More Sweet, Sweet Republican Tears
Sorry for the long backstory, but you really need to know the background on this one to get the full effect of the story. There's a guy who lives in a McMansion that I pass every day on my way to work who is one of the more annoying Right-Winger/Teabaggers around. The thing he loves to do more than anything else is make homemade signs and post them in his yard for passing cars to read. The problem is that he puts SO MANY words on the signs, that no one can read them, which is funny in and of itself. But the other annoying feature he possesses is a penchant for overkill. For example, last year when the local schools had a levy on the ballot, not only did he spearhead the "Vote No" on the school levy efforts, but he posted probably 20 "Vote No" signs in his yard. Every time I drove by, I would say, "You realize that no matter how many signs you post, you still only get ONE vote, right?" And then when the school levy passed, I considered making a giant sign that just said, "Ha ha, Bitch!!!" and posting it in the vacant lot directly across from his street.
Around the first part of this year, Annoying Sign Guy put another unreadable sign in his yard that was nothing more than red words on a white background. The words were like a paragraph long, so they were so small that nobody could read it (unless they were someone like me, who drove by several times, picking up 3-4 words at a time and then eventually piecing it all together). I can't remember right now what the paragraph said, but it was some Anti-Obama screed. Then that sign disappeared for a while and was replaced by yet ANOTHER sign featuring more small words that I had to piece together a little bit at a time. This sign contained the brillaint statement, AND I QUOTE, "No matter how many times you lie, Mr. Obama, it's still not the truth! Vote!" That sign was up for a while and then disappeared for a short time. Then for about 2 weeks during the primaries, the yard featured nothing more than a Rick Santorum sign.
So while this is all going on, the guy has become a running punchline between my wife and I. Then one day I was driving down the road and got behind an SUV that had a sticker on it that said, "Fire Harry Reid and his Democratic Cohorts!" I followed the car for a short time, only to see it pull into the driveway of the house with all the signs in the yard. So apparently he's annoying when he drives too.
For about the last 2 months, Annoying Sign Guy had yet another homemade sign in his yard, this one a monstrosity of a thing, probably 4 feet by 3 feet between two metal poles. It said, "Are your children and grandchildren better off than they were four years ago? If not, you need to vote for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan!" Then, a short time after that sign was posted, Annoying Sign Guy posted the previous two yard signs directly underneath the big sign, so all 3 were displayed at the same time. On Wednesday of last week, I took great delight driving by his house, slowing down, and laughing at pointing (just on the off chance that he might be looking out the window at that split second). I also considered my "Ha ha, Bitch!!!" sign idea again. Then on Thursday, all the signs disappeared. I considered the lack of signage in Annoying Sign Guy's yard a welcome "silence" for once. Until today.
Today, as I was approaching Annoying Sign Guy's property, I noticed what looked like an Obama sign in his yard. As I got closer, I thought it had to be a joke someone was playing on him or something. Then I saw that he had taken a sheet of paper and written the words, "Socialist" and "Communist," on above the other, and used it to cover the top half of the Obama sign. But the thing is, the words weren't each placed OVER Obama's and Biden's names, which may have been at least a little bit clever. Rather, they were printed in the direct center of the sign, one on top of each other, like this:
Socialist
Communist
and then the Obama ( ) Biden part of the sign.
This guy is such a pathetic, sore loser. His tears are the sweetest tears of all. I absolutely LOVE seeing him disappointed. I wonder if he's ever stopped to realize that for as long as he's been putting signs in his yard, EVERY ISSUE he's posted a sign advocating has been defeated. If I were him, I think I'd stop it.
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