Can we rise above the locker room humor: KILL THE COUCH MEME!

[Thunderbeast]

Come on folks. Many of us fell for the Twitter joke concerning Vance and a couch.

IT DID NOT HAPPEN!

If we want politics to be a more honorable and humane endeavor, WE must stop passing along lies too. Our credibility suffers the longer this continues

There is certainly enough fodder to exploit whenever J.D. Vance opens his mouth.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/jd-vance-couch-sex-meme-creator_n_66a94103e4b0a3cd43f77791/amp

[Joe Cool]

1. I agree. Get rid of the couch.

It was a love seat.

[sheshe2]

73. Bwahahahahaha

[FHRRK]

86. Not cool at all!

He is into foreigners - it was an ottoman and then a persian rug.

[brush]

89. Heehee. Good one.

[FHRRK]

95. shagged the carpet!?

[DoBW]

144. that's awesome

[Demsrule86]

248. Awesome!!!! Kick

[edisdead]

122. I heard it was a La-Z-boy!

[magicarpet]

167. ... a fetish cushion,.. with a bottle of lube,.. and a clean up cloth.

Maw-maw, I'm done using the couch. Come sit and relax, put your feet up,.. and do your knitting. Watch out for the gooey wet spots they have yet dried out.

Love, JD.

[dchill]

180. I'm betting it was a sexional.

[Demsrule86]

296. Kicking for visability...

[Demsrule86]

271. Kick for visability...we must help our couch friends.

[Bucky]

288. If JD got "into it" it would've been a hate seat, not a love seat

[DFab420]

2. Nope, time to get with the times or get out of the way. Vance has big couch fucker energy and that's not our fault.

You can tut tut your way into an authoritarian nightmare if you'd like.

[biophile]

12. The campaign can leave it behind

But we should be allowed to have much more fun with it. I don’t mind if the campaign takes a new direction but the ground crew can keep it alive! It’s just too good! 😈

[DFab420]

15. I think the campaign should let Walz be Walz.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

3. .

[TheBlackAdder]

143. I'm waiting for the Katy Perry parody song, "I Kised A Couch And I Liked It"

Or the MUSIQUE parody, "Push Push In The Couch"

[Demsrule86]

164. Or how about 'weird' Al? Weird Al and weird Vance seems reasonable.

[Sky Jewels]

204. More cushion for the pushin'!

[BattleRow]

249. He could double

his pleather!

[FSogol]

4. Concern noted.

PS. No one here fell for it.

[Ocelot II]

5. Everybody knows it didn't happen, but that makes it even funnier

because Vance is so creepy that you can imagine that it could be true.

[TheBlackAdder]

149. He so horny.

[Ocelot II]

150. And there's that dog-eared, sticky IKEA catalog stuffed under his mattress...

[lame54]

6. Not until he addresses the nation...

And says "I did not have sexual relations with that couch."
You know
Like Obama had to regarding his birth certificate

[Blue Cape]

9. The issue isn't truth.

The issue is he is so creepy it is mentally plausible.

[lame54]

115. Neither was Obama's

[newdeal2]

10. *sectional relations

[lame54]

116. Nice

[edisdead]

129. Bravo! Bravo! Chef's Kiss! Just Bra-vo!

[Demsrule86]

168. If in fact if he fucked the couch, he needs to apologize to the couch and the American people.

He needs to go on meet the press...ASAP. This is serial and hugh.

[TexasBushwhacker]

303. Let's not forget Pizzagate

[ecstatic]

7. 🙄

[Baltimike]

8. Nope. nt

[Torchlight]

11. Must be working well.

[BrianTheEVGuy]

13. Nope

If we want to win, we need to leave the "honorable loser" mentality behind forever.

[brush]

14. Nah, not yet. We can still milk some political capital out of it.

Last edited Fri Aug 9, 2024, 06:50 PM - Edit history (1)

[BannonsLiver]

16. Absolutely not.

This kind of softness is why we lose.

“BUT wHAt iF wE hUrT JD VaNcE’s FeElinGs!11” 🙄

[edisdead]

131. It's insensitive to ACTUAL couch fuckers!!!!

It cheapens the plight of the actual davenports that HAVE had their cushions unwantingly fluffed!

[Demsrule86]

154. Think of the young couches...

[Keepthesoulalive]

17. We are not going to let it go

It’s all over the internet and to quote the late Judy Tenuta
“It could happen”

[Happy Hoosier]

18. Many people are saying that he isn't denying it!

Ridicule is a powerful tool, and this is a fight in which we must leverage every possible weapon.

[LuckyCharms]

19. JD VANCE FUCKED A COUCH.

[debm55]

21. It was a love seat.

[LuckyCharms]

25. JD VANCE FUCKED A LOVESEAT.

[LuvLoogie]

63. It was a chairity fuck.

What a guy.

[magicarpet]

302. .... chairity bawl.... and foreplay.....

[MLAA]

77. Both, he's a two-timing FFer

[agingdem]

48. Cloth, leather, or pleather?

[Think. Again.]

57. Apparently it was "pleatherable".

[edisdead]

134. This is the win right here.

Present the gold medal and take your place on the podium.

[Think. Again.]

148. ....

[Lulu KC]

153. thanks for giggle n/t

[MoseShrute]

126. None

It was naugahyde

[agingdem]

140. you win!

but the question remains..couch/sofa/loveseat/divan/chaise/sectional/futon?...

