Mary Trump has an important message.

[bluescribbler]

https://www.marytrump.org/p/now-is-our-time?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=559646&post_id=163678522&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=eoxcz&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

"Seventy-four million people voted for this. For decades now, people on the left have been making an assumption about voters on the right—that for reasons we can’t fathom they continue to vote against their self-interests, but I think it’s more accurate to say that we often mistake what people's self-interests actually are.

Because sometimes the self-interests of other people are incomprehensible to us—we find them unspeakable. We mistakenly believe that that their self-interests align with our own. That, for example, like us, they want their children to do better than they did; that they want health care and child care and clean air and water.

And perhaps they do want those things, but they want other things more. They want white people to have more rights than minorities; they want to marginalize further those who are already marginalized; they don’t want to do better than such people, they simply want those people to do worse. They like it when the people in power—those they support, those who represent them and them alone—are cruel to the most vulnerable among us."

More at link.

[NNadir]

1. There's a lot of truth in this analysis. This doesn't explain all of it, but unquestionably much of it.

[UpInArms]

2. My neighbor

About thirty years ago …

Their middle child, Brian, was pretty smart (we live in a rural farming community) and brought his report card over … he had an A in math and was doing really good in school … my hubby gave him $10 as a reward … he was beaming … she looked over at him and said “don’t get any big ideas, you are never going to college”

He ended up working crap jobs and had failed marriages, 3 small children, two baby mamas … committed suicide 2 years ago on Labor Day …

[yardwork]

5. I saw the same in the rural community where I grew up.

The assumption that all parents want their children to do better than them is wrong.

My own mother had to escape from a similar family. Through a combination of hard work and some luck she succeeded, but she carried lifelong wounds.

[cab67]

23. depends on what one means by "do better."

To many on the right, going to college isn't seen as a means of improving oneself. It's seen as a form of indoctrination.

[Chemical Bill]

66. I wonder...

if low income parents see college as costing more than they will ever be able to afford. Or perhaps college is a way to get their kids into debt that they will never pay off. Of course, since Reagan, they are right.

[Mossfern]

15. I was appalled

when my grandson's other grandmother complained that he reads too much. I firmly replied "There is no such thing as reading too much!" Fortunately, my son agrees with me. It's got to a point that before I gift my grandchildren books, I have to check with their parents if they have already read them.

The woman is no "backwater denizen of the holler" but a middle class wife of an attorney.
Of course, she and her husband are Trump supporters.

[stollen]

38. Studies have been done on this

Bottom line is that kids usually don't perform or gravitate above their parents' expectations and/or are suppressed by cultural norms, such as in Native American populations. When provided the choice between academic and vocational tracks, the choice is usually based on what track the parents are/were on. Like the example per the poster's comment... vocationally tracked parents don't understand the academic track or how to break into it, so they can't direct their children in that direction. Or, a change of track is seen as a one-ups-manship on the parents. Etc. These days, the academic track simply isn't affordable for many.

The track of least resistance will likely become the chosen track.

[rsdsharp]

41. I was incredibly lucky, I think. Neither of my parents went to college; neither did their parents,

or any other members of their families.

I grew up lower middle class. We didn’t have much money, but my parents subscribed to two newspapers, and multiple magazines. They bought a set of encyclopedias, and made sure there were books in the house. They used the incentive of a library card to get us to learn to tie our shoes.

All four of their kids graduated from college, with three of us getting graduate degrees. The one sibling with “only” a batchelors degree probably made more money than the other three of us combined.

My wife, who is at least my intellectual equal, has two AA degrees, primarily because her parents didn’t see any value in college degrees. “Why study something unrelated to what you want to do?” Because of this attitude, she failed to pursue a scholarship to major in math, when it was offered to her while in high school.

I have never understood that mindset, and stepped in when they tried to tell our daughter the same thing.

