Herschel Walker Quietly Asking Around For D.C. Abortion Clinic Recommendations
WRIGHTSVILLE, GA—In a display of confidence ahead of the Georgia Senate runoff, Republican candidate Herschel Walker has begun quietly asking around about recommendations for Washington, D.C. abortion clinics, sources confirmed Thursday.
“It needs to be close to my office at the Capitol, but not too visible—something with a back entrance, for sure,” said Walker, who noted he was looking for a place that “wouldn’t break the bank,” as he anticipated he might be paying for dozens and dozens of the procedures.
“If they have any discounts for public servants, that would be awesome. I would just hate to get fooled by one of those so-called ‘crisis pregnancy centers’ that look like abortion clinics but are secretly staffed by pro-life crazies. I’m not falling for that again. Abortion is legal in Virginia, right? Or is it Maryland? Where’s D.C. again?”
At press time, Walker had reportedly gotten a couple of great recommendations from Donald Trump.
https://www.theonion.com/herschel-walker-quietly-asking-around-for-d-c-abortion-1849827215
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I'm kidding I see it's the Onion 