[Rubyshoo]

209. A Veteran Described JD Vance As Vladimir Futon The Other Day

[Demsrule86]

236. That is hillarious...it gives me much pleather.

[debm55]

137. leather. Shady Vance likes the feel of leather.

[Think. Again.]

53. It wasn't "love" it was purely sectional.

[debm55]

138. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Sectional Desires.

[yardwork]

166. Sectional healing.

[oregonjen]

20. Nope. Dems have been way too polite for far too long

Time to punch back!

[Iris]

215. this right here

[newdayneeded]

22. and still ANOTHER

be nice to republicans post!!

[Pinback]

136. They've suffered so much. Can't we just

make them a whole lot MORE miserable??

[magicarpet]

173. Think of it as our version of,...

Show Me the Birth Certificate,....

Again,... and again,... and again,... until everyone is blue in the face.

Give it the old German try. Repeat,... and repeat,... and repeat,... eventually it is bound to be declared true. Far and wide.

[Pinback]

182. If he would just agree to the DNA test we could put this to sofabed.

Some very smart people are saying that the Columbus, Ohio furniture store that sold his old couch on consignment kept one of the cushions. It would be very easy for him to prove the stain doesn’t match his DNA, that is if he doesn’t have anything to hide.

[TwilightZone]

23. Misinformation is OK when it comes from our side.

That seems to be the consensus, anyway.

[DFab420]

29. We all know it's a joke that's the difference. We're making fun, not actually believing the dude fucked a couch

Even though he seems like he's totally the type.

It's not misinformation, it's campaigning.

[Polybius]

172. Not all of us

I have two friends on Facebook who insist that it's true.

[H2O Man]

193. I insist it

is true. I know it's not.

[uponit7771]

250. That's more of a testament to JD than anything, he looks like the type of guy to screw furniture

[Marthe48]

260. And yet,

He isn't a carpenter. Just likes to nail upholstery

[stopdiggin]

50. really isn't much other way to read it

doesn't matter if it's true or not
If I wanna' say it - I'ma gonna say it! So there!

(of course if the Hitler Youth and homophobes intentionally spread proven lies about an Olympic athlete ... that is SO different ... because - 'high road' - or somethin' ... )

[edisdead]

139. Are you realy trying to tie this to hitlers youth?

Geebus we are joking about fucking a couch. Not gassing people who admire furniture. I mean I bought a new armoire earlier this year.

Just kidding I don't know what an armoire is.

[stopdiggin]

196. not really. kind of surprised it was actually taken that way

(by at least one person out there) - - - - - - - - - -

let' maybe try another one ..
I keep repeating the lie that the Clinton's are part of a high level pedophile ring - long after the whole thing has been thoroughly discredited and debunked. Not because I think it is the truth - but because I (personally) think it is hysterically funny - and it really gets other people's goat ... But chiefly and more importantly because, I Want To ! And, nah, nah, nah ,nah ....

Sandyhook was a false flag operation ... Totally staged ...

The question is not whether this has ever happened (or continues to) ...
The question rather, is whether this is OK ?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[edisdead]

269. Once again....

It is a joke about a creepy weirdo fucking a couch.

It is not a propaganda operation about dead children.

Jesus fuck have any of you people been to a comic show?

[stopdiggin]

272. yep. have. and frankly, this sad little internet meme doesn't measure up.

12 yr old humor - and still neatly dodging the question of continuous repetition of an acknowledged falsehood.

[Demsrule86]

297. It is joke and it is hillarious...a little ridicule and humor helps us...

After what Trump and Vance attempted with stolen value, helicopter BS, she is not Black, etc I have no remorse...they had it coming and still do. And of course, there is the ending our democracy thing too...anything that helps destroy those two is OK with me.

[stopdiggin]

300. "anything that helps destroy .."

"had it coming and still do .."
Thank you for providing such excellent example of the rationalization ..
Only thing left out is, "By any means necessary .. "

Couldn't have painted a better picture myself! . - - - - - - - - - - - -

[RandomNumbers]

298. Yeah, joking about "having sectional relations with an item of furniture"

(whichever exact type it was)

is SO equivalent to "joking" about someone running a pedophile ring or having someone killed, or claiming that an actual mass murder was staged for political effect.

Right?



I personally lean toward not spreading either kind of dis-information, but I can recognize the difference in severity between the two, and can readily accept that many can include in the "joke" category, questionable personal, non-criminal* behaviors that don't affect others; while considering false accusations of reprehensible crimes to be a different thing entirely, and completely unacceptable.


( *keeping in mind that the so called freedom lovers of the GQP would like to make LOTS of personal behaviors criminal, which sort of adds to the effect of this particular attack, I suppose)

[ecstatic]

85. As I type, jd is somewhere swiftboating Walz. He's tripling down on calling childless people sociopaths who

have no stake in this country.

With early voting 42 days away in PA, WHY in the HELL is anyone wasting time defending jd?!

[edisdead]

141. Right?!?!?!?!

I think people need to get a grip.

I havbe been called a baby killer my entire adult life for being a democrat. I think Old JD Maybeline can handle the couch fucker moniker for a bit.

[BlueKota]

274. I was called a commie pinko for being a Democrat.

[Hekate]

210. Vance & Trump are already birtherizing Kamala, and are planning to Willie Horton her soon

[Scrivener7]

147. To quote Foghorn Leghorn: "It's a joke, son."

[flying_wahini]

285. Too much pearl clutching around here. People need to relax and quit trying to control the fun.

We have been dealing with these goons since 2016, after all.