[haele]

43. The difference is if they're raised to keep to their station

And family, or to take opportunities to live the life they want.
Even families who want the best for their kids might also be reinforcing the "don't get above your yourself" mindset - meaning that if you go beyond the acceptable hierarchy and expectations of your "tribe", you will lose your way and become one of the others, - if you survive at all.
It doesn't have to be rural or lower class families, either.
Who knows if some of these rich Conservative Elitist Jerkwads might actually have been happier and more pleasant being a mechanic or waiter than going to that Ivy League to live up to the Old Man's reputation.
My folks taught me to be curious, accepting, and learn as much as I could so I would be able to do whatever I could to survive.
My folks were poor but educated.
But lots of families I know, no matter their social, educational, or financial state, don't think their kids should try to be something other than a narrow range of roles.

[stollen]

77. Parents and society play a huge role in tracking

which often doesn't take into consideration actual ability. My life was more or less like yours. I was the first in my extended family to graduate, which shook up the odds. Fortunately, in CA Reagan hadn't yet become governor to increase college tuition prices. So I got in "cheap."

Choosing the path already taken/of least resistance explains "the military family" in an extended sense.

"That's what my dad did, so I decided I would, too."

Mentors play a huge role in unending past practice.

[Joinfortmill]

47. Words matter.

[bdamomma]

49. Sad

outcome

Just a question for my DU family do you guys listen to Dr. Mary??? She's very good.

[ReRe]

60. Who's Dr Mary?

[Hekate]

65. In context, Dr. Mary Trump, PhD, clinical psychologist and niece of Donald

[ReRe]

68. OK.. I thought you was talking about Ms Trump

but then again, I thought there might be another Dr Mary I didn't know about. As Gilda would say: "Nevermind."

[bdamomma]

69. Dr.

Mary Trump, Psychologist. That's what some people call her, on Mary Trump Media.

[Chicagogrl1]

3. Truth

[Bettie]

4. Yep...time to stop believing that they

are decent people. Most of them aren't.

I've given up on the idea that most people are good at their core. This election shows us that they aren't.

[OldBaldy1701E]

76. Humans are humans.

They are what they are. I never make assumptions with humans because I have lived around too many that are desperately trying to not be human.

[sop]

6. She's absolutely right about Republican voters' self-interests, they are incomprehensible to most decent people.

[orangecrush]

7. Sad but true

[rubbersole]

8. Pretty much.

Brings to mind the LBJ quote about convincing the lowest white man that he's better than the black man - he'll support you no matter what.
I've never understood how the electricians I worked with complained about immigrants taking their jobs when we couldn't get anyone to do this work. All the construction jobs (in FL anyway) were lacking skilled workers. The physically difficult ones - drywall, roofing, pouring concrete, landscaping, etc.- couldn't find any 'Muricans to do that work. Just sayin'.

[Scrivener7]

9. But we can't only blame republiQans. How many Democrats stayed home? A lot of the racism and sexism is

coming from inside our own house. We ignore that at our own peril.

[Dem4life1970]

10. She's not wrong

That is why I say we do not need to convert these people to the reality based voting world. Let them continue to find out. We need them to get angry and stay home. Their vote in 2024 showed that they have no business in a voting booth. No I do not want or take away their constitutional right to vote it's just that they're too stupid to make a good decision. We need to reach out to people who will make smart choices in the voting booth. People who will not turn around immediately and say I have made a terrible mistake. People who won't start googling what is a tariff after they cast their ballot early as the Google search spikes showed after early voting in many states.

[William Seger]

11. Whatever the reason, I'm pretty sure now that they will not change their minds...

... open their eyes, yank their heads out of their asses, or experience an epiphany from a merciful God. Our ONLY hope is to outnumber them at the polls.

[Hornedfrog2000]

12. Lets not miss the big picture

The russians, chinese, elon trump, etc are pumping propaganda into the media, non stop.

This is by far the biggest thing that needs to stop.

