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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSpeaker Mike Johnson's chief of staff could not complete a sobriety test after twice striking a black Chevy Suburban
How in the name of comedy relief and drunk driving did I miss this?
https://www.shreveporttimes.com/story/news/2025/03/05/speaker-mike-johnson-chief-of-staff-arrested-on-dui-charge-in-capitol-after-trump-address/81665615007/]
U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson's chief of staff, Hayden Haynes, was arrested and charged with DUI following President Donald Trump's address to Congress late Tuesday night.
https://www.ncja.org/crimeandjusticenews/mike-johnson-aide-could-not-do-sobriety-test-after-dui-arrest]
House Speaker Mike Johnsons chief of staff, Hayden Haynes, could not complete a sobriety test after twice striking a black Chevy Suburban with his white Tesla sedan, said an affidavit from the officer who arrested him for driving under the influence. The officer who responded just after midnight an hour after President Trump completed his joint address to Congress said that Haynes was slurring his words when voice activating his vehicle to open the glove compartment, had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath and said hed had four drinks over a four-hour period, Politico reports.
Haynes needed help putting his glasses in his pocket, and was unable to complete the remainder of the field sobriety test because he was swaying from left to right. Asked to provide a urine sample, Haynes dropped the cup into the toilet, and when given another cup, he could not provide a sample. "The Speaker has full faith and confidence in Haydens ability to lead the Speakers office, said a Johnson spokesperson. Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) jokingly made reference to the case when speaking about Republican opposition to diversity, equity and inclusion programs. "They're not that into DEI. But they love DUI," he said. "We gotta stop those DUI hires on Capitol Hill."
Haynes needed help putting his glasses in his pocket, and was unable to complete the remainder of the field sobriety test because he was swaying from left to right. Asked to provide a urine sample, Haynes dropped the cup into the toilet, and when given another cup, he could not provide a sample. "The Speaker has full faith and confidence in Haydens ability to lead the Speakers office, said a Johnson spokesperson. Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) jokingly made reference to the case when speaking about Republican opposition to diversity, equity and inclusion programs. "They're not that into DEI. But they love DUI," he said. "We gotta stop those DUI hires on Capitol Hill."
Long time aid to Speaker Johnson... such fine, upstanding chaps the Speaker hangs around with.
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Speaker Mike Johnson's chief of staff could not complete a sobriety test after twice striking a black Chevy Suburban (Original Post)
Attilatheblond
Mar 11
OP
Mikey will have to also monitor chief's alcohol intake alongside already monitoring Johnson's son's porn feed
Bernardo de La Paz
Mar 11
#3
Maru Kitteh
(29,886 posts)1. If I had that job I would be BLASTED 24/7.
yup
editing to add, and I dont even hardly drink anymore . . perhaps 10 total per/year
BoRaGard
(4,719 posts)2. republican "values" are in no way aligned with Christ's teachings
The main republicon values are greed, bearing false witness, and hypocrisy up the wazoo.
This case is just one more in an exhausting string of examples.
HoosierDebbie
(410 posts)6. I'm pretty sure
I'm pretty sure you can find "wazoo" in Corinthians 2.
Bernardo de La Paz
(53,869 posts)3. Mikey will have to also monitor chief's alcohol intake alongside already monitoring Johnson's son's porn feed
"DUI hires" -- brilliant! Meme it!
Peter Kegsbreath is also a DUI hire at the Pentagon.
DFW
(57,623 posts)4. Raskin for Poet Laureate!
They're not that into DEI. But they love DUI,
OH, yeah!!!!!!!!!!
Karadeniz
(24,043 posts)5. If i had to help their agenda, i might drink, too........
Marcuse
(8,255 posts)7. I pity the fool. His boss is a spineless marionette. Trump and Musk exemplify the other three types.

AwakeAtLast
(14,312 posts)8. While driving a Tesla, no less!
But of course!
Jersey Devil
(10,407 posts)9. Cops should have taken him to the hospital and had blood drawn
Dropped the cup, yeah, sure.