[Brainfodder]

24. WOULD THEY?

[Meadowoak]

69. They would NEVER play nice, and neither should we.

[Brainfodder]

72. Correct.

[LearnedHand]

26. It's comedy gold, and we need to go there

Vance is creepy enough it could be true. Moreover, it's high time Dems rediscover their sharpness!

[lpbk2713]

27. If it's a thorn in their side I'm all for it.

I don't give a rat's ass what they think.

I'm fed up with playing "nice".

[Irish_Dem]

28. Hell no.

[Grown2Hate]

30. As soon as I see unequivocal proof that

he has, indeed, NEVER fucked a couch.

[Demsrule86]

171. Yeah...they all deny it you know...won't take resposbility for harming the poor forlorn couch.

[Pinback]

183. Exactly.

See post 182.

[Intractable]

31. JD Vance needs to come on primetime news and explicitly state that he did not have relations with that couch.

Over and over again.

[brush]

102. Yes, and the interviewer, instead of asking "when did you stop beating your wife"...

should ask, "when did you stop fucking the couch...or did you?"

[magicarpet]

266. LBJ would use this as a ploy against his political adversaries.

There is a story in politics, commonly attributed to Lyndon B. Johnson, about how LBJ wanted to circulate a rumor attacking his opponent in a Texas election. Johnson, it's said, wanted to spread the story that his opponent liked to have sex with barnyard animals. One of LBJ's aides said, "We can't prove he's a pig f----r."

"I know that," replied Johnson. "I just want to hear him deny it."

https://www.notaryrotary.com/forums/forums.asp?id=&forumid=1AAA00000008&action=view&posn=prev&firstnbr=67987&lastnbr=67987

[brush]

270. Heehee. I never heard that one. LBJ was a shrewd one.

[we can do it]

32. 😹😹😹😹😹nope

[unblock]

33. when your opponent slings mud and the media help, you CANNOT just constantly play defense.

at some point you have to attack back.

one of the major reasons our ticket is such a kamalanomenon is because we're finally in attack mode.
we're finally hitting back.

sure it would be nice if BOTH sides played nice, but given that donnie is constantly fighting dirty AND the media constantly helps him in that regard, we HAVE to fight back.

and no, our credibility is not affected because we're not insisting it's true. it's just a humorous jab, that's all.

that fact that it isn't true and yet resonates actually helps make it all the more amusing and effective.

[kcr]

34. Trump's going to lose

Time to get used to it.

[SocialDemocrat61]

35. Umm..

[Carlitos Brigante]

44. Whoa there, easy!! That might be considered

pornographic in some circles.

[Itchinjim]

36. No.

[Hekate]

37. He'll never live it down with stand-up comics or cartoonists but that won't suffice

The campaign and their surrogates are fighting back and not just being continuously surprised that the other side is a bunch of fascists who are winning.

[The Third Doctor]

38. No. Ive seen some of the vile things they are

Saying and posting online about Harris so I could care less about their feelings. The attempt to attack Walz service is another factor. The they go low were go hight stuff doesn't work with those cultists. Fire with fire.

[Initech]

39. I'm going with what John Oliver said:

"Unless he says otherwise, I'm just going to assume that JD Vance fucked a couch."

[LexVegas]

40. Fuck that couch fucker. nt

[GaYellowDawg]

41. It's not locker room humor.

I've been in locker rooms many times, and I've never heard conversations about couches.

I'd far rather see a win than a loss with gentility. I would suggest that your priorities are out of order.

I think that we actually gain credibility by punching back. I've heard a lot of times that people won't vote Democratic because they won't vote for punching bags who think they're so high-and-mighty noble that they're "above it all. We need to own these sons of bitches everywhere. High and low.

No one actually thinks that we're in earnest about the couch jokes. However, I think a whole lot of people are really enjoying seeing the bully smacked around a bit.

[agingdem]

42. Absolutely not!!...we're done with "when they go low we go high"...

when they go low we kick them in the nuts, get them on the ground, and step on their necks..fuck "nice"!!!

[LearnedHand]

58. When they go low we go nuclear

I saw that the other day and thought it was high fucking time we did so.

[rsdsharp]

43. Sure. Just as soon as they drop the swift boating,

and then apologize for doing it to Kerry, too.

[Hekate]

186. THIS. THOSE EVIL M'FERS ARE STARTING TO SWIFTBOAT WALZ, LED BY THE GUY WHO DID IT TO KERRY

Ahem. Sorry for screaming.

[Hekate]

212. Add this: They plan to Willie Horton former prosecutor Kamala Harris. Bet on it.

[rsdsharp]

217. They've already said that. I can't see that working.

Prosecutors don’t let prisoners go. That’s up to parole boards and governors.

[Hekate]

219. We are dealing with people who purvey filth & lie with every breath

[Marthe48]

262. Details don matter

To rwnj
Unfortunately

[Stinky The Clown]

45. When THE CAMPAIGN signals it is time to drop, okay. Until then, keep it going.

The campaign is loaded with smart professionals.

[Wednesdays]

201. This is very much like the concern trolls

who ask we drop or change the "weird" moniker.

[Stinky The Clown]

205. Amen

[Nimble_Idea]

46. fuck yo couch! is what JD would say!!