They are pumping billions into it because they know they can win with it. You cant beat america with bombs, so you beat them by making them join you. They are targeting our youth via the internet. They post things pretending to be us, and make these young people think its ok to be racist, sexist, homophobic and cruel. It pays off. Target the new popular social media. Send a few hundred posters to post propaganda, etc. We are in the middle of a war, and its for our reality.

[Scubamatt]

32. Absolutely spot on

The best message will be lost if it isn't disseminated smartly, consistently and constantly. I don't know what the solution is, but we need to figure out how to counter the right wing propaganda regime.

[bdamomma]

54. It's a tall order

but eliminate Fox and all other right-wing swill rotting people's heads with propaganda. They believe what these Right wing lunatics tell them. And they call us lunatics, which is totally disgusting.

Welcome To DU

[Delmette2.0]

13. My R Senator sends out flyers that list all the

Hot topics. None of it has his opinion just the topic, his Montana history and how to donate money.
People, especially elderly assume that he thinks the same as they do. I write to him and express my opinion, politely. This year I got no response except his staff turned my name and address over to the RNCC. F*** I got a letter from Ted (ick) Cruz and someone else.
This is how they care about our opinions.
Hold them individually responsible for everything and anything. Politely vent away. Enjoy the satisfaction of speaking out. Perhaps someone on his staff will see the light and walk away.

[democrank]

14. I never believed Trump supporters voted for him mainly because of economic reasons.

Trump may have regurgitated a few economic talking points, but his consistent messages revolved around degrading any person or groups of people who were in the “others” category.

Trump made it perfectly acceptable to discriminate and hate right out loud.

[radical noodle]

26. I think there is a difference between trump supporters

and trump voters. While both groups voted for him, those who are not supporters did vote for him because they thought he'd do something they wanted him to do. The supporters are just a cult and he can do nothing wrong in their eyes. They believe all the conspiracy theories and lies. They're the out-and-out racists and homophobes.

I saw a black female small business owner interviewed shortly before the election who was voting for him because she mistakenly thought he'd be better for her business. I wonder about her now.

The trump voters are the ones we can still get, I think. We're not communicating to them somehow and we need to do better on that front, but I'm not wise enough to know how.

[ShazzieB]

45. Absolutely true!

I've seen some interviews with people like the lady you described, and seen written quotes from others. I know for a fact that a lot of people voted for him because they were gullible enough to believe that, among other things, he was actually going to bring prices down. (After all, he promised, didn't he? /s).

Some people are both gullible and evil, but some are just gullible. I believe many of the latter are gettable, as you say.

[misanthrope]

71. Any business owner worth their salt can see through Trump with ease

They vote for him because they believe in the trope that Republicans are better for business as a general rule.

[3catwoman3]

37. Also, "Trump made it perfectly acceptable to..."

...proudly behave like a completely ignorant asshole.

[bdamomma]

55. He made

it so acceptable that little boys were grabbing little girls' privates. He's a lowlife.

[AverageJoe]

16. This has been clear from the start

Trumpers are white supremacists. Cruelty is always the only point.

[kkmarie]

17. Absofuckinlutely

[Rhiannon12866]

18. Thanks for posting. I have her first two books and recommend them both

[hadEnuf]

19. It's always been around, but this national selfishness was really made chic when Reagan took office.

We now have generations who have been raised on this shit and Trump has taken away all of the restraints to weaponized the hate against all of those who are marginalized.

The psychos under Trump and the constant right-wing propaganda is not going to stop on its own.

[gordianot]

20. I came to the same ccollusion 40 years ago.

Every year gets worse stay awake they are living in a fog devoid of empathy.

[hvn_nbr_2]

21. They would gladly become slaves if...

They would gladly become slaves if they knew that the people they hate would be lower class slaves.

[travelingthrulife]

29. I think they will have that slave opportunity soon

Jobs are not coming back from China until we accept Chinese wages.

