toddler Demands Full Investigation Into Why That Man Has No Hair

[Zorro]

KAYSVILLE, UT—Calling on parental authorities to provide him with answers immediately, local toddler Elijah Schmitz demanded a full investigation Monday into why that man over there had no hair.

“What happened to that man’s head?” said the 2-year-old Schmitz, who was dogged in his pursuit to get to the bottom of whatever was wrong with the bald stranger sitting at the adjacent table, pulling no punches as he interrogated all witnesses at the scene, including the restaurant server.

“That man looks weird. Look, over there. That man right there. Where is all his hair? What happened to it, Mom? I want to touch that weird man’s head.”

At press time, the investigation had reportedly closed after Schmitz’s parents gently explained to their son that God was punishing the man.

https://www.theonion.com/toddler-demands-full-investigation-into-why-that-man-ha-1849797000

Where Republicans come from.

[Chainfire]

1. That reminds me of an old family anecdote.

Back in the 60s there was a man's hair care product called Vitallis. (oil to hold that big hair in place) It was advertised on TV for not being "that greasy kid stuff."

My little brother was about three years old when one day the new, bald, preacher came for a home visit. My little brother circled him a couple of times, and to my mother's shock, asked if the preacher used that greasy kid stuff.

[Aristus]

2. My grandson said something like that back when he was a toddler.

"Grandpa! Look at that man over there! He doesn't have any hair! He just has a head!"