[Think. Again.]

47. Nah, I'm up for anything that puts rightwingers in thier place and makes me laugh, too.

But thanks for your concern about intellectual level of my sense of humor, I'll give that all the consideration it deserves.

[doc03]

49. The couch had a NDA. nt

[Demsrule86]

159. The couch need a lawyer...I am sure there may be sectional abuse involved. Vance needs to pay!

[Doodley]

51. When a man is trying to take away your freedoms, it's time to stop playing nice.

[Lulu KC]

52. I'm kind of over it

I don't think anyone can top Tim Walz saying, "If we can get him to leave the couch." That was enough. (And I loved Kamala's face when he said it.)

[Hekate]

188. That quip was a thing of beauty

[malaise]

54. No n/t

[Skittles]

55. LOL

all shit considered, THIS is what they whine about? FUCK THEM

[NoRethugFriends]

56. thank you for your unwarranted concern

[DarthDem]

59. LOL. No.

It's hilarious and connecting with Gen Z quite impactfully. It's a campaign masterstroke.

[Jirel]

60. Hell to the no.

When they go low, we go for the face.

That means anything, ANYTHING that will annoy them.

[JCMach1]

61. Nothing wrong with using couched language!

How decorate our campaign is our own damn business...

[Nanjeanne]

62. Mind your own damn business! See what I did there. For some it's fun. I trust the campaign to do

what they want. And they have pretty much let it go. If Twitter wants to keep it up so be it.

[Cattledog]

64. JD Vance condom

[Rubyshoo]

216. Aaaaaaa !!! - Flashbacks...

My first girfriends mother used to do that to her furniture.

Creeped me out then...

[Chasing Dreams]

264. Good one!

[MontanaMama]

65. Jimmy Hamel (JD Vance) is a hetero-sectional.

And he shall remain as such until he is vanquished. Mocking these traitors is all they understand and anything we can do to cause them distress, I am here for.

[getagrip_already]

66. Such violent rhetoric? Uncalled for!

What did the poor ottoman ever do to you,?

Thats inhuman, and likely against site rules.

Violence is NEVER the answer.

Kill the couch? Really? Are we MAGA?

[regnaD kciN]

67. Fuck that. (And I don't mean the couch.)

Right now, the media is mainstreaming false “stolen valor” charges against our VP nominee. They are also allowing TSF’s non-stop, outrageous lies to go unchecked. Stop insisting on Marquis of Queensbury Rules during a knife fight.

[RedSpartan]

68. No. "When they go low, we go high" didn't work so well.

Time to play rough. Time to play to win. They do, so should we. Winners govern.

[mercuryblues]

70. The only way we're going to rise above It

Is if there is a blowup couch and we fill it with helium for him..

[gay texan]

71. HahahahahahahahahahahahahahHahHBa

Yeah, whatever.

Putting up with GOP bs for 30 years.

[gay texan]

74. Want to know how JD has been in your house?

The loose change is glued to the cushions...

[muriel_volestrangler]

75. Oh, screw the couch.

Oh, wait, that came out wrong ...

Intercourse the couch.

[Demsrule86]

123. I remain concerned for the couch...maybe a condom would not fit

but I hope he at least used some plastic wrap for the poor couch's sake...one should be considerate and practice safe couch sex.

[Red Mountain]

76. TSF mentioned a couch during his last press conference

Pointed out where there used to be one in the room to the reporters present.

Sadly, nobody took the bait.

[rzemanfl]

78. Some people say the couch wasn't white, and made of stolen velour, but....

he loves it.

[tulipsandroses]

79. Fine. He did not have sex with a couch... Maybe it was a Chaise Lounge or Futon?

?si=7raU_mvzgk3cRKG3

[Hekate]

189. Awesome! Who is this guy?

[Klarkashton]

80. Can we kill this thread?

[Demsrule86]

155. No, avert your eyes...

[Think. Again.]

156. I love this thread.

[BlueInPhilly]

163. Nope

[Hekate]

190. Silly person. This is another Thread That Will Never Die

Not as long as the puns keep coming.

Say, you missed The Door Buzzard episode, didn’t you? Don’t worry — it’ll come back around eventually.

[H2O Man]

195. Never.

[CincyDem]

81. I think we're missing a key point here... there was a latex glove involved so at least he was practicing safe sect[ional].

[Demsrule86]

125. I am so so relieved to hear this...

[Demsrule86]

151. Allegedly

[OnDoutside]

227. Top post !

[Demsrule86]

234. Thank you...yeah at least it wasn't an ostrich right? Allegedly.

And to be fair, that would be hard to do without help.....

[BattleRow]

157. The latex was

a PLAYtex glove..the glove of love

[mcar]

82. Yawn

[sheshe2]

83. Aaaah....

[The Magistrate]

84. 'Fair Play Is A Spectator's Virtue, Not a Participant's'

Politics will not, and cannot, be a humane and honorable business until the movement to christo-fascist minority rule is driven down to dust and mud. We are not required to be polite in doing so.

Do what works. Reinforce success. Hit 'em high, hit 'em low, kick 'em when they're down. Get 'em rattled, and keep the scare on.

[Hekate]

208. How very true this is, good Sir. I think the citizenry forgot just how hard the battles were...

…how much blood was shed and how many lives lost for each of the rights we gained in the 20th Century: labor unions, laws to protect children, laws to keep canned food wholesome, votes for women, Civil Rights, Women’s Rights, reproductive rights bit by bit until we got Roe…

Now this SCOTUS is taking apart all the gains of a century of progress.