[dalton99a]

35. +1

[Fla Dem]

22. Oh I certainly believe that. It's also anti feminism. Many white men need their superiority protected.

Trump is the biggest example of that.

[iluvtennis]

25. Spot on, Mary Trump, spot on!!!!

...they want other things more.

They want white people to have more rights than minorities;

they want to marginalize further those who are already marginalized;

they don’t want to do better than such people, they simply want those people to do worse.

=====
My only change to what Mary Trump said would be: they do want to do better than those they marginalize, at least they want that perception.

[Paladin]

27. Well said by Mary Trump. As usual. (nt)

[OLDMDDEM]

28. Mary Trump is right. People voted for who they thought best fit their ideas and desires.

Sadly, there are those amongst us, including family, that have those same hatred, racist desires as Trump does.

[Maru Kitteh]

30. I've said that for YEARS now. He hates who they hate, and that is enough for

them. Because he hates who they hate, they love him. Mary just gave the PhD version. She’s correct, of course.

[Upthevibe]

31. bluescribbler.............

Thank you for this post.

I've read both of her books and listen to her podcast/YouTube on a regular basis. IMHO, her books are MUST reading...

[ananda]

33. Very enlightening.

This is an important message.

Thanks.

[dalton99a]

34. A must read.

[erronis]

36. This caught my attention. No Democrats waiting in line behind Cory Booker

A few weeks ago, Senator Cory Booker spent over 25 hours standing up in the well of the Senate to make the case that democracy is under threat. It was extraordinarily well done and it was an important demonstration of how to slow the destruction down while calling it out.

But as soon as I realized that there was not a line of Democrats waiting to take Booker’s place, that told me something about how our party leaders misunderstand this moment. Not only do we need to be honest about what is happening with the fascist Republican Party, we need to be honest about the ways in which the Democrats are falling short.

[marti]

39. marti

So True- Or as We at home say "He's more like one of us" ( us being Magas) So tired of Democrats self sabotaging

[Martin68]

40. I don't try to imagine why people voted for Trump. I assume they believed he'd do what he promised which included

pumping up the racism, getting revenge on liberals, shut own the courts and decimate the federal government, support dictators all over the world and abandon all our loyal allies.

[BaronChocula]

42. It's not that healthcare, jobs, and goods & services aren't their interests

Last edited Sat May 17, 2025, 04:49 AM - Edit history (2)

When the bigots vote for bigot rights, but then lose their healthcare, gov't job, goods for their store shelves, and labor for their businesses, that's when they realize what their interests were. Otherwise there wouldn't be so much regret over their choice.

This is just a case of making bad choices that put one's interests in jeopardy. Hate and insecurity are good at screwing up your priorities.

[Pinback]

53. Well said.

“Hate and insecurity are good at screwing up your priorities.” So true in all areas of life.

[alwaysinasnit]

44. And IMO that is why they are worse monsters than those they vote into office.

[Joinfortmill]

46. Yup. A lot of people suck.

[jgmiller]

48. There is truth in this but there are many more subtle reasons too

I have much older neighbors who aren't traditional racists, they have no problem with minorities until they start seeing more of them living in their neighborhood than they are comfortable with. I would say 90% of the time these people are Trump voters because they think somehow he will turn back the clock 40 years. The ironic thing is that in my neighborhood the minorities that are moving in are upper middle income and take better care of their houses than their white neighbors and are more friendly.

Then you also have those that just don't always put two and two together. They aren't bad people, they aren't racist, they don't love facists but they just don't think things through all the time. I know someone in his 30's with young kds, he's smart but never applied himself in school however he has a decent paying job and so does his wife. He knows Trump is an idiot but he still votes for him because Trump is vocal about what he wants to do and Biden wasn't (or rather the media never covered it the same way). He thinks his kids will be fine because he was fine even though he really just lucked out in life with most things and he thinks Trump will continue to make his life ok. He doesn't want to apply himself past his basic comfort level to become a multi-millionaire he just wants to work and have fun in life. His wife on the other hand works very hard and has had to fight for where she is and she hates Trump because she has had to think about the future her whole life.

