What do MAGA men use for birth control?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

Their personalities.

[CrispyQ]

1. I LOLd.

[Scrivener7]

2. Neck beards. Or biblical prophet beards.

[kimbutgar]

8. When I was a young lass in college I dated twice a guy with a full beard

It smelled and he had particles of food on it. I was so grossed out by him that I told him a small fib that I was not ready to get in a relationship. He called me 2 months later to meet his new girlfriend who was really nasty towards me and he pulled me aside and told me he’d drop her for me! I told him no I wasn’t looking for a husband in college (truth) like a lot of girls I knew then, But that beard I could t get past!

Luckily, I married to a man who shaves everyday even when he’s not feeling well! I’ve worked with guys that have nice beards also but as a young woman I said no thank you!

[Talitha]

10. TBH, it's surprising they can't smell the damned things - they're right under their noses.

My hubby grew one many years ago. Not one of those long billygoat looking things... more like the guy on the Brawny paper towel package. It didn't have food particles in it but it never smelled fresh, either. I asked him to start shampooing it instead of using soap, and it smelled a lot better when he did.

But the guys he worked with (blue collar) teased him and said he smelled like a 'girly-boy' so he went back to using soap. The musty beard-smell was nauseating and I wouldn't let him near me unless he shampooed it first. He couldn't be bothered though, so he just shaved it off.

[haele]

13. Laz washes his beard every other day.

Old Spice and Dove make 3-in-1s for men that's pretty good, leaves his beard soft, and doesn't encourage acne while smelling "manly' or at least neutral. That's what he'll typically get, because we can usually find it when grocery shopping fairly cheap.

Shea Moisture and Duke Cannon both excellent beard specific washes - formulated for the coarse beard hair and sensitive facial skin - you can get at "fancier" stores like Target or Ross.

A dry pomade and coconut or shea butter regimen also works if you want to go home-made.

Haele

[PeaceWave]

16. Good for you. Yes. Beards are stinky - basically arm pit hair on the face.

[Coventina]

28. Beards are not stinky if the man uses personal hygiene.

My husband shampoos, conditions, and balms his beard daily.
Therefore it's clean, soft, and not smelly at all.

[3catwoman3]

52. Eewww - that description is gonna...

...stay in my brain.

[Sucha NastyWoman]

35. And shaved heads

Seems like every magat man over 45 inTexas is trying to copy the Chip Roy look.

[czarjak]

47. Only out of necessity. For some.

[Diamond_Dog]

3. Excellent!

[SheltieLover]

4. Their appearances & their speech

[Oopsie Daisy]

22. Their haircuts (or lack thereof) and their teeth (or lack thereof) ...

... and yes, dentures and implants can be expensive (ask me how I know) but so too are the cigarettes, dip, chaw, and meth that help to ruin their teeth.

[Dock_Yard]

33. Smelly, long sleeved flannel shirt ... untucked

Dumpy baseball cap
Poorly fitting jeans (never any other type of pants)
Untrimmed, spotty beard

[SheltieLover]

38. And their stench

Not to mention their overall energy.

[Oopsie Daisy]

41. Cheap beer, cheap cigarettes and Axe body spray.

[MuseRider]

5. Breathing.

[gab13by13]

9. Mouth breathers?

[MuseRider]

49. ANY kind of breathing.

[SheltieLover]

39. For sure!

[Kittycatkat]

6. They carry around Shady Vance sperm...

yikes!

[PJMcK]

7. Good one!

It reminds me of the time I had an experience of oral contraception. I asked a woman to go to bed with me and she said, “No.”

[TommieMommy]

11. So funny 😂👍

[vankuria]

12. I'd bet

Not too many are getting much action nowadays, lol 😝

[CaptainTruth]

14. MAGA hats.

[MineralMan]

15. No Problem. They're All Incels.

[lame54]

17. Red hats

[Demsrule86]

18. HaHa Excellent...told hubs and he cracked up...

[Mr.Bill]

19. I never had biological children.

I always joke that it's because I relied on my looks and personality for birth control. This makes my wife angry, but always gets a good laugh from everyone else present.

[birdographer]

20. I saw the title of this post

and my first thought was "If you don't have a sexual partner you don't need birth control..."

[rubbersole]

25. Do couch cushions count?

What about sheep?

[Happy Hoosier]

21. red hats

[Jack Valentino]

23. "Donald Trump won the 2020 election" should suffice.

[Sogo]

24. They don't need it.

nt

[calimary]

26. I KNEW it!

That was my guess before I even opened this!

[Marthe48]

27. Why do magats have dry skin?

Because all of the lotion says to 'apply liberally."

(I made that up)

[Emile]

37. Good one, lol 😆.

[rubbersole]

46. You missed your calling...

[Marthe48]

48. Thank you

I'll be here all week! lol

[Jrose]

29. Endless whining, insulting women and ruining couches

[Kid Berwyn]

30. A Trick Question

Everyone knows MAGA men do not have sex with human females.

Couches, sofas and medium-to-large animals are another matter.

[Warpy]

31. Personalities, politics, personal hygiene, deep loathing of women over 25

(because we become considerably less compliant, even those of us who were doormats at 16), and tendency to blame everybody but themselves for their screwups in life, and their basic selfishness.

I know the type well from living down south, where they don't even try to hide it to get laid. I always found it off putting in the extreme. So it worked really well for them as birth control where I was concerned, there wasn't a hope in hell with me.

[BrianTheEVGuy]

32. Nothing kills off my spark faster than right wing media blaring in the background

Total, complete interest-killer.

I’m not single anymore but once had a MAGA dude try to sell me on Trump during a date. I figured to respect differences and hear him out but by the end of the date I knew our values were too different.

I’m not single these days… he is still single and bitterly complaining about it!

[ProudMNDemocrat]

34. MAGA men use Birth Control?

Reminds me of the Grammy winning comedy album by the late, great Robin Williams called LIVE AT THE MET..

On side 2, Williams goes into Sex, falling in love, pregnancy, and Parenthood. In the sex part, Robin Williams said one does need sex advice from a "tiny Jewish lady", but by a big Black lady by the name of Dr. Roof.."She'll set yo ass straight!"

Robin Williams mimics an insecure man calling into Dr. Roof's radio show. "Dr. Roof! I have a small penis. Will that make a difference?"

Dr. Roof replies..."Honey! You can't whip butta with a toothpick!"

So appropriate for today's MAGA man.

[GoYouPackersGo]

36. A lot of them are ugly as fuck, too.

[ProfessorGAC]

40. I Sniffed It Out!

That's because if you didn't say it, I was going to!

[Marthe48]

42. They're posing as Minutemen

in relationships, not a point in the plus column

[keithbvadu2]

43. 'Expert' analysis by a conservative... reply::: your face

Conservative women attractive -
Liberal women ugly -

'Expert' analysis by a conservative... reply::: your face

[Ping Tung]

44. Infertile couches?

[Buckeyeblue]

45. The light on

[newdayneeded]

50. I'll go with a trump mask.

[Bobstandard]

51. Ann Coulter? nt

[mucholderthandirt]

53. My ex usually had a beard (after he was out of the USAF), it never stank.

All three sons have or had beards, never stank (never smelled anything when we hugged). Not sure why some men are nasty, but if their beards stank, you know their junk did.

Now I'll never get that image out of my head. Sorry. My bad.

[Joinfortmill]

54. Rofl