So it falls to us to slap people awake, and we cannot couch our words timorously.

[FrankBooth]

87. No

It's working, it's driving them insane, it's putting them on the defensive, it's wasting their precious time on rebutall.


Keep pushing it and anything else that knocks those fuckers off balance. This isn't tiddlywinks, it's war.

[LauraInLA]

88. I agree with you!

[HelpImSurrounded]

90. Nope.

If it's working I'm going to use it. I live deep in Trumpland and I will not give up any working tactic.

[EarlG]

91. I heard it's not just Vance, they're ALL into it

Rumors abound of a mysterious supplier, authorities have only ever been able to get a single photo of him...

[FHRRK]

111. Lol I think you found the drug addicted pusher

Been told that pillows is the gateway drug, next thing it is ottomans, then love seats, and before your know it......your freind becomes a couch fucker just like Vance.

[Demsrule86]

238. They just should say NO. Get off the couch while you can...

[Demsrule86]

237. Sweet Jesus...they can't all be in on it...it is a couchspiracy.

[ibegurpard]

92. I don't believe

That JD Vance fucked a couch. I will tell everyone I meet that I don't believe JD Vance fucked a couch.

[Crunchy Frog]

93. Nope.

[FHRRK]

94. I believe you received your answer (overwhelmingly)

How about this, go over to a RW site and get them to agree that don't Dems support Post Birth Abortions, come back with an agreement from them to stop that lie, then we can have a discussion. Until then, he fucked a couch.

[FrankBooth]

96. I mean, lots of people have said he's a couch fucker

So, I guess a lot of people are saying he's a couch fucker.

[FHRRK]

101. i see about 50 people just on this thread

We should all meet up in some midwest cafe and see if the MSM shows up to understand our deep distaste for Couch Fuckers.

[Demsrule86]

240. There may be pictures...check X .

[Wicked Blue]

97. I don't want us to be soft on couches

I want to settee the course

[Blues Heron]

98. It's been furnishing some much needed comic relief though - definitely hard to fold this one up!

[Deek1935]

99. No. Mock and belittle these scumbags all the time! Enough is enough of these SCUMBAGS!

[Arne]

100. How many couches has he done it with, 2, 10, more?

We just don't know and need an investigation.

[Demsrule86]

162. Vance may be a nymphosectional in that case.

[Arne]

174. I saw the one with Scotch Guard instead of National Guard, funny.

[Demsrule86]

242. It is so funny.

[Demsrule86]

256. Kicking this thread...hate to be lectured!

[geo1]

103. Hell no !!!

Credibility went out the window 8 years ago. Too much to lose, whatever it takes, not going back!!!

[A HERETIC I AM]

104. You underestimate how many of the baby boomers on this board are still teenagers at heart.

[Demsrule86]

243. My husband says I am 12 1/2. He is not wrong at times.

Not long ago, a woman twice my size shouted at me to move my car...( I was within the lines and parked fine). I told her no, If she couldn't park in that big space next to me...I didn't want her in the same parking lot and locked my door. I am not crazy. My husband looked at me and said 12 1/2 huh? He said he would stay in the car to protect the car and so he could call the cops if that woman across the lot staring at me and not in a nice way 'started something.

[BlueKota]

273. My body is 62

My personality is 16 on a good day. 😆

[Oopsie Daisy]

105. Nope. And somewhere there are p-tapes of Trump.

[dameatball]

106. Are you Jesse Palmer??(Rooms To Go) Okay, just kidding We love you.

[Iggo]

107. Santorum. (n/t)

[Hekate]

218. Vitter

[The Third Doctor]

268. Lol

[Aviation Pro]

108. No

We’ll stop with Flipper the Couch Fucker when they stop with Big Mike.

[llmart]

109. No. Just no. Hell no.

The gloves are off and it's working. I'm having a great laugh at all the sophomoric memes and jokes floating around the internet. Besides, we have no proof that it didn't happen (ew).

[Wingus Dingus]

110. It just seems like humping a couch is something he would do. Not our fault it sticks.

Plus we're just people on the internet, and therefore have zero credibility to begin with, so joke's on you.

[ismnotwasm]

112. Fuck no

When they go low we drag them to hell.

[JustAnotherGen]

113. Its fun

[sheshe2]

207. I heard it was a pull out sofa...so he was out in good time.

[JustAnotherGen]

230. Oh!

This nicey goody goody stuff is not resonating with me. But that one liner did.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

114. NO.

How can he prove "it didn't happen"?

Dismayed at the multiple bossy OPs recently, don't call Kamala "Kamala," don't call the couch fucker a couch fucker...

How about letting adults make their own decisions.

[stumpysbear]

117. No, I have a sense of humor

[Rubyshoo]

118. Talk To Me AFTER This Election

[Demsrule86]

119. No, the couch is fun...we are keeping it.

[harumph]

120. No. It's too good not to be true.

Some people still maintain JB fucks couches - any couch - like an over-sexed pug - but it seems his favorite was an overstuffed
naugahyde sofa that a dorm mate had at Yale that JB nicknaked "lil' mud cricket." In fact, some people say that fucking couches is a rite of passage for Yale JD candidates.

[Xavier Breath]

121. Nah, that horse is not only out of the barn

it's galloping away in the next county.