[KT2000]

50. A hard lesson was learning

there are parents who do not want their children to do better than they did. They will sacrifice a lot to keep the status quo even if it is dangerous for them. They don't want their kids to become the "others."

I am starting to wonder how many people in the US grew up under abusive conditions where cruelty was not abnormal. Maybe we have been sucked into the fantasy of the TV families being the norm. We have been fighting a nonexistent model and have to face reality.

I have a friend who has an abusive husband. She insists his cruelty is because he is mentally ill. She finally made contact with a therapist who is setting her straight - step by step. She is learning a new way of living now but it will be a gradual process. Our country needs such an education for people to realize their cruelty is not a sign of strength - it is a sign of cruelty.

[bdamomma]

57. A sign of cruelty

and hate. Sickening. Some people's moral code is in the sewer.

[Ziggysmom]

58. I was an only child, raised on a farm. Dad went to high school and then WWII the Navy, so

he was pretty well educated for a part time farmer and full time welder. Mom went to 6th grade and dropped out to work on her parent’s farm. A lot of that occurred back in the 1930s and 40s when they came of age. My mother never wanted me to go to college. She was frightened by the Civil Rights Movement, rebellion to Vietnam, and thought all college kids did was protest, party and do drugs. Luckily I did go to college, but her ignorance made it hell. I loved my mom, but it was very hard to get along with her old fashioned ways and stubborn ignorance. If she were still alive I know she would have a red hat.
I totally relate to your comment, “there are parents who do not want their children to do better than they did”!

Peace

[Meowmee]

51. That explains some but not all who voted for psycho

[Keepthesoulalive]

56. But they are alright

With the carnage. We’re talking about microscopic differences in active participants and enablers. There is no reason to support this man , he does nothing for anyone but himself and his lackeys.

[Meowmee]

59. I don't recall me saying it was alright to support him...

He murdered my father with covid... enough said.

[Keepthesoulalive]

62. I did not say that

What I said was that for people who support him nothing is a dealbreaker. My sympathy for the loss of your father . COVID like AIDS was another example of the callousness of the Republican Party.

[Bread and Circuses]

52. I've had this opinion about republican voters since Reagan...and

They are tied to their misguided belief that they ARE

-the silent majority,
-the backbone of the nation
-true Americans
-preserving the faith of the only God that is American
-And that any and all other opinions are always wrong.

Ronnie Raygun started this indoctrination and it has exploded, they will Never accept new ideas.

[malaise]

61. Profound

Rec

[B.See]

63. I've been saying the same thing for a decade now but hey

nice to know SHE gets it.

[misanthrope]

64. My life spent in Alabama taught me what she said

There is a lot of hatred and bitterness in this nation.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

67. There's nothing that makes people more nasty than envy.

It’s the stereotype that is only liberals vote for Dems. We all went to top colleges, go to Starbucks and eat avocado toast and think we’re smarter than them.

[paulkienitz]

70. My gf thinks they want genocide... I think no, they want to always have an oppressed class.

[spanone]

72. K&R

[Xolodno]

73. The MAGA portion of my family has two predominate views...

1. Going to college means your lazy and don't want to work.

2. Getting government benefits means your lazy and don't want to work.

Thier thinking is often one dimensional. They believe returning to the "good ole days" where you can work at a factory will bring the good times back. When you tell them the only reason they were "good" was because the economies of Europe and Asia were devestated from WW2 and now that they have rebuilt, that time will not be returning, they refuse to believe it.

[Akakoji]

74. Nailed it

Will we ever stop according them the premise of decency?

[SunSeeker]

75. "they don't want to do better than such people, they simply want those people to do worse."

That's it in a nutshell. They're OK with a shitty life so long as those people's lives are even shittier.