[edisdead]

124. Let me explain something to yo.

First we didn't start it so chastizing people here is no good.


Second, this man wants to take voting rights away from childless cat ladies. Ok? Think about that for one second.

Now, he has brought all of this shit upon himself because he wants to be a fucking asshole. Not just an asshole though, he wants everyone to be miserable that do not follow his asshole ways.

So fuck him. He gets what he gets and I will not shed one fucking tear if people mock him. He deserves to be mocked. Incessently. Until he either changes his ways or he craps out like the piece of shit he is.

[dalton99a]

127. Fuck No.

[Ocelot II]

128. I want him to go on national television and deny it.

[Sneederbunk]

130. Next you are going to tell me Obama wasn't born in Kenya

and Al Gore did not say he invented the internet.

[TheKentuckian]

132. When they go low, I fire up the backhoe and ask them to hold my beer

which I then slap out of their hands in just the right way to make sure they have to change clothes and wipe backwash off their face.

[R0ckyRac00n]

133. I Like

How you couched your request in diplomatic terms.

[vercetti2021]

135. No way

We go high, they go low is another reason we lost in 2016. 2024 is they go low and we kick them in the balls.

[skylucy]

142. I'm so excited that I can finally use the

Couch emoji!

[Hekate]

221. LOL. Bouncy, bouncy -- then hide

*

[Scrivener7]

145. Bahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! What a dumb idea!!!

[NoveltySocks]

146. Nuh uh. Nope. It's funny and people are having fun with it.

This might be the best political meme since "santorum."

[dobleremolque]

152. No. We finally have something that's a karmic counter to the

deadly serious Q-anon and GOP scurrilous accusations of pedo sex rings child blood drinking in some Washington DC pizza parlor basement. While we were tightening our grip on the pearls and tut-tutting from our vantage point on the high road about how uncouthly unbelievable it all was, some gullible imbecile actually took his shotgun to the business back in 2017.

Vance fucked a couch is going to be embedded, no um, enshrined in the political science curriculum canon, along with FDR's Fala, Pat Nixon's cloth coat, Howard Dean's roar, Dan Quayle's "potato(e)" , etc. etc. etc.

No. No. No. We deserve this one for all its worth. And so does Vance.

[Lulu KC]

158. Well, I thought I was over it

But I have laughed out loud to this entire thread. The couch stays!

[blogslug]

160. Darn it!

I misread the link provided and got sad when there was no "Vance-Couch-Meme-Generator".

[usonian]

161. Let me sleep on it.

ON MY OWN DAMN COUCH, THAT IS.

So clean!

[yardwork]

165. ......

[Think. Again.]

169. His friends don't call him 'lazy-boy' for nothing.

[Alpeduez21]

170. When they go low we go high is an elitist pipe dream

When they go low kick the fucking shit out of them while they're down.

[magicarpet]

175. When they go low,...

We knock them down and spit on them.

How do ya like them potatoes ?

The nice guy approach does not work or apply to Fascists.

[Jarqui]

176. Nope. I'm angry about all the lying

Spent all day pounding the liars on social media
It's not enough.
No quarter.
Too many years of it. Can't stand it.
I've never liked people who hurt other people.
That is what these people do.

One of our posters sister was demeaned - made to feel less because she couldn't have kids. It hurt her.
They're calling to have AOC's citizenship revoked and having her kicked out of the country.
Ditto for Ilhan Omar. All racially based hatred.
I drift back to Obama .. that they had most of the GOP believing was a Muslim Kenyan to hurt him. Smearing a nice man like that. Making monkey jokes about Michelle.
They try to smear Joe Biden, one of the most honest politicians I've ever encountered into looking like he's a crook.
Both sides of my family served for generations. They didn't all get a fair shake Some died. Many suffered.
Demeaning John McCain's service .... "suckers" and "losers"
What they were doing to Tim Walz's military record really, really bothered me.
They're a bunch of ruthless, heartless, immoral, dishonest pigs.

Their whole movement is built on a mountain of lies.
Not for the good of the country but to cling to power at any cost.

I've had enough. I'm not going to be nice.

[Hekate]

222. Whoo! Now tell us how you really feel!

[Klarkashton]

177. Did he hump a couch? I'd like to know.

[ColinC]

178. JD Vance's relationship with his couch is his own business

Sure the idea came from a made up tweet, but how do I know what he does behind closed doors? And who am I to judge him for it?

[Maeve]

179. Laughter is the correct response

Yeah, I'd rather "go high", but sometimes fools gotta be laughed at.
Sofa, so good.

[Ferrets are Cool]

181. Nope. Swiftboating killed Kerry. JD can die on his couch.

[Solly Mack]

184. ...

[oasis]

185. Was J.D. invited to frolic in My Pillow Guy's harem?

Just asking.

[Demsrule86]

235. probaby not...

[ellie]

187. No.

Mockery is the only way to deal with fascists.

[H2O Man]

191. Gosh

[IrishAfricanAmerican]

192. Imma gonna have to give that a no, dog.

[Arthur_Frain]

194. Heh.

You’ve misread the room, my friend.

[H2O Man]

197. True, but

I do understand the concern about defense attorneys pointing out the cover the couch was wearing. It was tight and revealing.

[Arthur_Frain]

199. Even you

lol

From the couch to the “I’m not a Christian” audio bit. I guess there’s so much legitimate stuff to call these shitheads on their game, that it makes me crazy when we (IMHO) “step over the line” and embrace these obviously disprovable memes.

No matter. I just want him gone. I am starting to believe that I might get what I want, thanks to Kamala, and Tim. I’m okay with however we get there.

[H2O Man]

200. I think the police

are interviewing the couch to see how old it was at the time. I'm not sure it is correct to say Vance was a couch groomer at the time, despite leaks from the DA's office.

[chia]

198. The couch that keeps on giving.

[RandySF]

202. No

[Sky Jewels]

203. Nope!

Fuck Vance! He deserves it! It’s high time these GQP motherfuckers had a taste of their own medicine!

We’ve taken the high road for 44 years and we’re on the precipice of losing our democracy because we haven’t had the stomach to fight dirty like the right. Enough is enough! Pull no punches!

[Nevilledog]

206. What do you have against Heterosectionals?

[H2O Man]

211. !!!

[Blues Heron]

213. I think this thread is just Divan

[Scrivener7]

231. So fa it is, but it could turn ugly.

(This post is dedicated, of course, to Pinboy.)

[Mz Pip]

214. It was fun at first

but it’s getting old and distracting.

[Hekate]

223. snrk. What are you being distracted from?

[Demsrule86]

247. It is distracting only if you read it...hint hint...there are 100's of other threads available.

[Rubyshoo]

220. Didnt Percy Sledge Sing, When A Man Loves A Sofa ?

[Tweedy]

224. Nah.

It is too much fun. Nobody is being harmed by this particular meme-ing. It is truly light hearted, if a bit sectional

It sheds a ton of hilarious light on the lies and liars of the gop too

Everybody is in on the joke too
It isn’t like we are “people are saying,” “anonymous” sourcing here.

It demonstrates that Mr Trump and his Mr Vance are sorely lacking in a sense of humor.

[GoneOffShore]

225. He wants a return to the Ottoman Empire

[underpants]

226. 🏆

[OnDoutside]

228. The tale of this thread can be summed up as, Sofa, so gooooood....

[BrightKnight]

229. LOL, no - nt

[Blues Heron]

232. Please tell me he used a slipcover?

It would be terrible if he put the dining room chairs health at risk

[mucholderthandirt]

233. Is the Harris/Walz campaign using it? If not, what's your problem?

Oh, we're Democrats, we're better than that. Okay. Sure. You stop using it. But don't step on my rights, or expect any of us to do shut up about something you don't like.

I tell you what. When they stop lying, when Vance stops impugning the service of others, from his vast experience writing press releases behind the lines, I'll stop. I don't expect any of that will happen, but I vow today, this minute, that when they stop, I'll stop.

Until then, the couch fucker can whine like the fake hillbilly po' boy he is pretending to be.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

239. lol we who?

[orthoclad]

241. We need to move on to

sex-with-animals memes, specifically chickens and sheep.

I've had Appalachians tell me those Baron Munchhausen type stories, hoping someone would fall for them. Also fart-sniffing stories: the same one from three widely separated sources. I can really picture Vance in the starring role.

As T.E. Lawrence said (in the movie): No prisoners!

[DiamondShark]

255. I read somewhere it was dolphins.

[orthoclad]

280. Carl Hiassen

had a description of a dolphin raping a villain in a novel.

But I've heard the chicken, sheep and sniffing stories from multiple sources over the years. This means that they're in the folklore and will resonate.

[Brainfodder]

244. In summary, JV Vance isnt even his birth name, he is not due respect, that is earned, so the mocking of the dick conts?

You sign up with The Devil's Taint you pay dearly!
See fine print!
He's always looking for souls to steal!
Now he is definitely in a fucking bind and willing to squeal!
So starting throwing them under the bus you small handed cuss!
Grabbed a few too many, is it time to discuss?
Oh yeah 34 felonies and time to pay!
Hurrah it is time for him to go away!
What a relief they will all say!
And to all his billionaire donors please fuck off!
The End.

[Demsrule86]

246. The Couch thread remains until...Vance goes on national TV and denies it!

"Despite clearly being a joke—and featuring a claim easily debunked by thumbing a copy of Hillbilly Elegy—the post gained traction online. On Sunday, Oliver shared some theories as to why. “I think the reason it spread so fast might be that a) nobody read that fucking book, and b) it was incredibly easy to believe,” he said. Then the comedian let it rip, absolutely roasting Vance and his seemingly upholstery-loving face. “If you ask me to draw a man that fucks his couch, 10 times out of 10, I’m drawing this guy,” quipped Oliver. “If you ask me to play two truths and a lie with this man, before he’d even open his mouth, I’d shout, ‘The truth is he fucks his couch.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/story/john-oliver-called-jd-vances-campaign-to-ask-if-hed-ever-had-sex-with-a-couch
It started on X which makes it even more hillarious.

[JHB]

245. "When they go low, we kick them." -- Eric Holder

[Demsrule86]

251. No...

I love he couch meme. It is all in good fun.

[BlueTsunami2018]

252. No, fuck that.

What has all this “we’re better” high road bullshit gotten us except democracy itself hanging by a thread?

This is funny, harmless and is WORKING.

They don’t like being mocked and laughed at, it’s their kryptonite.

Keep pointing out how weird they are.
Keep pointing out how ridiculous they are.

And hey, I didn’t hear the couchfucker deny it.

So, no.

[Deek1935]

254. Fuckin-A right!

[Demsrule86]

258. Consider that Vance is so 'weird that folks believed it...

We all know it was a joke now. But when I heard it at first I considered it might be true...Vance is a strange bird. And now another couch joke...Vance's Couch is about to write a tell-all about the pain of being replaced with a loveseat. He should have had an NDA.

[DiamondShark]

253. No.

Your concern is DUly noted.

[DemonGoddess]

257. Whatever for?

We're having FUN with this. ...and we all know it's a joke. Take a chill pill.

[Demsrule86]

259. It is the height of irony that the OP is against couch jokes...

[JonAndKatePlusABird]

261. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

Much less start pulling teeth and doing a root canal....

[Kid Berwyn]

263. Why take away the One Thing that makes Shady seem normal?

That is, the mammal’s drive to reproduce. It just so happens the object of the couchfluffer’s desire is a Chesterfield from a nice showroom.

[Emile]

265. This is nothing in comparison of Vance swiftboating Walz. Why would

you complain about us having a little fun?

[Demsrule86]

267. Seriously...;part of the campain joy...and a warning to couches everywhere...hehe

[Elessar Zappa]

275. No, thanks.

I want to hear from his mouth that he doesn’t fuck couches. Then I’ll consider dropping it.

[Metaphorical]

276. Vance isn't a couch lover

He's more of a Metro-sectional.

[BlueKota]

277. Bullies will just keep bullying

until you start giving them a taste of their own medicine.

We need to stop letting them define us and start defining them.

[texasfiddler]

278. When they go low. Hit 'em with a couch.... or a coach. No thank you.

[Blue Owl]

279. I'd rather we focus on JD's Guard experience

[BamaRefugee]

281. AGREED! Dems MUST go back to becoming janitors cleaning up Republican messes every eight years or so!

None of this modern day digital political combat.
And stop saying WE WON'T GO BACK, if you want to return to some kind of imaginary political chivalry from 1948 or something.

[Demsrule86]

291. WEll SAID...

The couch has confided in me that they approve of this post and want me to say thank you...so thank you! Oh year, I am supposed to give you a rec too.

[Demsrule86]

293. Kick for visability.

[BamaRefugee]

295. Thank you!

[Eliot Rosewater]

282. I see some are saying NO we dont need to rise above...I say

FUCK NO...
HIGH ROAD my ass, do you see where that has got us so far!!!

[Demsrule86]

289. Well said Elliot!! Rec...they can kiss my ass in Macy;s window as my New Yorker Mother in law used to say !

[appmanga]

283. No.

Derision and ridicule are power political weapons. If such things offend you, that's fine, but it doesn't mean they need to stop.

[pattyloutwo]

284. Super dumb

Does more harm than good

[Scrivener7]

287. Harm to whom?

[Demsrule86]

290. What harm...maybe skip the platitudes.

It's not nice to call other posters dumb you know.

[kimbutgar]

286. But the couch joke is so comfy and soft and fun to dig at JDV

I can’t look at couch’s the same any more and not think of him. It’s the Hillary’s email “thing” against him and we need to keep poking him and the convicted felon.

[Demsrule86]

292. So perfect...and fun.

[BlueWavePsych]

294. "more cushon for the pushin"

[Niagara]

307. OMG!

[jcgoldie]

299. no

you do you. There's nothing wrong with slinging bullshit back at the professional shit slingers.

[rzemanfl]

301. Wouldn't a trial separation be better?

Think of the loose change in there.

[Greybnk48]

304. Every time I look at JD Vance, I see him putting on mascara, lipstick, and humping couch cushions.

I don't know. I think it should be talked about some more!

Example: What if he's elected and then Trump is committed for dementia and he becomes President? He get that 3 o'clock phone call, and it's a face-time. He's all sweaty, and lipstick smeared from humping that couch while his wife is asleep! HE. Can't. Take. The. Call!

Then what?? The call goes to his VP, Majorie Taylor Green, who's busy humping Matt Gaetz?? Still a face-time call???

And so on. If JD Vance/Bowman/Hamel is in fact a couch fucker/homo-sectional/vladimeer futon kinda guy who love to put on make-up like President Cheato, then we need to discuss.

[Kashkakat v.2.0]

305. I agree, but only because things get tiresome from overuse

Americans get bored easily, gotta know when to move on to the next big thing! Gotta keep it fresh and newsworthy!

[Niagara]

306. We don't know if it happened or not

He hasn't denied it. We're also aware of several things about JD Vance.



1. The weirdo was born James Donald Bowman. I realize that things happen in life and sometimes names get changed. Then his mother changed his name to James David Hamel. Then he took his grandparents surname Vance when he got married.

2. He's verbally attacked Trump publicly and now he's his VP choice.

3. He posts and says weird shit.



4. He's verbally attacked child-free women.


5. He's now verbally attacking Tim Walz's military service AKA swift-boating.


6. He's attempted to harassed Kamala Harris recently on a tarmac.


I say we keep this momentum against this weirdo. Karma and all that.

[LuckyCharms]

308. !!!

Notfurfukken

[c-rational]

309. So, is JD considered a hetero-sectionall. Did the couch sign a NDA, and what would the off-spring be called?

[KPN]

310. Lol! This is perhaps the most hilarious thread I have ever perused here at DU! And for that ...

Nice work all!

[awesomerwb1]

311. HECK NO - keep it alive